Orbiter Phil’s Weird Body... - Like, WTF? I’ve never seen anything like it.

[Draventren]

I could easily excuse his lack of being able to work with others or have synergy if he would at least be self-reliant and self-sufficient but he has proven over time he doesn't even have that strength. Dude is a total baby who relies on others but yet wants to act like the tough lone wolf type.

That's also something I think team sports helped me develop as a kid too. When you are with a team, you need to be strong for that team since you've got a bunch of other guys you're with that are depending on you as much as you are on them. It's a good sort of pressure that makes you want to be as good as possible and bleeds over into your real life.

 

[Schmeckel]

The sports thing is a hard nut to crack.

Phil has said in the past that he never played sports. Also that he played tee ball. Also he didn't know what tee ball was. Also that he never played competitive sports. Also he played football with his friends. He also played baseball, football, badminton, and was a weightlifter. Phil also said he never learned to ride a bike or swim.

This is all a jumbled mess. If I had to bet money, I would wager Phil never did any sports.

Let's look at the "I hurt my back playing football" story. Who was Phil playing football with? Phil did not interact with people outside of the gaming scene. People who knew Phil in real life said he rarely did anything outside of the gaming tournaments. Are we to believe he had a separate group of friends who played football in the park?

Phil claims to be allergic to the sun and pollen. One afternoon of filming Project7 allegedly almost killed him from being outside. Yet we are supposed to believe he was out running around and playing football.

I'm sure as a kid in school, he HAD to do some sports in PE.

But, I'd wager he was that total spastic that did this full body gyrating just to throw a basketball at the hoop, arms flailing, one leg out behind him, body standing sideways.... We've all seen it.

If he were to throw a football or baseball, it would look more like a shot put than anything. Or, whatever hand you favor, go throw a ball with your off-hand. That's how Phil throws with his "good" hand.

Phil is the kinda guy who would strike out in kickball.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

I'm sure as a kid in school, he HAD to do some sports in PE.

But, I'd wager he was that total spastic that did this full body gyrating just to throw a basketball at the hoop, arms flailing, one leg out behind him, body standing sideways.... We've all seen it.

If he were to throw a football or baseball, it would look more like a shot put than anything. Or, whatever hand you favor, go throw a ball with your off-hand. That's how Phil throws with his "good" hand.

Phil is the kinda guy who would strike out in kickball.

Phil went to a private school. Dox on the primary school has no playground or athletic area. Too small for a gymnasium.

High school was very athletic. Phil was probably given a pass and opted out of any physical activity.

 

[Schmeckel]

Phil went to a private school. Dox on the primary school has no playground or athletic area. Too small for a gymnasium.

High school was very athletic. Phil was probably given a pass and opted out of any physical activity.

High school still requires a PE credit of some sort for graduation, so he HAD to take the class at some point.

 

[Iron Father]

It's not just that he wears old decaying shirts on stream, he regularly looks like an unwashed hobo.

 

[Iron Hamster]

he regularly looks like an unwashed hobo.

Because he is.

 

[Royalty Free Fish Food]

What mahran nudnik detractors like you don't understand is that his bhek is bad or good depending on the concentration of pure Seattle Air in his current vicinity, if the air gets contaminated by Spokane, Tacoma or any other nearby air then it loses its magic touch.

0-10% Seattle Air
The most herniated disc ever recorded in human history, DSP risks breaking his spine if driving in a car for more than 3 minutes, post nasal drip reaching critical levels, snorts are so bad they can be heard across city blocks, all joints in his body become swollen due to gout, DSP forced to waddle around like an Emperor Penguin, can't even carry a gallon of milk without risking permanent injuries, the comb back completely fails to hide his bald spot, goatee becomes completely patchy, Phil is blind as a bat and can't even see past his nose.

11-60% Seattle Air (usual state of affairs)
All of the previously mentioned symptoms are still present. However, their effects are lessened drastically. Phil becomes able to carry a gallon of milk indicating the fact that he is fit.

61-95% Seattle Air
All of the bad effects listed above are lessened even more. Getting that groove back, getting that vibe back. Phil is able to carry heavy objects due to his bad back being almost completely healed. Snorting is down to a complete minimum and the snorts that do occur are very quiet. Gout almost completely cured. 2 gallons of milk can be effortlessly carried. Senses heightened, is able to come out on top as the top ranked US player in any fighting game tournament of his choosing at this very moment.

96-100% Seattle Air (has not yet been reached)
Groove and vibe are on an all time high. DSP gets a luscious mane and a thick beard. His back is completely healed and he gets newfound strength, is able to heave massive boulders and carry multiple gallons of milk without breaking a sweat. Gout and post nasal drip completely cured. Is able to walk like a normal human being now. Can win any fighting game tournament of his choosing by perfecting all of his opponents in every round. Perfect 20/20 vision.

Me and Jane Doe in LSB's Discord did some arts and crafts the other day. She made this new and improved Renton sign.

 

[The Goutsketeer]

 

[Senzawa]

View attachment 1567082

I would hate to see some patchy, balding old man in the mirror every morning so I dunno how the fuck Phil stands looking like that. All his viewers get are scowls and jowls. His stance on life reflected pretty well in his appearance: no goddamn effort whatsoever.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

I have some old shirts too, but I think the difference is I wouldn't wear decade-or-more old shirts while streaming. Just me, but looking like a slob on cam to hundreds if not thousands of people doesn't appeal to me. Maybe the slob look is part of his begging grift.

Phil strikes me as the kind of guy who doesn't like to throw anything away which explains why he's still wearing the same t-shirts as before. But they also serve another purpose namely they're all video game related. It shows he's a gamer and is part of his gamer cred.

I've got a boatload of old t-shirts that are more than 10 years old but they tend to be regulated to workout shirts or things to wear around the home when I don't care what I look like. Like right now. If I had to go out to the store or something, I'd swap it out with something a little less ratty.

 

[Iron Hamster]

Me and Jane Doe in LSB's Discord did some arts and crafts the other day. She made this new and improved Renton sign.

lmao. Fucking Waddles is perfect.

 

[Angry Mug]

So, apparently the ear infection is back. After consulting Doctor Google for a bit, it seems that they tend to be linked to other illness in the nose and/or throat. And they're a lot more common in kids than they are Mature Adults with a Business Degree©. So that's something.

That said though, could there be some kind of other outside influence, like his mucky-ass lifestyle or the absolute state of what his headphones are in.

 

[Freshtodeath]

It seems to be related to your throat from what I read. I think either scenario is possible. He does have a lot of buildup in his throat. But it could also be his nasty ears/headphones. He probably should get a physical and have his throat checked.

 

[TankMelee]

Phil strikes me as the kind of guy who doesn't like to throw anything away which explains why he's still wearing the same t-shirts as before. But they also serve another purpose namely they're all video game related. It shows he's a gamer and is part of his gamer cred.

I've got a boatload of old t-shirts that are more than 10 years old but they tend to be regulated to workout shirts or things to wear around the home when I don't care what I look like. Like right now. If I had to go out to the store or something, I'd swap it out with something a little less ratty.

It doesn't help that he has no social pressure to buy new shirts. So what if his shirt has some stains? He's either streaming (i.e. lounging) or grocery shopping. The only person he interacts with as a theoretical social equal is his wife, and then he's always 'in the home.' When he took Panda or Kat out to eat, it was almost always fast food so he can justify wearing his musty shirts because there's low standards.

 

[Angry Mug]

I've got a boatload of old t-shirts that are more than 10 years old but they tend to be regulated to workout shirts or things to wear around the home when I don't care what I look like. Like right now. If I had to go out to the store or something, I'd swap it out with something a little less ratty.

Went through a whole load of old shirts that I had, if I hadn't worn them in a year, they were out. Kinda liberating to be honest. The stuff that was trashed got purged. Other stuff that was still *fine* but old got donated to this little clothes bank near me. They give you some pocket change by how much they weigh. Nothing amazing but I freed up a LOT of space in my closet and got a couple free lunches out of it.

A lot of them were cringy gamer shit. May have been cool to wear shirt declaring how you defeated all the Master Robots in Megaman 2. But as I'm reaching my middle 30's? Nah.

 

[lavrentiyberia]

Post nasal drip

I'm no doctor, nor have I ever been diagnosed with post-nasal drip, but the way I always understood the term was as a kind of sore throat with a sensation of dripping mucus down the throat. And, as the name implies, the mucus is not snortable, as it's not in your sinuses. Connected to this, I've noticed a disturbing pattern with a lot of the details about DSP's past that don't quite make sense—his helicopter factory job, his bodybuilding career, his back injury: what do they have in common? Dave Burnell Sr. headed up the Continuous Improvement team at Helicopter Support, he was once a bodybuilder, and he has several SEVERELY herniated discs in his back. Dave Jr.'s false resolution of the intense oedipal conflict in the Burnell household seems to have been to simply mistake himself for his father. So my theory on ‘post-nasal drip’ is it's something Dave Sr. mentioned having at one point, and Dave Jr. decided that was the fancy name for his boring old allergies. I think the car accident was also a Dave Sr. event.

 

[Freshtodeath]

I had post nasal drip as a child. Getting tonsils out cured it. But DSP would rather play the victim. I hated playing team sports in HS but i do think it built character like because of running laps at practice i have very good endurance and focus at work. DSP is a baby and cant handle anything so he probably never did shit in high school. Never heard of a valedictorian who didn't either play sports or have all AP classes.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

I'm no doctor, nor have I ever been diagnosed with post-nasal drip, but the way I always understood the term was as a kind of sore throat with a sensation of dripping mucus down the throat. And, as the name implies, the mucus is not snortable, as it's not in your sinuses.

That's exactly it. The clue is in the name. "Post" meaning after or behind so it's the stuff at the back or your nasal passage that drips down. It's like how when you have a mild cold and wake up it the morning because your throat is a little scratchy? That's because of that mucus dripping down your throat. While it can cause you to have to clear your throat, it doesn't mean you snort.

Phil might very have it and it's why he's always clearing his throat but the snorting is something else. Possibly due to all the dust in his game room. And ironically if he were to clean that place up, he might find his snorting to be reduced. But we all know how lazy he is. He's the type to continually snort instead of blowing his nose once in a while because that takes too much effort.

 

[Iron Father]

I don't think the snorting is dust-related. He snorts up a storm in those old hotel room tours iirc. Also he's changed houses and snorted in videos closer to when he first moved in, before any amount of dust build up could really have an impact.

His snorting seems to increase when his allergies kick in (so seasonal), after he eats food, after he sneezes or when he has some kind of flu.

 

[Dizzyuntildeath]

I'm no doctor, nor have I ever been diagnosed with post-nasal drip, but the way I always understood the term was as a kind of sore throat with a sensation of dripping mucus down the throat. And, as the name implies, the mucus is not snortable, as it's not in your sinuses.

Snorting does bring the mucus out of the back of your throat, but it does this thing where it gets caught in a weird place and you have to do this two step reflex to get rid of it (read: put it back in your throat). After you snort, the mucus gets caught in this weird place above the entrance to the lungs, and the body really doesn't like that, so you do this quick thrust of your disgustingly long tongue to force it up into the mouth before immediately swallowing it down with some saliva to deposit it in your gut.

BUT: There is a better way to do this, and a far less offensive way to dislodge the mucus making its way down the back of your throat. normally I charge money to tell people this, but I like you, kid.
You close your mouth and do a quick, quiet cough. When people go "ahem"? That's the sound you make when you're clearing your throat.
But, obviously, real, mature adults snort and hork like fucking primitive beasts.