Obscure Laughingstocks - Lolcows without substantial online presence.

[The Jumping Dwarf]

have you guys mentioned raysipeladygaga yet?
https://www.youtube.com/user/raysipeladygaga
he's this senior citizen who acts like everyday is Halloween and is making videos of him dancing/singing about dangan ronpa and tf2.

Oh boy! Ray Sipe! I love that man! He became quite popular on /v/ when he made a song about them and the admins plastered it on top of the board.

Apparently he used to be a police captain at one point, believe it or not.

http://kdminer.com/main.asp?SectionID=1&SubSectionID=1&ArticleID=40371&PollID=30&btnView=1

Yes! That's the guy!


Holy fucking hell I forgot how freakin creepy he was in these videos...

His Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/jayherrod

Dude apparently wants to run for president. It's too bad I'm not American, I'd vote for him in a heartbeat .

 

[marganagram]

Oh boy, this is the most fun! I am still making my way through this extremely eye-opening thread. Who knew?
Okay, I looked around pretty hard, but didn't see this guy mentioned, which doesn't mean he isn't here somewhere... but he is one strange puppy.

http://kotaku.com/bobs-game-one-of-the-strangest-stories-in-indie-gaming-1567032117
He even has his own Wikipedia article:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob's_Game

and Encyclopedia Dramatica entry. As a woman and lady, I really don't like going there because of the amazing amount of ewwwwww, for instance, I really wish they'd eliminate their ads, but they do always have the dirt on a person, don't they.
https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Bob's_Game


Meet Bob:

Now be careful, dear ones, learning all about Bob, and his game, "Bob's Game", will suck a couple of weeks out of your life if you let it.

 

[AnOminous]

Now be careful, dear ones, learning all about Bob, and his game, "Bob's Game", will suck a couple of weeks out of your life if you let it.

I hadn't even heard of this guy, but I love the idea of his protest. He would lock himself in his room for 100 days.

So as a protest, a basement-dwelling autist would continue to dwell in his basement.

 

[marganagram]

I hadn't even heard of this guy, but I love the idea of his protest. He would lock himself in his room for 100 days.

So as a protest, a basement-dwelling autist would continue to dwell in his basement.

Yeah, that'll show them.
He remind me a lot of Vasily Zotov (p. 26 of this thread) as in- "Is he crazy or a genius?", but without as much charm.

 

[Anus]

Looks like he's found out about Kiwi. HI GODOFDEATHMETAL.

https://archive.is/dC4hM

 

[chimpburgers]

This guy always struck me as odd to me. His Louis C.K. and Young Turks rants were really fucking bad and he seems to be ripping off Andy Kauffman majorly. I don't know if he still has those up. Hasn't posted in like six months though.

https://www.youtube.com/user/RodneyOhebsion/videos

 

[XYZpdq]

Oh boy, this is the most fun! I am still making my way through this extremely eye-opening thread. Who knew?
Okay, I looked around pretty hard, but didn't see this guy mentioned, which doesn't mean he isn't here somewhere... but he is one strange puppy.

http://kotaku.com/bobs-game-one-of-the-strangest-stories-in-indie-gaming-1567032117
He even has his own Wikipedia article:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob's_Game

and Encyclopedia Dramatica entry. As a woman and lady, I really don't like going there because of the amazing amount of ewwwwww, for instance, I really wish they'd eliminate their ads, but they do always have the dirt on a person, don't they.
https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Bob's_Game


Meet Bob:

Now be careful, dear ones, learning all about Bob, and his game, "Bob's Game", will suck a couple of weeks out of your life if you let it.

I think there's a thread in lolcows or video games about him and the game.

 

[KFC]

Oh boy, this is the most fun! I am still making my way through this extremely eye-opening thread. Who knew?
Okay, I looked around pretty hard, but didn't see this guy mentioned, which doesn't mean he isn't here somewhere... but he is one strange puppy.

http://kotaku.com/bobs-game-one-of-the-strangest-stories-in-indie-gaming-1567032117
He even has his own Wikipedia article:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob's_Game

and Encyclopedia Dramatica entry. As a woman and lady, I really don't like going there because of the amazing amount of ewwwwww, for instance, I really wish they'd eliminate their ads, but they do always have the dirt on a person, don't they.
https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Bob's_Game


Meet Bob:

Now be careful, dear ones, learning all about Bob, and his game, "Bob's Game", will suck a couple of weeks out of your life if you let it.

I remember that guy! He claimed that he was going to make his own handheld video game console, but never followed through. At first, I liked the idea of Bob's Game, but the creator is a dumb sperg who overreacted.

 

[marganagram]

I think there's a thread in lolcows or video games about him and the game.

AHAH!
Thanks, dcisp. Found it here using his name, Robert Pelloni.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/robert-pelloni-bobs-game-the-nd.886/
Its got some pretty hilarious comments, too.
Thanks again- off to read.

 

[Megahertz]

This post is going to be a bit long. I have spoilers in place to help.

Listening to an old episode of the F Plus totally reminded me about how weird Audiophiles are. (To those who don't know- Audiophiles are basically people who are obsessed with sound fidelity in music, and spend ridiculous amounts of money on "tweaking their gear" and expensive monitors, etc.) But there is one person who stands out a bit above the rest.
HIs name is Patrick82. He is a guy who lives in Sweden, is 33 years old as of now, and has very.... eccentric behavior and posting habits. He was banned from the Head-Fi forums (probably the largest headphone/gear/audphile forum around) in 2010 after mass-collecting user's emails to advertise. Allow these posts to speak for themselves:

Spoiler: the 10kg damping pebble

Allow me to preface: A "damping stone" is something that you are apparently supposed to place near your speakers to absorb excess frequencies and make things sound better? but Patrick82 had to go above and beyond with this idea. Here is an excerpt of a story where he went to Turkey and commissioned somebody to make him a damping stone that weighs ~20 lbs. I bolded my favorite parts.

Spoiler

Buying "the stone"

Then I entered a souvenier shop or something, there were many stones inside. Something deep inside me told me to buy a stone. So I looked around the store and saw a black stone made from Onyx, it drew my attention. Then the seller asked what size do you want. Then I said, as big as possible, if I buy something, I want it extreme! Then the seller said, "it isn't possible to make a stone this big from Onyx, it will crack!", so then he recommended Marmor instead, and I said, ok, let's do it. So he took my order and told me to come back next week to get it. The price was a million Lira, which was about $30 at that time.

So next week I got the ball, heavy as hell. The seller gave me a bag to carry it in, but it broke before I got to the bus station. A couple days later it was time to travel home.

Problem with airport security

I placed the stone ball inside my bag and was going to take it to the airplane with me instead of put it down at the luggage compartments. I placed the bag on the rubber rolling device and it went inside some kind of x-ray machine. I was waiting for my bag at the other end and then the machine suddenly stopped with my bag inside. Then I put my arm inside it and tried to pull out my bag but the friction was tight and I couldn't do it, but suddenly the machine worked again and the bag came out. When I stood up I saw airport security staring at me with mad faces. They yelled very loud "OPEN THE BAG!", I had wrapped the ball with my underwear to protect it and I didn't want to show them my dirty underwear. Then they took the bag and opened it themselves, they slid the underwear aside and saw the big round stone ball, then they left without saying anything. Then I sat down at the terminal and everyone were staring at me.

I don't remember the flight home because I blocked it from my memory because of embarrassment. The next thing I remember I was 100 meters from home and the straps of my bag broke and the bag fell to the ground. Lucky the stone didn't break. Finally I had the stone at home but I had no clue what to do with it, I rolled it on the floor and I didn't have any idea, so I put it inside my closet for the rest of my life. It was there 12 years doing nothing...until today!

Fate?

I put the Marmor stone at the rear of my P300 Power Plant and got fuller bass with more oomph! I get longer attack and decay and it sounds very full. It sounds dark with whiteness still on top. Less frequencies are emphasized because of mass damping with this Marmor stone!

Patrick is obsessed with altering everything about his lifestyle, sometimes even living in discomfort, for the sake of his audio system.

Spoiler

According to a user (I can't find the source) he has starved himself in order to be able to afford a $4000 audio cable. He has a youtube video of himself eating dandelions which is possibly connected to this.

Some bonus miscellany: Here are some pictures of him.
Here is a chat log (VERY long) between him and some random girl when he was trying to woo her with his extensive audio gear.
Here is him not knowing basic biology.
Even the other Head-Fi users have a thread dedicated to his best quotes.
Here is the cover video of his youtube channel. It's amazing.

I almost want to make a thread on this guy but I don't know if he is true lolcow material. He's still eccentric as hell either way. If you take a look at his posts, nearly every single one of them is amazing.

 

[voiceguy]

Just to show that the Florida crazies are not just in Miami (see Brad Watson thread), here's a breaking news story from Jacksonville FL about Geoff Gaylord, who confessed to murdering his imaginary friend Mr. Happy. Apparently besides being a slovenly drunk and drug addict, Mr. Happy also crashed Gaylord's car and let him get arrested for it.

A REMORSEFUL GEOFF GAYLORD POSES FOR HIS MUG SHOT AFTER MURDERING
HIS "BEST FRIEND".

Gaylord is demanding the death penalty for his heinous crime.

Just goes to show you can't always trust your friends, even the imaginary ones.

 

[Bugaboo]

Don't most people kill their imaginary friends at like age 6

 

[voiceguy]

My apologies, everyone. My daughter put me onto this story and it has turned out to be a hoax. I found it on mandatory.com, but if I had known it originated on moron.com I wouldn't have reported it.

 

[Scampers]

Audiophileguy.txt

Shame, because in most cases, there's no difference in quality in audio cables. Sure a $5 piece of crap is going to sound like tinny garbage, but generally speaking, a well manufactured cable will sound just like ones that are in the hundreds or thousands. Audiophiles can be disillusioned into thinking the quality is somehow better, this guy being a severe case. Too bad no one can scientifically prove it, because they could get $1 million dollars doing so.

While not a lolcow, there is lolcow potential here. Those posts are...wow.

 

[Randall Fragg]

I found this guy on youtube, TheSonic1685:
https://www.youtube.com/user/TheSonic1685/videos

https://www.youtube.com/user/TheSonic1685/videos

Twitter: https://twitter.com/josephsouthwood
A 2edgy Lets Player lolcalf who's obsessed with the 2005 War of The Worlds Movie, Minecraft, and Sonic the Hedgehog.

Spoiler: Sperging Out in Youtube over Reapers vs Tripods

Dusan Brdar 7 months ago
I prefer the Reaper sound, it's quite better when you hear it in middle of action. Btw, I see a lot of people arguing over tripods and reapers... The reapers would blow the martians back to their stone age. Average reaper destroyer is around 160 metters high and a Sovereign class reaper is 2 kilometers, and remember that in ME1 it took whole Alliance fifth fleet to take down one reaper (Sovereign), and they almost got owned...
Reply · 26

Hide replies

TheSonic1685 7 months ago
averge size tripod 31 stories 300 meters tall your svereeing class reaper is to big to function normally it is also a war of the worlds rip off
Reply ·


Ty Guy 7 months ago
+TheSonic1685 in what world is 1 story almost 10 meters? do you even know what a meter is?
Reply · 5


TheSonic1685 7 months ago
+Ty Guy you did the math I guest your reaper is probably shorter then the tripod the tripod is the hight of a 30 story building which is my point
Reply ·


Ty Guy 7 months ago
30 stories is 300 feet. 90ish meters that is a full 1910 meters short of the 2km long reaper
Reply · 4


TheSonic1685 6 months ago
+Ty Guy I was not compering it to your speciel master reaper rip off of indapenence day reapers or what the fuck ever
Reply ·




Sarge Rho 4 months ago
+TheSonic1685 Reaper destroyers are 160 meters tall, Tripods are 45-50 meters tall. Reaper destroyers are also armed with a form of particle beam cannon that shreds everything.
Reply ·


TheSonic1685 4 months ago
+Sarge Rho ever heard of the heat ray?
Reply · 1


Sarge Rho 4 months ago (edited)
+TheSonic1685 Yeah, it won't do a whole lot to a Reaper. Not before it gets a shot off, anyway. Reapers are over 3 times as big as Tripods, and made from materials that can withstand impacts from mass drivers that have the force of a small nuke. And that's just the Destroyers. The big ones are far more powerful.
Reply · 2


brawlerdude555 4 months ago
+TheSonic1685 By the time a Tripod is in range to use its heat ray, it would have already been obliterated.
Reply · 1



brawlerdude555 3 months ago
+Forscythe80 Just say you like the Tri-Pods and you'd hate to see them lose to the Reapers.
Reply · 1


TheSonic1685 3 months ago
+brawlerdude555 coming from the guy who can't type Tripod
Reply ·


brawlerdude555 3 months ago
+TheSonic1685 That's 2 eze
Reply ·


TheSonic1685 3 months ago
+brawlerdude555 eze?
Reply ·

 

[StateOfMind]

Spoiler: Sperging Out in Youtube over Reapers vs Tripods

Dusan Brdar 7 months ago
I prefer the Reaper sound, it's quite better when you hear it in middle of action. Btw, I see a lot of people arguing over tripods and reapers... The reapers would blow the martians back to their stone age. Average reaper destroyer is around 160 metters high and a Sovereign class reaper is 2 kilometers, and remember that in ME1 it took whole Alliance fifth fleet to take down one reaper (Sovereign), and they almost got owned...
Reply · 26

Hide replies

TheSonic1685 7 months ago
averge size tripod 31 stories 300 meters tall your svereeing class reaper is to big to function normally it is also a war of the worlds rip off
Reply ·


Ty Guy 7 months ago
+TheSonic1685 in what world is 1 story almost 10 meters? do you even know what a meter is?
Reply · 5


TheSonic1685 7 months ago
+Ty Guy you did the math I guest your reaper is probably shorter then the tripod the tripod is the hight of a 30 story building which is my point
Reply ·


Ty Guy 7 months ago
30 stories is 300 feet. 90ish meters that is a full 1910 meters short of the 2km long reaper
Reply · 4


TheSonic1685 6 months ago
+Ty Guy I was not compering it to your speciel master reaper rip off of indapenence day reapers or what the fuck ever
Reply ·




Sarge Rho 4 months ago
+TheSonic1685 Reaper destroyers are 160 meters tall, Tripods are 45-50 meters tall. Reaper destroyers are also armed with a form of particle beam cannon that shreds everything.
Reply ·


TheSonic1685 4 months ago
+Sarge Rho ever heard of the heat ray?
Reply · 1


Sarge Rho 4 months ago (edited)
+TheSonic1685 Yeah, it won't do a whole lot to a Reaper. Not before it gets a shot off, anyway. Reapers are over 3 times as big as Tripods, and made from materials that can withstand impacts from mass drivers that have the force of a small nuke. And that's just the Destroyers. The big ones are far more powerful.
Reply · 2


brawlerdude555 4 months ago
+TheSonic1685 By the time a Tripod is in range to use its heat ray, it would have already been obliterated.
Reply · 1



brawlerdude555 3 months ago
+Forscythe80 Just say you like the Tri-Pods and you'd hate to see them lose to the Reapers.
Reply · 1


TheSonic1685 3 months ago
+brawlerdude555 coming from the guy who can't type Tripod
Reply ·


brawlerdude555 3 months ago
+TheSonic1685 That's 2 eze
Reply ·


TheSonic1685 3 months ago
+brawlerdude555 eze?
Reply ·

A debate about a fictional movie. The 2005 WoWs movie.
I am done.

 

[Mrs Paul]

Hey, anyone remember Aria Star? (I looked and it doesn't seem that she was mentioned yet). She'd rip people off with her "sewing businesses", get caught, shut down the website, then open up a new site under another name. (Basically she showed projects that had been made by other people claiming SHE made them, and when people ordered from her, they either got really shitty things, or she never sent anything at all). Or she'd defraud people on ebay, and when she got banned she managed to come back with a new account. She also had god knows how many health issues, and would make up elaborate stories about her life. (Once she was dating someone whose daughter had been molested, by her mother's boyfriend, and they were fighting in court to get any visitation rights away from her mother or something like that). Oh, and she kept threatening to sue at the drop of a hat, for anything negative said about her.

Girlfriend was batshit.

(Note -- the Guinastasia mentioned in the article is me. That's my usual handle online.)

 

[Shadow Fox]

Apologies if this is in the wrong place. I think this guy was just a flash in the pan, one-off sort of nutjob (from ten years ago, no less), but he's pretty entertaining to read about.

To my knowledge he had no name that he officially went by, but a lot of people called him "Gunpoint Guest", due to the fact that he claimed to be a master of several martial arts whose sensei trained him by holding a gun to his head. He was an RPer who tried to join several MU*s (real-time text games) with what were, from all accounts, grossly overpowered characters. He was rejected from these games, which isn't the funny part. The hilarity comes from his insane overreactions to inferred slights, his batshit political/religious beliefs, and his OTT 5edgy8me tryhardism.

Spoiler: Some sample quotes

"I am only allowed to use my martial skills on mission or during training excersizes. My sensei told me if he caught me using them otherwise he'd cut off my hand."
"You didn't learn your arts by being tortured and beaten with them dustin. The katas I had to learn I had to learn with a gun pointed at my head. If I get them wrong I get shot."
"I hate the 'l33t' people, because although some of them do in fact have elite skills, they have the F'king maturity of a GD twelve year old and have no respect for anyone or anything that doesn't suck their ---- on contact."
"I live in a reality devoid of the concepts of christian morality and the weaknesses of social democracy and wellfair. The weak die and the strong live. That is reality. Reality is azathoth. It knows you exist it just doesn't give a shit. If you can't deal with that perception of reality you are weak."

There's a log here and another here recounting his exploits. I want to say there's a third that was on a messageboard somewhere, but I might be wrong.

 

[AnOminous]

"I live in a reality devoid of the concepts of christian morality and the weaknesses of social democracy and wellfair. The weak die and the strong live. That is reality. Reality is azathoth. It knows you exist it just doesn't give a shit. If you can't deal with that perception of reality you are weak."

Azathoth doesn't know anything. It is a blind idiot god devoid of any consciousness.

 

[PL 879]

To my knowledge, it all came to light with a single tumblr post...

http://catbountry.tumblr.com/post/49077546488/averyterrible-3liza-ohnoproblems

In short, he's a strange lonely closet(?) furry who made up his own imaginary anthropomorphic purple skunk girlfriend, seemingly after his real one dumped him over being "crazy." Not content to keep his newfound love all to himself, he brought this... 15 minute, autobiographical "film" into class- Filled with fade-to-black sex, pissing, fapping and more- and shared his lonely, disturbing fantasy with them- and then, thanks to a horrified classmate, all of tumblr.

The video in question:

I wonder what happened to this guy. Don't think he ever made another episode of "Mike and Melissa", and i can't say i've seen any trace of the dude outside of old tumblr posts and the occasional fanarts there.

I wonder if he still has the hat and t-shirt?