A good argument against "duh, humans been getting born outside of hospitals for thousands of years, we still here, lol" Just because we can doesn't mean we shouldn't at least give a fuck if something feels wrong about it.
Edit: My family has a female doggo, her first labour she ran around the house pooping out puppers everywhere when we slept, not even giving the care she should have given, we had to tear two out of the sack, 3 of 6 survived, her second poopering was a lot more controlled and less panicky, all puppers lived because the bitch knew what is happening and what to do.
That's a dog. Humans have access to all the knowledge but hey whatever, let's go back to caves and "go natural".
Birth may be natural but it has always had a high mortality rate for modern humans. Humans have a ridiculously high mortality rates when compared to other mammals thanks evolution giving us big brains/heads but walking upright meant human pelvises too narrow for the big old heads to pass easily pass through. Evolution traded bigger brains for higher mortality, but it obviously paid off.
I’ve had two kids and you’re pretty accurate. One thing I will point out is that women get brainwashed by this “natural is best, water births are best, no drugs... this will be the greatest and most empowering experience of your life!” ideology, before they get pregnant even. (Not all women, but a particular demographic: those who are more educated, more middle class, and more well-informed generally). These women are conditioned to fear hospital births and the “cascade of intervention” which could end in - the horror! - a c section. You only need to look at any parenting forum to see dozens of posts from genuinely distraught women discussing how depressed they are that they failed at birth, failed their babies and failed to achieve what they set out to do. They simply aren’t accustomed to failing at something because that’s never happened to them before.
So although I agree with what you said in the main, I actually don’t think these types of pregnant women desperate to have it their way are nutso Bridezilla types. A need for control comes from a place of fear. Childbirth is awful and shit scary and they’ve been conditioned to believe that hospitals are the scariest places of all.
And the point you made about plans going wrong? Well of course. Babies don’t get the memo that Mama has crystals and essentials oils and so they’d better not have a malpositioned head. But women are told that their bodies are perfectly designed to give birth with no problem (and that their bodies won’t grow a baby that’s too big to birth... lolz) and that laboring at home actually maximises the chances of everything going right.
So although Luna’s mama, and mothers like her, and their irresponsible midwives are stupid and reckless, they are a product of an ideology that’s supposed to empower women but, taken to extremes, actually harms them.
Ive never understood where this boogeyman about hospitals comes from. Any decent OBGYN strongly encourages natural vaginal birth and only performs C-sections when they are medically necessary for health of baby or mother. Epidurals are upon request, doctors usually have a faster delivery without them and the anesthesiologists handle it so they really don’t have any incentive to encourage them. They are at the mothers discretion. A OBGYN my friend worked for refused requested c-sections. Women would come to him early in pregnancy and flat out tell him that’s what they wanted and he would tell them they needed to find another doctor who would accommodate their request because he only performed them when medically necessary.
Now, in the 1990s you had a major increase in c-sections due to three factors, lawsuits, convenience and doctors with big caseloads of Medicaid patients. Doctors running big practices with Medicaid patients meant a big workload and more than a minority of terrible patients with high risk factors - drug users, overweight, very young, painfully stupid, (sometimes all four) etc... They tended to perform more c-sections than needed with this group for a myriad of reasons due to the increased risk factors and bigger paychecks.
Doctors also deal with patients that just show up in labor to the hospital. The doctor had never laid eyes on them before and they likely had no prenatal care. Two years ago I went to see a friend who just had a baby and there was a big commotion on the L&D end of the hall. Later on the nurse told us the police brought in some woman who was high as fuck but also probably in labor. She attacked the nurses in triage. I don’t know how that ended up but that’s the type of shit hospitals get to deal with. The nurse telling us about indicated similar incidents happened a few times a week in this city hospital. ER and doctors and nurses have stories like grizzled combat veterans.
My sister phrases it more professionally, I assure you, when interacting with patients. She encourages them to put all the energy they're putting into screaming into pushing. Making some grunts, groans and noises of exertion are, of course, normal during labor. Even the 'moo'-ing thing some women chose do to can be beneficial. But some women scream like maniacs, like they're auditioning to be a scream queen for Wes Craven. They get more focused on reacting to the pain than pushing, so she (and other nurses & doctors) try to get them to put all the energy & vocalizing (which can exhaust you) into a more productive task. Child birth is terrifying, especially for first time moms & my sister has excellent bedside manner. She's even trained herself not to roll her eyes when women get 'push gifts'.
She's made the constipation comparison to me because (as I'm sure many know) the pushing motion for giving birth and having a bowel movement are very similar. We don't scream when you bear down to take a shit.
I’m going to defend your sister. She’s giving good advice. Focusing the mother away from panic, screaming and hysterics is important. It’s her call how best to do that, some women might need to be coddled and reassured, other you would need to be firm and direct with.
Constipation is the best comparison available both involve focusing on internal muscles to push or expel. It’s a new experience for first time mothers and they can at least relate to what constipation is.
L&D nurses deliver a lot of babies and have a job to do. L&D nurses have to use their empathy when it’s truly needed, holding the hands and support with mother delivering stillborn babies, those with real complications or losing babies. They have tough jobs. It’s also a sought after department so you usually have some of the best nurses on the L&D floor.
Mothers should bring spouses, boyfriends or their family members for emotional support. Nurses will be that support if a mother is alone, but if the mother has a partner there then she can focus on her job - to guide a woman through delivery and monitor the mother and fetus’s vitals. The job a nurse needs to concentrate on typical births is to helping guide the mother using instruction, direction and letting them know what’s occurring. Being firm and direct is needed more often than not. A upset, screaming woman is wasting the energy she needs for birth and it’s very counterproductive. Moaning and yelling during labor pain peaks? Totally normal. The problem is women who scream their heads off, get scared and hysterical. Some women literally try to get up and leave the hospital because “they don’t want to do this”...
Nurses need to have a lot in their wheelhouse on how to cope with each individual woman who starts behaving irrationally or panicking during birth. Some times a drill sergeant is needed, sometimes some soft encouragement, totally depends on the situation and the woman.
