Diseased Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

[WinchesterPremium]

Is spiritual abuse a real thing?

Yeah but its more like "The pedophile priest is using his position to abuse altar boys" or culty stuff, not "you told me I'm worshiping the wrong way that is abuse!"

 

[NoReturn]

I wonder if those are rocks she bought or took? I read an article about how stone stacking takes away hiding places and nests for vulnerable critters. Those rocks were probably somebody's home. That isn't very green of you. You shouldn't take that many natural features. Something probably came back from hunting to find its nice big rock was gone. Maybe it sounds spergy of me. But I never move or take rocks that look like they might be a natural hide for something.

Hades from Disney's Hercules? She looks more like a demented stepmother.

You aren't spergy, you're right. I understand cairns on, like, hiking trails where the trail isn't clear (like above treeline), but stacked rocks for aesthetics is just stupid, and yes, the rocks are usually used by animals. Even rocks in water provide a place for fish to hide eggs and for little invertebrates to hide.

 

[Troonologist PhD]

Spoiler

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Is spiritual abuse a real thing?

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I feel bad for the subway employee that's going to be asked to write an anti TERF sigil in mustard. They aren't being paid enough for this shit.

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But cursing Trump so he dies of corona is perfectly fine.

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Zeus is a rapist though.

The last one isn’t so bad. At least she’s attempting to be reasonable and respectful towards others. And the pagans didn’t actually believe in the myths in the way a lot of people seem to think. The myths usually focused on the gods behaving badly because the ancient writers seemed to believe that happy people were boring. Poseidon was viewed more negatively than Zeus. Zeus was the upholder of law, order, justice, and morality. Poseidon‘s personality was like the sea itself, extreme highs and extreme lows.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

Another way to heal your heart is to eat some vegetables.


Maybe try to be intimate with a person before going for an actual god.


How is "magick" high stakes? You're literally just putting period blood in a jar.


Wasteful.

 

[Android raptor]

You aren't spergy, you're right. I understand cairns on, like, hiking trails where the trail isn't clear (like above treeline), but stacked rocks for aesthetics is just stupid, and yes, the rocks are usually used by animals. Even rocks in water provide a place for fish to hide eggs and for little invertebrates to hide.

Taking rocks from water to stack them and whatnot is actually a serious threat to hellbenders and other endangered amphibians.

 

[NoReturn]

Maybe try to be intimate with a person before going for an actual god.

Diestic waifuism.
Horny tulpas.

 

[WinchesterPremium]

The last one isn’t so bad. At least she’s attempting to be reasonable and respectful towards others. And the pagans didn’t actually believe in the myths in the way a lot of people seem to think. The myths usually focused on the gods behaving badly because the ancient writers seemed to believe that happy people were boring. Poseidon was viewed more negatively than Zeus. Zeus was the upholder of law, order, justice, and morality. Poseidon‘s personality was like the sea itself, extreme highs and extreme lows.

Poseidon was also a rapist tho

 

[NoReturn]

Just some random crap

Spoiler: ok, if you say so

Witches: Indistinguishable from golden retrievers

Why is it always the ones who claim to be Ojibwe?

Ya think she means "unfriend"?

"I love you, railroad tie rock."

 

[Troonologist PhD]

Poseidon was also a rapist tho

I’m not disagreeing. This is partially why the pagans viewed Poseidon much more negatively than Zeus. Don’t quote me on this, but apparently the pagans thought of Poseidon as a rapist the same way we think of Zeus being.

Edit: I meant to put “rapist” there.

 

[EyelessMC]

Just some random crap

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Spoiler: ok, if you say so

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Witches: Indistinguishable from golden retrievers
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Why is it always the ones who claim to be Ojibwe?
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Ya think she means "unfriend"?
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"I love you, railroad tie rock."

"In this whole wide wicked world the only thing you have to be afraid of is me" at a dinner party, because the party's gonna be over once she uses her incredible magic to make all the food disappear
into a bucket mixed with bodily fluids surrounded by wax candles to illuminate her god-pal's picture, to which she will sacrifice it all with quintuple-chinned chanting vigor

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

If this is a simple hex I'd hate to find a complicated one.


He literally kidnapped someone.


I don't know if there is one day when a tumblr user doesn't tell someone to cast spells with their period blood.


Aren't there digital copies of birth certificates? Wouldn't burning the physical ones be useless?


I wonder who she cursed.


Or you can dye your hair back to its natural color instead of neon pink.

 

[Old Hoodie]

Alright I got a story that's a bit of a powerlevel here and since you guys are more familiar with neopagans, I want to hear your opinion on it.

I knew this chick that was into this neowiccan stuff, believed in the fae and tarot cards and shit. Thought it was pretty harmless but slowly realized she was into the "woke" version where using sage was somehow ""cultural appropriation"". But that's getting off-track to what I wanna discuss. The thing is, she not only worshipped the Greek gods, but she also worshipped Nordic ones. I asked her how does this even work, and I didn't really get a straight answer from her other than "why not".

Is this common with neopagans? Wouldn't the gods smite her down for idolizing foreign dieties? I don't know much about Nordic gods but I'm pretty sure this would cause some sort of collossal wrath from the Greek ones. Can someone here more familiar with the nu-witch community explain this to me? (besides the total bastardization of the original mythos)

 

[Troonologist PhD]

Alright I got a story that's a bit of a powerlevel here and since you guys are more familiar with neopagans, I want to hear your opinion on it.

I knew this chick that was into this neowiccan stuff, believed in the fae and tarot cards and shit. Thought it was pretty harmless but slowly realized she was into the "woke" version where using sage was somehow ""cultural appropriation"". But that's getting off-track to what I wanna discuss. The thing is, she not only worshipped the Greek gods, but she also worshipped Nordic ones. I asked her how does this even work, and I didn't really get a straight answer from her other than "why not".

Is this common with neopagans? Wouldn't the gods smite her down for idolizing foreign dieties? I don't know much about Nordic gods but I'm pretty sure this would cause some sort of collossal wrath from the Greek ones. Can someone here more familiar with the nu-witch community explain this to me? (besides the total bastardization of the original mythos)

IDK what explanation she would use but in Wicca proper they think all goddesses are aspects/“faces” of their Goddess and all non-Abrahamic gods are aspects/faces of their male the God (yes, it’s “the God”). Gerald Gardner and the occultists he ripped off were into Hinduism and it shows. There’s a lot more to it than that, but that’s the TL;DR version of it.

Other Neopagan witches can believe any number of things including literal Satanism, which is apparently pagan, somehow.

 

[AMHOLIO]

Alright I got a story that's a bit of a powerlevel here and since you guys are more familiar with neopagans, I want to hear your opinion on it.

I knew this chick that was into this neowiccan stuff, believed in the fae and tarot cards and shit. Thought it was pretty harmless but slowly realized she was into the "woke" version where using sage was somehow ""cultural appropriation"". But that's getting off-track to what I wanna discuss. The thing is, she not only worshipped the Greek gods, but she also worshipped Nordic ones. I asked her how does this even work, and I didn't really get a straight answer from her other than "why not".

Is this common with neopagans? Wouldn't the gods smite her down for idolizing foreign dieties? I don't know much about Nordic gods but I'm pretty sure this would cause some sort of collossal wrath from the Greek ones. Can someone here more familiar with the nu-witch community explain this to me? (besides the total bastardization of the original mythos)

From what I've seen, its because any god not the abrahamic god is awesome, and if the abrahamic religions say there's only one god you should worship then I should worship ALL the gods as a backlash.

Its also just saying "I like this, more of a good thing please." Kinda like a buffet, but with deities and practices. A lot of books and comics have kitchen sink mythologies in them (e.g. DC and Marvel both have pagan and non pagan gods as real) so its something people are used to from that, seeing it like a fandom.

 

[WinchesterPremium]

Alright I got a story that's a bit of a powerlevel here and since you guys are more familiar with neopagans, I want to hear your opinion on it.

I knew this chick that was into this neowiccan stuff, believed in the fae and tarot cards and shit. Thought it was pretty harmless but slowly realized she was into the "woke" version where using sage was somehow ""cultural appropriation"". But that's getting off-track to what I wanna discuss. The thing is, she not only worshipped the Greek gods, but she also worshipped Nordic ones. I asked her how does this even work, and I didn't really get a straight answer from her other than "why not".

Is this common with neopagans? Wouldn't the gods smite her down for idolizing foreign dieties? I don't know much about Nordic gods but I'm pretty sure this would cause some sort of collossal wrath from the Greek ones. Can someone here more familiar with the nu-witch community explain this to me? (besides the total bastardization of the original mythos)

I think we've talked about it a bit before, with a variety of answers. For my part I remember that the Greek pantheon had absorbed several gods from other pantheons - specifically Isis shows up in some mythologies and had some cults in Greece due to the Greeks having trade and conquest in Egypt that lead to some cultural exchange. Someone else pointed out that Isis was attractive since they where an exotic god compared to some of the others. There was some weird crossovers with the Greeks who ruled over Egypt basically trying to get the Divine Favor of both pantheons and mixing them together so they'd have the respect of both the Greeks they're tied to and the Egyptians they rule over. It goes over it a bit on Isis's wikipiedia page.

Its definitely a good deal different than what Modern Neopagans do, which tends to be just picking out what cool action figures you like from various pantheons. They don't really have any Big Book of How Things work that makes a solid theology, so they basically just makeup fanfiction roughly equivalent to the "This is totally my conversation with Loki" you sometimes see on this thread. Since there is absolutely nothing unifying neopagan beliefs (especially if she isn't part of a larger group) they basically just make up all their own rules by themselves. Thus she is the only person who could make up an excuse for how it works, unless she reads someone else's excuse and decides its "canon" to her beliefs.

 

[NoReturn]

I don't know if there is one day when a tumblr user doesn't tell someone to cast spells with their period blood.

Ay, mija. Curse? This is easy! You take egg, rub yourself all over with egg, throw egg at hippies.

Aren't there digital copies of birth certificates? Wouldn't burning the physical ones be useless?

Burning your birth certificate also means you're going to have the devil's time getting a driver's license or a passport. Maybe that's a good thing, though.

Alright I got a story that's a bit of a powerlevel here and since you guys are more familiar with neopagans, I want to hear your opinion on it.

I knew this chick that was into this neowiccan stuff, believed in the fae and tarot cards and shit. Thought it was pretty harmless but slowly realized she was into the "woke" version where using sage was somehow ""cultural appropriation"". But that's getting off-track to what I wanna discuss. The thing is, she not only worshipped the Greek gods, but she also worshipped Nordic ones. I asked her how does this even work, and I didn't really get a straight answer from her other than "why not".

Is this common with neopagans? Wouldn't the gods smite her down for idolizing foreign dieties? I don't know much about Nordic gods but I'm pretty sure this would cause some sort of collossal wrath from the Greek ones. Can someone here more familiar with the nu-witch community explain this to me? (besides the total bastardization of the original mythos)

The others have touched on this as well, but it's a two part answer. The first is the bit you've gotten already: Neopagans treat all non-Abrahamic gods as a smorgasbord from which they can pick and choose and headcanon. The second is more along the lines of what @WinchesterPremium mentioned above.
Put simply, if you were to go back in time and grab a Roman from around 100CE and a Viking from around 800CE they'd both think "Oh this guy belives in these gods? That's cool, mine are better, though, and his creation story and view of how the world works is wrong." It was less about the "There is no true god but my god" and more "My dad can beat up your dad".
We know this also because that's also how the Abrahamic god used to be seen as well.
Just so you know I'm not pulling this out of my ass, TreyTheExplainer and ReligionForBreakfast both have some great videos which touch on this topic in more detail.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

She eats babies. Some of them are probably trans.


More like you have all the power of the universe in your period blood.


I wonder if Trump knows about all these Tumblr witches cursing him.


Do these people actual think ancient Norse and Greek gods want other have sex with them?!

 

[Smother Me Father]

This is a running theme. A personal cow of mine is also like this. Extremely overweight gay man who still lives at home whilst approaching his late 30s. Is never able to hold down a job for more than 3 months, and is constantly dating men in their very early 20s, late teens. Each time they realise "this guy is a loser and way too old for me" he has a complete, public, sometimes videoed breakdown. We were treated once to a video of him having a "fit" whilst turning up to his boyfriend's house to beg to date him again, resulting in his boyfriend's parents having to take him to the ER. He was fine.

Throughout all of this, there's a never ending obsession with tarot, "magic", and Germanic-Celtic mythology. He believes he can contact long lost gypsy ancestors whenever he smells a certain cake being cooked, believes he spoke to Norse spirits whilst visiting Iceland, and posts videos of his breakdowns whenever the cards advise he shares his feelings.

He's got a pretty solid squad of enablers now, all of whom fit in with the stereotypical fat, failed goth in her 30s vibe.

Ok, apologies for taking so long but here's an update for you all. Had to wait some time for a 3rd party to provide screenshots. Sadly most of their best content was on Tumblr, which they deleted long ago, and in Instagram stories, which are often missed.

Spoiler: Fired

This was after another one of their firings, a couple of years ago. The boyfriend was at the very least 10 years younger than him, and kicked him out after a few weeks due to him being a leech. This is the boyfriend whose parents house he turned up at and had some sort of fit after being dumped.
Note how his go to is to turn to Tarot, this is a running theme.

Spoiler: Fired. Again

Sacked again, albeit due to COVID this time. Decides to go and unleash it on poorly paid workers who are probably also about to lose their jobs, and then post about it. Again, he's in his mid 30s.

Spoiler: Job applications

Instead of posting job applications its time to consult the cards. Not like he needs income as he still lives at home

Spoiler: Consooom

Unlike Donna Noble you seem incapable of helping others and getting out of shitty situations

Spoiler: Kill all Tories

Reeing about that advert from last year everyone was crying about. Note that Rishi Sunak (UK Chancellor) has been paying his wages the last few months whilst he's been sat on his arse at home.

It's just this shit all the time, alternating between tarot, crying about how shit life is, and referring to his latest 20 year old boyfriend as "kiddo"

 

[NoReturn]

My friends I come to you with some amazing bullshit. Behold: Shifting
That's right folks, teens on TikTok are bringing back mid-2010s maladaptive daydreaming for fun and profit!
Do you want to escape your boring life and live at Hogwarts instead? Well now you can!
Informative Video

Compilation Video

An Intro

Collection of posts

Spoiler: spoilered for length

It makes me feel bad for these kids that this is their intro to lucid dreaming.

This person thinks "Mercury retrograde" means it's rotating the opposite way.

I'm sure he has an interesting life.

Best choice for your mental health, really.

This is cult behavior.

Can't go to Hogwarts, I have school in the morning.

What about the Shi'a method?

Every teenager wants to escape. You aren't special.

Of course.

Gross

Makes perfect sense.

Bonus

Spoiler: Optional - My own spergery

What really gets me about shit like this and tulpamancy is that it actually is possible. Not in the "You are actually changing realities" sense, but in the sense that you can use a hypnogogic state to induce lucid dreams, etc.
Thing is, there's a reason why this has historically been something that was taught by priest/shamans/whatever and not something meant to be done alone. It can genuinely cause people to lose touch with reality, especially teenagers.
I've even seen it happen firsthand. The effect was like someone who got their brain baked by a bad trip, but over a much longer period of time. Poor kid.
Further reading:

• People with “Maladaptive Daydreaming” spend an average of four hours a day lost in their imagination
• What It’s Like When Your Daydreams Are Just As Real As Life
• The Mystical, Mind-Sharing Lives of Tulpamancers
• The Internet's Newest Subculture Is All About Creating Imaginary Friends
• There’s a dark side to meditation that no one talks about