Diseased Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

[AMHOLIO]

I can’t image being so retarded you think yourself into psychosis.

I know we have several cows who've done so. Hell, Chris might qualify.

I personally encourage people to stay away from sex magic since there's too many people out there who wouldn't hesitate to do something you're not ready for as part of a ritual (using "ITS JUST A RITUAL BRO DONT YOU WANT TO BE A PART OF IT BRO" excuse). There's more creepy and manipulative people out there than average with that.
Also, you're likely a teen. Don't do it kiddo.

 

[madethistocomment]

I love how charcuterie boards are now apparently considered "witchy." Better tell grandma that arranging that meat, cheese, and fruit on her cutting board means she's invoking the Old Gods!

 

[Unhindered Clown]

View attachment 1651429

I love how charcuterie boards are now apparently considered "witchy." Better tell grandma that arranging that meat, cheese, and fruit on her cutting board means she's invoking the Old Gods!

I like how 2 of these aesthetics is literally just having assorted candle jars lit outside as opposed to inside by a windowsill.

So what I took from tulpamancy and astral projection is that basically it's an extreme chuunibyou hobby in the witchblr sphere?

 

[NoReturn]

So what I took from tulpamancy and astral projection is that basically it's an extreme chuunibyou hobby in the witchblr sphere?

Almost. "Chuunibyou" implies the person doing it thinks they're special and unique. "Tulpamancers" have communities around their delusions (You can see some of this in the waifuism thread as well), and astral projection is an "ability" that a lot of people claim to have as something they've "earned" through spiritual practice.
The delusion part of chuunibyou, though?
Absolutely. 100%.
Let me see if I can find some shit and I'll make it into its own post in a bit.

 

[CivilianOfTheFandomWars]

View attachment 1651429

I love how charcuterie boards are now apparently considered "witchy." Better tell grandma that arranging that meat, cheese, and fruit on her cutting board means she's invoking the Old Gods!

Oma’s setting up some brettljause for guests? Time to burn her at the stake.
Sorry grandma, it must be done.

 

[NoReturn]

Ok, here's a quick dump.

Spoiler: Reddit tulpamancy

View attachment isbwOiO.jpg

Spoiler: tumblr tulpamancy

Spoiler: ass-tral projection

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

Or you can message then first. No need for magick.


I don't think she approves tbh.


Imagine if someone sat on your grave to announce to the world that they're a tranny.


Making a throwaway account for this is so extra. Like, their parents probably aren't on fucking witches vs patriarchy and most redditors probably wouldn't judge this person for cursing transphobes.

I think the people at the reserve near you have bigger problems than some bitch waving around herbs.

 

[NoReturn]

I don't think she approves tbh.

What is it?

I think the people at the reserve near you have bigger problems than some bitch waving around herbs.

Someone please send this lunatic into Navajo country with a film crew.

 

[NoReturn]

Begun, the witchblr Halloween season has.

Spoiler: #relatable

On banishing:

Spoiler: How to

Spoiler: I know a much easier way

But hey, in my wanderings I also found someone fun:

One of us, one of us!

 

[FatalTater]

I want to know details about each and every one of these idiots that was trying to magickally spread Covid on the full moon October 1st, because that's when I started having symptoms of it. I'm too damn tired to actually do anything other than stare at the info while silently wishing a pox on their households since that's pretty much all they were doing too so I'd feel like we'd be even.

 

[verygayFrogs]

Or you could call them dumbass?

 

[NoReturn]

View attachment 1657004
Or you could call them dumbass?

'tis I! Auntie NoReturn! I am here to grant your wish!
I summon unto thee the boy from your math class you like so much. Behold your Jayden in all his glory!
Feast upon the affections of an awkward 15-year old who has recently discovered hentai!
Savor the scent of his Old Spice High Endurance deodorant.
Marvel at the many video games in his Xbox library and reveal in the unique and novel sensation of realizing you may be better at this boy at this game. Savor the shock of how you must learn to go easy on him so he doesn't throw his controller across the room when he loses!
Fear your new and mystical powers, my child!

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

Just get a dog.


Because that's what he'll say when you try to have sex with him?


I feel bad for her son.


Please stop connecting with spirits.

 

[NoReturn]

Via @Spagbol in the Fat Acceptance Movement thread:

 

[Anja Din]

Via @Spagbol in the Fat Acceptance Movement thread:
View attachment 1662313

Actual, high-blood quantum Indians hate hippies. Native wildlife officers have to constantly chase naked crystal-wavers out of their lands quite a bit. Do these idiots not know actual Native people can’t stand them? This particular hippie/witch is a real piece of work. I doubt a seventeen year old girl would appreciate some witch hippie calling her fat, if she weren’t dead and all. Also she was from a northern tribe, what is all that ignorant shit about “saguaro [cactus] flowers”? Those don’t grow around North Dakota where she lived. Modern hippies are so strange, They say the most racist or “fat shaming” shit then screech about racism and call someone else fat in the same breath.

 

[verygayFrogs]

Wait, would a kitchen witch be one who cooks by the book

 

[Slowboat to China]

Actual, high-blood quantum Indians hate hippies. Native wildlife officers have to constantly chase naked crystal-wavers out of their lands quite a bit. Do these idiots not know actual Native people can’t stand them?

OT, but shit, that would be a great background for a black comedy. Maybe some actual Native Americans, tribal membership and everything, try to bring more money to the area by indulging some loony hippies' desires to have a spiritual experience. But when the services offered aren't "authentic" enough, they end up sending Joe from the gas station into the woods to play a wendigo, or faking hauntings in the sweat lodge, and wacky schemes ensue ...

 

[NoReturn]

OT, but shit, that would be a great background for a black comedy. Maybe some actual Native Americans, tribal membership and everything, try to bring more money to the area by indulging some loony hippies' desires to have a spiritual experience. But when the services offered aren't "authentic" enough, they end up sending Joe from the gas station into the woods to play a wendigo, or faking hauntings in the sweat lodge, and wacky schemes ensue ...

I love it. Like a mix of the "Cherokee Hair Tampons" episode of South Park and Tucker & Dale vs. Evil.

On that note, here's some "Native Witchblr" which I just now learned was a thing.

Spoiler: spoilered for length

...should we tell her?

"Part Native American" = "I'd get my pasty white ass kicked for having the audacity to show up at a Pow-wow".

This "closed practice" shit drives me bonkers. Imagine if other stuff worked that way. Sorry folks, only the Japanese are allowed to use statins. Say goodbye to Uncle Jose, we're cutting him off due to cultural appropriation.

I'm sure it's really rough, Kelly.

Wait... "chakras"? "Indigenous"? Is this person seriously confusing "Indians" and Indians?

Why is it always the "part Ojibwe" who do this shit? You don't see any twitter profiles with "Part-Comanche, TERFs don't interact!" in it.

Anything to not be "white", amiright?

 

[Daughter of Cernunnos]

Banedbdjet: Egyptian ram god, the equivalent of the southern (largely benevolent) Khnum.

Sekhem: Ceremonial royal scepter in the shape of a yaoi paddle. Also the word for "power" in certain contexts.

Neither of these things have anything to do with darkness or Satan. Khnum, particularly, was a bro; in some legends, he actually created humanity out of clay. I'm guessing the writer picked Banedbdjet because he was ram-headed, just like Satan in some depictions, without understanding the context. That's some cultural appropriation there, Carlisa N. Williams.

And daemon are gods or spirits that personify a really specific thing like non-violent Death (Thanatos).

 

[Android raptor]

I would honestly be surprised if anyone claiming to be native on tumblr actually has any significant native ancestry. As far as I'm concerned these kids are whiter than a Kenny G concert at Whole Foods until proven otherwise.