Diseased Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

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Or you can ask him politely to stop? I mean, most people aren't trying to aquire a piece of your ass, they might just be daydreaming and their eyes happen to be looking in your direction.
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Why do you want to kiss an ancient forest entity AND marry the moon? Slut.
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What do you mean "all these" why are so many people cursing your family?!
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Did she have a child just to "raise a warrior against the patriarchy"? I feel bad for the kid.
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I'm pretty sure trueing isn't a real word. Correct me if I'm wrong.
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This sounds like the start of a horror movie.
 
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fuzzyrodent85 said:
Is there any scientific evidence that this shit works? Genuinely curious.
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That...crystals have magical powers? No for the obvious reasons. They could potentially have a placebo effect. For that list "calming nerves" and "curing homesickness" might kinda work simply due to that.

Cereal Killer said:
The video definitely was, but I seem to recall reading an interview with him where he said he wrote it after a nasty breakup with a girlfriend
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Maybe the nasty breakup was because she caught him having sex with a dude?
 
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fuzzyrodent85 said:
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You're a witch. Just cast a money spell.
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Lazy fuckers can't even do that much. It'd be super-easy to set up a tarot-reading fivrr or something, and "do a spell" to help get clients, but that takes effort.

fuzzyrodent85 said:
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Well, I have a theory that the moon is a psychiatrist and thinks you should be taking meds.
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Actually the moon has no sex or gender because it's actually a giant soul-catcher designed to capture our souls upon death and return them to this planet so that we are unable to ascend and escape the cycle of death and rebirth. Trapped forever by the mechanations of ancient intelligences which designed humans to be their servants on this planet in most ancient times by bioengineering hominids.

fuzzyrodent85 said:
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Why did you need to write this four times?
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To convince herself it was actually a GOOD thing that she caught her bedroom on fire. It was cleansing.
 
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So you "honor" her, someone who was killed for doing something she didn't do, by doing that exact thing--thus tacitly agreeing with Bishop's killers that she did said thing, thus unwittingly admitting she deserved it.

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Figure this one out without having an aneurysm.

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He half of one, half the other. He's like a spiritual hapa.
I almost felt bad for this one until I realized their life and problems would be quickly improved by just stopping the stupid. Put your Sonic the Hedgehog spell notebook down, have a walk and start communicating with people who won't make you retarded.

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Just Do it ™

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I really like that one disclaimer:
"Only use this spell if you fit the profile they are looking for," and "This magic spell won't magically get you a job."
Even she knows it's nonsense.

fuzzyrodent85 said:
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No, it doesn't.
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Watch, you'll see. They'll prove you wrong and that their "forest fertility" spells actually work. Just remember to man-up and apologize to them directly once you see two trees rutting together and a great oak with a pregnant belly.

draculasestateagent said:
If all these bullshit environmental spells are so good why are we still being told the earth is going to shit?
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That's what people have been asking Al Gore and Bill Gates for decades, but honestly it's probably not working because these environmentally conscious witches don't have enough power. Gotta beseech the gods with more sacrifices of moldy chicken and leftovers.
 
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fuzzyrodent85 said:
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Why do they want to make someone feel unloved? These people are so bitter.
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even witchlarpers are ignoring that whole pagan "rule of three" thing. If this actually worked, hope you enjoy "the powers that be" condemning you to a life of suicidal misery.
 
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