Corrupt-a-Wish

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You move to Alaska, but it gets bombed by the North Koreans, who improve their military technology at that time
I wish I wrote and designed superhero comics.
 
Your comics doing surprisingly well, but end up being banned due to a crude joke at the expense of a minority.
I wish I could go Tornado Chasing without the risk of dying
 
You are able to chase down tornados. Though you don't die, you do get injured since they can suck you in. Your injuries will no doubt leave long stays in the hospital.

I wish I could go through with my genocide crusade and take to the grave as many as I can.
 
You go on a crusade, but end up being damned by your institution for killing too many people.
I wish I had a wider attention spa- what's over there?
 
Your wish for a wider attention span is focused solely on wondering that that over there was.

I wish I had a ninja in team when we go into the labyrinth.
 
You're elected just in time for World War III to start and die while trying to fly out of the country to escape the nuclear holocaust.

I wish my gender didn't factor into people's perception of how well I can do my job.
 
Lady Houligan said:
You're elected just in time for World War III to start and die while trying to fly out of the country to escape the nuclear holocaust.

I wish my gender didn't factor into people's perception of how well I can do my job.
Click to expand...
Now your hair color- and only your hair color- does.

I wish the pronoun bar would go away at the end of the week.
 
It goes away, but it is replaced by two pronoun bars.
I wish I didn't secretly kinda like Crawling by Linkin Park
 
You no longer secretly kinda like it. You now unabashedly adore it and must listen to it at least six times daily.
I wish I had more time for vidya.
 
Lady Houligan said:
You no longer secretly kinda like it. You now unabashedly adore it and must listen to it at least six times daily.
I wish I had more time for vidya.
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You lose your job, giving you as much vidya time you want. I wish I had a functioning time machine.
 
APerson said:
You lose your job, giving you as much vidya time you want. I wish I had a functioning time machine.
Click to expand...
Your time machine works perfectly, but wasn't designed to factor in the Earth's rotation, orbit around the sun, the spiral of the galaxy or the expansion of the universe. You can go to any time you want, but 99.9999% of the time you find yourself adrift in deep space.

I wish my toaster had a setting between "Slightly warm bread" and "Wheat charcoal"
 
Some JERK said:
Your time machine works perfectly, but wasn't designed to factor in the Earth's rotation, orbit around the sun, the spiral of the galaxy or the expansion of the universe. You can go to any time you want, but 99.9999% of the time you find yourself adrift in deep space.

I wish my toaster had a setting between "Slightly warm bread" and "Wheat charcoal"
Click to expand...
Granted. Your microwave no longer works, though.

I wish I could visit the Coca-Cola factory.
 
Morbid Boredom said:
I wish I were better at math.
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You contract autism from this forum, you now have a flair for maths, being able to solve almost any equation upon learning the methodology behind it.
However your autism proves too much for even this forum and you end up as Halal.

I just want to make it into Uni.
 
Karnon said:
You contract autism from this forum, you now have a flair for maths, being able to solve almost any equation upon learning the methodology behind it.
However your autism proves too much for even this forum and you end up as Halal.

I just want to make it into Uni.
Click to expand...
You get into UCLA.

I wish I had a private island. (what could go wrong?)
 
Your private island turns out to be an old nuclear test site and any visit there will kill you with radiation poisoning.

I wish I could run.
 
Sussuro said:
Your private island turns out to be an old nuclear test site and any visit there will kill you with radiation poisoning.

I wish I could run.
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You decide to do a fun-run, and train for months for it. On the day, you're just a couple of kilometres in when the training schedule and protein shakes catch-up with you, causing you to shit yourself. Morgan Freeman is standing there watching you soil yourself, and he can't hide his disgust.

I wish I had a small motor cruiser I could use for weekend jaunts.
 
PantsOfDesire said:
You decide to do a fun-run, and train for months for it. On the day, you're just a couple of kilometres in when the training schedule and protein shakes catch-up with you, causing you to shit yourself. Morgan Freeman is standing there watching you soil yourself, and he can't hide his disgust.

I wish I had a small motor cruiser I could use for weekend jaunts.
Click to expand...
A strange phenomenon is discovered where bodies of water have an abnormally high acidic content but only on the weekends. The acidic water begins to wear a hole in the hull of the small boat, causing it to sink while you are inside it.

I wish I could imitate any voice perfectly.
 
You forget your own voice. Now you can't call anyone on the phone anymore because they'll always think you're someone else.

I wish Lego sets were as affordable as they used to be.
 
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