Inactive Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"

Holocaust Mansplainer said:
lol is this retard seriously asking people to pm him for self defence advice against child rapists or am I being trolled
Click to expand...
Self defense advice against ANYONE willing to do you harm. I also never said this was exclusive to WomenI feel everyone should be able to defend themselves. I figured I’d offer my experience to anyone needing advice. There are fucked up people right under your nose. If you think I’m one of them because I’m offering advice on how to buy a gun and get training on using it, best of luck to you..

That’s wrong? OK.

I was also reminded of this when I listened to that ex-girlfriend of Lowtax in her interview on here. She said when she told her Dad about Lowtax he told her to get a gun. But if I was “internet” I guess I’d tell you all to take a class where women practice hitting a guy wearing a foam and tape suit yelling “hah hah hah!” every time they lightly hit him. If you think that will protect you from an asshole that wants to do you harm... good luck.

Also.. (I’m gonna regret telling this, huh?) in the 90’s there was a rash of violence on gay people (trannies, all LGBTQetc.) in my area (Northern California). They were being followed at night and violently attacked in places like parks or in plain sight on roads. It was pretty fucked up, heads were getting split open, arms, legs broken and many were beat to death, some were outright stabbed to death, bludgeoned with baseball bats, or straight up shot. I thought it was awful, instead of finishing my dinner I decided to do something about it, so.. I offered my services to the gay community in the Bay Area of California, I reached out to the gay community through this hip new thing called The Internet. Again, being a firearms instructor and knowing how hard it was to buy a gun in California I volunteered what I knew about firearms and combat handgun training to those that were scared of being attacked by homophobic assholes. I took a lot of shit from my friends and family for that. The worse were the family and “friends” that got quiet when I told them what I was doing and were like “oh.. I didn’t know” and wouldn’t let me near their children anymore because they thought I was gay. (again, this was a different time, gay meant “child molester” and that you had AIDS as well). It sucked, but the backlash I got was worth it I think, they were very nice people that deserved the ability to defend themselves but no one else would help them out, one guy said he was threatened if he ever went back into one gun shop. They had no idea how to buy a gun, how to load one, how to shoot it etc. Everything they knew was from the media and TV/Movies and I very proud I was able to help them with that. I do not regret it.

I am sorry if this is way off topic and I am “showing my power level”, I just thought I could lend some help to anyone that might need it or was denied help because of who they are.
 
Last edited:
  • Autistic
  • Dumb
  • TMI
Reactions: Apteryx Owenii, Stars Ingenious Cooter, fhqwhgads and 32 others
FrankTheSpank said:
in the 90’s there was a rash of violence on gay people (trannies, all LGBTQetc.) in my area (Northern California). They were being followed at night and violently attacked in places like parks or in plain sight on roads. It was pretty fucked up, heads were getting split open, arms, legs broken and many were beat to death, some were outright stabbed to death, bludgeoned with baseball bats, or straight up shot.
Click to expand...

Sounds fucking based. How did Cali get pozzed so hard and so fast?

Also, you "offered your services to the gay community"? Admit it, they pozzed your neg hole, didn't they?
 
  • Like
  • Agree
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: Gun Safety, Sir Wesley Tailpipe, Rustin Parr and 5 others
DisobedientLupus said:
Sounds fucking based. How did Cali get pozzed so hard and so fast?

Also, you "offered your services to the gay community"? Admit it, they pozzed your neg hole, didn't they?
Click to expand...

(eh, sorry, what does “based” mean?)

I did get “hit on”a few times and that was.. new.. for me. But they were very nice and I did get repaid for my help many times... with food, not sex, no seriously!

But I don’t know how California got so fucked up so fast, it was overnight. California use to be the competition handgun capital of the world. Competition handgun events along with other shooting sports were a huge deal in California, that’s why many “race gun” companies are still in California like Apex (I’m currently installing one of their triggers and barrel into a S&W M&P) and “The Glock Store” is the biggest distributor of Glock parts and services in the world and they’re in California and it’s funny since most of the shit they sell can’t be sold in California.

It was great that the violent crime went way down in California against the gay community but then it got dumber in other ways...

I moved out of California over 10 years ago, that place is fucked now. It use to be great and I loved growing up in California but the California I knew is long gone.

——— Back on topic:

Is Lowtax a gun guy? Did he ever talk about guns? I only remember him asking about a gun for home defense, the FN Five-Seven, because he is a complete nerd and wanted to buy a certain gun because he saw it in a video game (Counter-Strike). It looks like he bought that gun:

A8C231C9-04C1-40D2-BA99-BD51DA9C1997.jpeg


27D94C31-D0D0-46A2-A525-0C40BC2274AB.jpeg


(They go for over $1,000 (back when I checked) while a standard Glock goes for around $500, it’s more of a speciality firearm)

Not the smartest thing when going through a custody battle with your ex wife that’s accused you of domestic violence to post pics of you with a gun but, look how he managed SomethingAwful. I know it was for the lol’s but dude....
 
Last edited:
  • Autistic
  • Dumb
  • TMI
Reactions: fhqwhgads, Sir Wesley Tailpipe, Shovel Mick and 14 others
Silas said:
Yes you can I do it all the time
Click to expand...

No you don’t, unless you have a CCW permit but that has it’s own background check that is even more thorough. You have to pass a federal background check anytime you buy a firearm in The United States of America.

Read the article I linked above, she got denied. I also remember another journalist being denied for having a domestic violence charge (and it wasn’t a felony) on his record. *Found it: https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/columnist-fails-gun-check-blames-store-owners *

Steven Crowder took two liberal college girls that wanted to buy their first gun to a gun shop to buy a gun and they were totally shocked that they had to do a “federal background check” and even asked “then what is this ‘universal background’ check we keep hearing about?”. Also one of the girls was denied because she wasn’t 21 and wanted to buy a handgun. https://youtu.be/-l4s901oOUY

The left media makes it sound like you can order guns off the internet and it will just show up on your doorstep and buying a gun is easier than buying cold medicine (because cold medicine is locked up and you have to show I.D to get it).

Many states still allow you to do a private party transfer of a firearm between two citizens but not in a store. My state banned private party transfers last year.
 
Last edited:
  • Dumb
  • Autistic
  • Like
Reactions: fhqwhgads, Shovel Mick, George Floyd Sneed and 15 others
Going back a long time now, but I recall a story Lowtax posted about going to meet Drew Curtis from FARK* and he took an MP5 or something with him because that state had an open carry law**. Then Lowtax threw up in a toilet and dropped the gun and thought about what an odd sight he must have been.

*I think. Could have been X-Entertainment or I-Mockery.
**I'm sure this was the gun and the reason. Again, going back to the early 2000s here.
 
  • Like
  • Informative
Reactions: Sir Wesley Tailpipe, Uncanny Valley and TurdFondler
I might not have been Drew Curtis either, but I have this sense it was another "big" webmaster. Only frank talking about Lowtax and guns sparked that long lost memory.
I'm being an autist and trawling through the front page articles now just to make sure I didn't go insane and just imagine such an absurd story. But he could have posted it on the forums so who knows.

One of the first articles he did was about his shitty back though. Which is kind of amusing.

Seems it wasn't only the cake that was poisonous.
 
Last edited:
  • Informative
Reactions: Uncanny Valley
Monster Energy Drink said:
he took an MP5 or something
Click to expand...

I don’t think Lowtax is that much of a gun guy to spend some $10,000 on an MP5 (a semi-automatic one even). I remember he had a post-ban AR-15 (he posed with it once) and that FN Five Seven, I was wondering if anyone else knew if he had anything else. I remember him saying once he needed home protection from scorned goons that were banned showing up at his house and goon cons 😆
 
  • Dumb
Reactions: Shovel Mick
FrankTheSpank said:
Self defense advice against ANYONE willing to do you harm. I also never said this was exclusive to WomenI feel everyone should be able to defend themselves. I figured I’d offer my experience to anyone needing advice. There are fucked up people right under your nose. If you think I’m one of them because I’m offering advice on how to buy a gun and get training on using it, best of luck to you..

That’s wrong? OK.

I was also reminded of this when I listened to that ex-girlfriend of Lowtax in her interview on here. She said when she told her Dad about Lowtax he told her to get a gun. But if I was “internet” I guess I’d tell you all to take a class where women practice hitting a guy wearing a foam and tape suit yelling “hah hah hah!” every time they lightly hit him. If you think that will protect you from an asshole that wants to do you harm... good luck.

Also.. (I’m gonna regret telling this, huh?) in the 90’s there was a rash of violence on gay people (trannies, all LGBTQetc.) in my area (Northern California). They were being followed at night and violently attacked in places like parks or in plain sight on roads. It was pretty fucked up, heads were getting split open, arms, legs broken and many were beat to death, some were outright stabbed to death, bludgeoned with baseball bats, or straight up shot. I thought it was awful, instead of finishing my dinner I decided to do something about it, so.. I offered my services to the gay community in the Bay Area of California, I reached out to the gay community through this hip new thing called The Internet. Again, being a firearms instructor and knowing how hard it was to buy a gun in California I volunteered what I knew about firearms and combat handgun training to those that were scared of being attacked by homophobic assholes. I took a lot of shit from my friends and family for that. The worse were the family and “friends” that got quiet when I told them what I was doing and were like “oh.. I didn’t know” and wouldn’t let me near their children anymore because they thought I was gay. (again, this was a different time, gay meant “child molester” and that you had AIDS as well). It sucked, but the backlash I got was worth it I think, they were very nice people that deserved the ability to defend themselves but no one else would help them out, one guy said he was threatened if he ever went back into one gun shop. They had no idea how to buy a gun, how to load one, how to shoot it etc. Everything they knew was from the media and TV/Movies and I very proud I was able to help them with that. I do not regret it.

I am sorry if this is way off topic and I am “showing my power level”, I just thought I could lend some help to anyone that might need it or was denied help because of who they are.
Click to expand...
I hope someone sets you on fire.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
  • DRINK!
Reactions: fhqwhgads, BOLDYSPICY!, Sir Wesley Tailpipe and 10 others
FrankTheSpank said:
Self defense advice against ANYONE willing to do you harm. I also never said this was exclusive to WomenI feel everyone should be able to defend themselves. I figured I’d offer my experience to anyone needing advice. There are fucked up people right under your nose. If you think I’m one of them because I’m offering advice on how to buy a gun and get training on using it, best of luck to you..

That’s wrong? OK.

I was also reminded of this when I listened to that ex-girlfriend of Lowtax in her interview on here. She said when she told her Dad about Lowtax he told her to get a gun. But if I was “internet” I guess I’d tell you all to take a class where women practice hitting a guy wearing a foam and tape suit yelling “hah hah hah!” every time they lightly hit him. If you think that will protect you from an asshole that wants to do you harm... good luck.

Also.. (I’m gonna regret telling this, huh?) in the 90’s there was a rash of violence on gay people (trannies, all LGBTQetc.) in my area (Northern California). They were being followed at night and violently attacked in places like parks or in plain sight on roads. It was pretty fucked up, heads were getting split open, arms, legs broken and many were beat to death, some were outright stabbed to death, bludgeoned with baseball bats, or straight up shot. I thought it was awful, instead of finishing my dinner I decided to do something about it, so.. I offered my services to the gay community in the Bay Area of California, I reached out to the gay community through this hip new thing called The Internet. Again, being a firearms instructor and knowing how hard it was to buy a gun in California I volunteered what I knew about firearms and combat handgun training to those that were scared of being attacked by homophobic assholes. I took a lot of shit from my friends and family for that. The worse were the family and “friends” that got quiet when I told them what I was doing and were like “oh.. I didn’t know” and wouldn’t let me near their children anymore because they thought I was gay. (again, this was a different time, gay meant “child molester” and that you had AIDS as well). It sucked, but the backlash I got was worth it I think, they were very nice people that deserved the ability to defend themselves but no one else would help them out, one guy said he was threatened if he ever went back into one gun shop. They had no idea how to buy a gun, how to load one, how to shoot it etc. Everything they knew was from the media and TV/Movies and I very proud I was able to help them with that. I do not regret it.

I am sorry if this is way off topic and I am “showing my power level”, I just thought I could lend some help to anyone that might need it or was denied help because of who they are.
Click to expand...

To any of the women reading this thread considering DMing this old retard, don’t. He’s a pussy with a small dick which is why he has to hide behind his guns. I am skilled in wielding Hanzo steel and I know MMA. DM me.
 
  • Like
  • Informative
  • Agree
Reactions: fhqwhgads, Gun Safety, BOLDYSPICY! and 16 others
I don't think X-Entertainment ever crossed over with SA except for the poster "XEMatt" getting banned for not actually being Matt Caracappa, son of a mob cop, founder of X-Entertainment and now DinosaurDracula. Plus Matt's always been based in New York, which is the opposite of a gun friendly state.
 
  • Informative
  • Like
Reactions: Uncanny Valley, Frank N Berry and FrankTheSpank
moonman1488 said:
To any of the women reading this thread considering DMing this old retard
Click to expand...
WHERE did I specify Women? I never specified who can DM me if they had any questions about firearms and self defense.

Bookmark Cuck said:
I hope someone sets you on fire.
Click to expand...
I hope you’re assaulted by a midget with a modified weed whacker.

White Devil said:
FranktheSpank's posts make me feel like I'm reading Facebook and I want to kill myself.
Click to expand...
DM me and I can recommend you a gun. 😜
 
  • Dumb
  • Autistic
  • Mad at the Internet
Reactions: Stars Ingenious Cooter, fhqwhgads, Le Pew and 11 others
White Devil said:
Be sure to recommend me a semi auto MP5 for $10,000 when SP5s are going for under 3.
Click to expand...
I wouldn’t recommend anyone buy any of those outdated-technology grossly overpriced German turds for practical uses. If you’re a collector then sure.. If you want a sub-“machine” (style) gun get a CZ Scorpion EVO 3 for under a thousand bucks. Put a “pistol brace” on it that works like a SBR, I did on mine and you should too while you still can, the ATF is trying to ban “pistol braces”.

Good luck finding one in stock. 😎
 
  • Autistic
  • Dumb
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: Grog, Uncanny Valley, User Name and 7 others
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back