🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

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For those of you that have been through the experience of becoming a parent or being very close with someone who did, can any of you imagine the phase of pregnancy when Faith starts her nesting? How do you nest in the crack shack? What corner of the hovel does she fix up? Will she add another wing? Kick Ralph out of his room and make him stream in the meth cooking shed?
Ohhhh just wait until the hormones REALLY start raging and she starts flipping out on him that he pays more attention to his streaming "career" and his internet "friends" than he does her and his unborn guntling.
 
Ohhhh just wait until the hormones REALLY start raging and she starts flipping out on him that he pays more attention to his streaming "career" and his internet "friends" than he does her and his unborn guntling.
Plus she's got BPD, Ralphs will get in contact with her family just to get the crazy bitch out.
 
Some couples have that one song that encapsulates their relationship or reminds them of meeting, "Their Song".
Well, If there were any song that was "Ethan, Faith and AHalfwayCrooks Song", it would probably be this one.
The lyrics just work god damn it...



Ooh I fucked a girl's titties!
Ooh I fucked a girl's titties!
Ooh I fucked a girl's titties!
Ooh I fucked a girl's titties!
Ooh I fucked a girl's titties!
Ooh I fucked a girl's titties!
Ooh I fucked a girl's titties!
Ooh I fucked a girl's titties!
Oh I'm sorry man, I didn't know!
JK, JK, I knew all along!
And she's sucking on my hose
I go twelve inch deep in the pussy
After twenty minutes you can drive a fucking Jeep in the pussy
Know what I'm talking 'bout?
Smack her in the pussy
When I pee it burns
Let it burn like George Bushy
I regret to inform you I fucked your girl's pussy
Man I swear I didn't know
JK, JK, JK, JK I knew all along!
I just fucked your girl before this song
And I know it's kind of wrong
When she's sucking on my dong
And she's so fat like a land whale
Uh, shoot that poon with a harpoon
Yeah, I just wanna lick a whale in the fucking whale pussy
That's why I fucked your fat girlfriend you fucking nerd!
But she's so nice
But she's so nice
But she's so nice
But she's so nice
But she's so nice
But she's so nice
She's so nice
She's so nice
She lets me use her body
But she's so nice
But she's so nice
But she's so nice
But she's so nice
But she's so nice
But she's so nice
Yeah, treat her like a bitch
I fuck her in the ass and I fuck her in the tits
If she can handle that then I'll let her suck my dick
And her man is coming back so I better make it quick
Yeah, you know who you are you piece of shit
Your girlfriend's always sucking on my dick like a Slim Jim stick
So next time you go down on her clit
Tell me how my dick tastes
Tell me how my motherfucking dick tastes
But she's so nice
But she's so nice
But she's so nice
But she's so nice
But she's so nice
But she's so nice
I treat her badly
But she comes back, every time
It goes to show
That none of these hoes
Are worth a dime
But she's so nice
But she's so nice
But she's so nice
But she's so nice
But she's so nice
But she's so nice
 
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Plus she's got BPD, Ralphs will get in contact with her family just to get the crazy bitch out.

This is why people say to give it at least 6 months before making any joint decisions in a relationship, because after 6 months, people usually stop acting on their best behaviour and all of the fucked up shit comes out. Imagine being crazy, pregnant and isolated from your family and support system. She is already a massive pain in the ass but now she doesn't even have to pretend to play nice anymore.
 
Since Ralph is on suicide watch these days, here is a late one. Danse Macabre. The dance of Death.


dance with the dead.png
 
She will probably follow a midwife's advice, which is to have the baby in your bedroom AT LEAST for the first 6 months. That means the crib will be in their bedroom, and they will need baby gates to keep cats out. If you are reading this Ralph, cats are a SIDS hazard and will sleep on your baby's face and suffocate them to death. Eat all the other cats so Cleo can have friends in there.
This is a lie, Ralph. Your cats need access to the baby to keep the baseboard trolls at bay.
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Concept episode: ralph is imbued with the collective sins of the community and croaked like a jew with a Yom Kippur chicken, Josh feeds him up on corn and he eats that shit like a sin eater, is ritualistically sacrificed, halal and kosher friendly slaughtered and cooked then eaten. Everyone gets to try a bite.

Actually he could be work out to make a nice steak. I thinking we could have a Kobe of wagyu beef situation here, he's sitting around all day and never exercising like he's veal and he's practically marinated in whiskey.

Believe this would all contribute to a few choice gunt cuts. The liver would be fucked. The dogs get that. But the back steaks could maybe be good. I can just imagine the nice marbling.

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nice marbling.
the marbling doesnt just come because the cow is fat as fuck. it needs to eat the right things too. since all ralph eats is cheeseburgers out of garbage bins he wouldn't be a good bit of steak at all. its why theres no kobe cows all around the world because the diet and the soil in the ground all creates the cow the way it is. change one bit of it and its never going to be the same.

If anything ralph would be a gigantic shipping container of lard grease
 
the marbling doesnt just come because the cow is fat as fuck. it needs to eat the right things too. since all ralph eats is cheeseburgers out of garbage bins he wouldn't be a good bit of steak at all. its why theres no kobe cows all around the world because the diet and the soil in the ground all creates the cow the way it is. change one bit of it and its never going to be the same.

If anything ralph would be a gigantic shipping container of lard grease
I'm not a cow expert, just had the inspiration. I don't think he'd be very tasty really, though an idealized grain fed gunt could make an okay steak I think. An optimized corn gunt steak could be good
 
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The harvest isn't looking good guys. Ralph is starting to make minimal improvements in his life, possibly drying up 70% of the potential lolcrop. Based on the Dingo interview, this may be a recent high for him.

Or is it just time for a new downward trajectory on this lollercoaster?
The only thing that Ralph could do that would "impress" me is for him to find a real day job to not only support his kid, but to prove hes not drinking heavily off camera. He can keep doing his stream at night, but also be a net positive on society. Anything he claims to be doing without evidence is likely a lie (remember when he said about a month ago he would be losing weight? At his size minimal lifestyle changes would cause considerable weight loss).
 
The only thing that Ralph could do that would "impress" me is for him to find a real day job to not only support his kid, but to prove hes not drinking heavily off camera. He can keep doing his stream at night, but also be a net positive on society. Anything he claims to be doing without evidence is likely a lie (remember when he said about a month ago he would be losing weight? At his size minimal lifestyle changes would cause considerable weight loss).
He could work for Uber Eats.

lol how awesome would that be. You know he'd do his best to hide that from getting out.
 
Concept episode: ralph is imbued with the collective sins of the community and croaked like a jew with a Yom Kippur chicken, Josh feeds him up on corn and he eats that shit like a sin eater, is ritualistically sacrificed, halal and kosher friendly slaughtered and cooked then eaten. Everyone gets to try a bite.

Actually he could be work out to make a nice steak. I thinking we could have a Kobe of wagyu beef situation here, he's sitting around all day and never exercising like he's veal and he's practically marinated in whiskey.

Believe this would all contribute to a few choice gunt cuts. The liver would be fucked. The dogs get that. But the back steaks could maybe be good. I can just imagine the nice marbling.

View attachment 1624310View attachment 1624311
From corn to cannibalism, I guess you need meat with your corn.
 
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Rip the Tea Clips mirror.
Ralph you fucking crybaby lmfao
God you're a fucking faggot Ralph. You womanly bitch faggot.

I'm listening to Mandingo's show now and what the hell is it even about? He's talking about drama with Ralph. Way to save the White race, jackass.
Edit: Jesus Christ, Mandingo is now calling himself a nigger about his righteous indignation of the Gunt. Unbelievable.
 
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God you're a fucking faggot Ralph. You womanly bitch faggot.

I'm listening to Mandingo's show now and what the hell is it even about? He's talking about drama with Ralph. Way to save the White race, jackass.
They are the heroes of the whyte race, you have a fat alcoholic pill junkie, an guy who wants to cut and wear his heroes face and pretend to be him, another drunkard who has to stay up till 4 in the morning to talk about the jewish ants and his mensch who recorded him crying over his wife's miscarriage and an coke addict who punishes themselves daily with substance abuse and watching the Matt stream on repeat. These are true G:I Joes niggas here.
 
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