Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[WonderWino]

No, you have two cars. And theyre converted to biofuel so you don't contribute to POLlutIoN!

.....and goldy found out about lucas through his research, and it led to him getting his zoomer bae girlfriend. that would enrage lucas more than anything

 

[mothman96]

No, you have two cars. And theyre converted to biofuel so you don't contribute to POLlutIoN!

.....and goldy found out about lucas through his research, and it led to him getting his zoomer bae girlfriend. that would enrage lucas more than anything

And Goldy drives his zoomer bae girlfriend and her friends to parties.

 

[teleméres69]

For the finale you should get either Walter Fate, or Dan Campbell as a surprise guest. And also have the gf to get Lucas make an ass of himself further. An actual confrontation with Walter or his old roommate would be the high note to end it on. Even better if you found Isaac on Facebook or Instagram and actually convinced him to appear and talk about how Lucas is and made him rage quit

 

[Draxx them Sklounst]

lol I vote for Walter Fate as surprise guest!

 

[Wernology]

Goldy did "advice" the Pedo Freak to delete his pedo post from his FB, so does Goldy have the guts to have a direct confrontation with the Predator Freak.

He did on the one post; this one is a different post.

It'll be interesting to see how Lucas acts if confronted again.

Once he could sketchily pass off as "my shitty roommate did it" (not that anyone believed that) but in this one he engages other people on the topic until he starts offering to get them vicodin and talks about how psych meds are genocide.

 

[WonderWino]

He did on the one post; this one is a different post.

It'll be interesting to see how Lucas acts if confronted again.

Once he could sketchily pass off as "my shitty roommate did it" (not that anyone believed that) but in this one he engages other people on the topic until he starts offering to get them vicodin and talks about how psych meds are genocide.

Not to mention hes even less able to try to bs his way out of that being him because he has a long history of offering to get prescription pills like vicodin for little girls if they'll date him, not that he seems to understand that such things require a prescription and if he just went in asking for stuff like that he'd better have a good explanation for what he wants them for as soon as they realize he has no prescription, or hes going to get flagged in the system and can get into some pretty serious shit

 

[Wernology]

Not to mention hes even less able to try to bs his way out of that being him because he has a long history of offering to get prescription pills like vicodin for little girls if they'll date him, not that he seems to understand that such things require a prescription and if he just went in asking for stuff like that he'd better have a good explanation for what he wants them for as soon as they realize he has no prescription, or hes going to get flagged in the system and can get into some pretty serious shit

I feel like @The Golden USB Show owes me...I don't know what, I don't really eat out and have food at home, but jesus tapdancing christ, I went to Lucas' FB to look for other pedo posts and:

1. He still hasn't deleted the ORIGINAL one he was confronted about, where Goldaor gave him the direct link to it.

2. There are so. many. others. Some directly say "pedophile" in them others just reference teenagers or little girls.

3. Not related to that but a couple posts about his experiences on OK Cupid and Plenty of Fish were just funny in that way that's more cringe than humor.

4. I'm only up to 2013 but I did notice in initial searches it was sometime in 2016 that he started claiming he wasn't a pedophile and was only interested in 18+. right around the time of the Starbucks incident.

5. I'm so upset the wayback machine doesn't have a full copy of the Craigslist personals ad he posted when he was 34.

6. I don't think anyone ever doxxed him, he posted his own phone number to Facebook begging young women to text him. It's likely not his number anymore, but the point is he posted it himself.

I'm taking a goddamned break from combing through this greasy mess of a Facebook timeline but here's what I've dug up so far:

Straight closet pedophile post: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10200324405365082

Opportunities to be a pedophile post: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10200664262141289

The Classic "Why did god make me a pedo" post that Goldy confronted him over (and that's still up):

https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10204389442308465

Denies being a pedo, says, "Rape is no fun. Then they struggle.": https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10209532336877615


No pedo shit just some hilarious delusional thinking:

https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/4028662507268

"Don't hit on old men, high school girls. Ever.": https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/158935004209562


The experience of him getting horny over 16 year olds in the park: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10201210810804664


That time someone on OK Cupid met his "I'm 100% certain you'd have sex with me" and she shot him down so hard he said it was the meanest thing anyone has ever said to him:

https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10200703653966060

That's not the reaction those women were having, bucko: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10200864694151964

Wants a "teen porn star level hottie": https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10200292921578007

He posted literally the same thing the day prior too: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10200292436725886

That time he was begging young women to text him and posted (allegedly) his phone number:

https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/4632824370937

"Little girls are attracted to me":

https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10201147661945982

I need to go take a fucking shower now and maybe spend some time outside to rinse all this nastiness out of my brain.

Edit: All those posts are posted as friends only, so if he hasn't friended you on FB you won't be able to see them; I left the URLs in the screenshots to make it easier to prove they're real and harder for him to deny they're from a fake page.

 

[teleméres69]

I can imagine when women look into Lucas' eyes, its like looking into Pennywise's deadlights. Except its various personas of Lucas screaming profanity and slurs

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

The Wern is antithetical to skill or work. in a vaccuum, without the charity of others, he would starve to death, or be beaten to death. as much as a hole in society as a modern campus is, to achieve a degree of education of any kind, from associate to doctoral, requires effort, work, and preserverence - all things that The Wern lacks.

the inability to recognize this, is an essential feature of The Wern, and is adjacent to the Dunning-Kruger effect. it is directly observable that when the reality of his limitation are even glimpsed, The Wern prefers to deny or deflect reality. to do otherwise would invite a destruction of the ego, which for The Wern who has nothing left to retreat into, is self-destruction.

This is the great irony of Lucas's whole animal-brain, superior genetics breeding diatribe.

Him being unable to find a mate is not a glitch in the system, it's its crowning feature. Lucas is objectively one of the worst possible mate choices, his genes are objectively maladaptive and useless.
If not for all the charity of the people Lucas claims are oppressing him, he likely would not have survived long into adulthood. For as much as Lucas lives on his monkey brain, could you imagine if Lucas had to play by monkey rules?
He cannot procure his own food.
His poor hygene & lifestyle leaves him vulnerable to disease.
He is fat, making him easy pickings for any potential predators.
He would not stand a chance against any rival male, even those to his junior.

 

[Fatal Walter]

Oh look, it's the guy who said he'd kick my ass on that last stream. He's pathetic.

Goldaor did ask before but I'm not really convinced I want to pozload my negholep and actually talk to Lucas. Or that he'd let it happen either. He keeps calling me a bitch but blocked me on instagram twice when I said something. He has no interest in discourse.

 

[Wernology]

Oh look, it's the guy who said he'd kick my ass on that last stream. He's pathetic.
View attachment 1652052

Goldaor did ask before but I'm not really convinced I want to pozload my neghole and actually talk to Lucas. Or that he'd let it happen either. He keeps calling me a bitch but blocked me on instagram twice when I said something. He has no interest in discourse.

You wouldn't even have to be there, all Goldaor would have to say is, "The surprise guest is Walter Fate!" then just stop talking and Lucas would go into an uninterrupted meltdown for probably a good 20 minutes.

Longer if you were there long enough to just say, "Hi Lucas" and nothing else.

The weirder alternative is he'd get all meek like he did when that cop kicked him out of the park because he really does pussy out pretty fast when there's any real confrontation that he doesn't believe he can 'win'.

Edit: More creepiness from his Facebook. As before, I think all of these are set to friends only, so if he's not got you friended, the links won't work.


In 2013, we see where Lucas got the "women are attracted to cars and money" thing. ]https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10200873302487167


If you're a young, pretty girl in his apartment you are automatically his girlfriend because the "payer of the rent has commanded it": https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10202175153832637

Makes me wonder how many of the girls he babysat were molested with things like, "You fall in love with these kids.": https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10203636319520866

Remember the old rumor that Lucas was into feet? Here it is from the horse's mouth; comments were on a post about one of his PoF profiles: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10203384056974460

The alleged 17 year old "fallen angel" apparently blocked him when she realized he was creeping on her: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10204239422038052


Still doing the Virtuous Non-Offending Pedophile thing: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10203460333441324

"If you don't pay attention to me and only me 24/7/365 I have a short fuse." That's not a red flag or anything. Christ, he sounds like a dog with separation anxiety if it were somehow able to use Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10203452702050544

But, he's not racist: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10204094741701134


If this isn't proof that some sort of higher power exists, I don't know what is: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10203252370722386


I'm sure the 16 year olds were all just lining up to sex him up on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10203505566252116

The one and only time I'll agree with Lucas. He doesn't deserve hotties (young or otherwise): https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=10205998869743145&set=a.10202947112891131


He's totally not transphobic either: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10206378607516352


I don't think lesbians are dating any sort of guys, Lucas... https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10206594358229985


Offering to trade Adderall for pussy: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10206386296748578


Yeah, it's a total mystery, dude...: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10205059692744307


Telling him that not taking no for an answer sounds "rapey" makes him feel threatened: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10209621999839133

He designed a warp communicator but the only proof is an equation (that's probably wrong) and a...shirt.: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10207846190205002


Remember how lately he's been saying he never had MRSA?: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10207308615325966

Ladies, he has a mat to sleep on, has been wearing the same clothes (underwear included) for a solid week, showers 'when he can' AND MRSA: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10207448499702988


Lucas' rent history in the comments is comedy gold: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10206393396926078


With that I'm Lucas'd out. His older Facebook posts are kind of exhausting to read. If whatever the upcoming episode of the podcast is is the last one I'm really hoping he gets dragged all over creation for all of these and the last batch because he is a genuinely terrible person (preaching to the choir there) and I'd love to see him try to justify it or just rage quit then meltdown on Instagram about it.

Anyway, more proof of being a creep, offering controlled substance RX meds in exchange for sex, proof he has MRSA despite his denials and his "I've never said I had MRSA" nonsense, and a few that were just funny, like the warp communicator, his rent history, and telling lesbians to stop dating guys.

 

[Goldaor]

Perhaps late and gayish, but this made me lol at our boi.
「Komm Süsser」The end of Lucas Werner

By the way I made them

 

[IceQueen]

I don't have a car, we drive a tandem bike

Hi Kiwifarmers, I have been a Wernologist for years and read this forum almost every day, but I've FINALLY made an account here to ask Goldaor something. Here it is. -- would you be willing to (nicely) demand proof of him being "beaten with baseball bats and a 2x4"? I have confronted him about this multiple times on Instagram and he of course always blocks me when I do. Initially he said that the only real proof he had was his hospital and police records from that night and that he took no photos of his injuries. I told him over and over, "surely you would have injuries. You couldn't POSSIBLY have taken baseball bats, fists, and wooden boards to the face and head and have no injuries." He said yes, he had injuries but took no pictures, but his injuries were all well documented in the hospital and police records.

Well, the hospital and police records were made public (I first saw them on here a week or so ago), and as I'm sure you all know, they say that while Lucas claimed that the attack happened and that he had injuries, including a bump on his head, that they saw NO injuries and the only bump on his head was a pimple. Goldaor, I feel like this is one of those things that you could press him about. He won't even engage with any of the rest of us about it, but I want him backed into a corner like when you showed him his pedophile post. I even tried approaching him about it by saying "I know you lied about this but I'm sure you had a good reason to do so, I don't care that you lied, but lying so blatantly now that the records are public could really mess up your super valid lawsuits, just trying to help ya man!" He replied a few times saying "nope not lying" and then blocked me.

I know who we're dealing with, I know it's HIM and this is completely expected, but there is legit proof from the police and hospital reports that the attack was at the very least HIGHLY embellished, or more likely that it did not happen at all, and I want to see him confronted with it, and I believe you're the only one who can do so.

Thank you for the work you do, dude. It's awesome.

 

[Goldaor]

Oh look, it's the guy who said he'd kick my ass on that last stream. He's pathetic.
View attachment 1652052

Goldaor did ask before but I'm not really convinced I want to pozload my neghole and actually talk to Lucas. Or that he'd let it happen either. He keeps calling me a bitch but blocked me on instagram twice when I said something. He has no interest in discourse.

If you ever change your mind, for a "small" price, that I'm willing to pay as Klickitat convinced me it would be worth it, he said he would do it! His one rule would be no rage quit allowed.

 

[Particle Bored]

If you ever change your mind, for a "small" price, that I'm willing to pay as Klickitat convinced me it would be worth it, he said he is would do it! His one rule would be no rage quit allowed.

Lol "chicken fingers." He really did fall out of a Trailer Park Boys episode.

 

[Da Dude123]

24 chicken fingers no less! That is easily enough food for 4 -6 people. But Lucas is sooo healthy! What a fat ass!

Lol "chicken fingers." He really did fall out of a Trailer Park Boys episode.

If you ever change your mind, for a "small" price, that I'm willing to pay as Klickitat convinced me it would be worth it, he said he is would do it! His one rule would be no rage quit allowed.

 

[Wernology]

If you ever change your mind, for a "small" price, that I'm willing to pay as Klickitat convinced me it would be worth it, he said he is would do it! His one rule would be no rage quit allowed.

I honest to fucking god love the fact that Lucas thinks @Fatal Walter 's time is worth 24 chicken fingers, ranch dressing (unspecified amount), 2 coleslaw portions of unspecified size, "mashed taters 'n' gravy" in an unspecified amount, and "2 pops"...probably gallon sized.

Dude, get portion sizes for the unspecified ones or he's probably going to come back all, "I need five pounds of mashed taters and two gallons of gravy, as well as an institutional sized tub of ranch with a straw!"

Edit: I also suggested he doesn't get his Full On Glutton Reward Meal until AFTER the podcast so he can't stuff his face on it now then forget and rage quit the second he hears the word "Walter" on the podcast. Lucas isn't exactly reliable or trustworthy.

 

[LightEmittingDiode]

I’m sorry, does this man consider TWENTY-FOUR chicken fingers PLUS SIDES as a meal for one? Does he plan on hiding them away in a tree somewhere like a homeless squirrel in order to come back and munch on them throughout the weekend?

 

[mothman96]

If you ever change your mind, for a "small" price, that I'm willing to pay as Klickitat convinced me it would be worth it, he said he is would do it! His one rule would be no rage quit allowed.

I'd say if Walter were to be on the podcast, it would have been better to spring it to the Creep as a surprise instead of you "asking" him if he'd "agree" to talked to Walter. You gave him the upper hand to where he demanded what food you are to provide for him.

 

[Goldaor]

I'd say if Walter were to be on the podcast, it would have been better to spring it to the Creep as a surprise instead of you "asking" him if he'd "agree" to talked to Walter. You gave him the upper hand to where he demanded what food you are to provide for him.

I get what you mean but then I think he would threaten to leave if I wouldn't kick him out the call