- Joined
- Jan 15, 2019
Divorce is expensive. Half your shit's up for grabs (including your money). A lawyer will want a $5k retainer minimum, and that's just to get the ball rolling (it cost $2,500 just to get my case drafted, filed and served to my spouse). That's enough to get you to court-ordered mediation. If that goes tits-up and your case actually has to be litigated, that'll be another $5k at least, and likely more if your spouse is a real asshole who insists on fighting every step of the way right up to the end where the court ends up deciding how to fuck you both the hardest for not being adult enough to work it out on your own.So we a guy in a dying marriage who isn’t willing to go the process of separation or divorce. You make it sound so simple.
Even an uncontested divorce (where you and your spouse agree amicably on how to split everything up) is expensive to get done right. You don't want to pro se it; see Russell Greer for the gold standard in failed pro se litigation. Both parties still need lawyers (especially if there are children involved) just to make sure they don't screw themselves (or each other). $5k (total) for that, minimum.
The sad truth is inertia is hard to fight and people are lazy and complacent. Even if both parties aren't happy or satisfied, if their day-to-day lives are "comfortable" and they aren't actively fighting or mistreating each other (and maybe even still going out together sometimes), it's much easier to just let it ride than it is to actually pull the trigger on a divorce. It becomes a marriage of convenience. Especially if one (or both) partners is getting laid on the side. It usually won't last forever (eventually one of them will want to get serious with someone else and want out of the marriage) but it can limp along for years before it finally falls apart.