🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

[Kenobi]

I think one trait that is universal among lolcows is their financial ineptitude, although I find most people to be shit with money. New cars are about the worst thing to put money it. I remember a DSP clip I heard a while back where he was telling his chat about how he was leasing a BMW for years and he was going to trade that in for a 0 interest auto loan on a new car, and that they were giving him cash back on the loan and how that was all so good for him. Don't be like these people, bury whatever ego you have and buy an old ass 90s or 2000s honda or toyota outright in cash. You'll be happier and less broke in the long run.

"A buyer's market for cars" - Reacting to DSP's New Car

Destiny reacts to DSP selling his BMW and getting a new car.Follow Destiny►STREAM - http://www.destiny.gg/bigscreen►TWITTER - https://www.twitter.com/OmniDes...

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With dsp i get it, that was all about status.
But Ralph? Why would he by a brand new car he never goes anywhere and i don´t think even highschoolers get impressed by a brand new nissan (unless its a skyline and then he can pick up all the boys he wants).

When it comes to Vickers both “sides” are right:

What he’s doing is embarrassing and utterly exceptional

It’s very funny and he should definitely continue

Don´t listen to him Mr vickers! You are my hero and the more embarssing details you give about Ralph the more marvelous matt points you earn. Hell you can even steal some from jarbo now that his redemption has been cancled.

See, that's the beauty of it. Jarbo being such a massive faggot makes him dunking on Ralph way better. He's still a tubby dimwit and is now high off a victory and smug as fuck. If he comes off as annoying it's ten fold for the gunt.

This is all the awlags had to do was wait for something like this but no instead they had to go for the jugular in an instant.
NO NO MATT FALSE FLAGGED 2 YEARS AGO THAT MEANS HE SHOULD BURN IN HELL AND WE SHOULD REPORT HIM TO UBER EATS!. HE CAN`T BE PRAISED EVEN JOKEINGLY CAUSE THEN THE PINECONE IN MY ASS WILL EXPLODE!

Who would you rather be right now: Jarbo or Ralph? Both are horrifying prospects, but it’s still not even close.

Would you rather have cp or loli at the airport?! You can´t answer cause its a good point.

 

[Crystal Golem]

Riely said that digibro and Ralph are best friends now.

I bet ralph just goes over to steal weed from those chucklefucks.

 

[Sasquatch82]

If her ex is to be believed, she thinks his breath smells like used tampons. So, factor that into your equation

No one has been able to adequately describe to me how that smells.
How is that a frame of reference for anyone?
"oh sure, like used tampons, got it"

 

[MeltyTW]

This is all the awlags had to do was wait for something like this but no instead they had to go for the jugular in an instant.
NO NO MATT FALSE FLAGGED 2 YEARS AGO THAT MEANS HE SHOULD BURN IN HELL AND WE SHOULD REPORT HIM TO UBER EATS!. HE CAN`T BE PRAISED EVEN JOKEINGLY CAUSE THEN THE PINECONE IN MY ASS WILL EXPLODE!

for all their talk about alogs you know what warranted dame and ethan and co calling matt a violent child rapist? being boring and non confrontational, thats it. but now unless dick and ethan rape a child live (not just masturbate to her feet) than you cant do anything but suck their gunts

Don´t listen to him Mr vickers! You are my hero and the more embarssing details you give about Ralph the more marvelous matt points you earn. Hell you can even steal some from jarbo now that his redemption has been cancled.

Yes, lure him to the boulder fields and steal his life essence, damn his soul in your diablerist lust for power in the guntosphere

 

[Fully Eshay Skits Bruh v2]

Would you rather have cp or loli at the airport?! You can´t answer cause its a good point.

Neither because i'm not a pedophile.

Its crazy to think that Dax thought this was the great "gotcha" moment.

 

[Buffalo Chicken Sandwich]

No one has been able to adequately describe to me how that smells.
How is that a frame of reference for anyone?
"oh sure, like used tampons, got it"

Like B.O., bad pussy smell, swamp ass, and that metallic penny smell that blood gets, all at the same time.

 

[temp o'rary]

No one has been able to adequately describe to me how that smells.
How is that a frame of reference for anyone?
"oh sure, like used tampons, got it"

Women's restrooms have a disposal container specifically for them.

Maybe he was looking for burgers in there

 

[High Tea]

No one has been able to adequately describe to me how that smells.
How is that a frame of reference for anyone?
"oh sure, like used tampons, got it"

Rusty, metallic dry blood with a hint of fish and day+ old rotting in the sun garbage.

 

[Delicious Diversity]

Major update in the field of Guntology: After cross-referencing DNA samples taken directly from the gunt crease with known flora and fauna worldwide I have been able to deduce the most likely region to which this unique species is indigenous:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gunt_River

Further research is required but these findings seem promising.

 

[WhimsicalTrolli]

Your redemption arc was there Matt. All you had to do was shut up and smile while dunking on the gunt. Now you’ve gone and fucked it up.

Marvelous Matt Jarbo redemption arc REVOKED

He tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
He had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

So Mr. Vickers is wiki-leaks'ing his daughters life in order to fuck over the gunt and her chance at a normal life and to further tear Ralph down?

Her life was ruined when the revenge porn was leaked. She belongs to the streets.

 

[TV's Adam West]

Ralph's mic quality is so good, you can hear the sounds of his dad walking out and his mom being disappointed.

May I be immortalized Mister Vickers?

 

[Shakka Ahmose]

Mr. Vickers should duel Ralph old fashioned style with black powdered pistols to settle this once and for all. Only one man leaves.

 

[Takayuki Yagami]

No one has been able to adequately describe to me how that smells.
How is that a frame of reference for anyone?
"oh sure, like used tampons, got it"

It occurs to me that people were saying Coach smelled like death during the Knoxville trainwreck. What if they were projecting Ralph’s hobo, alcoholic, fat-fold stank onto Gonzalo?

 

[Glade Candles]

Mr. Vickers should duel Ralph old fashioned style with black powdered pistols to settle this once and for all. Only one man leaves.

Well if Mr. Vickers dies, no men leave.

 

[The Bovinian Derivative]

Mr. Vickers should duel Ralph old fashioned style with black powdered pistols to settle this once and for all. Only one man leaves.

We are talking about a guy who would not fist fight a fat leaf for five grand.

 

[Postal Pippa]

We are talking about a guy who would not fist fight a fat leaf for five grand.

Didnt Gunt also bitch out on fighting Baked Alaska?

 

[The Bovinian Derivative]

Didnt Gunt also bitch out on fighting Baked Alaska?

IIRC after Knoxville Baked was up for a match to fight either Andy or Ralph but it never happened, probably because of the dumpster fire that was the Andy+Ralph Miami tour, but I am not sure.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

Mr. Vickers should duel Ralph old fashioned style with black powdered pistols to settle this once and for all. Only one man leaves.

I want them to wrassle in Tonka's wrasslin' ring. Entrance themes and everything.

 

[MeltyTW]

Didnt Gunt also bitch out on fighting Baked Alaska?

He did, Gunt wanted Baked vs Andy but had to find excuses when Baked challenged Ralph instead. Also i cant remember it clearly but i think he offered at one point either thinking Baked wouldnt accept or as part of a past drunken rant Baked brought up.

 

[Elric of Melnibone]

OMFG LMFAO I found the offical music composer of the Gunt Guard