Cultcow EvaXephon / Yanderedev / Alex Mahan / Alexander Stuart Mahan / cannotgoogleme - Edgy weeaboo coomer with pedo tendencies and 15+ years internet history as a lolcow, now known as a disaster developer behind eternal debug build called "Yandere Simulator", confirmed groomer and dollfucker

[Random Internet Person]

View attachment 1532893
Coincidence? What else-if is he hiding?

That's just lighting.

 

[Audioponics🎵⛲]

That's just lighting.

It's also a joke. A lol from a lol cow if you can imagine.

 

[York]

I'm not Russian, but I ran the article through several different translators to put together a decent English translation for reference. Of course it's not perfect, but it's as readable as I could make it. (If there are any people here who are fluent, you can PM me fixes and I'll revise)

https://rentry.co/nfc5k

 

[Kabuki Actor]

It's also a joke. A lol from a lol cow if you can imagine.

It's not funny until he vehemently suppresses it.

 

[Catgirls are Love]

Well, with the state of California going up in flames again Alex has yet another excuse to avoid doing any work due to several fires in his general vicinity. Sure, they're not going to be a threat to him but I wouldn't be surprised if a several week "delay" was announced sometime soonish.

 

[ｃｈｌｏｒｉｎｅ]

I've picked up quite a few favorite quotes from the amalgamated English translation of the Russian article that I'd like to share with you guys.

Yandere Simulator is one of those projects which is more interesting to talk about than to play.

This quote right here accurately sums up why Alex even has a Kiwi Farms thread to begin with (besides him just being his lazy weeb coomer self). Because Alex and his shitty game are so intricately-woven together, it's difficult to discuss only one of them without bringing up the other. It's like trying to talk about Ren and Stimpy without bringing up John Kricfalusi or trying to talk about Sonichu without bringing up Chris Chan. It's inevitable that during any sort of discussion of YanSim, someone here will bring up Alex (or vice versa).

Probably the main reason why fans leave Alex is his inability to accept criticism - in any form. Even if your words are objectively true, you'll be called a liar, a scoundrel, and not competent enough to criticize. There are too many examples of this, so it's easier to list the consequences.

I just love how the author outright says that there's too many examples of Alex being a dick when it comes to accepting criticism. It really says something about his overall character when an outsider of Alex and his game feels the exact same way that we do about him being a sensitive baby whenever he sees anyone say anything remotely negative about YanSim.

A few years ago, a man with the nickname "cannotgoogleme" posted a photo of his sex doll on one of the related forums "for adults". It's noteworthy that the author of the post called her Mai Waifu, and in Yandere Simulator there was a character with the same name and (oh, what a coincidence) hair color. Moreover, after a while there was another post from him, in which the same doll was dressed in the costume of Samus Aran, the main character of the Metroid series, which Alex simply adores.

This quote, along with a few other parts of the article, makes me almost certain that the author of this article used this very thread (or other sources that cited it) as a resource for writing it. Unless this knowledge of Alex having an account on a sex doll forum quickly spread outside of the farms, the possibility of this thread being used as a source is highly likely in my opinion because a fellow kiwi was the one who initially found out about "cannotgoogleme"'s existence.

YandereDev is not just a lazy developer who doesn't code well and doesn't know how to communicate with his audience, but also a malicious manipulator who does not tolerate competition, and will try to eliminate opponents by any possible means.

Add in a few other things (like his various perversions, his disdain for his parents, his hatred for Mike Z after he trashed Lunar Scythe, etc.) and we've got a basic summary of this thread.

One of the best quotes, however, is definitely this one:

As for Yandere Simulator itself, you'll hardly have any hopes for its completion after reading this. The game is no longer a game anymore, and is now only a way to siphon money out of naive people.

I wholeheartedly agree with this statement. Like what purpose John Kricfalusi's Cans Without Labels cartoon served, YanSim at this point in time exists as a means to an end for Alex: a scam. Every time that Alex has to "mysteriously" delay the development of his game, more of his fanbase's money is pocketed from them on a monthly basis to go towards his tugboat. The fact that so little of his young fanbase has realised Alex's true intentions is almost humorous at this point. He's just going to keep up his grifting until enough of his fans realise they're being duped...which will likely never happen (at least, not for a long time) at this point.

Out of all of the articles I've read about Alex and YanSim, this is definitely the best one. I really hope that more articles like this one are written in the future because not only does it accurately sum up why Alex is a lolcow and how flawed his game is, but there's also a lot of humor throughout it. Let this article be an example for future articles written about Alex and his vaporware...

 

[Chariot Of Mara]

I've picked up quite a few favorite quotes from the amalgamated English translation of the Russian article that I'd like to share with you guys.


This quote right here accurately sums up why Alex even has a Kiwi Farms thread to begin with (besides him just being his lazy weeb coomer self). Because Alex and his shitty game are so intricately-woven together, it's difficult to discuss only one of them without bringing up the other. It's like trying to talk about Ren and Stimpy without bringing up John Kricfalusi or trying to talk about Sonichu without bringing up Chris Chan. It's inevitable that during any sort of discussion of YanSim, someone here will bring up Alex (or vice versa).


I just love how the author outright says that there's too many examples of Alex being a dick when it comes to accepting criticism. It really says something about his overall character when an outsider of Alex and his game feels the exact same way that we do about him being a sensitive baby whenever he sees anyone say anything remotely negative about YanSim.


This quote, along with a few other parts of the article, makes me almost certain that the author of this article used this very thread (or other sources that cited it) as a resource for writing it. Unless this knowledge of Alex having an account on a sex doll forum quickly spread outside of the farms, the possibility of this thread being used as a source is highly likely in my opinion because a fellow kiwi was the one who initially found out about "cannotgoogleme"'s existence.


Add in a few other things (like his various perversions, his disdain for his parents, his hatred for Mike Z after he trashed Lunar Scythe, etc.) and we've got a basic summary of this thread.

One of the best quotes, however, is definitely this one:

I wholeheartedly agree with this statement. Like what purpose John Kricfalusi's Cans Without Labels cartoon served, YanSim at this point in time exists as a means to an end for Alex: a scam. Every time that Alex has to "mysteriously" delay the development of his game, more of his fanbase's money is pocketed from them on a monthly basis to go towards his tugboat. The fact that so little of his young fanbase has realised Alex's true intentions is almost humorous at this point. He's just going to keep up his grifting until enough of his fans realise they're being duped...which will likely never happen (at least, not for a long time) at this point.

Out of all of the articles I've read about Alex and YanSim, this is definitely the best one. I really hope that more articles like this one are written in the future because not only does it accurately sum up why Alex is a lolcow and how flawed his game is, but there's also a lot of humor throughout it. Let this article be an example for future articles written about Alex and his vaporware...

The sex doll saga has been widely spread outside kiwi. In fact, hearing about the sex doll through word of mouth led me to YouTube, led me to Reddit, led me to PULL and lead me to Kiwi (which, not going to lie. I’m now absolutely in love with this forum. It has the best info with no tiptoeing around feewings) I’m not sure that anyone outside of kiwi has collected all the incriminating circumstantial evidence together in one place though as the email confirmation was only found out after the 2nd Reddit hack and email leak. The existence of the sex doll site was found many posts before. The confirmation of cannotgoogleme from our fellow kiwi has spread to Reddit, youtube, and everywhere it seems. I’m not surprised. It’s the one thing he vehemently denies and it’s also the most embarrassing to him.

 

[ｃｈｌｏｒｉｎｅ]

The sex doll saga has been widely spread outside kiwi. In fact, hearing about the sex doll through word of mouth led me to YouTube, led me to Reddit, led me to PULL and lead me to Kiwi (which, not going to lie. I’m now absolutely in love with this forum. It has the best info with no tiptoeing around feewings) I’m not sure that anyone outside of kiwi has collected all the incriminating circumstantial evidence together in one place though as the email confirmation was only found out after the 2nd Reddit hack and email leak. The existence of the sex doll site was found many posts before. The confirmation of cannotgoogleme from our fellow kiwi has spread to Reddit, youtube, and everywhere it seems. I’m not surprised. It’s the one thing he vehemently denies and it’s also the most embarrassing to him.

Thanks for clarifying that for me! There's just so much info about Alex from this thread that circulates outside of it that I couldn't quite tell when knowledge of his sex doll forum account became public.

 

[FurezoHarto]

So a complete sped tried to fix Alex’s code with a mod and this happened.

 

[cjöcker]

So a complete sped tried to fix Alex’s code with a mod and this happened.

Its not really lines of code that are the issue, shorter isn't always better. Its that he doesn't use basic shit that Unity gives him. The issue has always been portrayed as those pesky else ifs slowing down the game but that is the least of his problems. He doesn't ever think with the future in mind. All the game's logic goes into one fucking method in a couple files and everything is handled with a fuckton of booleans and if. This makes adding or removing things a drawn out and quite frankly tiring task because you now have to edit 4,000 conditional statements. Why the fuck doesn't he understand object oriented programming?? It is the most basic shit. A decade ago he would not have gotten this far because he wouldn't have had a robust consumer game development tool babying him so much. Unity is like a toy, its easy to use and has drastically lowered the bar for making games. In spite of how easy it is he still tries to shove square pegs in round holes and insists that because it kind of fits he's doing it right. I also often see an innumerable amount of constants not attached to any variables so if he wants to change those he's going to spend the afternoon doing so.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

I'm not Russian, but I ran the article through several different translators to put together a decent English translation for reference. Of course it's not perfect, but it's as readable as I could make it. (If there are any people here who are fluent, you can PM me fixes and I'll revise)

https://rentry.co/nfc5k

Hm. I see mention of gremlins, but I don't see mentions of his video. That's a shame, because in my opinion this is still the best indicator of Alex being unable to take any responsibility for his actions. Also, nothing about debunk page.

It’s the one thing he vehemently denies and it’s also the most embarrassing to him.

He would better just ignore it. His explanation about why email confirmation works with "cannotgoogleme" and his email address was so dumb, that it only confirmed what's been already confirmed.

 

[cjöcker]

His explanation about why email confirmation works with "cannotgoogleme" and his email address was so dumb, that it only confirmed what's been already confirmed.

Excuse me if I'm :late: but when did he confirm this??

 

[Bean5]

The sex doll saga has been widely spread outside kiwi. In fact, hearing about the sex doll through word of mouth led me to YouTube, led me to Reddit, led me to PULL and lead me to Kiwi (which, not going to lie. I’m now absolutely in love with this forum. It has the best info with no tiptoeing around feewings)

I was led here by seeing a kiwi screenshot that included my tumblr name during hobby drama. The farms is accurate. Their oats spread far

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Excuse me if I'm :late: but when did he confirm this??

Recently.

yo. everybody type in the chat alex is a stupid nigger. just type in the chat alex is a stupid nigger. fuck him. fuck him.
View attachment 1517916
alex still denies the doll forums account... funny how he tells this mecha guy that he has no knowledge how password recovery works when alex himself doesnt seem to know either and is just pulling it out of his ass at this point to keep up with the denial, expecting anyone who sees this to believe it...

alex really is a stupid nigger. keemstar was actually ahead of his time by ten years.

This is as good as you may expect from him.

>it sends e-mail recovery to both accounts

You dumb nigger, we checked it multiple fucking times!






>I get 100 password recovery notifications every day

Well, considering the above, congratulations on confirming that it works as we thought it does.

 

[cjöcker]

The claim that it sends the password recovery email to both accounts can be quite easily debunked.

The doll forum runs PHP BB and right above there is the SQL query made when the password recovery form is submitted. It searches for a user with the exact name and email specified not to mention that the way that PHP BB sends the email is in such a way that it only uses the email fetched from the SQL query proving that he is a fucking liar. It is a pretty shitty lie too because there's absolutely no reason for a web developer to send 2 seperate emails and for someone who claims to be a good programmer he clearly didn't think that someone would have to actually implement that. Any other Kiwis who want to dissect this can do so here.

 

[deepFriedBaka]

I know I'm :late:, but is there any other reason why Alex doesn't use access modifiers (he sets every variable to public)?
Other than the fact that he's too much of a lazy cow to learn about them or just doesn't know what they are.

 

[cjöcker]

I know I'm :late:, but is there any other reason why Alex doesn't use access modifiers (he sets every variable to public)?
Other than the fact that he's too much of a lazy cow to learn about them or just doesn't know what they are.

If you load the leaked source up in Unity and you use any half-decent code editor it'll show you all the times a property is used in another class. If you do that you may be able to see other classes that use those properties.

 

[ｃｈｌｏｒｉｎｅ]

Not a tech kiwi but all of this discussion surrounding how Alex knew that we found out about his doll forum account is really interesting!

 

[York]

I know I'm :late:, but is there any other reason why Alex doesn't use access modifiers (he sets every variable to public)?
Other than the fact that he's too much of a lazy cow to learn about them or just doesn't know what they are.

Making a field public makes it serialized by default (allows objects to be attached to that field on the component in the inspector), but it's possible (and preferred) to have private serialized fields by using the SerializeField attribute. Either Alex doesn't know how to use this or it isn't compatible with his shitcode for god knows what reason.

As for static fields though, he has no excuse since those can never be serialized anyway

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

s'not like public or private would make much of a difference when Alex has coupled his code so tightly its best described as a monolith. Not to mention he's achieved security via obscurity just through sheer volume of variables. You try to studentscript.variable, and intellisense would probably up and die on you.