Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History

In VA, is auto insurance required?

I think Chris got 18 out of 20 on his drivers test.

Two people jumped out of the way.
Taking a driving test in VA isn’t like taking one in Jersey or New York; Chris has to drive 25 minutes from home to get to the nearest strip mall. There aren’t many tricky roads and the highway volume/density isn’t as bad compared to other states in the New England area. He probably had to retake it like 5-6 times but at that point it’s just remembering to turn your head as you drive and making complete stops at signs. A monkey could be trained to pass it, but comparing it to Chris would be an insult to primates.
 
Taking a driving test in VA isn’t like taking one in Jersey or New York; Chris has to drive 25 minutes from home to get to the nearest strip mall. There aren’t many tricky roads and the highway volume/density isn’t as bad compared to other states in the New England area. He probably had to retake it like 5-6 times but at that point it’s just remembering to turn your head as you drive and making complete stops at signs. A monkey could be trained to pass it, but comparing it to Chris would be an insult to primates.

and since he probably got it after he turned 18, he didn't have to get a learner's permit
 
Has Chris replied in any form to the latest episode? I really get feeling we are gonna get a brand new explanation why he had to mace the GS employee in the comments section or twitter, should be worth a laugh.

I really get the feeling the next episode is going to be all about Catherine / Al exploring the Chandler house of horrors, Chris picking a fight with "Colin" and fucking up his "chances" with "Catherine".
 
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Great work like always!

I like to think I’m a well oriented Christorian, but there’s always some stuff I didn’t know about.


It’s weird to listen to one of these episodes right after listening to one of the early episodes.

You can really tell his deterioration. He sounds slower and more childlike. It’s like watching someone get mentally retarded in front of your eyes.


Also, have your dogs shit and piss inside your house?! As if you’re living in a stable?!

There are people living in slums in third world shitholes who’d look at the Chandlers with disgust.

Jeeesus.

And funny thing btw: Almost every day I see people in their 70ies and 80ies walking their dogs. No wonder the Chandlers are local outcasts.
 
About six minutes in and we find out they just let their dogs piss and shit alllllll over the house because its easier than letting them outside.

I have been around lazy people. I have been around slovenly people. That takes the cake.

You just open the door. Doggie goes out. Doggie makes. Doggie comes back in. Its shit like this that makes me want to Dimensionally Merge my hand upside both of their empty heads.
 
About six minutes in and we find out they just let their dogs piss and shit alllllll over the house because its easier than letting them outside.

I have been around lazy people. I have been around slovenly people. That takes the cake.

You just open the door. Doggie goes out. Doggie makes. Doggie comes back in. Its shit like this that makes me want to Dimensionally Merge my hand upside both of their empty heads.
Chris can’t even handle a cat; Dogs are notoriously more needy.
 
About six minutes in and we find out they just let their dogs piss and shit alllllll over the house because its easier than letting them outside.

I have been around lazy people. I have been around slovenly people. That takes the cake.

You just open the door. Doggie goes out. Doggie makes. Doggie comes back in. Its shit like this that makes me want to Dimensionally Merge my hand upside both of their empty heads.


Ikr?! It just boggles the mind. Chris (aaalmost) has an excuse because he’s literally retarded and has the mindset of a child: “I want a doggie, but only the good parts, not the poop!”


But fucking Barb? Can’t take the dog for a walk? Can’t tell her failure of a son to take a 10 min break from his toys and do it? Can’t even open the door and let the dog walk itself?!

The best part is, that like a minute after this reveal, Chris and Barb starts to talk about how the “Westons are English royalty.”
 
Rewatching part 39 right now and I gotta say. Before the idea guys put the merge in his head, his obsession with being a teenager in high school again was simultaneously the saddest and creepiest saga in life. It's one thing to go through an old year book and reminisce but he populated the Lego HS with the Ninja turtles, the infomaniac from Lego island, kreeo transformers, god knows what else...huh guess that explains why it wasn't a stretch to go from the high school reliving saga to the merge saga. Damn at times he just sounds so sad like I almost feel sorry for him he put his sweat blood and tears...and definitely a lot of tears in to that Lego school.
 
"I, Christian Weston Chandler, of sound mind and body..."

Oh the irony. A man who had recently burned his house down trying to brew coffee in his bathroom, and gotten a piercing because of porn and bonobo monkeys. Love it.
What are you talking about? Being a boring, normal, working citizen is obviously the insane choice. Chris is clearly ahead of his time!
 
It's very interesting to see the Christory when I first joined. It was right around the 2015 era where the election stuff was ramping up and Chris' unclit started getting infected
 
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