DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Pargon]

What's more surprising than Phil not looking for a real job is that he doesn't even try to experiment with his stream. He's got a platoon of retards who will throw money at him to do anything, why doesn't he mix it up a bit? If you're going to be sausage-moding on camera for 6 hours a day, why not at least have some fun with it?
He might even make more money that way, because enthusiasm is contagious. Maybe he'd actually get a viewer if he did something he enjoys.

The fly in the ointment, of course, is that he doesn't enjoy anything except wrestling and homoerotic fantasizing. But he could find a new thing he likes.

He's also terminally lazy and actively hates his audience. If they're paying him no matter what why should he try harder to please a group of people he wouldn't piss on if they were on fire?

Oh by the way, this is easily the surest sign that he's getting more than the amount of money he thinks he needs. What he's been doing lately doesn't remotely approach hard begging, even for him. He won't begin trying anything different until there's a run on his gatcha game or a real-life emergency. Until then he's happy as a pig in shit.

 

[TurboSwine]

What's more surprising than Phil not looking for a real job is that he doesn't even try to experiment with his stream. He's got a platoon of retards who will throw money at him to do anything, why doesn't he mix it up a bit? If you're going to be sausage-moding on camera for 6 hours a day, why not at least have some fun with it?
He might even make more money that way, because enthusiasm is contagious. Maybe he'd actually get a viewer if he did something he enjoys.

The fly in the ointment, of course, is that he doesn't enjoy anything except wrestling and homoerotic fantasizing. But he could find a new thing he likes.

He's so stuck on being a "variety" streamer, but fails to realize that most people were attracted to his YT because he played tons of Street Fighter. If he went back to being the guy who just played fighters (albeit poorly) and then did one or two days a week or fan requested games he'd probably jump back up to a mid tier streamer/YT'er.

The most reasonable job choice for him is going to be call center work. They'll take just about anybody if they can put a butt in a seat.. Most call centers are 3rd party operations and they're required to meet metrics of call coverage so if you can answer a phone, they'll take you. However if it ever gets out that Phil is working for one and they discover which company it is, you can bet the reerees will be calling in like crazy to talk to him about his gout. He'll quickly find himself out on his ass if he's creating a larger call volume for the company.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

I find it really hard to dislike DSP. He's such an asshole in the most non malicious way possible. His entire demeanor just seems to come from pure almost childlike ignorance. I hope he fucks up his bankruptcy completely, just so we can watch him bumble his way through it in real time.

He has like 60 000 videos on the internet. I'm sure you can find something you dislike if you search around.

A viewer posts in chat that his brother passed away. Phil calls him a liar and an attention whore and tells him to go fuck himself and stop derailing the stream.

Calls an 11 year old girl who was in voice chat a bitch and says he would pimp slap the shit out of her in real life.

Has John and Howard's friends do all the video production work on Project7. Refuses to pay them a dime for their hours and hours of work.

Collects over $10 000 on patreon over several months for a Project7 reboot. When the day comes to release the trailer video, Phil tweets out that he's not going to do it and he's not giving refunds.

Leanna has a panic attack and goes to the hospital. Phil streams his version of the story and gives out Leanna's personal details.

Made his viewers pay him $1000 for a huge important reveal. It was his cat.

Flew his parents out from Connecticut to Washington. Had them clean his house and do chores all week.

Phil is more than just a guy who is bad at video games.

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

Phil has a plan - keep streaming until his parents both die, then live on the inheritance.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

Oh by the way, this is easily the surest sign that he's getting more than the amount of money he thinks he needs.

This probably tops even his laziness and contempt for his audience as reasons why he doesn't do more. He can be compelled to put in more of an effort (though it'll often be the wrong thing to put effort into), but his comfort level has to be threatened first. Not even the end of the vest streak is likely to do that, it'll just fuck him up emotionally because it's one less thing he can wave in front of our faces and act like we're mad about it.

But his health? Yeah, I think we can count on that causing a problem for him in the future. Maybe not the near future, but it's coming. No one lives the way he does without paying a price eventually.

 

[TurboSwine]

He has like 60 000 videos on the internet. I'm sure you can find something you dislike if you search around.

A viewer posts in chat that his brother passed away. Phil calls him a liar and an attention whore and tells him to go fuck himself and stop derailing the stream.

Calls an 11 year old girl who was in voice chat a bitch and says he would pimp slap the shit out of her in real life.

Has John and Howard's friends do all the video production work on Project7. Refuses to pay them a dime for their hours and hours of work.

Collects over $10 000 on patreon over several months for a Project7 reboot. When the day comes to release the trailer video, Phil tweets out that he's not going to do it and he's not giving refunds.

Leanna has a panic attack and goes to the hospital. Phil streams his version of the story and gives out Leanna's personal details.

Made his viewers pay him $1000 for a huge important reveal. It was his cat.

Flew his parents out from Connecticut to Washington. Had them clean his house and do chores all week.

Phil is more than just a guy who is bad at video games.

Don't forget some other gems like,

Claimed "poor me" while flying his girlfriend out to see him.

Claimed "poor me" so he could fly his girlfriend out to Connecticut to marry her.


Edit:

Phil has a plan - keep streaming until his parents both die, then live on the inheritance.

But it would be a shame if his parents went on Medicaid in their old age, and then went to an assisted living facility because of Phil's neglect, and then when they died the state enacted a Medicaid estate recovery so that Phil never sees a dime of his inheritance.

 

[Vercingetorix]

He has like 60 000 videos on the internet. I'm sure you can find something you dislike if you search around.

A viewer posts in chat that his brother passed away. Phil calls him a liar and an attention whore and tells him to go fuck himself and stop derailing the stream.

Calls an 11 year old girl who was in voice chat a bitch and says he would pimp slap the shit out of her in real life.

Has John and Howard's friends do all the video production work on Project7. Refuses to pay them a dime for their hours and hours of work.

Collects over $10 000 on patreon over several months for a Project7 reboot. When the day comes to release the trailer video, Phil tweets out that he's not going to do it and he's not giving refunds.

Leanna has a panic attack and goes to the hospital. Phil streams his version of the story and gives out Leanna's personal details.

Made his viewers pay him $1000 for a huge important reveal. It was his cat.

Flew his parents out from Connecticut to Washington. Had them clean his house and do chores all week.

Phil is more than just a guy who is bad at video games.

Good point. I'm most likely just wearing the funny goggles too hard to realize if I were to actually spend time with this human I'd want to strangle him after an hour. That being said, I know people like him in the sense that they're just really ignorant, but in no way malicious. I completely forgot some of those ridiculous sins. Thanks for the reminder.

 

[MoonRocker]

He's so stuck on being a "variety" streamer, but fails to realize that most people were attracted to his YT because he played tons of Street Fighter. If he went back to being the guy who just played fighters (albeit poorly) and then did one or two days a week or fan requested games he'd probably jump back up to a mid tier streamer/YT'er.

The most reasonable job choice for him is going to be call center work. They'll take just about anybody if they can put a butt in a seat.. Most call centers are 3rd party operations and they're required to meet metrics of call coverage so if you can answer a phone, they'll take you. However if it ever gets out that Phil is working for one and they discover which company it is, you can bet the reerees will be calling in like crazy to talk to him about his gout. He'll quickly find himself out on his ass if he's creating a larger call volume for the company.

Going to PL a bit but as someone who owns and implemented two call centers (for treatment), finding good reps is extremely difficult. Not only is the pay lower than similar jobs within that salary range, these people are required to learn how to use a CRM system like Salesforce and also be good enough to sell services and close leads out.

Phil would be awful in a call center setting: tries to sound smarter than he is; fumbles words all the time; little ability to empathize with a potential client; no discernible area of expertise he can draw from; disgusting auditory mannerisms (lip smacking, snorting); and probably too cocky to follow a script.

There’s a reason he was fired as a Customer Representative when he worked at Sikorsky: Phil is just not a relatable person and coupled with his laziness and ego, he’s just not employable as is and won’t be the longer he secludes himself from the real word. A 12-year gap in a resume is a gigantic red flag and unless he has a really good cover story as to why he hasn’t worked for so long, he won’t be able to find any entry-level position without a friend’s or family’s referral (which he doesn’t and will not have).

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Going to PL a bit but as someone who owns and implemented two call centers (for treatment), finding good reps is extremely difficult. Not only is the pay lower than similar jobs within that salary range, these people are required to learn how to use a CRM system like Salesforce and also be good enough to sell services and close leads out.

Phil would be awful in a call center setting: tries to sound smarter than he is; fumbles words all the time; little ability to empathize with a potential client; no discernible area of expertise he can draw from; disgusting auditory mannerisms (lip smacking, snorting); and probably too cocky to follow a script.

There’s a reason he was fired as a Customer Representative when he worked at Sikorsky: Phil is just not a relatable person and coupled with his laziness and ego, he’s just not employable as is and won’t be the longer he secludes himself from the real word. A 12-year gap in a resume is a gigantic red flag and unless he has a really good cover story as to why he hasn’t worked for so long, he won’t be able to find any entry-level position without a friend’s or family’s referral (which he doesn’t and will not have).

He also has to look at his keyboard to type while using the "hunt and peck" method.

 

[Balr0g]

Phil has a plan - keep streaming until his parents both die, then live on the inheritance.

Then it comes out his parents are deep in debt and Phil will cry on stream "Bugged inheritance mechanics! I nned more money doods!"

 

[TurboSwine]

Going to PL a bit but as someone who owns and implemented two call centers (for treatment), finding good reps is extremely difficult. Not only is the pay lower than similar jobs within that salary range, these people are required to learn how to use a CRM system like Salesforce and also be good enough to sell services and close leads out.

Phil would be awful in a call center setting: tries to sound smarter than he is; fumbles words all the time; little ability to empathize with a potential client; no discernible area of expertise he can draw from; disgusting auditory mannerisms (lip smacking, snorting); and probably too cocky to follow a script.

There’s a reason he was fired as a Customer Representative when he worked at Sikorsky: Phil is just not a relatable person and coupled with his laziness and ego, he’s just not employable as is and won’t be the longer he secludes himself from the real word. A 12-year gap in a resume is a gigantic red flag and unless he has a really good cover story as to why he hasn’t worked for so long, he won’t be able to find any entry-level position without a friend’s or family’s referral (which he doesn’t and will not have).

Oh I agree, he would be absolutely horrible on the phones, but he would more than likely be given the job initially, at least at the call centers around me that just want butts in seats.

 

[Brother Wind]

Good point. I'm most likely just wearing the funny goggles too hard to realize if I were to actually spend time with this human I'd want to strangle him after an hour. That being said, I know people like him in the sense that they're just really ignorant, but in no way malicious. I completely forgot some of those ridiculous sins. Thanks for the reminder.

Oh they're just being dumb ignorant kids taking shit out of context.

Like he ran away to make certain that 11 couldn't hear he was gonna threaten to slap her up

That guy who's brother died was trying to be comforting, by telling Phil how he coped with the tragedy

He figured the Project 7 didn't actually want to be paid

He ate the food they brought for Leanna in the hospital, by his own words "she wasn't hungry"

Now that I have debunked everything, you'll understand that Phil did nothing wrong.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

unless he has a really good cover story as to why he hasn’t worked for so long

As someone who has tried to pull some bullshit with that before (wasn't twelve years, but it was awhile), I can safely say that Phil is fucked there, because as we know, he's the worst liar on Earth, and even the good ones get rejected a lot.

And of course I would love to be a fly on the wall as he sat in someone's office going through his entire origin story to explain the gap in his employment history. Wouldn't stay for the whole thing, obviously, but knowing for a fact that he even tried that would be supremely satisfying.

 

[Vercingetorix]

Oh they're just being dumb ignorant kids taking shit out of context.

Like he ran away to make certain that 11 couldn't hear he was gonna threaten to slap her up

That guy who's brother died was trying to be comforting, by telling Phil how he coped with the tragedy

He figured the Project 7 didn't actually want to be paid

He ate the food they brought for Leanna in the hospital, by his own words "she wasn't hungry"

Now that I have debunked everything, you'll understand that Phil did nothing wrong.

What's that Churchhill quote? "I know that history will treat me kindly, for I will be the one to write it." bravo Phil.

 

[Martys_not_smarty]

On things not to like about him how about the whole deal with him not wanting to go to Leanna's brothers wedding because it got in the way of playing Fallout or just the whole concept of Leanna in general, some fucking girl barely of legal age or so we are led to believe and takes her to the other side of the country to isolate her from her family and that's similar with Kat but her autistic ass probably wanted to be disassociated with the rest of her family in Michigan.

 

[Radical Goodspeed]

Phil has a plan - keep streaming until his parents both die, then live on the inheritance.

There's a rainbow.

At this point, I would put money on Phil's mom outliving him.

 

[Brother Wind]

Oh they're just being dumb ignorant kids taking shit out of context.

Like he ran away to make certain that 11 couldn't hear he was gonna threaten to slap her up

That guy who's brother died was trying to be comforting, by telling Phil how he coped with the tragedy

He figured the Project 7 didn't actually want to be paid

He ate the food they brought for Leanna in the hospital, by his own words "she wasn't hungry"

Now that I have debunked everything, you'll understand that Phil did nothing wrong.

I know it's really classy to quote yourself. But like I started thinking about this. Phil is kind of a failure as a member of society. Like, maybe not on paper, but hear me out. Like he's not exactly a criminal, you know innocent until proven guilty. But I don't know how he lives with himself. Like the Leanna and the not paying the Project 7 people is just goddamn shameful. Around here even if someone refuses money (around here you gotta try 5 times) you give them something. And you just know he would totally take the last bits of food from his folks, and you know for certain he doesn't let his wife take them, or even god forbid him ever having a kid. Like could you imagine him going ah, Phil Jr. there's only one piece of pizza left, you take it. Because I sure as hell can't imagine that. He just doesn't possess a single ounce of charity in his heart. You could jump his car and he'd leave you in a cloud of dust before you comically say "well you're welcome I suppose".

And I didn't say a failure as an adult because like he's what 39? That would be despicable at 29. Shameful at 19. And if I'm being completely honest, I think there are 9 year olds that have a better track record of not being a little shit like Phil was. Even when they aren't around their parents or teachers.

 

[Zappin’ And Spazzin’]

There's a rainbow.

At this point, I would put money on Phil's mom outliving him.

The ultimate challenge for his pigroach luck - outlasting your own lucky genetics.

 

[gh0stzero]

Phil has a plan - keep streaming until his parents both die, then live on the inheritance.

Only if the inheritence lawyer in charge of the Burnell estate emails Phil like he was told and doesn't call.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Phil's parents have a single income home.

His mother allegedly has a QVC shopping addiction.

They probably have enough money saved up to live comfortably when Dave retires, but I highly doubt they have a secret fortune that Phil will inherit.

If they even had $100,000 saved up and Phill inherited it, that is less than he makes a year. And he is still unable to pay his bills and taxes.

If anything, he might get the house when they pass. But as evidenced by the Connecticut condo, he will be too busy to sell it. He couldn't get rid of his condo, how will he sell a cigarette smoke stained cat piss filled duplex in the ghetto?