Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

[Chan Fan]

Lol a little brother of mine wanted to juggle (potatoes) to the tune of "Pokémon (Dance Mix)" (when we had the cassette tape) in elementary school. I think he actually did the audition, but obviously never made it in. I have no idea what he was thinking.

Also am holding you to your word @Chan Fan of converting the "Rumpshaker" vid someday.

I will! No one expressed interest so I'll be doing it just for you

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

I'll be talking about the latter of the two.

but what about the haunted theater?

 

[Chan Fan]

but what about the haunted theater?

That's more of an in-person story, there are things I would need to imitate. Sadly that one will go untold here *hugs

 

[Kiwifarmsname]

In 2nd grade this severely special needs pre-mature kid had his Mom come in and do a lecture for him, she was clearly a hooker and smelled like cigs and pot, she show'd us baby and placenta images.

 

[Monika H.]

Our Economy teacher would go out for hours to go and have a coffee at the nearby bar, or even go to the cafeteria to eat something.
We had like 4 hours of Economy non-stop some days so no one stopped him when he wanted to go on break.

 

[weed weenus]

I attended an hilariously violent comprehensive school in the UK.

We were once taught how to use the lathes in metalwork class and immediately put this newfound practical skill to use by manufacturing throwing stars.

One of the walls to the building that housed the swimming pool was wooden, and was deemed a suitable venue for target practice. We lined up in front of it after school, the blood of our ancient ninja ancestry stirring in our young veins. Our makeshift shurikens made a pleasing sound as their points embedded themselves in the wood.

There was a boy called Timothy, who was later suspended for taking a shit in one of the lockers, in the portacabin where our form was based. I will never forget the horrifying moment when he bent down to pick a throwing star off the ground, and another throwing star slammed into the wall where his head had been a fraction of a second before.

That sounds like something that could have easily ended up like this:

Spoiler

 

[Empty]

It was the year 1999, high school. I had a classmate who was a VCR recording hobbyist, and occasionally I asked him for some stuff to record from TV channels on a VHS. I once asked him to record several Sonic Underground episodes on a tape, because then my 12 year old brother was a huge Sonic fan and wanted to collect some tapes with the cartoon. He agreed to do so, but it turned out I chose the completely wrong time for such a request. My classmate was also asked by his friend to record some porn flick from a *don't-recall-its-name* TV channel, because he eventually got a date with some girl tonight and wanted to score with her. Because of that, my classmate had to give away two VHS copies on the same day. The funniest thing about this case is what I had no idea about all this at all, until that goddamned day: once I received my copy and came back from school, I was going to watch the tape just to check out if everything is alright. Once I put the tape into the video player and played the tape, I got a footage of a lady sucking some dude's dick, and I outrageously screamed at the TV with the "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT??!!!" line. My brother has heard this and ran into my scream, and thank God I managed to turn off the video player before he walked into my room. He asked me what happened, to which I answered: "Bro, that's not Sonic". I was fucking mad at my retarded classmate and even wanted to beat the shit out of him. Fortunately for him, when I met him at school his face was literally covered with of bunch of bruises and plasters. He immediately said: "Yeah, yeah, I know I fucked up, man, I'm so sorry". I asked him what happened to his face, and he was like: "My mate has gone mad at me, because I promised him a hot porn tape he would watch with his girlfriend this night, but fuck no, it was Sonic! What a mischance, goddammit". After this, I thought he had enough and decided to not start the conflict.

 

[OvercookedBacon]

Was eating lunch with some upperclassmen friends when a loud WHACK echoes across the cafeteria. Then another. And another. Lunchgoers promptly start a chorus of OHHHHs. I turn around to see what's going on, and one of the freshmen is beating the shit out of one of my fellow sophomores WWF style with one of those plastic lunch trays that has the metal center. After about ten seconds of this the junior varsity football coach gets up, just tackles the lunch tray wielder and drags him to the principal's office.

From hearsay, the kid was tired of being called such lovely things as "cancer lips" or "cancer mouth", and decided to enact revenge.

The funniest part wasn't until that afternoon, when the principal calls the entire student body into the auditorium for assembly. She's pacing back and forth on the stage, very obviously furious. If this were a cartoon steam would be shooting out of her ears. "Today at lunch - DON'T LAUGH! - one of our students was beaten with a lunch tray ... " Auditorium collectively bursts into laughter. "IF YOU LAUGH, I'M GETTING SCHOOL SECURITY TO TAKE YOU TO THE OFFICE!!"

Had to cover my face with my backpack in my lap because fuck it, that was the funniest thing that happened all year.

(Edited to add approximate date: 2001 or so?)

 

[Clovis]

Small children's act of rebellion: block sink, shit in sink, fill sink with ink. Run and tell the caretaker the sink is full of ink. Childish hilarity ensues when the kindly old man reaches in, bare handed.
Actually...children are horrible. No wonder they hit us.

 

[Broseph]

Oh god I have so many stupid moments to talk about.
- A kid got sent to the principal's office and so on the way he tried to slam the door. He kinda screwed it up and the slam wasn't that loud so he walks back into class and then re-slams the door. I remember finding it really funny because he looked so happy with himself.
- I got sent to the principals for bullying because I told a kid to go away. He kept looking over my shoulder at the book I was reading and I told him to stop. The principal told me to try and be friends with him but I never even spoke to him again.
- This ones the best one honestly, a personal lolcow. "He" was in my Multicultural Studies class and sat behind me for a few weeks. One day they asked if I would join the LGBT club because I made a passing comment about being a fag. I said yes because honestly I felt bad, mistakes were made. Not a single biological male was in that club, even though that school had lots of gay dudes. All lesbians, asexuals, or nonbinarys so I stood out. At these clubs you have to introduce with your sexuality and pronouns. I forget her sexulaity but I do remember her pronouns. He/him and Fae/Faer. I never went back to the club. They would also rudely correct my teacher with the "right" pronouns, even though she didn't even try to pass. I moved to the back of the class to avoid her because would always try to talk to me during class. Our class took a field trip to China Town and they insisted in bringing a walking cane, they used it all day. I wasn't there to see it but they yelled at an assembly by calling the speaker homophobic. Why? Because they made a joke about Chick-fil-A. They were a senior so I only got to witness their stupidity for one year, I was a sophomore. I wish I got to see more honestly...

Edit: Forgot to mention that their new name sounded like a chicks name even though they said they were a dude, that it all

Reading this makes me really glad that I was in high school way before it became "hip" for kids to troon out.

 

[Masta]

So senior year in high school, I take my best friend to prom, a girl, because I’m still closeted faggot, she agreed.
My parents gave me $150 to take her out to eat, flowers, prom pictures, and what not
Prom went well and I spent $50 on some nice pictures.

However though, after prom was a disaster..
My best friend insisted on seeing some random guys afterwards.
She ends up doing meth, making out with this guy ferociously, sucking this guys dick, all while I drive these dudes to some other house.
I’m pissed off for agreeing to this shit, afterwards, I dropped the two dudes off, and my best friend was trying to comfort me, and said, let’s go eat at ihop, because it’s like 3 AM, plus I’m total fatass at the time.
I was 17 and it’s my first-year driving, plus it’s dark outside. The gps had a go right, so I went right, and I ended up getting my mom’s car’s tire stuck in rail road tracks.
We called the police, spent the rest of my money calling a toll truck driver to get the car out.
I was super panicked that i fucked up my mom’s new car, but all the scrap damage, when it was pulled, was underneath, so you could barley tell.
I dropped my friend home, I was severely depressed at 5 AM just wishing I had an actual date.
My parents to this day still don’t know I fucked up that night.

Lesson learned though, don’t be a simp, and say no.

 

[MysticMisty]

Reading this makes me really glad that I was in high school way before it became "hip" for kids to start trooning out.

Same here. When I was in high school was when lezzing out was big, or getting there. The result was either a girl "dating" another girl they referred to as their "wife", but without any kissing, hugging, or anything beyond the kind of contact you'd see in friends.

Or you'd get a girl dating a guy and another girl (who was also a "wife"), but the difference here was that the "wife" would usually also have a boyfriend, and the two girls would openly cuck their boyfriends out in public. Typically by completely ignoring their boyfriends and having the kind of make out session you'd see in Girls Gone Wild or some other lesbian porn. The guys would just watch with an expression indicating they thought they were getting a private show, and she'll definitely pay attention to him later for sure.

Between this and the mental illness pissing contests ramping up at the same time, this was probably the major forerunner to the insanity we see today, just not as extreme.

 

[FitBitch]

Kid in 6th grade threw a piece of gum and it stuck to the ceiling. Teacher never let him move his desk. 100 days into school it fell on his binder and he put it back in his mouth.

 

[Chan Fan]

It was the year 1999, high school. I had a classmate who was a VCR recording hobbyist, and occasionally I asked him for some stuff to record from TV channels on a VHS. I once asked him to record several Sonic Underground episodes on a tape, because then my 12 year old brother was a huge Sonic fan and wanted to collect some tapes with the cartoon. He agreed to do so, but it turned out I chose the completely wrong time for such a request. My classmate was also asked by his friend to record some porn flick from a *don't-recall-its-name* TV channel, because he eventually got a date with some girl tonight and wanted to score with her. Because of that, my classmate had to give away two VHS copies on the same day. The funniest thing about this case is what I had no idea about all this at all, until that goddamned day: once I received my copy and came back from school, I was going to watch the tape just to check out if everything is alright. Once I put the tape into the video player and played the tape, I got a footage of a lady sucking some dude's dick, and I outrageously screamed at the TV with the "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT??!!!" line. My brother has heard this and ran into my scream, and thank God I managed to turn off the video player before he walked into my room. He asked me what happened, to which I answered: "Bro, that's not Sonic". I was fucking mad at my retarded classmate and even wanted to beat the shit out of him. Fortunately for him, when I met him at school his face was literally covered with of bunch of bruises and plasters. He immediately said: "Yeah, yeah, I know fucked up, man, I'm so sorry". I asked him what happened to his face, and he was like: "My mate has gone mad at me, because I promised him a hot porn tape he would watch with his girlfriend this night, but fuck no, it was Sonic! What a mischance, goddammit". After this, I thought he had enough and decided to not start the conflict.

I had a similar misfortune but no where near as bad - you win

 

[FitBitch]

When I was a senior in high school several of my classmates became registered sex offenders and it all started because some dickhead took a shit in some other dickheads shoe.

So Shoeshitter was a senior (1 and his girlfriend at the time was a freshman (14). This is already really fucked up but it's a small rural community and no one seems to mind because they're both still in high school. Shoeshitter had some pictures from his girlfriend on his phone.

Well, Shoeshitter did what Shoeshitters do and took a shit in a fellow sportsball teammates shoe. This wasn't going to stand with Sportsball boy and he stole Shoeshitters phone where he found those pictures of Shoeshitters girlfriend. "Well," thought Sportsball boy, "wouldn't it be so funny if other people got to see Shoeshitters girlfriend this is flawless revenge." And Sportball boy sent those pictures in a mass text to everyone in Shoeshitters contacts.

I had no clue what was happening until there were police officers on my bus confiscating phones before we could all head for home. I didn't own a phone at the time.

Anyone 18 or older who was sent those images and saved them to their phone was busted for possession of child porn and got put on the sex offender registry. It's pretty fucked up.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

One of the kids from class stole his dad credit card a few times and used it to buy porn movies on pay per view. He taped them on vhs and labelled the tapes stuff like "zinedine zidanes best goals" "france vs brazil" but the most famous one was a hardcore porno he labelled "Black Hawk Down"

For weeks I kept hearing the other kids talking about Black Hawk Down and could not understand why the fuck were they so obsessed over that movie. They would always be begging the kid to borrow his Black Hawk Down tape even though that movie played a lot on tv and everyone must have seen it several times already. I was eventually clued in after much inquiring and giggling on why that was, I felt very stupid.

 

[Kiyoshi's Wristbrace]

Same here. When I was in high school was when lezzing out was big, or getting there. The result was either a girl "dating" another girl they referred to as their "wife", but without any kissing, hugging, or anything beyond the kind of contact you'd see in friends.

Or you'd get a girl dating a guy and another girl (who was also a "wife"), but the difference here was that the "wife" would usually also have a boyfriend, and the two girls would openly cuck their boyfriends out in public. Typically by completely ignoring their boyfriends and having the kind of make out session you'd see in Girls Gone Wild or some other lesbian porn. The guys would just watch with an expression indicating they thought they were getting a private show, and she'll definitely pay attention to him later for sure.

Between this and the mental illness pissing contests ramping up at the same time, this was probably the major forerunner to the insanity we see today, just not as extreme.

It's all so obvious in hindsight.

But the whole "I'M SO SPECIAL AND GAY" thing teens adopt is hardly unique to any specific generation.

 

[Chan Fan]

This is the closest I ever was to a fighting breaking out (witnessing the fight, not being in one.) This was maybe 8 feet away from me and a friend who were talking before class one morning in high school. A bunch of us would get there early and hang out by the entrance and greet people with hugs as they came in. One of the guys I was close friends with was 6 feet 5 inches tall, not what you'd call athletic but strong and able-bodied for sure. So this short guy walks up to my very tall friend, who was sitting on a non-functioning heat/AC vent. Short guy says, with a smile on his face, "I heard you said something to [girl's name] and she's my friend, and you'd better not do it again or you'll have to deal with me." Without a word, tall friend stands up, his height towering over the short guy, and open palm slaps him across the face. It was LOUD and everyone stopped talking and turned to see what was happening. I jumped, hearing the loud sound from such close range. Tall guy punches the guy about five times, not even that fast, all the while short guy cowered and covered his head and was yelling after each punch. Security walked up and grabbed tall guy, taking him to the office. Short guy was hurt but mostly just his pride, never taking a swing at the guy he just threatened

 

[OvercookedBacon]

Rumor had it that the vo-tech principal was fucking some of the female student body.

 

[Lucifer's Rectum]

I've got some stories from different points in my life, but I'll start with this kid I went to high school with since he showed up on my Facebook feed recently. He was one of those really, REALLY whitewash immigrant kids who thought he had a chance at becoming a rapper. He ran a YouTube channel where he'd upload his garbage-tier content for the world to see, naming himself similarly to an existing rapper hoping that it would drive traffic to his work. It did not. All of his songs were crap lyrics over royalty free beats, the kind where the composer's name is played every 20 seconds or so. It was so horribly bad that he's kind of become meme among the people who are around my age living in my area. Even kids that went to schools other than the one I went to know about this shit. I remember a number of occasions where he would get up on a table in the cafeteria at lunch, rapping while people egged him on. There's even a page in our year book dedicated to meming on him. Dude had zero self-awareness, and genuinely thought he was going to take off as the next big thing in rap. To this day, his Facebook profile lists him as a rapper who's going to "change the rap game". Last I checked, he was trying to get signed on for a record label but his plans were shot when his family got deported back to Egypt or wherever the fuck they were from.