DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[gh0stzero]

DSP often says on stream he doesn't "have time" to maintain friendships, and mentioned before that he tried to include his friends in his content so he could spend time with them. That kind of ridiculously selfish attitude is why he doesn't have any anymore.

Translation: He can't monetise having friends like he used to.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

Translation: He can't monetise having friends like he used to.

Exactly. He either doesn't know, or doesn't care, that normal people don't want their personal interactions to all be recorded, or to be used like that, especially if that's the only reason in which the person inviting them over is interested in doing so.

 

[Nurse Ratchet]

(*This post is from several days ago; I guess I forgot to hit "Post". Probably should just be grateful for that & peacefully sunset the fucker, but.... Nahhh fuck it. I love jigsaw puzzles & rainbows.)

But he did fap live on stream just a few years ago.

Uhhhm.. That depends on which retcon your stick of trooth hits when you chuck it in any DSP direction.

Also, that video angle stopped just north of his boytits, thank fuck. No proof. Therefore, DEBUNK'D. And now, ur b&. Fuckin pleb.

As to the rest of your thoughts on this horrific rabbit hole of conversation that I & some others veered off into, I'll just say that I genuinely respect the fuck out of your counterpoints & opinion, but nope. As I said, this is one area of speculation about this douchebag that, to me, ain't even up for actual debate. I figured everything out, & I'm wun-hundridd percent correct.

The only fucking thing that can & does produce the kind of impotent (I'm sorry), wholly ineffectual, & terminally fucking hilarious (until they go highscore a preschool or something) supernova of abject tardfail rage with which Philbert burns so bright & so fucking hard that it could probably provide a viable alternative to Planet Earth's ever-dwindling reserves of fossil fuels (lol except he's too much of a shrieking boybrat to share his toys with anyone else, so he'd say no) is some kind of rampant & well-founded insecurity... over dick stuff. +205XP if also wrestling with the active suppression of homosexual urges. Which, that's still dick stuff, refer to #1.

And if that makes me one of the flat-earther equivalents in the DSP Farm Equipment Psychosphere of Critical Thoughts & Assertions, I'm cool with that.

I'm just glad that to know/believe with equal conviction that Royal Prince Loveseat of House Agoraphobe also lacks the mental/physical acuity, non-grocery motivated upward mobility, & access to firearms (--I also have grave doubts that he would know you must buy & load gun with thing called "ammunition" to make shooty thing shoot because hulk-smashing controllers & screaming blame-shifts & hissing swear words at it won't make it go ka-boomz.) to ever be concerned that he'd go on some gory rampage of micropenis-related murder. Which, in his mind, wouldn't be an act of impropriety, but merely another instance of crowdsourcing to make his private prahblums everyone else's responsibilty to sahlve.

But I've gone slightly afield, I'm being fucking ridiculous now & I apologize. If he ever did show up to shoot up a preschool, he'd just bunker down in a bathroom stall anyway until he was confident that the most formidable of his tiny contemporaries had polished each other off. Then, and only then, would he emerge to claim his valor & his lunch box.

And then the janitor would kick him apart & call the cops. Bugged IRL netcode. Nothing he could do.

 

[Fapcop]

(*This post is from several days ago; I guess I forgot to hit "Post". Probably should just be grateful for that & peacefully sunset the fucker, but.... Nahhh fuck it. I love jigsaw puzzles & rainbows.)



Uhhhm.. That depends on which retcon your stick of trooth hits when you chuck it in any DSP direction.

Also, that video angle stopped just north of his boytits, thank fuck. No proof. Therefore, DEBUNK'D. And now, ur b&. Fuckin pleb.

As to the rest of your thoughts on this horrific rabbit hole of conversation that I & some others veered off into, I'll just say that I genuinely respect the fuck out of your counterpoints & opinion, but nope. As I said, this is one area of speculation about this douchebag that, to me, ain't even up for actual debate. I figured everything out, & I'm wun-hundridd percent correct.

The only fucking thing that can & does produce the kind of impotent (I'm sorry), wholly ineffectual, & terminally fucking hilarious (until they go highscore a preschool or something) supernova of abject tardfail rage with which Philbert burns so bright & so fucking hard that it could probably provide a viable alternative to Planet Earth's ever-dwindling reserves of fossil fuels (lol except he's too much of a shrieking boybrat to share his toys with anyone else, so he'd say no) is some kind of rampant & well-founded insecurity... over dick stuff. +205XP if also wrestling with the active suppression of homosexual urges. Which, that's still dick stuff, refer to #1.

And if that makes me one of the flat-earther equivalents in the DSP Farm Equipment Psychosphere of Critical Thoughts & Assertions, I'm cool with that.

I'm just glad that to know/believe with equal conviction that Royal Prince Loveseat of House Agoraphobe also lacks the mental/physical acuity, non-grocery motivated upward mobility, & access to firearms (--I also have grave doubts that he would know you must buy & load gun with thing called "ammunition" to make shooty thing shoot because hulk-smashing controllers & screaming blame-shifts & hissing swear words at it won't make it go ka-boomz.) to ever be concerned that he'd go on some gory rampage of micropenis-related murder. Which, in his mind, wouldn't be an act of impropriety, but merely another instance of crowdsourcing to make his private prahblums everyone else's responsibilty to sahlve.

But I've gone slightly afield, I'm being fucking ridiculous now & I apologize. If he ever did show up to shoot up a preschool, he'd just bunker down in a bathroom stall anyway until he was confident that the most formidable of his tiny contemporaries had polished each other off. Then, and only then, would he emerge to claim his valor & his lunch box.

And then the janitor would kick him apart & call the cops. Bugged IRL netcode. Nothing he could do.

Not that it’s any of my business, but are you on cocaine or heavy duty amphetamines, good sir?

 

[Nurse Ratchet]

Not that it’s any of my business, but are you on cocaine or heavy duty amphetamines, good sir?

God I wish I had a valid excuse for it.. But nope. Sober & slightly retarded. Nice to meet you.

 

[Zeelpulp]

Not that it’s any of my business, but are you on cocaine or heavy duty amphetamines, good sir?

Either way you answer that is cool with me, just promise me an autobiography spree that covers all the farms best personalities before you calm/come down

 

[Anime Waifu NFT collector]

DSP often says on stream he doesn't "have time" to maintain friendships, and mentioned before that he tried to include his friends in his content so he could spend time with them. That kind of ridiculously selfish attitude is why he doesn't have any anymore.

The idea of Phil working 14 hours a day 7 times a week is one of my favorite memes,he literally does nothing all day,no hobbies,familly or responsibilities,he works 6 hours a day divided in two streams,takes several breaks and ends streams early all the time yet he claims to work 70 hours a week lmao. Sometimes Phil lies make me angry but then I remember that only mentally disabled people fall for it.

 

[Croppered]

The match ends with Phil screaming about how his "fireball didn't come out twice in a row" and if you pause the video at 3m52s to 3m55s you can clearly see that twice in a row he pressed: Down, Forward, Attack and on both attempts he completely skips pressing Down-Forward.

Street Fighter also has this quirk (at least with SFIV and V) where Shoryukens have a shortcut input. Instead of pressing F, D, DF + P, you can press F, D, F + P, or DF, F, DF + P. The game probably involved this shortcut somehow in terms of Phil's error. The thing is, part of learning Street Fighter and fighting games involves "sounding out" the move that you want to do, so if you're trying to just fumble, the game is going to act on what it thinks you're doing.

 

[Martys_not_smarty]

Street Fighter also has this quirk (at least with SFIV and V) where Shoryukens have a shortcut input. Instead of pressing F, D, DF + P, you can press F, D, F + P, or DF, F, DF + P. The game probably involved this shortcut somehow in terms of Phil's error. The thing is, part of learning Street Fighter and fighting games involves "sounding out" the move that you want to do, so if you're trying to just fumble, the game is going to act on what it thinks you're doing.

Same with anything involving a 360 degree rotation, I remember seeing players guides that would say yeah you don't have to do that anything between 270 to 360 degrees will work depending on if you're on the ground or jumping.

 

[Draza]

The idea of Phil working 14 hours a day 7 times a week is one of my favorite memes,he literally does nothing all day,no hobbies,familly or responsibilities,he works 6 hours a day divided in two streams,takes several breaks and ends streams early all the time yet he claims to work 70 hours a week lmao. Sometimes Phil lies make me angry but then I remember that only mentally disabled people fall for it.

Playing video games poorly and e-begging six hours a day is not "working". He's simply unemployed.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

If you call playing video games poorly and e-begging six hours a day is not "working". He's simply unemployed.

I find it way sadder what he apparently spends his non-streaming time with. The guy just has no passion in anything, except maybe watching wrestling, which he can't even monetize because he's both stupidly afraid of being made fun of and incapable of an opinion worth taking seriously.

 

[Shambler]

I have a small amount of hope that Phil will pick up the Riot fighting game when it comes out, mostly because he'll see it as easy pickings for all the LoL kiddies who've never played a fighting game before.

If there's one fighting game that's going to rip the genre away from being repellent to a larger audience, it'll be that one. But I highly doubt we'll see the Gout Lord debase himself with something actually popular.

honestly if its anything like valorant, those new players will literally be bottom of the barrel Iron Tier players, this would actually be a good time for phil to ride high for at least a week

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

I find it way sadder what he apparently spends his non-streaming time with. The guy just has no passion in anything, except maybe watching wrestling, which he can't even monetize because he's both stupidly afraid of being made fun of and incapable of an opinion worth taking seriously.

Phil does have a passion. His true love is eating.

Take for example his wedding explanation stream. He spends more time talking about how great the meal he ate at Vinny's Pizza than he spends talking about Kat or the ceremony or anything else.

Phil loves to eat. He hates to cook. Therefore he really loves going out for fast food or to a sit down restaurant. Wings trolls ask him a meme Wendy's chili question. Phil will then say he doesn't like the chili and never eats at Wendy's, yet he will describe exactly what classic menu items they have, what new limited time items, what sides he likes best, what sauces they have, etc.

He said his dream was to make enough money on YouTube where he could open his own restaurant. Phil loved doing DSP Tries It, but too many people made fun of him and he also got gout. He also gave some bullshit excuses that it takes too much time to film and the food would get cold or he can't do them anymore because he can't show his house. This is obviously not true because he has done two DSP Tries It reviews in his office.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

honestly if its anything like valorant, those new players will literally be bottom of the barrel Iron Tier players, this would actually be a good time for phil to ride high for at least a week

A week if he's lucky.

What's sad is that, at one point in time, Phil did have some skill at Street Fighter, but like everything else in his life, that modicum of talent was brutally murdered by his inability to advance, to improve. I've seen players like that, people who are stubborn and/or not paying enough attention to the way things are changing around them, but Phil really takes the cake compared to them, because his entire life has been victimized by that stubbornness.

@Sparkletor 2.0 I don't know if I can really count that as a "passion" of his, on account of the "hates cooking" part. I mean I just can't take anyone seriously when they express a love for food but also a hatred of cooking. Nor can I take it seriously when someone claims they want to open a restaurant but the only recipe they know is for disgusting sugar sauce. I mean who does Phil thinking he's kidding, right? It's as much of a joke as him working for Boeing after a decade of sweating into a couch and making an ass of himself in front of the internet.

 

[L.I.M.B. Commander]

He said his dream was to make enough money on YouTube where he could open his own restaurant.

Yeaaaaaaa I don't trust a man who barely bathes to be around food of any kind. Not to mention a person who has horrible social skills trying to recruit anybody for said restaurant and the financials that go into it is very questionable from a idiot who misappropriate funds daily. Don't even get me started on the fact that he can't cook not a damn thing. I would love to see that restaurant open, fail and close in a year or less.

 

[Balr0g]

Yeaaaaaaa I don't trust a man who barely bathes to be around food of any kind. Not to mention a person who has horrible social skills trying to recruit anybody for said restaurant and the financials that go into it is very questionable from a idiot who misappropriate funds daily. Don't even get me started on the fact that he can't cook not a damn thing. I would love to see that restaurant open, fail and close in a year or less.

The sons of Kojima joked that we all should donate so Phil can open a restaurant and then send Gordon Ramsy to Phil's restaurant and enjoy the show. "Your gameplay it's fucking RAWWW!!!"

 

[Pargon]

I've been watching some videos of Phil getting his ass kicked in various fighting games lately and I watched this one that starts with a match where Phil's inputs are exposed. The match ends with Phil screaming about how his "fireball didn't come out twice in a row" and if you pause the video at 3m52s to 3m55s you can clearly see that twice in a row he pressed: Down, Forward, Attack and on both attempts he completely skips pressing Down-Forward.
I think it's just a little mind-numbing for me after a while hearing Phil continuously shouting "IT DROPPED MY INPUTS!", "I didn't do that! I'M NOT DOING THAT!", "I'M BLOCKING", and of course "CAN'T BLOCK!" For some reason I tend to assume he's just lying and pushed the wrong thing or tapped an input at the last second but is aware of how he fucked up and is lying about it. It makes the videos funnier for me having this reminder that Phil is so terrible at video games he can't even press the right direction consistently on a game he has been playing for 15+ years and he has no idea all his failures are because he's executing button presses incorrectly. He can't do a fucking Hadouken consistently. Every time he screams "That was 'Super'", No, it wasn't Phil, because you are dogshit at video games.
Timestamped @ 3m50s

His inputs have always been fucked. Watch any of his online DBFZ videos. You will hear the announcer yelling "Counter!" constantly, and each time you'll hear him complaining that whatever he's trying to do isn't coming out. That's because he's coming out of block stance and starting inputs mid-combo not knowing when it's safe for him to do so and getting his shit pushed in for it. He's trying to play an unfamiliar, faster-paced-than-average fighting game and it's like a monkey trying to assemble a three-stage rocket. This was why he hated that game so much; he tried to adjust to the rushdown style of play that game encourages and his old dog brain was not having any of it. In a way that made his chief criticism valid; it is a bad game. For him.

 

[Nurse Ratchet]

Yeaaaaaaa I don't trust a man who barely bathes to be around food of any kind.

Food?? Omg. You can go ahead & take his anti-hygeine out of the equation. I wouldn't even trust that absolute unit to operate a can opener.

 

[Forbidden Math]

Food?? Omg. You can go ahead & take his anti-hygeine out of the equation. I wouldn't even trust that absolute unit to operate a can opener.

I could just see him using a weak grip on the handles and it not piercing the can so he thinks it's broken. Great design Kojima.

 

[SojiroSakura]

Speaking of fighting games, remember Marvel Infinite? The entire time he cried so much about how it's "not a real fighting game" and "for babies". Well phil, if it's built for a more casual audience and designed to allow newcomers to learn easier, how come you're not taking advantage of that? If it's easier to play that anyone can win, why are you struggling so much? Shouldn't you, the 4th place ST guy be the best player?

Edit: I think it's also the pinnacle of how his mind works during fighting games, too. He goes into training with 1 or 2 characters, learns the first safe combo and only does that for the entire time he plays. Anything else that happens on screen he freaks out.