حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[Philosophy Zombie]

Once again, Chris > Connor.

Chris has had sex. So there's that.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Chris has had sex. So there's that.

Connor is saving himself for Molly Ringwald. And once he writes his magnum opus she's realize what a total Chad he is and come running to be his love slave. Or at least I would think Connor believes that.

Remember he's not interested in writing because he's got a story he needs to tell. He's writing because he wants to be famous, and impress Molly Ringwald.

 

[TV's Adam West]

You dance like those assholes I see
in old Molly Ringwald movies

 

[Picklechu]

I had completely forgotten about how Connor really thought that Molly Ringwald was here posting on Kiwi Farms because Null gave a "verified" tag to a user calling themselves Molly Ringwald. Good times.

 

[Carlos Thin]

I had completely forgotten about how Connor really thought that Molly Ringwald was here posting on Kiwi Farms because Null gave a "verified" tag to a user calling themselves Molly Ringwald. Good times.

Wait, that wasn't Molly Ringwald?

 

[Philosophy Zombie]

Connor is saving himself for Molly Ringwald. And once he writes his magnum opus she's realize what a total Chad he is and come running to be his love slave. Or at least I would think Connor believes that.

If we're being serious here, in my opinion even the worst celebrity simping is marginally less pathetic than losing your virginity to a Craigslist hooker. That's my opinion though.

 

[Kenneth Erwin Engelhardt]

The average adult fiction novel is about 70,000 to 120,000 words. He has written over 54000 words. Let's say he tops out at 75,000 words. He's almost 3/4 of the way done with his novel. Whether it is actually worth publishing is another matter.

 

[The Littlest Shitlord]

Finally, I have answers.

I always assumed that the bizarre non-sequitur line about Eva's dad telling her that her cunt stinks was taken from Connor's dad complaining about the smell of his crotch fungus.

 

[Kenneth Erwin Engelhardt]

If you have crotch fungus that never goes away no matter what you do that could be an indication that you're developing Type 2 Diabetes.

 

[William Shatner]

So, once his novel is out will he adopt a pen name? I have to admit that Connor Bible is a somewhat unique name that wouldn't get buried under google searches... unfortunately it leads to this place.

 

[Philosophy Zombie]

If you have crotch fungus that never goes away no matter what you do that could be an indication that you're developing Type 2 Diabetes.

Assuming you know that from experience, is the fungus treatable?

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

The average adult fiction novel is about 70,000 to 120,000 words. He has written over 54000 words. Let's say he tops out at 75,000 words. He's almost 3/4 of the way done with his novel. Whether it is actually worth publishing is another matter.

Knowing Connor he's going to attempt to go the self-published way once the rejection letters start piling up. It's something that anybody who's tried to write for a living needs to come to accept. You will get rejected. A lot. And then, as you continue to improve, the form letters will have hand written notes on them. It's a step up that the editor saw a glimmer of hope in your writing. The next step is getting a personalized, typed, letter where the editor took the time to respond to you directly. This means they liked it but it's not up to their standards or there's issues with what you wrote. If you can power through all that, improving where you can, eventually you might get published.

Based on Connor's previous works however? He's going to be getting form letter after form letter saying, "thank you for your submission but it doesn't meet our requirements at this time. Thank you."

 

[Philosophy Zombie]

Are you still giving money to dickgirls on Twitch, Kengle?

 

[Carlos Thin]

Knowing Connor he's going to attempt to go the self-published way once the rejection letters start piling up. It's something that anybody who's tried to write for a living needs to come to accept. You will get rejected. A lot. And then, as you continue to improve, the form letters will have hand written notes on them. It's a step up that the editor saw a glimmer of hope in your writing. The next step is getting a personalized, typed, letter where the editor took the time to respond to you directly. This means they liked it but it's not up to their standards or there's issues with what you wrote. If you can power through all that, improving where you can, eventually you might get published.

Based on Connor's previous works however? He's going to be getting form letter after form letter saying, "thank you for your submission but it doesn't meet our requirements at this time. Thank you."

He could always go the 150iq Andrew Dobson route and purchase an ISBN number for his book

 

[lolwut]

The average adult fiction novel is about 70,000 to 120,000 words. He has written over 54000 words. Let's say he tops out at 75,000 words. He's almost 3/4 of the way done with his novel. Whether it is actually worth publishing is another matter.

...You're not dead?

 

[The Littlest Shitlord]

As it happens, he has. I'm a bit surprised, although I probably shouldn't be. He's been under the radar for god knows how long. I haven't forgotten him mostly because my brain is stuck in 2016 and I don't have the ambition to learn about whatever new lolcows have popped up in the last four fucking years. Fortunately for him my autism knows no bounds and I'll probably stalk him until he dies.

He should be grateful. You're the only woman who will ever be obsessed with him, with the possible exception of his mom.

If you have crotch fungus that never goes away no matter what you do that could be an indication that you're developing Type 2 Diabetes.

It could also be autistic vitamin A and zinc deficiency. Zinc is needed to fight infections as well as to absorb and use vitamin A, which in turn is necessary for healthy skin. People with autism have an imbalanced zinc/copper ratio with low zinc/high copper, which causes vitamin A deficiency as well. Supplementing with zinc, vitamin A, and NAC (N-acetyl cysteine) can all help with chronic fungal infections, especially in autistic people because they have problems producing enough cysteine on their own. Of course, this is Connor we are talking about, so it is probably both.

 

[Ducky!]

Six years to get a two year degree AND he's getting his first real job afterwards? There's slacking and then there's Connor.

I could understand taking three or four years, especially if you're doing it part-time because you're working, but how the fuck do you take six whole years to get an Associates degree when you're not actually doing anything else? People have gotten their Masters in that time and that includes the time necessary to get your Bachelors.

It’s Connor, what else would you expect from an autist? Honestly, I’m pretty shocked he got a degree. Good for you Connor. Maybe by 2030 you can have a bachelors!

 

[Trombonista]

It’s Connor, what else would you expect from an autist? Honestly, I’m pretty shocked he got a degree. Good for you Connor. Maybe by 2030 you can have a bachelors!

Come on, we all know he's not going to a university.

 

[MysticMisty]

I'm just impressed he got it at all, given his terminal laziness for everything besides trying to look like an intellectual and writer online and frequent masturbation to bellybuttons.

I don't know how he could realistically work, though. Even if you got him a job away from computers (and smart phones) he'd still have the terminal laziness to overcome.

 

[Kenneth Erwin Engelhardt]

I suggested to Connor that he should check out any community theaters and see if can audition for something with an amateur theater group or maybe get involved with a local drama or acting club on Meetup maybe put on a few plays for family/friends. I'm no actor or anything but suppose you were in his shoes and you wanted to find someway to get your portfolio off the ground. Wouldn't this be a good place to start?

Having said this, I don't think he is fully aware of what it means to step into the public spotlight as a prominent celebrity. It's one thing about Molly Ringwald's bellybutton on a forum. It's quite another matter when it's in the National Enquirer.