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🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.
Btw can any of you guys red pill me on the current faith situation and if the alleged dox and possible gay ops a few pages back led to anything funny yet?
He’s tried brushing it off briefly in one of his shows this week, any mention of it is swept and apparently only a few high ranking guntguard knew of Faith leaving.
He knows he will look like a lonely fat ass drunk to even his closest of followers if he openly says he lost the Girl and his Child.
As far as what kind of men drink it...I guess "pretentious faggot" covers it? I'm not even saying that to insult Gunt, even if it clearly applies. I can't waste words on the kind of man that purchases and drinks Makers. It's sickly sweetness means it's popular with the sloppier bar-hopper girls.
What I will waste words on is a weird quirk of the booze industry.
If you know an experienced bartender and pick their brain, they'll tell you of least one lower-priced bourbon out there that's better, and not as sickly-sweet. An old bar coworker explained that X brand of cheap whiskey (the stuff the bars put in the "speed rack" that's referred to as "well whiskey" and is what you get if you order a base-price mixed drink and don't specify a preferred brand of booze in it) is actually out of the same barrels as higher priced Y whiskey, in many instances.
I remember Beam 8 Star being one such, speaking of bourbons, if you're into that shit. It's actually from the same barrels as some other more expensive and heavily marketed bourbon (that ISN'T Jim Beam, oddly enough) whose name I can't recall. They just put 8 Star in a bottle/label that screams of soup kitchens and Greyhound stations, and sell it in mass quantities to bars and the ghetto corner liquor stores. Due to it not being marketed, Jim Beam (or whatever conglomerate that owns them) makes the same amount of money on it. It's actually a pretty canny revenue diversification type thing, where they'll make more on either end, depending on market demand.
Also, suck my dick, Gunt, we know you are drinking cheaper shit anyway, whether you show the bottle on air or not. You broke, broken, gunted liquorfag.
Basically, what you're paying for when you pay for Makers is a rubbery red glop of fuck ostentatiously dribbled over the lid. It's a cool Christmas or birthday gift because it looks nice and drinks okay. Just okay. It's hype.
If a bottle is purchased for you, accept it graciously and with gratitude. They tried.
If you're a woman at a bar and it's purchased for you without you asking for it, get that rape whistle shined up and ready to go, and do not leave your drink unattended.
I envision a Carlos Castenada-esque, eating peyote with the natives kind of Gunt Spirit Quest if I were to drink a bottle of Makers...entering Gunt World. Visiting the Gunt Dimension.
...and no one wants that, which means I'll stick to filtered vodka should I tumble off the wagon and join you in drunkenness that night.
To add a bit to this as far as liquer is concerned in the realm of whisky, the price does not actually dictate the quality either. General liquer rules apply, even with whisky, such as if its in a plastic bottle it is essentially the lowest common denominator no matter what (see mccormic, heaven hill, lower quality mass produced jim bean, etc). Further still whisky is a very broad spectrum when it comes to flavor, pallete, and strength. With Ralph and his Makers you are in the bourbon category which I will not whisky autisim you about the finer points of the differences between whisky, scotch, bourbon, and rye, but the key thing that is most noticeable even to people who dont know anything about whisky is the bourbon is almost always sweeter than the other three categories. Not always, but mostly.
To steer this back to relevancy, and to further add to the gist of what @FM Bradley is talking about, Ralph is the most basic level of alcoholic who most likely chose his prefered drink by what he thinks looks cool, makes him look cool, and is easily recognizable. This makes Ralph a mark in the marketing world, or simplified, the lowest common denominator. He chooses MM not because it is nessisarily good or of a higher quality or price point than this or that, but because it is a very recognizable and it is sweet enough (which is also a highly marketed feature) that even light weights can generally handle to drink it. Ralph probably also partakes in crown royal (even though its a higher priced whisky), jack daniels (which is a meme whisky) and god aful fireball as well.
This also has a lot to do with Ralphs persona that he has marketed himself as. This is pretty obvious, but if you want a crystal clear exzibit of this, look at that KFC plantation 'fan' art he has. The persona he is trying to project for himself is the distinguished southern gentleman, and as such he is a perfect mark for the bourbon crowd because it is the only form of whisky that has established its entire marketing around being a southern pride type of drink.
And to end this off with suggestions if you actually want to get some bourban or whisky to drink while slogging through a ralph stream. Bulliet bourban is a decently priced and high quality bourban that (IMHO) is leagues above MM. Monkey Shoulder is dollar for dollar one of the best blended scotch's on the market. Jameson is a good smooth whisky that can be good sipped or shot. All of these are in comparable price ranges of MM, and all of them are just flat out better. If you want to bump up the price bracket a bit get you some Elijah Craig, Oban Little Bay, or Johny Walker Black.
There are only two rules to follow with whisky.
1 The best whisky is the one you like to drink.
2 Ethan Ralph is the equivilant of a basic white bitch when it comes to selecting his whisky.
Imagine downloading CP, hanging around with a pedo advocate, and chasing the youngest tail possible.
Then you call someone else a child enthusiast.
I'm about to start hard grifting the alt right just to steal his paypiggies away. What level of fat and drunk do I need to be to begin? Is there a starter's kit I can buy?
Race-mix, do hard drugs, suck some dick, cozy up to law-enforcement.
Develop a narcissistic feedback loop on social media. Get a good internet connection... learn OBS, audacity, Adobe Premier... shill on Chan boards ...buy as many burner phones as you can...
bot streams and find a sycophantic retard like gator... pick fights with every community you can find and pander to whomever you aren’t fighting.
The rest should take care of itself.
Maker's Mark must be the Vodka Cruisers of whiskey because I can drink it even though I have the taste in alcohol of a 14 year old girl about to get impregnated by a grown man who didn't finish high school. Oh wait that lines up well with Ralph. Carry on.
Ralph probably also partakes in crown royal (even though its a higher priced whisky), jack daniels (which is a meme whisky) and god aful fireball as well.
I still love how Ralphs buck stopped with covid on he can't go to the movie theater, when other people are losing their homes and businesses or cant visit dying family members in hospital or attend funerals the guy is such an irredeemable self centered slob of a man.
We determined the other day that she was actually knocked up more likely around late August-early September based on some information Ralph put out. There is no way they can have a gender reveal this early on.
Something smells fishy... and I don't just mean Faith.
Notice that he will find out "on the show". Thats a Freudian slip kiwi's. Do some timezone math and then ask yourself what OBGYN appointment hours would be.
Yeah done another online calculator test because I can't be fucked going through a calendar. So if the due date is the 24th of May, Faith is 14 weeks 3 days pregnant. Next week she'll be at 15 weeks. She shouldn't even be able to feel the baby kicking yet. The 'gender reveal' ultrasound is at 20 weeks. If you squint you might see something but you really can't see shit at 15 weeks, you barely even show. Ralph you're either retarded or Faith is lying to you or her doctor is literally fucking google. They are either lying because the sex tape was actually the conception tape and she's way further along than she is letting on or they are both actually completely retarded.
He probably is noticing everyone talking about how Faith isn't around and trying to find a way to get her on the show plus get a bunch of views so people will lay off. While the irl was successful by KS standards, it really made people question where the hell Faith has been. What's the next logical reveal of a pregnancy since they need some big event to own the a-logs? Gender reveal, of course. Expect in about a month the name choices reveal, then in another month the name reveal, followed by a shower a month later, etc.
We determined the other day that she was actually knocked up more likely around late August-early September based on some information Ralph put out. There is no way they can have a gender reveal this early on.
Something smells fishy... and I don't just mean Faith.
Notice that he will find out "on the show". Thats a Freudian slip kiwi's. Do some timezone math and then ask yourself what OBGYN appointment hours would be.
You can do an early test. It's a blood test. It's kinda weird and unreliable in some cases. If it comes back female, it's usually reliable, but if it comes back male, it's 50/50 on being correct because any other male presence (including animals such as obese pigs) in the house can cause the test to read male. I assume that's what he's talking about because he had mentioned before having the results in an envelope.
I don't know, he's likely going to fake it or Faith is still going to tell him even though she's gone.
People are panic buying again, dumbass. I didn't even realize until I went out to get toilet paper the other day and it was cleaned out and they're limiting to one package per customer again
You can do an early test. It's a blood test. It's kinda weird and unreliable in some cases. If it comes back female, it's usually reliable, but if it comes back male, it's 50/50 on being correct because any other male presence (including animals such as obese pigs) in the house can cause the test to read male. I assume that's what he's talking about because he had mentioned before having the results in an envelope.
I don't know, he's likely going to fake it or Faith is still going to tell him even though she's gone.
True. He is trying to imply that she will be physically present there to reveal the gender, but like I said he fucked up and accidentally spoke some truth. If Faith is not shown on screen for reveal that should be all the confirmation anyone needs that she is gone. Calling you out @theralph either show Faith on camera or come clean about her being gone. If I am an aylawg then own me faggot.
People are panic buying again, dumbass. I didn't even realize until I went out to get toilet paper the other day and it was cleaned out and they're limiting to one package per customer again
I know the test you're talking about. That test is expensive and it's usually done in the first couple of weeks (before 12 weeks) and it's to look for disabilities and trisomy and also reveals gender. It is an accurate test but it's not something you do at 15 weeks unless you're on daddy's money now and he's worried that you're bringing a retarded kid into the world.
Edit: The test is called NIPT if people want to figure out how much it costs in US.
lol ralphacel! Ladies and guntlemen this is what being a chad alpha looks like
