حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[JustSomeFella]

I feel like Connor thought he had a big scoop here and Null would freak out.

 

[LiquidCooledGonads]

Can anybody the tell me the source for his infamous "...sticky, lint like objects..." quote?

 

[Smutley]

I don't have them on hand, unfortunately, but @Smutley might. Too bad he missed this.

Oh @Connor, why. I was telling people in chat yesterday that I thought you were getting better. That you were less temperamental and beginning to admit when you were wrong. And then you do this.

I believed in you, Connor.

Can anybody the tell me the source for his infamous "...sticky, lint like objects..." quote?

It comes from this old post on Wrong Planet!

Spoiler

Connor has recently been bugging the Stephen King forum with his writing ramblings. Note the two times a mod had to contain Connor's self-promotion to its own thread: http://stephenking.com/xf/index.php?threads/writers-block.7329/

I've been really lazy about re-capping his old posts since Connor has been "getting better". I haven't even been searching for him since he stopped sperging about on Wrong Planet. I keep tons of tabs open for research, and was even getting around to closing his...

but since we're at this point again, it's time to kick the ol' screen cap train back into gear.

Stephen King Forums, Round 2 - Part 1

Y'ALL SHOULD KNOW ME BY NOW

Spoiler

omg, he never ever changes.
"I'm such a rabid perfectionist I can't accomplish anything."
"I was actually doing research on real-life serial killers"
"From now on, every day, I'm going to post about something I've written that day"
"Unfortunately, I didn't get any writing done today"
"There's going to be plenty of Arnold-style one liners."

Spoiler

Akira is his Sonichu medallion

Spoiler

Now I know you guys are Connorsseurs like I am, so I'm going to throw you a little bit of a trivia question here. What does Connor always talk about? What is the one thing that Connor, regardless of where he goes, will bring up?

I want you to think on it real hard. What's that one thing he will mention all the time regardless of context.

Spoiler

At least he did some writing...

Spoiler

It's like Connor's greatest hits over here. Did you ever finish watching The Breakfast Club, dude? Because last I heard you hadn't.

Spoiler

 

[ToroidalBoat]

a pinch of salt

I take ED with a shovel-full of salt - if you read the About page there, you'll see why.

I haven't been to this thread in awhile. I wonder how the Connor situation is nowadays. I'm guessing more or less the same.

 

[LordDarkrai]

I haven't been to this thread in awhile. I wonder how the Connor situation is nowadays. I'm guessing more or less the same.

Pretty much, the cycle of Connor goes on. He finally watched Juno and kind of liked it, through he could be lying like he has before. He also found Null's ED page in a attempt to trollshield.

 

[JustSomeFella]

"I have body dysmorphia disorder which I have self-diagnosed"

 

[Ruin]

Most EDiots are practically lolcows themselves. There's a reason about 50% of their articles start with this disclaimer. "This article is about the former Encyclopedia Dramatica user."

 

[Frank Rizzo]

Connor *does* realize that most lolcows ED pages usually grow longer *because* they chimp out at them right? Generally, the people who ignore them have very short pages, or, in rare instances, have their pages removed (I think anyway).

 

[TM Ambrose]

"There's going to be plenty of Arnold-style one liners."

What I thought this meant.

Spoiler

 

[Dudeofteenage]

Most EDiots are practically lolcows themselves. There's a reason about 50% of their articles start with this disclaimer. "This article is about the former Encyclopedia Dramatica user."

ED is basically a very long-running, large-scale communal exercise in trollshielding.

 

[BriarHeart]

There's going to be plenty of Arnold-style one liners.

Well, I'll say this about @Connor. He's certainly nailed at least one of Ahnuld's lines:

 

[Zeorus]

Maybe we shouldn't be so hard on Connor - his Facebook page is up to 12 likes now, after all.

Spoiler: Big-ish; sorry if this is kinda ween

 

[JustSomeFella]

Oof, sucks when you make a post on your page and nobody likes it.

 

[tomgirl4life]

Maybe we shouldn't be so hard on Connor - his Facebook page is up to 12 likes now, after all.

Spoiler: Big-ish; sorry if this is kinda ween

View attachment 30704

That title "Redesigning Eva" -- seems like a ripoff from King of Queens, with Arthur Spooner's terrible script "Reconsidering Sandy".

 

[Hat]

More updates on Connor's Internet activity? It's just like old times again!

Also, I know it's been stated before, so I'll be brief: ED is satire, and in any case, Null is a cool guy who runs a cool website, and Connor is just a failed writer.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

Bringing this back.

Null was as good at herding lolcows as he was at running a forum, and he was as good at running a forum as he was at everything else. Everything JOSH did, he did well. Dodo Brain was a fair-haired boy from Florida who believed in Coke Zero, adoption, and human decency, without ever thinking about any of them, and everybody who knew him liked him.
"I fucking hate that gutless motherfucker," @Connor growled.

---

Dear Diary,

Today I learned that the owner of a forum dedicated to making fun of people on the internet may not, in fact, be what could be called "a lovely person" or "an angel".
Words cannot describe my feelings upon learning such news. Will I sleep tonight? Will I recover from this blow to my faith in humanity? Will my bread-and-butter pudding set correctly? Feelings which I hardly have names for grip my heart, and I grope to find words to describe them. Ah, cold laptop screen! Would that you could aid me in my struggle with these thoughts. Tonight, I am deeply troubled, and I as eat dessert and try on new outfits, I will wonder if I can ever be the person I once was.

Moonlight Sonata was playing in my head the entire time I was reading this. Beautiful.

 

[TM Ambrose]

Connor is just a failed writer.

that implies he wrote something at one point in his life.

 

[Hat]

that implies he wrote something at one point in his life.

Well, he technically wrote something.

 

[Count groudon]

Well, he technically wrote something.

He's written his own name a lot. That counts for something I guess

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

He's written out a lot of piss-poor excuses for why he can't improve anything in his life. That counts for something I guess

Fixed.

I eagerly await Connor's inevitable return where he pretends like he didn't have a chimpout & claimed to have left the Farms 5ever.