- Joined
- Jan 26, 2020
C'mon, the whole thing is hilarious. Think about that boss little 4-year-old being like "that was fun, mommy!" as she skips back to the parking lot.I was trying to think of ways to put it in perspective how mind blowingly cringe her entire description of the "hike" was and I'm still struggling. What she did is what anybody under 300lbs would consider a leisurely stroll. Even a "bigger gorl" sitting somewhere around 250 could walk 3.8 miles, on a mostly flat trail, and not describe it like a 10 mile, 5000 foot gain goat trail that even an ultra-marathoner would have some trouble with at parts. Have you ever walked the loop at central park? That's basically what this trail is, except maybe with a little added heat thrown in. Any trail that is labelled "easy" is not a hike. It's a walk. That's just how it is in the hiking world. It's the introduction to getting out and about. How anybody could not bust out laughing when she said, straight faced, that she was near death a quarter of a mile from the parking lot is beyond my comprehension. And then, the diet mountain dew! It's like a caricature, right, this is satire? Her description of the sand, "it's not beach sand, it sinks beneath you": what? It's desert sand in the mountain west. It's not a fucking sand dune it's hard packed mostly and you're usually walking on water runoff zones that pack it down even harder and make it similar to concrete.
Then there is the whole usage of "we" where she is implying she's with someone and yet simultanously is all alone. "We started in Moab, then WE went to other parts of Utah". Dude, the "we" is Anna and her poor mutt. The shots are all setup from her tripod. There is nobody!
And then there's Anna, literally curled up under a tree 400 yards from the end of the trail, wailing and tantruming because she's convinced that she's dying of thirst and she can't! walk! one! step! further! and her dog is going to run away and be adopted by some nice kind family while her bones bleach slowly in the hot, hot sun.
lol.