Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[theriddler3]

I believe cake is Tess’s choice of drug like how Amberlynn’s drugs are rice, orange chicken, ramen and Reese’s.

I don't understand how she doesn't get tired of cake. It's uber sweet and that's about it. You'd think she'd throw in some ice cream or candy to the mix, but it's always just cake. And lots of it.

 

[Angry New Ager]

Vice published an article about the current state of the body-positivity movement, and Tess gets some of the spotlight. Surprised she hasn't already started shilling this everywhere, especially since it's full of the typical #woke garbage she's always spewing. Maybe because it points out that Tess is significantly more well-known and well-respected than the fat black women she claims to be so devoted to?
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"Still, Holliday hasn't amassed the fandom of 'curve' models like Ashley Graham (who has a whopping 11 million followers on Instagram)..."

That sentence. That's why she hasn't shilled this article everywhere.

As usual tess sure knows how to take a charming photo.

People who work in bakeries eat less cake than tess

I've known people who worked in bakeries who ended up losing all cravings for cake, pastry, etc., just because they ate so much of that stuff in the first few months and got totally sick of it. And decades ago, one of my housemates worked for a well-known candy manufacturer who allowed their employees to eat all the candy they wanted while working the line. Nobody who had been there longer than about six weeks ever ate the damned candy, because they'd already eaten themselves sick at least once, and were constantly surrounded by all the sickeningly sweet smells of it.

 

[JambledUpWords]

I don't understand how she doesn't get tired of cake. It's uber sweet and that's about it. You'd think she'd throw in some ice cream or candy to the mix, but it's always just cake. And lots of it.

There’s been a few times where she’s gotten ice cream and milkshakes (namely Jeni’s and freakshake monstrosities). Cake is probably her favorite, but I believe ice cream and ice cream related products are her second favorite.

 

[JuniperFalls]

I'm assuming the cake isn't plant based...

Sure it is! Flour comes from wheat, sugar comes from cane or beets, corn syrup from corn, chocolate from cacao beans, champagne is made from grapes ... plants, every one.

 

[JambledUpWords]

 

[Miss Misery]

And decades ago, one of my housemates worked for a well-known candy manufacturer who allowed their employees to eat all the candy they wanted while working the line. Nobody who had been there longer than about six weeks ever ate the damned candy, because they'd already eaten themselves sick at least once, and were constantly surrounded by all the sickeningly sweet smells of it.

Was it See's? Because I've heard they do that.

I bet if Tess got a job at See's she'd eat them out of business.

 

[yousoundlikeanasshole]

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Hopefully she is next on the fake nice takedown

 

[Cheesegirl78]

"Still, Holliday hasn't amassed the fandom of 'curve' models like Ashley Graham (who has a whopping 11 million followers on Instagram)..."

That sentence. That's why she hasn't shilled this article everywhere.
I've known people who worked in bakeries who ended up losing all cravings for cake, pastry, etc., just because they ate so much of that stuff in the first few months and got totally sick of it. And decades ago, one of my housemates worked for a well-known candy manufacturer who allowed their employees to eat all the candy they wanted while working the line. Nobody who had been there longer than about six weeks ever ate the damned candy, because they'd already eaten themselves sick at least once, and were constantly surrounded by all the sickeningly sweet smells of it.

As a bakery worker/cake decorator, I can agree with this.

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

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Ryann doing aheago-face...... I.... I need to lie down.

 

[Local Fed]

Ryann doing aheago-face...... I.... I need to lie down.

I think you need to cross your eyes for it to be the aheago face. More likely she's just trying to inhale a cake from across the room like she's Kirby or something.

 

[Water-T]

I think she keeps bringing up cake to lure in more fat fetish johns.

"Yeah, I totally love cake. Don't you want to see me eat cake naked? DM me if you want to make this happen. Checks and money orders will not be accepted. Cash only."

 

[LetThemEatCake]

"Still, Holliday hasn't amassed the fandom of 'curve' models like Ashley Graham (who has a whopping 11 million followers on Instagram)..."

That sentence. That's why she hasn't shilled this article everywhere.

100%. Indisputable!

I be Graham would be peeved to be mentioned in the same sentence as Tess, too. She's a very attractive woman who always fitted within the nomal conventions of the plus-size model in terms of height and measurements and has made a huge effort to slim down more to get more work. She is signed to IMG Models, a big agency. To be menttioned as within the same category as out of control, short, morbidly obese, trashy old Tess who was dropped by m.ILK and hasn't had representation since because she is utterly unprofessional and lies about her measurements, causing chaos on set, is quite the damn insult.

Graham is 5' 9" and weighs something under 200lb these days from what I gather. Her measurements are listed as 42 - 31.5 - 46. Tess could only dream of those measurements on her 5' 1" frame. She's in the 50s and 60s in all measurements these days and likely weighs nearly double what Graham does,

 

[White Baby]

100%. Indisputable!

I be Graham would be peeved to be mentioned in the same sentence as Tess, too. She's a very attractive woman who always fitted within the nomal conventions of the plus-size model in terms of height and measurements and has made a huge effort to slim down more to get more work. She is signed to IMG Models, a big agency. To be menttioned as within the same category as out of control, short, morbidly obese, trashy old Tess who was dropped by m.ILK and hasn't had representation since because she is utterly unprofessional and lies about her measurements, causing chaos on set, is quite the damn insult.

Graham is 5' 9" and weighs something under 200lb these days from what I gather. Her measurements are listed as 42 - 31.5 - 46. Tess could only dream of those measurements on her 5' 1" frame. She's in the 50s and 60s in all measurements these days and likely weighs nearly double what Graham does,

Graham at several dozen months pregnant looks like a vamp compared to Tess "my waist fupas are pockets of holding" Holliday.

 

[Nectarine]

Another riveting update from our favorite starving artist/feeder.

"my regular creative contract work has dried up" is such a lie, lmao. Bitch has been bagging groceries since the day he moved down under. I'm guessing the $21/hour is going directly towards weed, alcohol, and fat camgirls.

 

[JambledUpWords]

Another riveting update from our favorite starving artist/feeder.
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"my regular creative contract work has dried up" is such a lie, lmao. Bitch has been bagging groceries since the day he moved down under. I'm guessing the $21/hour is going directly towards weed, alcohol, and fat camgirls.

If you spend money wisely and create a savings, $21 an hour isn’t bad, especially if it’s full time. As you said, his spending habits mirror Tess’s. Both of them are pleasure seekers first and foremost.

 

[Pollybock]

$40k a year while living with your parents should be fine, NICK.

 

[Water-T]

Another riveting update from our favorite starving artist/feeder.
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"my regular creative contract work has dried up" is such a lie, lmao. Bitch has been bagging groceries since the day he moved down under. I'm guessing the $21/hour is going directly towards weed, alcohol, and fat camgirls.

"What little connections I had to celebrities has dried up now that I bailed on my D-list celeb wife and left America"

Gosh - who would have thought that dumping your one connection to famous people and moving away from LA would adversely affect your ability to sell junk to celebrities?

 

[IBrokeBob]

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Oh, that's hilarious. So now she is claiming she is being challenged or bullied about her gay claims AND she attempts to lecture us on how to be gay.

What a fucking idiot she is. Science tells us that the brain makes up about 2 percent of a normal humans weight. By looking at and listening to tess, we can conclusively conclude that her brain is likely only ,02%, and thats on a good day.

Try again tess, this woke gay shit ain't doing it. What's next? Autism? Or maybe you can claim "disabled" since you ate yourself into morbid obesity. Think of the headlines " Gay, disabled, autistic , superfat, superspeshul, supermodul screecheches and reees about discrimination."

 

[multiverse]

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Another fucking cake? What adult gets more than a cake per week for an entire month? How does this fit into your schmauncy hippy diet plan?

Also: when your necks are large enough to leave shadow on your chest that causes a neapolitan tan - you don't need any more fucking cake.

 

[Angry New Ager]

100%. Indisputable!

I be Graham would be peeved to be mentioned in the same sentence as Tess, too. She's a very attractive woman who always fitted within the nomal conventions of the plus-size model in terms of height and measurements and has made a huge effort to slim down more to get more work. She is signed to IMG Models, a big agency. To be menttioned as within the same category as out of control, short, morbidly obese, trashy old Tess who was dropped by m.ILK and hasn't had representation since because she is utterly unprofessional and lies about her measurements, causing chaos on set, is quite the damn insult.

Graham is 5' 9" and weighs something under 200lb these days from what I gather. Her measurements are listed as 42 - 31.5 - 46. Tess could only dream of those measurements on her 5' 1" frame. She's in the 50s and 60s in all measurements these days and likely weighs nearly double what Graham does,

Personally, I'm inclined to think that Ashley Graham wouldn't give two shits about being mentioned in the same sentence as Tess. She's been around long enough and is smart enough to know that dumb shit gets written about her all the time, but as long as it has no power to harm her career or personal reputation, it's just noise. She's tremendously successful, has a husband who still adores her after a decade together, a new baby, and she still gets magazine covers (she's on the cover of this month's Harper's Bazaar, and her husband took the photo). She's hosted a podcast (which seems to be on hiatus right now), seems bright and personable and down-to-earth, and it's pretty much guaranteed that she's still going to have a career of some sort even after her modeling days are over. Oh, and her chances of living long enough to see her infant son into adulthood (without his ever having to attend to her hygienic needs) are extremely good.

Tess Holliday doesn't even exist in the same universe as Ashley Graham (which the Vice article sort of hints at), and while Ashley Graham knows it, I'm sure she also knows the press is a fucking clown show that produces clown content. It's not even worth getting peeved at.

Another riveting update from our favorite starving artist/feeder.
View attachment 1480101
"my regular creative contract work has dried up" is such a lie, lmao. Bitch has been bagging groceries since the day he moved down under. I'm guessing the $21/hour is going directly towards weed, alcohol, and fat camgirls.

He's better also be sending child support to Tess for Bowie, if he knows what's good for him. He may have run away to Australia, but, as other Kiwis have pointed out in the past, the Australian government doesn't cover for deadbeat dads.

And "regular creative contract work"--LOL, Nick. What creative work is he even capable of doing? He's shit as a photographer, shit at Photoshop, shit at illustration, shit at graphic design, and seems to have no other creative skills, unless giving blowjobs to straight guys on the DL for extra weed money counts. He can't even hire himself out to let guys piss on him; there's already too many gay men willing to do that for free.