redpill me on the BSDs and why I should use them over Linux.
The license is the biggest difference. Modern GNU/Linux (

) is licensed under the GNU General Public License v3.
Holy fuck, look at this thing. It's pretty much the same kind of word salad you click through without reading when you install commercial software, and it's full of restrictions on what you are absolutely
not allowed to do with that software.
Now let's look at the BSD license.
Aww, it's so tiny. You could probably read the whole thing out loud in a single breath if you tried. It's much easier to understand and really doesn't have any restrictions to speak of. If you get a piece of code which is BSD-licensed, you can do pretty much whatever you damn well please with it.
You don't care about licenses because you're just an end user so you're not really worried about redistribution and so on? Okay, fine. You might like FreeBSD because it uses ports for software installation, rather than packages. What's the difference? Packages are pre-compiled, so installing them is basically the same as downloading and extracting a ZIP file on your system. With ports, your system downloads the original source code of the software, applies patches to get it to run on (in this case) FreeBSD, and then compiles it right there on the system. This means there's a lot of options about what bits and pieces you can choose to have compiled in to the final result. That sounds complicated, but FreeBSD's default ports manager uses a pretty Curses interface, so it can be just a matter of scrolling through a list and checking off the parts you like or unchecking the ones you don't need. And theoretically speaking optimizations specific to your hardware can be applied to the project as it's compiling for an extra speed boost, though in practice it might not be that much of a difference. Some other Linuxes have port managers too, but FreeBSD's has been around basically since its inception and works really well.
As for OpenBSD, it mostly expects you to use packages like most Linux distros, but I do like that significant parts, and I mean
significant, of the current POSIX ecosystem originates and, in some cases, is still largely developed by the OpenBSD team. OpenSSH, LibreSSL, TMUX, OpenBGP, and PF are all OpenBSD projects and see use far beyond OpenBSD itself (and I'm sure I'm forgetting some). Their team deserves your attention and support even if you ultimately don't use their OS.