Corrupt-a-Wish

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DrTremolo said:
You forget your own voice. Now you can't call anyone on the phone anymore because they'll always think you're someone else.

I wish Lego sets were as affordable as they used to be.
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As Lego sets get more affordable, more Lego sets are made. This requires more plastic, inevitably resulting in a worldwide plastic shortage.

I wish that I had all the powers of every superhero combined.
 
Zorceror44 said:
As Lego sets get more affordable, more Lego sets are made. This requires more plastic, inevitably resulting in a worldwide plastic shortage.

I wish that I had all the powers of every superhero combined.
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You have every single superpower, but this also includes every weakness, so you can't do a thing without running into something that turns your powers off.
I wish I was done with my final assignment.
 
Abethedemon said:
You have every single superpower, but this also includes every weakness, so you can't do a thing without running into something that turns your powers off.
I wish I was done with my final assignment.
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You get a C.

I wish for a jar of North Carolina barbecue sauce.
 
your son cuts himself on the spare change, and then he eats it.
I wish I had an idea for an edgy fanficiton I want to write.
 
I actually like Sweet Baby Ray's, so I'll assume it's the regular and not Sweet Vidalia Onion.
Abethedemon said:
your son cuts himself on the spare change, and then he eats it.
I wish I had an idea for an edgy fanficiton I want to write.
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You post it on fanfiction.net. Some other tryhard accuses you of plagiarism and has their friends mass-report your fic, getting it removed.

I wish I could get my sister to help me clean our closet.
 
trombonista said:
I actually like Sweet Baby Ray's, so I'll assume it's the regular and not Sweet Vidalia Onion.

You post it on fanfiction.net. Some other tryhard accuses you of plagiarism and has their friends mass-report your fic, getting it removed.

I wish I could get my sister to help me clean our closet.
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While she does clean your closet, it becomes all that she ever does. She eventually dies from a mixture of sleep deprivation, dehydration, and hunger. But hey, at least your closet is clean. But you are still going to have to explain to the authorities as to why there is a rotting dead girl in your closet.

I wish that I had a special laser that could turn feces into gold.
 
Zorceror44 said:
While she does clean your closet, it becomes all that she ever does. She eventually dies from a mixture of sleep deprivation, dehydration, and hunger. But hey, at least your closet is clean. But you are still going to have to explain to the authorities as to why there is a rotting dead girl in your closet.

I wish that I had a special laser that could turn feces into gold.
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You accidentally turn your own feces into gold and die of a bowel obstruction.

I wish that I had a pizza with all of the toppings that I like--no more, no less--and that has nothing wrong with it whatsoever right now.
 
Picklechu said:
You accidentally turn your own feces into gold and die of a bowel obstruction.

I wish that I had a pizza with all of the toppings that I like--no more, no less--and that has nothing wrong with it whatsoever right now.
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The soda you have with it expired five years ago, so you get diarrhea anyway.

I wish I had some buffalo wing-flavored popcorn.
 
You try to eat it while spinning, causing you to choke on it.

I wish that Chris would make a new video.
 
Picklechu said:
You try to eat it while spinning, causing you to choke on it.

I wish that Chris would make a new video.
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It's horrifying, deeply scarring porn, and for whatever reason he makes it just for you. You spend years and countless dollars on therapy.

I wish that the person who everyone wants fired from my company would be told to GTFO already.
 
Lady Houligan said:
It's horrifying, deeply scarring porn, and for whatever reason he makes it just for you. You spend years and countless dollars on therapy.

I wish that the person who everyone wants fired from my company would be told to GTFO already.
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He gets fired, but someone even worse comes in
I wish I had sorcerous powers
 
Abethedemon said:
You travel through time but upset one minor thing in history and the universe changes for the worse.
I wish I had more money to start playing Warhammer again.
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You now have enough money to play Warhammer again, but you only have just enough and are broke if you do so.
I wish I was a Beetle.
 
Lady Houligan said:
You're the fifth one they cut from the lineup just before they went huge.

I wish I had another Arnold Palmer.
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The Arnold Palmer clone is not as good at golf as the original, he cannot pay his share of the rent.

I wish I had an online subscription to the Oxford English Dictionary.
 
Morbid Boredom said:
The Arnold Palmer clone is not as good at golf as the original, he cannot pay his share of the rent.

I wish I had an online subscription to the Oxford English Dictionary.
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You did. Several years ago. You have fond memories of looking things up in it.

I wish I had a codfish sandwich with Bookbinder's tartar sauce on it.
 
AnOminous said:
You did. Several years ago. You have fond memories of looking things up in it.

I wish I had a codfish sandwich with Bookbinder's tartar sauce on it.
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You have it within moments of thinking of it. Unfortunately it's several weeks old.

I wish I had a second monitor for my home computer.
 
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