Diseased Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

[draculasestateagent]

So many of these stupid little girls begging for money on tumblr with “please buy a tarot reading or a pendulum!!!”

Girl if you’re such a badass witch just magick yourself some rent money and shut up

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

So many of these stupid little girls begging for money on tumblr with “please buy a tarot reading or a pendulum!!!”

Girl if you’re such a badass witch just magick yourself some rent money and shut up
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If donations will "earn you my eternal love" then I expect a lapdance.

 

[NoReturn]

I wonder what distinguishes an "open practice" from a "closed practice" like, voodoo and smudging is a no no, but worshipping Aphrodite is okay? That doesn't make any sense.

A closed practice is anything performed by someone whose skin is darker than a paper bag, apparently.

Girl if you’re such a badass witch just magick yourself some rent money and shut up

Do. The. Work. Magic isn't supposed to work if you don't do the actual work to make the changes happen.
Like, even if you don't believe in magic, it's like a reverse Pascal's Wager.
IF you get a job AND magic does not exist THEN you get money
IF you get a damn job AND magic exists THEN you get money + additional money via magic
IF you don't get a job AND magic does not exist THEN you get nothing
IF you don't get a job AND magic exists THEN you still get nothing because you didn't put in the work

TIL I learned Jewish witches are a thing:

Spoiler: Da JOOOS

But what about the Muslims?

Spoiler: Not as common

Either way, the lot of them are just FULL of anger -

Spoiler: Ta-Da

 

[Wes Bluemarine]

TIL I learned Jewish witches are a thing:

Spoiler: Da JOOOS

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But what about the Muslims?

Spoiler: Not as common

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Either way, the lot of them are just FULL of anger -

Spoiler: Ta-Da

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Yadda yadda voodooism and pagan shit is real but Tumblr witches seem to be so aggressive with witchcraft, especially if at most is spending 5 dollars on rocks and plastic skulls

 

[blqcktea]

You mean like primrose draws? The dumbass in all the deviantart drama videos?

Does sound like her tbh. She claims she's filed police reports against other people who've "betrayed/bullied her" yet continues to talk about all the incidents she supposedly reported when you're... not really supposed to discuss it if it's in the legal process stuff (please correct me if I'm wrong). I'm not sure if she's involved with witchcraft stuff though

 

[Shaka Brah]

TIL I learned Jewish witches are a thing:

Spoiler: Da JOOOS

View attachment 1555216
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But what about the Muslims?

Spoiler: Not as common

View attachment 1555220
View attachment 1555221

Either way, the lot of them are just FULL of anger -

Spoiler: Ta-Da

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Kabbalah was incredibly popular with the Ashkenazi population, and the Talmud uses some really seriously Jewish logic to allow the practicing of witchcraft despite prohibitions in the Mosaic laws. So Jews doing other kinds of ritual magic is bizarrely quite historical.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

How can you be a "volcano witch"? How are those two things related?

Spoiler

How can you be rude if you don't insult him?

Spoiler

Wasn't Peresephone kidnapped?

Spoiler

I feel like an anger management group would be more effective than a hex.

 

[NoReturn]

I feel like an anger management group would be more effective than a hex.

Gimme dem puzzle pieces, but this reminds me of what happened to Sayaka in Madoka.

Spoiler: Show spoilers

Let's look at this poor kid's thought process. Her dad is a dick, and she wants him to stop being a dick, but she's not admitting what she really wants.

Spoiler: This got long so I put it in a spoiler box

Admitting what she really wants would be taboo, or make her sound selfish, so maybe she can't even admit it to herself. So she says she wants him be a better person, to be nice to her, or that someone else (her dead grandmother) could stand up to him because she can't. She phrases it like it's something that would help her, her mom, and her brother, but that's not how magic "works". This fluffy shit comes from Christianity and a society that raised her to put others first, or at least pretend to. She isn't allowed to admit that changing her father is a selfish desire, so she has to phrase it in such a way that others will think well of her.
This lack of specificity is so common in fluffy "magic" and it really tells you a lot about the psychology of the people "practicing" it. Her "hex" won't work, because we live in reality, but let's pretend for a minute it did. I can think of so many ways it could backfire.

• "Stop my father from yelling all the time." → Father gets his head cracked open and becomes a mute vegetable. Burdening the family for the rest of her life, but hey, at least he ain't yelling anymore.
• "I wish I had a better father than the one I was given." → Dead in car accident. Mother remarries.

As payment for my rant, have some thread content.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Gimme dem puzzle pieces, but this reminds me of what happened to Sayaka in Madoka.

Spoiler: Show spoilers

Let's look at this poor kid's thought process. Her dad is a dick, and she wants him to stop being a dick, but she's not admitting what she really wants.

Spoiler: This got long so I put it in a spoiler box

Admitting what she really wants would be taboo, or make her sound selfish, so maybe she can't even admit it to herself. So she says she wants him be a better person, to be nice to her, or that someone else (her dead grandmother) could stand up to him because she can't. She phrases it like it's something that would help her, her mom, and her brother, but that's not how magic "works". This fluffy shit comes from Christianity and a society that raised her to put others first, or at least pretend to. She isn't allowed to admit that changing her father is a selfish desire, so she has to phrase it in such a way that others will think well of her.
This lack of specificity is so common in fluffy "magic" and it really tells you a lot about the psychology of the people "practicing" it. Her "hex" won't work, because we live in reality, but let's pretend for a minute it did. I can think of so many ways it could backfire.

• "Stop my father from yelling all the time." → Father gets his head cracked open and becomes a mute vegetable. Burdening the family for the rest of her life, but hey, at least he ain't yelling anymore.
• "I wish I had a better father than the one I was given." → Dead in car accident. Mother remarries.

Are you a witch? I'm kind of curious since you seem to know so much about magic.

 

[Chin of Campbell]

How can you be a "volcano witch"? How are those two things related?

She's a witch who specializes in Taco Bellomancy.

 

[WinchesterPremium]

Gimme dem puzzle pieces, but this reminds me of what happened to Sayaka in Madoka.

Spoiler: Show spoilers

Let's look at this poor kid's thought process. Her dad is a dick, and she wants him to stop being a dick, but she's not admitting what she really wants.

Spoiler: This got long so I put it in a spoiler box

Admitting what she really wants would be taboo, or make her sound selfish, so maybe she can't even admit it to herself. So she says she wants him be a better person, to be nice to her, or that someone else (her dead grandmother) could stand up to him because she can't. She phrases it like it's something that would help her, her mom, and her brother, but that's not how magic "works". This fluffy shit comes from Christianity and a society that raised her to put others first, or at least pretend to. She isn't allowed to admit that changing her father is a selfish desire, so she has to phrase it in such a way that others will think well of her.
This lack of specificity is so common in fluffy "magic" and it really tells you a lot about the psychology of the people "practicing" it. Her "hex" won't work, because we live in reality, but let's pretend for a minute it did. I can think of so many ways it could backfire.

• "Stop my father from yelling all the time." → Father gets his head cracked open and becomes a mute vegetable. Burdening the family for the rest of her life, but hey, at least he ain't yelling anymore.
• "I wish I had a better father than the one I was given." → Dead in car accident. Mother remarries.

As payment for my rant, have some thread content.
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I'll disagree with you on the "not asking for what she wants" part. She wants to hurt him for yelling at her and that is pretty clear. If she really could cast a spell that causes him to die and her mother to remarry both her stated and hidden goals would be met. Like I said earlier its basically a power fantasy, "If I could get someone to beat up my dad and not get me blamed for it I would" where her own words. If anything she's just lying about wanting to make him a better person, she either wants to be the one in power over him or to have him replaced by someone else who will offer the same financial and material support.

And being an adult, she could just....move out if it is such a problem. Stop doing weed and put the money towards rent.

 

[Dante Alighieri]

Are you a witch? I'm kind of curious since you seem to know so much about magic.

Anybody that does any kind of reading can "know" more than the tumblr users featured in this thread.

 

[NoReturn]

Are you a witch? I'm kind of curious since you seem to know so much about magic.

Spoiler: No es relevant to the thread topic

I like it as a subject. I've had a weird life where I got exposed to a lot of different religions thanks to my mom and I've spent a LONG time in libraries before the internet really took off (I'm old, Gandalf.)
My favorite books growing up were science books and paranormal books, so I'm in this weird little in-between zone where I seem to know more than your average idiot about this sort of dumb shit just because I would always come home like Matilda with a stack of books on the topic.
I think that's why I still "care" and sperg out about it. Magic is this whole interesting sub-section of history where on the surface you have the elements of the religious practice, but when you get deeper into it you get to see all this neat shit about the history and philosophy of the people who practiced different kinds of magic over the centuries.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

Who determines what is a "closed culture" and what is an "open culture"?

Spoiler

They do know that menstrual blood smells really bad, right? You shouldn't be playing with it.

 

[NoReturn]

Who determines what is a "closed culture" and what is an "open culture"?

Apparently whatever the woke mafia will attack you for using is part of a closed culture.
Imagine if science worked that way. "Ok guys, no one is allowed to get a pap smear if you aren't Greek, only Russians get satellites, and I swear to god if a catch anyone who isn't Finnish running Linux you're in for an ass-whoopin."

They do know that menstrual blood smells really bad, right? You shouldn't be playing with it.

Spoiler

 

[DatBepisTho]

A closed practice is anything performed by someone whose skin is darker than a paper bag, apparently.

Do. The. Work. Magic isn't supposed to work if you don't do the actual work to make the changes happen.
Like, even if you don't believe in magic, it's like a reverse Pascal's Wager.
IF you get a job AND magic does not exist THEN you get money
IF you get a damn job AND magic exists THEN you get money + additional money via magic
IF you don't get a job AND magic does not exist THEN you get nothing
IF you don't get a job AND magic exists THEN you still get nothing because you didn't put in the work

That and modern witchcraft is bougie and consumerist as fuck. Most of the rocks they use are expensive, even for tiny less than perfect or unaesthetic shapes.
Tarot decks are pretty pricey as well, despite there being cheaper options that are just as effective at the job.

She probably got the $150+ level shit and the associated decor.

 

[NoReturn]

That and modern witchcraft is bougie and consumerist as fuck. Most of the rocks they use are expensive, even for tiny less than perfect or unaesthetic shapes.
Tarot decks are pretty pricey as well, despite there being cheaper options that are just as effective at the job.

She probably got the $150+ level shit and the associated decor.

I wonder how long until we see a "witchcraft" MLM scheme, or would that be impossible since most huns are Christian and Mormon?

 

[WinchesterPremium]

I wonder how long until we see a "witchcraft" MLM scheme, or would that be impossible since most huns are Christian and Mormon?

Was that supposed to be a sly suggestion? Because I'm totally in for it.
"Coven Connection: Spread your faith while making money! Why bother with unreliable emoji spells when you can sell our witchcraft equipment to your fellow witches and take a hefty cut for yourself? We realize many of you only intact with others online and have created a business model that allows you to work from home without even needing to talk to anyone outside your pre-existing social circles! Buy your Starter Pack today!"

 

[Wes Bluemarine]

Was that supposed to be a sly suggestion? Because I'm totally in for it.
"Coven Connection: Spread your faith while making money! Why bother with unreliable emoji spells when you can sell our witchcraft equipment to your fellow witches and take a hefty cut for yourself? We realize many of you only intact with others online and have created a business model that allows you to work from home without even needing to talk to anyone outside your pre-existing social circles! Buy your Starter Pack today!"

All donations to the Coven Connection brand gets forwarded to preserving the Kiwi birds in New Zealand.

 

[Dante Alighieri]

I wonder how long until we see a "witchcraft" MLM scheme, or would that be impossible since most huns are Christian and Mormon?

That would just be a rebranded essential oils and Scentsy thing.