🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

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Mundane Ralph said:
It was always his. The Nora story was just a cover story so Ade wouldn't know he likes putting stuff up his ass.
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Well he's a cheapass, why would be buy himself one when he can just get his ex-wife's used Paki stick?

Jiz Oleman said:
MEMPHIS TENNNNNNNcentimeters
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I believe it's spelled "picometers".
 
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For whom the Gunt tolls said:
Holy fuck. Calm down. How much estrogen is in this thread? Babies die all the time. OMG TRUMP HAS GOT COVID WW3 IMMINENT!! My mother smoked during all 3 of her pregnancies and me and my bros are just fine.
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Then fuck off to the trump/covid thread? This one is perfectly on topic. We’re not talking about Ralphs’ miscarriages in the tranny threads wtf.
 
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BOLDYSPICY! said:
Wait, Faith has a crooked uterus? & does the old wive's tale have to do with which direction the fetus is facing in
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The old wives’ tale is about fetal heart rate; anything over 140 is supposed to be a girl. It’s completely unscientific, though I have seen people who swear by it.

Better get ready to theme the crackshack with Disney princesses Ralph. Even if the baby’s a boy then at least your childbride might smile for once.

Speaking of which, I hope Ralph’s prepared for the significant likelihood of postnatal depression. Contributing factors include being an unmarried mother, history of mental health issues, financial difficulties, difficult labour, isolation from friends and family and being in a controlling relationship.

Kenobi said:
I love that we are getting some female attention in this thread now, lord knows Ralph has never had any.
@BOLDYSPICY! and @Anne Hyroe when faith leaves we need you to step in to be the third man erh... woman.
We need you to be alog comands deployed in the field to sacrifice your dignity for all of womankind.
When he so cruedly hits up your dms and says : HOW BIG ARE YA TATTAS? or HOW WOULD YA LIKE TO RIDE DA MEPHIS MAULER! You need to giggle and hide your destain.
You don´t need to do... anything lets just say physical to save @Captain Manning some crowbar work. If he ever tries to goad you on just fill him up with booze and pills.
All of the evidence you can gather will save lives.
We need pictures of the state of the crackshack. We need to see if Sandra is still alive or if ralph is tricking the goverment for more pension money. We need more evidence of the embarssing gator stories and ralph fisical state, how his debt like?.

I realise what im asking of you ladies and im ashamed of doing it, its a suicide mission.
But think of it like this ladies! You are not just doing a service just for us karen farmers. Your doing it for all of the potential highschool girls and their poor poor familes, that Ralph could have ruined. This is now in your hands ladies there is a debreifer standing by in the alog discord waitng for you with a catfish profile. Goodspeed gentlewomen!
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Despite finally signing up after stalking lurking for a while, I don’t think I’m ready for this sacrifice. In any case, I’m around 10 years and 50 IQ points beyond his current tastes. I suppose I am a British medfag though so maybe I could just larp as a white Nora.

Schitzotheory time: I think Ralph may be putting off the wedding because there’s no way he’d fit into a suit. He’d have to wear one of those vests they make for babies where they’ve printed a tuxedo on the front.
 
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Anne Hyroe said:
Schitzotheory time: I think Ralph may be putting off the wedding because there’s no way he’d fit into a suit. He’d have to wear one of those vests they make for babies where they’ve printed a tuxedo on the front.
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Boogie got a suit to fit his fat ass for his wedding so Ethan has no excuse. This is America, you can buy a suit for a fat guy.
boogiesuit.png
 
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3119967d0c said:
Old Crow
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Pepper Jack said:
Old Crow
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I wonder if he will ever have to stoop to Kentucky Dale. At least Old Crow is actual whisky instead of whisky flavored, watered-down everclear/diesel.
b0o0pinsn0o0tz said:
So does this mean we could be lucky enough for a heart attack stream?
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considering he is smoking again, that's becomming very likely.
Jiz Oleman said:
Remember when Ammon Bundy's group of exceptional representatives of the Hoowyte race invaded and occupied that bird reserve in Bumfuck, Oregon a few years ago? I remember being so shitter-shattered at how unfunny it was when they asked for people to send supplies like food, toiletries, etc., and instead were bombarded with delivery after delivery of big huge dildos. The phone videos of them hurling the dildos down on the mess hall table, and screaming at people to stop it, made me feel horrible for them.

I would feel even worse if this happened to Ethan. The man's got a kid on the way, and I would imagine his on-air performance would be impacted negatively by mid-day rubber phallus deliveries interrupting his sleep. And really, there's no place for any dildos in the Ralph household.

I know I've only known you guys for like a few weeks but I highly implore you folks not to disappoint me with this kind of unfunny display, at risk of getting out of pocket. Thank you for considering my feelings in this matter, Kiwi Farms.

EDIT: And please, PLEASE, don't send this model.
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Why would you waste money like that? Also, didn't the ranchers end up sort of winning in the end?
 
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Freedom Fries said:
Why would you waste money like that? Also, didn't the ranchers end up sort of winning in the end?
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I sure the fuck would not and genuinely apologize for all the consternation that morning coffee out-loud thoughts (which they were and no more) set off.

Concerning the second point: lol ask this guy's 184 kidsLavoyFizzlecum.jpg
 
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Freedom Fries said:
the only actual bowls Ralph has in his house still have protective packaging in them
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He can't even spend $40 on Corelle stoneware at Walmart, it's disgraceful. Though one of my imaginary kids did leave a grilled cheese sandwich on one overnight and I had to soak it to get that shit off, can only imagine how fast they'd get plates glued together from neglect in that household.
 
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Ol' Slag said:
Probably already stated but the only reason Ralph is getting on good terms with Rex is for the grift.
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That is plausible if Ralph wishes for his show to retain some form of relevance.

But seeing how he burnt bridges with Null who runs the effing Farms, Destiny who has a huge following and Metokur, I think it might be a matter of time before he does the same to Rex.
 
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Kenobi said:
Ja
Mr vickers never said no to her and its quite obvious. She never learned independence or that her actions have consequences.
>Oh we are just gonna take you out of school honey cause you requested it! Never mind its cause your lies blew up in your face.
>Oh we are gonna fly cross country and blow money on expensive hotels and a mental health hospital cause your requested it! Never mind that you caused this by letting your lies blow up again.

Now they are proably gonna raise the guntling.. On faiths request. Could you imagine working with this girl? You would have to treat her as a puppy.
I think most parents would have said in that situation your 18 now so fuck off. You dug a hole now deal with it.
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I really want to commit on this. I cant power level too much, but i ve dealt with that kinda shit before from both ends and its a hard balancing act.

I think vickers is a bit of a sperg and is results oriented, he s also a business owner which is a world where you live very closely with your decisions. Clear he took the "if theres a problem lets remove it" route. If faith didnt want deal with shit at school thats fine IMO. but they failed with the namely allowing her to just be on dicord all night. because that woulda required him to put down boundaries. Same with having her work at his store. When like null says get a shitty fast food job for a few months it builds character.

I delt with a 17 year old. Whose father basically asked to use a empty office to store some stuff. Well store some "stuff" included his daughter and beer and daughters friends. His attitude was basically "she can do what ever as long as I pay for it" anyway I took pictures of the shit in that office. and texted her first. He answer was just weak. I mean it was 17 year old but it was just weak.

So I figured I d give her the life lesson about the of consequences for her friends actions. and her dad fucking lost it. I expected him to basically side with me this issue. but nope he went full nuclear/ retard over it.

Also I think ralph is going nuts cause faith can turn on him for child support/revenge porn and once she s clear hes opened the door to vickers fucking with him more.

I just wonder how he avoided having bastards till now since he didnt seem to understand wearing a condom etc
 
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HONKHONKTIME69 said:
You mean a new reason for her to rationalize her cartoonishly terrible behavior? What would ever make you think that?
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A lot of people talk have mentioned Casey Anthony in the thread, because she was enabled to the extreme by her parents and a giant liar.

But there was some woman in the 70s and 80s that killed all of her children when they were little, they thought it was SIDS/unfortunate at first but after the ninth one died they couldn't ignore it anymore. Her story of abuse is similar, hopefully she doesn't turn out that way but if she tries to poison the gunt with someone else's seizure medication I would not be surprised.
 
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