Dax Herrera / Dick Masterson / Daxipad / Juju The Cow / Wolfie / The Dick Show (TDS), The Biggest Problem in the Universe (TBPITU) / New Project 2 - Balding least funny contrarian paedophile defender in the universe, "women are fat" jokes virtuoso, e-daddy of Sektards, chaser and cross-species roleplay sodomy enthusiast. Roleplays as a cow named Juju while he gets fucked in the anus by women. Fat.

[Burd Turglar]

As if one is less embarrassing than the other. The word for Dax fans is very simple: losers.

I think it's pretty clear which one is more embarrassing.

 

[Pissmaster]

Some of you saw this already, but here's a little Dick Masterson cartoon project. I had to reupload it because I Boomered the original video (forgot to edit out the outtakes):

And here's the uncensored version, on Bitchute:

https://www.bitchute.com/video/rNuQ6rKty7ub/

Enjoy!

That is fucking awesome. Well done.

For the past few years, I've been collecting timestamps of silly lines Dick & co.'s said as I've listened to the show, so if you (or anyone reading) could use any of these, here you go! Timestamps go along with the audio versions of the podcast. (Sorry that the formatting is inconsistent, I didn't expect to share these publicly)

-----

48, 18:54 "I put Elizabeth Warren's chances of winning the 2020 election in there so when you open it a big nothing flies out"

56, 1:14:53 cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck

Bonus 12, Sean 1:10:18 "I like this. I like this a lot, actually"

"EVERYTHING IS A PODCAST", intro of 60, 61, 62 (60 is the best one)

"I lost you when you fucked the pumpkin" 65, 48:18

Drunk Dick fucks up Jesus' sermon 67, 38:30

69, 1:17:50 North Korea rant, "They keep it afloat to be funny"

Dick laughing so hard he starts squeaking 68, 2:26:53; (Peach) 70, 13:22

71: "De-da-le-da-le, diarrhea" 6:22; "He's a fuckin' faggot" 1:36:41 (Caller) (Dick laughs afterwards)

Bonus 15: 23:08 "Washing my hands is for cucks"

79: 1:04:00 dildo rants, 1:08:58 "I've used dildos for comedy" (Sean)

80: 41:00 (lots of "NOOOOO"s, all the NOOOOOOs you'll ever need)

82: 1:49:24 "Oh, D-D-D-DISGUSTING"

Bonus 19: "No no no no" (first part is interrupted by JLH), "No? Never" (Dick & Sean back & forth)

85: 13:09 "The dildo, I can't stop TOUCHING it!", 34:02 "OHHHH!" (Sean), 1:38:40 "FUCK!" (Dick)

86: 1:13:40 Layc does a weird relieved laugh

93, 30:38 "Excuse me" in a morbidly obese voice

101, 54:42 "Suicide? Go ahead"

128, 7:20 "Oh boy! I cant wait to shit!"

132, 25:02 "You dont get a wedding day until I get my three-way"

145, 17:40 "He's like two inches larger than me"

151, 34:02 "Clown World"; 48:40 "Women love to be in a constant state of buying and selling"

158, 2:06:00 "Welp, there you go"

160, 1:28:12 "I gotta take a piss" (Sean)

162, 23:39 "Nintendo loves raping children"

163, 1:09:03 Dick Masterson Alarm Clock

170, 6:25 Dick sings Sandstorm

178, 51:50 *whimpering noises* I'm triggered!! (Vito)

179, 1:59:08 "I'm not listening to another second of this!"

182, 1:35:36 "I was wrong, it was piss, my own piss"

Bonus 41, 31:46 "Betaus Faggotus"

186, 1:36:16 "These are the worst people on Earth!" (Sean)

190, 2:12:50 "What the fuck is wrong with you? That's insane!" (Sean)

192, 33:14 "Dick dick dick dick dick"

194, 9:54 "A retarded person wrote this!"; 53:56 Oddguy says "faggot" and nobody calls him out

195, 1:03:58 "Now, h'wat is a TikTok?"
24:24 "Just another day in Clown World!"
1:13:04 "In Japan, they will charge you the full pri-suru"

196, 1:56:58 "There's nothing inherently wrong with drinking a bunch of piss"

198, 2:42:22 "What an IDIOT!!" (Sean)

199, 1:23:41 "I don't know what TikTok is"
1:27:58 Dick talks about guys outside of a gun store and his words sound sort of like Ram Ranch

202, 18:03 "-And a very, very intelligent. I can't shut that off, when I put my mind to something, I put- I put it to a degree that the average man cannot. So I am- you know, like the Terminator. Beep boop beep boop, drawing lines and stuff like that?"
1:20:50 "Punt the Gunt"

Bonus 47, 46:27 "This is the worst thing I've ever seen!" Sean: "Wow." Dick: "I w- and I- it makes me wish I was dead! W- I- What do you think about this?"

206, 2:13:59 Mersh says "faggot"

207, 11:33:17 "No no no no No!"

208, 1:16:27 "Vito... are you a pedophile?" (Sean)

211, 1:52:15 "I guess I owe Maddox an apology"

213, 50:33 "Is he in the chaterino?"

216, 1:15:19 "You know what I always say is, with every woman, we should encourage it. I think if you get an abortion you should get a $50 Chili's gift card on the way out" (Vito)
1:32:37 Vito talks about how Tallarico's Amico is stupid as hell and Dick agrees
2:07:35 Dick says he trips out when things are out of place in his house
2:15:40 Null points out how even in Islam there are enough women accusing Lowtax of battery despite Dick sticking up for Lowtax
2:34:47 Vito being autistic, not realizing what he said doesn't sound like a joke at all

217, 44:36 Mersh doing his OOOOOOOH angry sound like Yosemite Sam
1:26:30 "You can go out in the middle of the desert, some motherfucker's gonna watch an ad, and then march out to the desert to make sure you heard it"
2:21:06 "We went with Jamie Lynn Hughes to a smash room! uhhh.. well, she was- before she went insane"
2:35:24 "I have a photographic memory of my dad's dick"

219, 2:05:33 "I'm gay"

220, 1:31:40 "N N N N N N N"

221, 18:55 "My fucking girlfriend has this-"

224, 19:12 "I would do it, but I'm.. Lame. I'm useless as a man. I'm useless as a woman!"
23:03 "So 80's Girl gets the dog off"

228, 14:50 "I'm done. I just can't take this anymore. HNGGGGGGG"

 

[soy_king]

Dax is just too shameless at this point. It's his fans that baffle me. Impossible to understand their mindset and what they think they're getting out of this relationship. It's clear they've never even thought about content that exists outside of Dax.

What, you mean the 500 or so he has left?

 

[Philly Phunk Machine]

View attachment 1662863
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We're supposed to believe this is the same guy making $20k?

I fucking hate the Doyers and I hope Atlanta stomps them like the '92 Pirates.

 

[AnOminous]

What, you mean the 500 or so he has left?

500? He gets over $20,000 a month. So these paypigs are all paying him $40 a month? Why don't they even listen to his podcast though? You'd think people this enthusiastic would actually be listening to his streams. Are they just really enthusiastic about his endorsement for Cuties or something?

 

[Popper Whiting]

Just when I think he can't come up with bigger copes, he outdoes himself with a stunning comparison to baby birthday parties and how he hates his mom for trying to make him be a nice boy to the other kids. "DA HATERS JUST JEALOUS"

It's always back to adolescence and high school with this motherfucker. The Prom King reference, the people that make fun of me weren't the cool kids, what seems like his sexual preferences etc. It's like his best years were spent acting like a retarded version of Jim Carey and he's been pining for them ever since, bitterly disappointed the world wants him to grow up and move on.

It’s just weird because Dax was always okay with being hated. He’s no stranger to controversy. You see him on Dr. Phil’s show getting booed, and he clearly enjoyed it. He enjoyed jawing back and forth with people who hated him. That’s part of what his appeal was.

But his attitude changed quite abruptly when the subject turned to loli and pedos. Suddenly he’s not okay with bantering. Suddenly he’s not enjoying being hated. He’s sweating more. He’s losing his temper and fidgeting more. Something about this topic struck a nerve, and everyone can tell.

Dax was always OK with the exchange when the deck was stacked in his favor, when he could rely on someone making a retard out of themselves going after him or inviting someone onto a stream with a bunch of sycophants in tow to dogpile, mute and mean girl laugh with each other. The second he started copping a tiny bit of shit from people who were genuinely laughing at what a retard he was being (and continues to be) and were content to crack jokes at his expense, he lost his shit. The idea that people can laugh at him and make fun of him for reasons other than spite really upsets him.

 

[AnOminous]

The second he started copping a tiny bit of shit from people who were genuinely laughing at what a retard he was being (and continues to be) and were content to crack jokes at his expense, he lost his shit. The idea that people can laugh at him and make fun of him for reasons other than spite really upsets him.

Don't forget people he couldn't turn off. People who didn't give a fuck about his bullshit. People he couldn't just ban or whatever. When there was suddenly a group of people who he couldn't scream to the manager like a Karen and get shut down, then he was suddenly really mad.

 

[Popper Whiting]

Don't forget people he couldn't turn off. People who didn't give a fuck about his bullshit. People he couldn't just ban or whatever. When there was suddenly a group of people who he couldn't scream to the manager like a Karen and get shut down, then he was suddenly really mad.

And this, atleast to me, is what makes it funny, and it gets funnier as time goes on. The guy took a law suit in his stride but couldn't handle people on an obscure board finding the JLH cry sex scenario and tomato faced prom king blustering worth a giggle or two.

In a way we cucked Maddox worse than Dax ever did, and we did it unintentionally. For years the guy has been plotting, scheming, practically frothing at the mouth to bring Dax undone. But one or two jokes between washed out shitposters on here at Dick's expense, along with a rampaging drunken evangelical leaf, sent a previously perceived as untouchable e-personality on a rage bender that wound up with him destroying his reputation by unironically defending child porn and sympathizing with the plight of pedophiles, whilst unintentionally divulging he pictures himself as the receiver when fantasing about sexual sitautions.

 

[AnOminous]

But one or two jokes between washed out shitposters on here at Dick's expense, along with a rampaging drunken evangelical leaf, sent a previously perceived as untouchable e-personality on a rage bender that wound up with him destroying his reputation by unironically defending child porn and sympathizing with the plight of pedophiles, whilst unintentionally divulging he pictures himself as the receiver when fantasing about sexual sitautions.

And we weren't even trying to do that. I mean fuck all I wanted to do was talk about beans.

 

[George Cuckzunian]

Ho's seething

Let's go to the comments

Is the olympics giving out an award in mental gymnastics? I think I found the next gold medalist.
We Wuz crusaders and sheeeeiiit! Deus vault my a-logarinos. Guy completely overlooks where the part I state is lame is that Dax feels a need to repeat the same joke everytime some one dies, not the gallow humor. Oh if you wanna know who we are we settled that back in May a while ago in this thread. We're all Ben.

Of course Dax can't even take credit for this idea. The idea for spending shit tons of money before dying was from Maddox on BPITU. His suggestion to people who were going to kill themselves was to spend shit tons of money doing what they loved before they died because they might find a reason to live if they do and if they don't fuck it make the creditors eat shit, So of course what is Dax's totally original do not steal sonic recolor of this idea?

"Are you gonna kill yourself my dude? Give MEEEEEEEEEEEEE money if you do!" I wonder if call of the deep killed him self cause of financial debt. Pretty sure not paying him what you owed and playing games with when you paid him money didn't help with him not killing himself.

Apparently if you don't laugh at the same old "MaDdOx LoSt" joke for the thousandth time you don't have a sense of humor. How can you not see the humor in a primo show booker such as Riley being a precious treasure that Dax defends tooth and nail?
The forum was co-opted by people who just don't get it. Remember when this thread was all about That was comedy gold. We are so unfunny now that Daddy Dax is being shit on.

RealNovgrod in trying to trigger the farms, own the farms, accidently reveals he doesn't even understand what makes the TDS suicide shirt funny as a joke and thinks discussing how unfunny the constant ranting to buy muh shirt everytime someone kills themself is old and unfunny.

huh, I decided to take a look at /u/pestosterone and found this

shortly after this /u/Pestorone actively goes to some other subreddit to talk about a guys leaked nudes

then again /u/Pestosterone is the kind of guy who lives in an alternate reality where Mint Salad is a beautiful m'lady worth defending and he gets butt hurt when people hijack Mint Salads hashtag

And in /u/pestosterones world, the TDS subreddit is a totally super active reddit and Daddy Dax was millions of listeners who just stay silent but remember to hit subscribe to his stuff and the Reddit never went down in quality guys

I could unpack more and more cope in that reddit comment thread as well as Dig through each users f-slurary but I rather do other stuff with my day.

Do you have anything besides tinfoil and two lines of chat from "someone"? It's not a small accusation, and it deserves legitimate evidence that should be sent to the police if true not spent as some internet gotcha.

That incident is news to me. However I have two juicy bits of info.
1. Remember when Dax was desperately trying to befriend Onision because he wanted to meet underage girls and learn how Onision does what he does?

and no, it wasn't just a prank bro. He spent a month on twitter begging Onision to come on to NP2 after the Patreon ban, even going so far as to say "Criminals welcome" when people called out how creepy it was that Dax was doing that. Upon relistening you will find justification of Dax saying it's okay for grown men to fuck under age teenagers.
2. Remember a few pages back when Dax spilled his guts to Bonk saying it's not fun anymore? Apparently Bonk is underage.

https://soundcloud.com/user-5765763/gabe-sperging-out/s-ZjjA5

I believe Bonk is 14 in this recording from 2 years back where he argues with TDS mods over their F-slur actions. Which would make him 16ish now.

The incel word is thrown around but I do think we can say that Dax's fanbase has more of them than other fanbases.

They have a literal virgin contest where the king chad's are Crippled Jesus and Riley. Incel is very accurate for most of that fanbase.

 

[Sped Xing]

The raison d'être of Kiwifarms is not to "call out" lolcows. Only a person with no sense of humor (e.g., a TDS fan) would mistake us for a moralizing shame site.

We are anthropologists.

 

[AnOminous]

We are anthropologists.

We are faggots. Who laugh at other faggots.

 

[Sped Xing]

We are faggots. Who laugh at other faggots.

Have you ever met an anthropologist?

 

[AnOminous]

Have you ever met an anthropologist?

Do they even go outside?

 

[JewBacca]

Do they even go outside?

Only to study/poke dead things with a stick.

 

[AnOminous]

Only to study/poke dead things with a stick.

More like their dick.

 

[Sped Xing]

Are we talking about the scientists or the kiwi farmers?

 

[John Andrews Stan]

It's always back to adolescence and high school with this motherfucker. The Prom King reference, the people that make fun of me weren't the cool kids, what seems like his sexual preferences etc. It's like his best years were spent acting like a retarded version of Jim Carey and he's been pining for them ever since, bitterly disappointed the world wants him to grow up and move on.

Truer words never spoken. Being the dude who still lives like a high schooler at age 40 isn’t as cool at age 40 as it sounds when you’re in high school — if you were ever dumb enough to think it sounded cool.

Dax seems to think there are only two ways to live: be a degenerate and have “fun” or put on a suit and tie every day, have no sex, and be boring. His inability to navigate the space between those two — and his unwillingness to consider that there IS a space between those two — has really fucked him up. He’ll always be miserable as long as he believes wanton degeneracy = happiness.

 

[AnOminous]

Are we talking about the scientists or the kiwi farmers?

>calling anthropologists scientists
lmao

 

[Sped Xing]

Adult life is infinitely richer, more meaningful, and more rewarding than adolescence, but the trick is you have to grow up to find that out.

Or to put it in terms Dax can understand, poker is harder to get good at than pokemon, but it's better.