Biggest bullshit in a video game

[Bender]

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Nah, it's not bait. I tried to play OoT and MM but everything was just so clunky, especially the camera controls, and it was a miserable experience. I played the shit out of The Wind Waker HD and have my Midna/Wolf Link amiibo from the Twilight Princess HD release, which I also liked. Skyward Sword was terrible and I haven't got a Switch so I can't comment on BotW. I think that covers all the 3D games.

ETA: Oh, I guess I should mention I didn't play OoT/MM at the time of release, but about 15 years later.

 

[X-Shaped Weeaboo]

Pokemon Stadium is...very difficult if you play it using only Rental Pokemon. You have to squint really hard for good 'Mons with decent movesets and even then, the AI's Pokemon is always stronger than yours in Round 2. Nevertheless, I did in fact beat the game in a Rentals-Only playthrough.

I can't say the same for Pokemon Stadium 2 where I have had the (dis)honor of witnessing the most bullshit of bullshit I've put up with in a video game. Pokemon is a completely different beast when the AI doesn't have the same limitations placed upon you as a player, and I swear you will never ever feel more discouraged playing a video game than when you can correctly tell when the game is about to pass the bullshit your way turn after turn.

An example of this? The AI knows when a freeze chance will occur in their favor. How do I know this? Because a completely nonthreatening Marowak's Blizzard was used on the Rental Poliwrath I took to Pryce's gym. Every time it did this, my Pokemon was frozen. The game is allowed to know when things pan out in it's favor so much so that even abusing saved states the game is constantly making life miserable. (If you save state in the Challenge Cup, for example, unless you're at the roster selection screen specifically, then the Pokemon teams you fight each round are randomized every time.)

I gotta be honest though, still probably the best experience I've had with Pokemon in ages, even if I still haven't fully completed my Rentals-Only run.

 

[EmpGulcasa]

Randomly generated content. It's neat in a sandbox like Minecraft, but put it in something like a metroidvania like Chasm and it makes what could be a decent game a frustrating ordeal.

 

[Dumpster dived waifu]

Pokemon Stadium is...very difficult if you play it using only Rental Pokemon. You have to squint really hard for good 'Mons with decent movesets and even then, the AI's Pokemon is always stronger than yours in Round 2. Nevertheless, I did in fact beat the game in a Rentals-Only playthrough.

I can't say the same for Pokemon Stadium 2 where I have had the (dis)honor of witnessing the most bullshit of bullshit I've put up with in a video game. Pokemon is a completely different beast when the AI doesn't have the same limitations placed upon you as a player, and I swear you will never ever feel more discouraged playing a video game than when you can correctly tell when the game is about to pass the bullshit your way turn after turn.

An example of this? The AI knows when a freeze chance will occur in their favor. How do I know this? Because a completely nonthreatening Marowak's Blizzard was used on the Rental Poliwrath I took to Pryce's gym. Every time it did this, my Pokemon was frozen. The game is allowed to know when things pan out in it's favor so much so that even abusing saved states the game is constantly making life miserable. (If you save state in the Challenge Cup, for example, unless you're at the roster selection screen specifically, then the Pokemon teams you fight each round are randomized every time.)

I gotta be honest though, still probably the best experience I've had with Pokemon in ages, even if I still haven't fully completed my Rentals-Only run.

My pokemon: Multi-hit moves hit for the minimum number of hits, confused pokemon always hit themselves, sleeping pokemon stay asleep for the full 5 turns
Opponents pokemon: Multi-hit moves always hit 5 times, confused pokemon never hit themselves, sleeping pokemon wake up next turn.

The only saving grave the pokemon games have is the one time I used metronome, got fly and dodged a self-destruct. EAT SHIT AI.

 

[Ruin]

Borderlands 3, Circle of slaughter wave 5 three anointed spawn and I nuke them. A fourth anointed spawns behind me and oneshots me. Then it warps into the terrain, bugs out and gets stuck there so I can't get a second wind off it.

Why.jpg

 

[FuckedUp]

I'm going through Majora's Mask 3D and have mostly liked the changes to it

Wait, what changes? I only played the 3DS version. I own an N64 now, but never bothered playing the original OoT because I thought it was basically the same game with worse graphics and fewer equipment slots.

 

[Vault Boy]

Wait, what changes? I only played the 3DS version. I own an N64 now, but never bothered playing the original OoT because I thought it was basically the same game with worse graphics and fewer equipment slots.

Quality of life stuff like making owl statues permanent saves, Bomber notebook functionality, and intuitive maps.

There's also revamped boss fights (for better or worse...), fishing, better controls, and making Goron Link attack faster.

The ones I'm not a fan of are Zora Link's swimming and Deku Link's momentum while skipping.

Honestly, the better saving mechanics alone make me prefer the 3DS version, but I'm still pissed about Zora Link.

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

The Grabber in Doom 3's expansions must be one of the worst weapons to ever be put into an FPS. It's their version of the gravity gun, which was awesome and allowed for all manner of combat possibilities. In Doom 3 however, you experience the following:

1) stand still for several seconds waiting for an enemy to throw a projectile.
2) try and grab said projectile, which is small and travels in an arc making this far more difficult than it should be.
3) assuming you don't get hit, you now hold the projectile in the centre of the screen with a distortion effect, so you can't see where you're aiming.
4) throw the projectile back and likely miss
5) realise you could have emptied an entire magazine into the enemy in half the time.
6) try picking up and throwing a crate or barrel, which completely blocks the screen and due to the narrow corridors will likely just ricochet off an obstacle
7) put it away and never use it again.

 

[Considered HARMful]

Randomly generated content. It's neat in a sandbox like Minecraft, but put it in something like a metroidvania like Chasm and it makes what could be a decent game a frustrating ordeal.

Can you elaborate on that? I was thinking about buying Chasm and now you got me curious.

 

[Made In China]

Pokemon Stadium is...very difficult if you play it using only Rental Pokemon. You have to squint really hard for good 'Mons with decent movesets and even then, the AI's Pokemon is always stronger than yours in Round 2. Nevertheless, I did in fact beat the game in a Rentals-Only playthrough.

I can't say the same for Pokemon Stadium 2 where I have had the (dis)honor of witnessing the most bullshit of bullshit I've put up with in a video game. Pokemon is a completely different beast when the AI doesn't have the same limitations placed upon you as a player, and I swear you will never ever feel more discouraged playing a video game than when you can correctly tell when the game is about to pass the bullshit your way turn after turn.

An example of this? The AI knows when a freeze chance will occur in their favor. How do I know this? Because a completely nonthreatening Marowak's Blizzard was used on the Rental Poliwrath I took to Pryce's gym. Every time it did this, my Pokemon was frozen. The game is allowed to know when things pan out in it's favor so much so that even abusing saved states the game is constantly making life miserable. (If you save state in the Challenge Cup, for example, unless you're at the roster selection screen specifically, then the Pokemon teams you fight each round are randomized every time.)

I gotta be honest though, still probably the best experience I've had with Pokemon in ages, even if I still haven't fully completed my Rentals-Only run.

Git gud, there's a guy who can beat the entire game in only 20 hours using rentals.

 

[EmpGulcasa]

Can you elaborate on that? I was thinking about buying Chasm and now you got me curious.

It's basically a metroidvania where the layout of the dungeon is generated by a seed like Minecraft. Important stuff is generally found in the same order and similar shaped rooms, but the RNG can lead to massive stretches without save points or shortcuts, and the amount of backtracking gets to be absurd if you get unlucky and your seed decides to make the dungeon super horizontal. I was chugging through it and made it to the second to last biome when I lost 45 minutes of progress because the game decided not to place a save or shortcut anywhere in it that whole time and it's full of irritating jumping puzzles, and there was no way I was redoing all of that.

I'm generally not a platformer guy, but I cleared all of Hollow Knight aside from the last pantheon so I'm not exactly garbage, and I just found the whole experience dull and irritating outside of the appealing pixel art aesthetic.

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

Honestly, the better saving mechanics alone make me prefer the 3DS version, but I'm still pissed about Zora Link.

I don't mind that they made the owl statues permanent save points (that kind of thing works better on handheld), but what I hate is that the Song of Time no longer saves your game, which is bullshit. The nice thing about that in the original is that it offered a clean start; as soon as you boot up, you have 3 whole days to do what you need to do. The first few times I played the 3DS version, I kept turning off the game after playing the Song of Time without realizing it no longer saves the game. It's such a confusing change because it was one of the central mechanics of the original so it was hardwired into my brain that the Song of Time saved your game. I got used to it, but frankly I'd rather the game had both the owl statues and the Song of Time save your game.

The Zora Link stuff sucks too because it's a huge downgrade from how the original worked. I think what they were trying to do is make him easier to control in tight spaces, but it wasn't worth neutering him if you ask me.

 

[Vault Boy]

The Zora Link stuff sucks too because it's a huge downgrade from how the original worked. I think what they were trying to do is make him easier to control in tight spaces, but it wasn't worth neutering him if you ask me.

Then that was miserable failure as I didn't have an easier time swimming in the Great Bay Temple or the beaver race. I'm honestly a little disgusted by how badly Nintendo dropped the ball with Zora Link, he's easily the worst transformation mask and I don't want to play as him unless I'm forced to.

I don't even hate the remaster, it's a solid improvement in key areas, but holy shit does he stick out like a sore thumb.

 

[FuckedUp]

Wait fuck, somehow misread "Majora's Mask" as "Ocarina of Time" even with the mention of Zora Link. Did they change anything other than graphics and item slots in the 3DS version of OoT? I did actually play the N64 version of Majora's Mask because I owned one by then.

 

[Meat Target]

Snipers and Spies in TF2 are the scum of the earth. Snipers more so, because a significant number of them are script kiddies. At least with spies, I know I got backstabbed fair and square.

If you see someone making very graphic death threats toward sniper mains in the chat, it might be me.

 

[Vault Boy]

Wait fuck, somehow misread "Majora's Mask" as "Ocarina of Time" even with the mention of Zora Link. Did they change anything other than graphics and item slots in the 3DS version of OoT? I did actually play the N64 version of Majora's Mask because I owned one by then.

No, that one was more or less faithful to the original outside of quality of life changes and an added boss rush mode.

For better and worse, Majora's Mask was the one that received the most changes and tweaks.

 

[Ruin]

I really really really hate that thing that happens in horror games and FPS shooters where melee enemies run right the fuck up in your face and whale on you while the camera spazzes out so badly there's fuck all you can do to stop them.

 

[SIGSEGV]

Snipers and Spies in TF2 are the scum of the earth. Snipers more so, because a significant number of them are script kiddies. At least with spies, I know I got backstabbed fair and square.

If you see someone making very graphic death threats toward sniper mains in the chat, it might be me.

Mad because bad.

 

[Broken Clock]

Fuck, that scene where it's revealed the Illusive Man set you up in the Collector ship would have been a great sequence where the story diverged and allowed you to break off from Cerberus, but the worst you can do is yell at the Illusive Man.

What ME2 desperately needed was some sort of faction system like Witcher 2 or Fallout: New Vegas, where you could either stay with Cerberus or go back to the Alliance. At the very least, there should have been some player choice involved.

I don't know about you, but when total badass galactic special forces-tier operators find out they've been set up, I expect them to be more than a little annoyed. That's all we had the choice to be, was mildly annoyed. The "Shepard is indoctrinated" or "Miranda is lying, Shepard has a mind control chip" fan theories make too much sense. Speaking of factions, remember how the mercenary groups, and therefore Omega, really didn't matter that much despite having far more setting-logic for impacting the galaxy than Cerberus? ME's greatest sins are all about wasted potential and writer's pets.

 

[Bender]

Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams. There's a place you have to fight through 100 floors of enemies without dying and zero save points or checkpoints, and it was all going well, about level 85-90. However, I played with my legs crossed, and my leg starting going numb, so I adjusted my seating position, and the my leg that was meant to drop straight to the floor kicked the fucking reset button on my PS2. That left me slightly perturbed.

@OneHandClapping share my pain.