Inactive Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"

Weirdly enough, I have you covered there. Shmorky had me stomp on a bag of Asian snacks in stiletto heels so he could film it and put it on his Vine as an attempt at surrealist humor I guess.
Right here

Its shocking that is one of the lesser weird things I read of Shmorky doing. Man... every story you have makes that house sound so insanely fucked up.

Lowtax really shouldn't be around his kids, imo.
 
LOL at that stupid picture of the black woman smiling on the phone. Richard seems to really love having it around. I know that it shows off his wacky and zany side but it’s just dumb to hang onto it for several years like he has.

And the Robocop last supper painting. Sure he threw a shitfit on the forums when people didn't find it as funny as he did.
 
Weirdly enough, I have you covered there. Shmorky had me stomp on a bag of Asian snacks in stiletto heels so he could film it and put it on his Vine as an attempt at surrealist humor I guess. I'm pretty sure Lowtax was there when we filmed that. This was when I bought a bunch of over the top high heels I found at Missouri Goodwills and would wear them around the office.

Right here
You are a gentlewoman and a scholar.
 
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Those Kiwis with fb should be on the lookout for Lowtax gloating. A bench trial for Ashley's divorce and a hearing for the temporary restraining order were scheduled to be held this morning. We can surmise that it went poorly if he's silent about it and wait for the inevitable pill + box wine induced pity party some time in the next week or two.

edit. The bench trial was rescheduled. The hearing for the restraining order looks like it was held.
lowtax court update.png
 
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Those Kiwis with fb should be on the lookout for Lowtax gloating. A bench trial for Ashley's divorce and a hearing for the temporary restraining order were scheduled to be held this morning. We can surmise that it went poorly if he's silent about it and wait for the inevitable pill + box wine induced pity party some time in the next week or two.

edit. The bench trial was rescheduled. The hearing for the restraining order looks like it was held.
View attachment 1582737
whats wrong with you? like what mental illness?
 
^^Wtf, is he using the 'don't blink for over however many minutes' method of inducing tears? Has he taken acting classes in the past, or is he a fan of Stefan Molyneux vids?
Anyway, he's making a perfect irl version of that meme crying face, especially it's latest Dick Masterson version. Kudos on this performance art @Lowtax
LOL at that stupid picture of the black woman smiling on the phone. Richard seems to really love having it around. I know that it shows off his wacky and zany side but it’s just dumb to hang onto it for several years like he has.

If memory serves, that was a commission from Brandon Bird.


Too poor to upgrade forums or get search working, enough cash for $60 cookies and commissioning artworks. Lolzers.
His devotion and love of kitsch style artwork and home decor is like that of a stereotypically flamboyant nerd homosexual. Add to this his preference of tranny porn, fringe sexual deviance/fetishism, narcissism, etc.
There may be a goon-friendly reason he hates the company of women beyond maid service, bearing children, and massaging his ego. I would advise him to express this on the forums to fix his financial issues
 
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LOL at that stupid picture of the black woman smiling on the phone. Richard seems to really love having it around. I know that it shows off his wacky and zany side but it’s just dumb to hang onto it for several years like he has.

I like to imagine LowT gets shitfaced and talks to it, like Nixon and the WH portrait of Lincoln
 
Weirdly enough, I have you covered there. Shmorky had me stomp on a bag of Asian snacks in stiletto heels so he could film it and put it on his Vine as an attempt at surrealist humor I guess. I'm pretty sure Lowtax was there when we filmed that. This was when I bought a bunch of over the top high heels I found at Missouri Goodwills and would wear them around the office.

Right here

Who was doing the voice? Doesn’t sound high pitched enough for Shmork.
 
Who was doing the voice? Doesn’t sound high pitched enough for Shmork.
That would be me. I had a considerably lower voice than Shmorky, which is probably why he tried so hard to get his voice pitch higher and higher. He was always in competition with women around him. You should have seen him at the one convention we attended together, Small Press Expo '14, he was a fucking nightmare the entire time. It was fucking Caligula in that room. Just one giant troon beauty contest. There were more troons than real women. I'm having 'Nam style flashbacks about it right now. It was the largest collection I've ever seen of the rudest people I've ever interacted with. The attitude of everyone there can be best described as the culmination of every 'Heathers' lunch table at every high school school in this nation.

Most of the "artists" I met there are probably people who have their own threads on here. As far as I remember, I met that black chick 'Spike' who runs 'Smut Peddler Comics', or whatever it's called. GlitchedPuppet - which then led me to having the most surreal 4th Wall breaking moment of my life when I saw a furry catlike character named after me (but slightly misspelled for plausible deniability) in one of His?Her? comics saying exact words that I had written from my own projects. Erika Moen I believe was there but we never crossed paths. I met KC Greene, who was actually normal and pretty cool, and some troon with long red hair who was loud and obnoxious as fuck and got married to comics. Just, the concept of comics. They brought a priest in and everything. All the artists were charactures of eccentric people you'd see depicted in Frasier, if the writers of Frasier watched their families die in a car fire.

And Shmorky was the same damn way. He made me do all the work at the table. All of it. Greetings, sales, making change, autograph requests. At least when he felt like signing autographs. He was rude to every customer, and when I told him 'the least you could do is smile at people', he gave me a dressing down about how it's very misogynist to insist that women should smile. So I just did all the work and we made $1700 or so over those two nights while Shmorky sat there looking miserable while men, some of them teenage boys, in dresses fawned and SIMPed over him. Frighteningly enough, yes, there were some kids and teens there. A lot of them were cosplaying Pokemon or cartoon characters. Despite the fact this was absolutely not a child-friendly event as a lot of the artists there were cartoon pornographers who often depicted very child-like colorful characters sucking each other's dicks and openly selling this content at their tables.

I turned out to be the wet blanket of the whole affair because I refused to go to the afterparty. Shmorky and I were invited to go to dinner with Spike and some of the others (Glitched Puppet may have been there too) because they were the most arrogant, snotty bastards I'd ever (tried) to talk to. I tried introducing myself and joining in on their conversation, but they just talked right the fuck over me like 'whose white cis bitch this is?' So I stormed back off to the hotel room. In retrospect, I am very, very glad I did not witness what that afterparty entailed because there may have been some goddamn Eyes Wide Shut shit happening in the penthouse and there were enough underage kids there to go around. Also a WHOLE LOTTA ADDERAL, among other things like Ecstacy. Even I bought some weed off a guy. Mostly to make interfacing with all of Shmorky's friends and fans tolerable.

I don't know if we have a thread on here about an obnoxious redheaded troon comic artist who makes art on dollar bills and sells them to people (which I believe is technically not legal) But that guy needs to be checked out, whoever he is. He was the biggest deal of the whole convention. I lowkey wondered if he made the dollar bill art for people to then be used for snorting the Addy. Even Shmorky was fawning over him and made me go ask him for an autographed comic because he was too scared to face him himself. Waited in line over and hour for that shit.

Sorry for rambling about my experience at the Small Press Expo, but I swear to God some Kiwi should go undercover and check that shit out one day. It's like the Bohemian Grove of lolcows.

Again I thank my lucky stars that I didn't attend that afterparty because Shmorky stated clearly and emphatically multiple times in our relationship that he would be A-OK with getting cucked, or having a polyamorous relationship. And he was real fucking upset he couldn't get up in that troon fuckpile. Because I also emphatically stated that this is not how this works. This is not how any of this works. At least I actually stayed faithful, and wasn't in a separate room grooming teenage girls. And it's a damn good thing I put my foot down that night because that would have been one of the only nights Shmorky would have had clear, unsupervised access to minors that worshiped him.

That's also probably why he didn't mind Lowtax giving me gifts all the time, but I just found it all very insulting. I find the whole idea of cucking to be insulting to women. Why would you not care that your man doesn't care who fucks you? It's the opposite of a female power fantasy. Women want to be fought over and be the object of envy, not indifference. I don't get it. But I don't get why he wore a fucking yarn wig either.
 
That would be me. I had a considerably lower voice than Shmorky, which is probably why he tried so hard to get his voice pitch higher and higher. He was always in competition with women around him. You should have seen him at the one convention we attended together, Small Press Expo '14, he was a fucking nightmare the entire time. It was fucking Caligula in that room. Just one giant troon beauty contest. There were more troons than real women. I'm having 'Nam style flashbacks about it right now. It was the largest collection I've ever seen of the rudest people I've ever interacted with. The attitude of everyone there can be best described as the culmination of every 'Heathers' lunch table at every high school school in this nation.

Most of the "artists" I met there are probably people who have their own threads on here. As far as I remember, I met that black chick 'Spike' who runs 'Smut Peddler Comics', or whatever it's called. GlitchedPuppet - which then led me to having the most surreal 4th Wall breaking moment of my life when I saw a furry catlike character named after me (but slightly misspelled for plausible deniability) in one of His?Her? comics saying exact words that I had written from my own projects. Erika Moen I believe was there but we never crossed paths. I met KC Greene, who was actually normal and pretty cool, and some troon with long red hair who was loud and obnoxious as fuck and got married to comics. Just, the concept of comics. They brought a priest in and everything. All the artists were charactures of eccentric people you'd see depicted in Frasier, if the writers of Frasier watched their families die in a car fire.

And Shmorky was the same damn way. He made me do all the work at the table. All of it. Greetings, sales, making change, autograph requests. At least when he felt like signing autographs. He was rude to every customer, and when I told him 'the least you could do is smile at people', he gave me a dressing down about how it's very misogynist to insist that women should smile. So I just did all the work and we made $1700 or so over those two nights while Shmorky sat there looking miserable while men, some of them teenage boys, in dresses fawned and SIMPed over him. Frighteningly enough, yes, there were some kids and teens there. A lot of them were cosplaying Pokemon or cartoon characters. Despite the fact this was absolutely not a child-friendly event as a lot of the artists there were cartoon pornographers who often depicted very child-like colorful characters sucking each other's dicks and openly selling this content at their tables.

I turned out to be the wet blanket of the whole affair because I refused to go to the afterparty. Shmorky and I were invited to go to dinner with Spike and some of the others (Glitched Puppet may have been there too) because they were the most arrogant, snotty bastards I'd ever (tried) to talk to. I tried introducing myself and joining in on their conversation, but they just talked right the fuck over me like 'whose white cis bitch this is?' So I stormed back off to the hotel room. In retrospect, I am very, very glad I did not witness what that afterparty entailed because there may have been some goddamn Eyes Wide Shut shit happening in the penthouse and there were enough underage kids there to go around. Also a WHOLE LOTTA ADDERAL, among other things like Ecstacy. Even I bought some weed off a guy. Mostly to make interfacing with all of Shmorky's friends and fans tolerable.

I don't know if we have a thread on here about an obnoxious redheaded troon comic artist who makes art on dollar bills and sells them to people (which I believe is technically not legal) But that guy needs to be checked out, whoever he is. He was the biggest deal of the whole convention. I lowkey wondered if he made the dollar bill art for people to then be used for snorting the Addy. Even Shmorky was fawning over him and made me go ask him for an autographed comic because he was too scared to face him himself. Waited in line over and hour for that shit.

Sorry for rambling about my experience at the Small Press Expo, but I swear to God some Kiwi should go undercover and check that shit out one day. It's like the Bohemian Grove of lolcows.

Again I thank my lucky stars that I didn't attend that afterparty because Shmorky stated clearly and emphatically multiple times in our relationship that he would be A-OK with getting cucked, or having a polyamorous relationship. And he was real fucking upset he couldn't get up in that troon fuckpile. Because I also emphatically stated that this is not how this works. This is not how any of this works. At least I actually stayed faithful, and wasn't in a separate room grooming teenage girls. And it's a damn good thing I put my foot down that night because that would have been one of the only nights Shmorky would have had clear, unsupervised access to minors that worshiped him.

That's also probably why he didn't mind Lowtax giving me gifts all the time, but I just found it all very insulting. I find the whole idea of cucking to be insulting to women. Why would you not care that your man doesn't care who fucks you? It's the opposite of a female power fantasy. Women want to be fought over and be the object of envy, not indifference. I don't get it. But I don't get why he wore a fucking yarn wig either.

what the fuck
 
This is some great goon lore.
Glitchedpuppet (is he/she a goon?) was acquaintences with Shmorky and we only bumped into each other once, and then she started having this character named "Amdusias" (I go by the moniker 'Amadeus', just as I did at the SPX con). I would have passed it up as coincidence if there weren't strikingly eerie similarities between scripts I have written and used when I worked for Niteflirt and such. I've probably said the script a hundred times and recorded it a hundred more, but it's so fucking weird to think that Glitchedpuppet could have done some light digging and called me up. What a fucking weird crossover.

Here's a panel from one of the comics that mentions "Amdusias" and my scripts. I will link the rest below because it contains explicit visuals of rainbow enchanted pony cock and cat scientist reacharounds.
GlitchedPuppet1.JPG
Full Comic
 
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