Something has stuck in my mind for the last few days, and if I may, I would like to sperg on it a little.
This has been a fairly action-packed and revealing week with our irresistible influencer superstar. She has managed to be at her filthiest, craziest, dumbest, most gluttony, and most delusional all week, with no signs of abatement yet (the only cloud on the horizon was her getting ticked off about the reference to Bibi in her last live, which prompted her to chop parts out wholesale, something she has never done before with a livestream.)
There are so many rabbit holes to go down among things she has actually said or done this week.
But this is the one I want to address:
Her precise quote was "Did I look like Nicole Kidman in that movie? Where she's in the rain and singing "Dirty Laundry"?"
Leaving aside her predictable dumbness of not even remembering the correct song in the rather memorable scene she was attempting to emulate, let's take what she is asking at face value.
Ordinarily, one could see a fatso dancing in the rain and think "Good for her! At least she is happy!" And Clotso may indeed have been ecstatic at that moment; she was giggling up a storm, hooting and hollering, as if she had just been cleansed in Holy Water and all her demons were released.
Similarly, one could also shrug off her question as mere foolishness; sarcastic kidding from a 400 pound lardass who
knows she does not look like vintage Nicole Kidman in one of her sexiest scenes. Just a joke.
Except that she
doesn't know. For that unabashed (and some may say unhinged) moment of raindancing, she
was Nicole Kidman, only
better than that. For a moment, the fatsuit fell off completely. For someone who moans in pain, huffing and puffing whenever she takes a step without her walker, she somehow managed to move relatively well for a few seconds there. Why? Because she is literally in a faraway cloud kookoo land at that moment. She can see herself so clearly; a movie star with the spotlight on her, fertile and desirable and hot fucking stuff...
I do agree with the speculation around here that she has some weird kind of reverse body dysmorphia; that's why she buys sizes of clothes that are too small, and why she thinks she is a "beauty" despite ample evidence to the contrary. Her raindance was a manifestation of this, in a ramped-up, manic, and perhaps stoned way. She absolutely wasn't kidding, and she saw herself as the goddess for real at that moment. She seriously wanted to know if that was the image the viewer conjured up, because it is the one
she conjured up.
To the rest of us, and maybe some Canadian drivers, we saw something crazed and pathetic. It wasn't so much hooray for the fatso for expressing herself as cringing at an inappropriate and awkward display of mental deterioration.
This is but one facet of many that fascinate me about our fat friend. It is interesting to watch people deny the existence of reality, but she ignores reality in really
interesting ways...
