🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

[Gold Star Commissar]

we need the gunts diameter, or whatever an ellipse has, use the relation of the vape to his hand to get a rough estimate of the gunts diameter then we can get volume and area relative to his weight

LMAO, that was actually what I was thinking about (using his hand / vape) when Melty proposed the idea.

 

[MeltyTW]

Recheck that post, I edited. It’s actually smaller yet, looks to be the 100w variant.

Dimensions:
View attachment 1586004

the one on the show seems different from the one on the beach though, with the blue decor the zeus looks closer to ralph's pod

so i stacked the pods lazily and the figure i got with 2.3 inches is 5'3

i also didnt bother to space them so he's at most 5'3

 

[ClipBitch]

The vape is an innocent party, please don't dox it.

 

[Civilizing Forces]

LMAO, that was actually what I was thinking about (using his hand / vape) when Melty proposed the idea.

I can do it after class shouldn't be to difficult but I don't really want to do it

 

[AltisticRight]

So did Ralph get a vape smaller then his dick so he wont feel inadequate?

2.3 > 1

 

[Buffalo Chicken Sandwich]

Why are we trying to research Ethan's vape?

 

[MeltyTW]

Why are we trying to research Ethan's vape?

so we can compare it to him and get his height

 

[Hüftpriester]

View attachment 1585917
Maybe Ralph was simply poking and sniffing that butthole in preparation to birth the world's first heterosexual anal guntlet.

He hires gaydor to follow the science.

LOL that’s the Hitler did nothing wrong guy. Used to actually be funny before turning into a Fuentes dickrider. I’m sure gator doesn’t think any less of him tho

 

[Gold Star Commissar]

Why are we trying to research Ethan's vape?

Ethan’s vape has a particular set of skills—in that we now know its exact size. Through it, and the power of autism, we can find out all sorts of fun details about the Gunt’s physical attributes.

Edit: Speaking of, does anyone have a static picture of him holding his current vape?

 

[Mulp]

View attachment 1585634
No offence to Snorlax.

 

[AltisticRight]

the one on the show seems different from the one on the beach though, with the blue decor the zeus looks closer to ralph's pod

so i stacked the pods lazily and the figure i got with 2.3 inches is 5'3
View attachment 1586010
i also didnt bother to space them so he's at most 5'3

You're unlikely going to get a good measurement due to this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perspective_distortion_(photography)
It's a phone image and moderately wide, that shit in the back will appear a lot smaller.
I'd say it's easier to use the buttons on his shirt, or find the sunglasses. They are on a similar focal plane, so accuracy is almost guaranteed.

If there's actually exif data, which twitter strips from images, then calculating his height is a matter of simple mathematics. Maybe reach out to cog to see if he can mega.nz that shit.
Or just accept that the Gunt is 5'1. It's the official measurement anyway. We love our cops, our law enforcement. They can't make mistakes.

 

[Guntkvd]

Cog is playing the clip right now if someone interested.

 

[Horus]

The measuring his height based on the vape pen is a funny endeavor in and of itself, but won't his mugshot or jail records have his height?

 

[Big Bad Wart]

I had a different first thought, but I don't think I can pull it off. Here's a supplement instead.

Edit: To clarify, the second image is what I wanted to edit. Anyone ambitious to undertake the task?

Tried.

edit: couldn't find of faith looking downward and crying or I would have added her head

 

[Civilizing Forces]

The measuring his height based on the vape pen is a funny endeavor in and of itself, but won't his mugshot or jail records have his height?

he denies the height there 5 foot 1
EDIT the rough estimate with the box mod seems to prove our hypothesis that he is around 5'1 or a manlet

 

[AltisticRight]

he denies the height there 5 foot 1

He claims it's 5'9.
X

 

[Guntkvd]

So Failure leaked this clip? Wonder why.
I hope CRP also will release the Miami gunt tape.

 

[Captain Manning]

It's probably going to get Gunted, knowing that the Gunt hires gayder to browse the thread.

Is hire really the correct term to use here?

Chicken tendies and asspats are neither specie, fiat, or crypto. To the best of my knowledge.

Great video, either way.

 

[Perspicacity]

Ralph deleting evidence, PunishedRalph YT account is now gone. Haven't seen this mentioned in here yet.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUkajYAjjHeqLiSxbkwSrqQ

 

[ClipBitch]

The lore so far. I'll be jotting down all the fun tidbits I hear and updating this post as necessary.

1. Ralph got blasted at the beach cabana. No alcohol is safe from this man.
2. Random normies were concerned and wanted to call the police on the beached ralphamale.
3. A police officer told them they'd get in trouble if they didn't get the fat alcoholic off the beach.
4. Dealing with this drunk loser was apparently a daily event for his poor tard wranglers.
5. Ag found two bottles of booze hidden under the cabinet when searching for a towel.
6. The gunt terrified a hooker with his visage while he was married.
7. Andy knew about Ralph and his hooker. Didn't share the epic lore with us because he's a pussy.
8. Failure and Alex claim that Andy got a hooker, too. I don't care but lore is lore so whatever.
9. Andy's ex-boyfriend, Geekthulu, is in cogs chat dropping his own secret lore.