@asperhes Obviously I'm not saying you're wrong because at the end of the day I have no idea about any of this shit, but wierdly at the time I honestly interpreted all of what you said in almost the exact opposite way you did.
Chris has been thinking about a getting a sex-change operation since at LEAST 2008. He discussed taking hormones with Kacey in 2009. In this case it was male hormones, because at the time he was trying to cure his gender dysphoria by swinging the other way.
I never thought this had anything to do with wanting a sex change. Let's not forget that Chris is as bone idle as the day is long. He was self conscious about his manboobs and his tiny cock, and Chris, being a lazy fucker who will always look for the quick fix, hoped male hormones would fix both. Also he was accused of being gay on a daily basis by the trolls at that time, and being a homophobe he presumably felt that being more manly would be the best way to quell those rumours that he deemed slanderous.
Also let's remember he was trying to build Kacey into his sweetheart from the ground up at the time, and was, for the first time in his life, in direct competition with another specific male (not just a faceless 'jerk'), and so Chris was likely trying to make himself more appealing and 'manly' to seem like the better option.
Just a few weeks later he fell in love 4-ever with the sports bra. Even at this point I think he was convinced that in some sense he must be a woman, hence the desire for male hormones to crush his feminine feelings and put him in harmony with his God-given package.
Again I interpreted this in the opposite way. I think the sports bra was nothing more than another quick fix. Rather than exercise to reduce his mammaries Chris used the muscle bra to simply hold them down. Plus I remember he remarked that his tits made exercising uncomfortable because they jiggled, indicating a certain level of discomfort with them.
I think it's also worth mentioning that he tried to take quote-unquote medication to extend his penis, in addition to wanting to take male hormones. I dunno that just never seemed like what someone who was repulsed by their manhood would do.
Chris also explained to Kacey how chromosomes work--"women are XX, but men are both X and Y, which means I'm half man-half woman!" He was desperately grasping at a rational justification for his confused feelings. He wanted so much to be normal.
I always felt this was a clumsy way to ingratiate himself with kacey by implying he was in touch with his feminie side or some other such nonsense.
Notice also in his Future Message, he wants so much to convince you that stroking the hair of My Little Ponies is what manly men do in order to feel closer to the female objects of their desire. He is so terrified of becoming a homo, which, as I'm sure we all know, is the natural trajectory of a man who feels like a woman. He's just flailing.
The thing about that is it is very, very common for autistic people to have odd 'relationships' such as these with objects rather than with people (because with people come complicated emotions and nuance and other shit that autistic people simply don't get). Doing things like stroking hair is particularly common because it is a repeated, regular, familiar and sensory activity, which is like reaching nirvana for an autistic person.
Plus the thing he stroked was female of course, because anything else would make him a HOMO. I never read anything more into his hatred of da homos than he was just someone raised in a part of America famous (to this day) for it's intolerance of gay people because of it's age-old bigotry and backwards bible literalism. Not to mention the fact that he was 'raised' by a pair of elderly republicans with antiquated views to match, which they will have passed on to Chris.
I'm very happy to hear that his doctor knows about this stuff (...) it's OK to string him along with harmless "hormones" if it keeps the little girl happy.
If this is truly the attitude of Chris's doctor then I despair for America's healthcare.
