حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 125 13.1%
  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.7%
  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 528 55.3%
  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 228 23.9%

  • Total voters
    954
Ah, I see that you have heard of the tragedy in Charleston. I'm glad they caught the little shit. They just brought him back to South Carolina.

I've spent some time in that area and it was surreal seeing places I've been to showing up on the news.

Say, anyone remember Redesigning Eva? I hope to work on a new, significantly improved, full-blown draft of it during the dark winter months. I've been thinking about the plot, filling in the holes. One thing that always bothered me was why Eva would want to volunteer for Catharsis in the first place, other than "to find happiness". Well, I think I've found the answer.

I don't want to speak for any other Kiwis, but if you wanted help patching plot holes or fixing grammar, you've got a large amount of talent available to you here. I believe in you dude!
 
@Connor, seriously, get yourself a copy of John Gardner's On Writing Fiction and read it yesterday, if not sooner. I know the subtitle says "for young writers," but any writer can learn from this. It will help, trust.

Another good one, which is actually quite funny, is Jerome Stern's Making Shapely Fiction. It highlights common mistakes people make in both short stories and longer fiction works.

The first one is serious, the second one more sarcastic, but both are very, very good. Gardner taught fiction writing most of his life, and is the author of a novel that redoes Beowulf from the monster's POV, among many other short stories and novels. Serious bidness, @Connor. I really endorse these books.
 
@Connor, seriously, get yourself a copy of John Gardner's On Writing Fiction and read it yesterday, if not sooner. I know the subtitle says "for young writers," but any writer can learn from this. It will help, trust.

Another good one, which is actually quite funny, is Jerome Stern's Making Shapely Fiction. It highlights common mistakes people make in both short stories and longer fiction works.

The first one is serious, the second one more sarcastic, but both are very, very good. Gardner taught fiction writing most of his life, and is the author of a novel that redoes Beowulf from the monster's POV, among many other short stories and novels. Serious bidness, @Connor. I really endorse these books.

I also recommend, The Elements of Style.
http://www.amazon.com/Elements-Styl...4673783&sr=8-3&keywords=the+elements+of+style

This book helped improve my writing a lot giving advice on how to make your writing more pleasing to the reader.
 
Last edited:
One thing at a time, bro.
That could slow you down immensely though. If NASA did one thing at a time, the USSR would've made it to the moon first.

Also, if you have a large writing task, why not break it down into smaller, more manageable tasks? For example, if you were to write just one page a day, you could write a novel in less than a year. And that's taking it really slow and not having the inspiration to write an entire chapter in one night, for example.
 
Praise.
dearleader.PNG
 
@Connor, seriously, get yourself a copy of John Gardner's On Writing Fiction and read it yesterday, if not sooner. I know the subtitle says "for young writers," but any writer can learn from this. It will help, trust.

Another good one, which is actually quite funny, is Jerome Stern's Making Shapely Fiction. It highlights common mistakes people make in both short stories and longer fiction works.

The first one is serious, the second one more sarcastic, but both are very, very good. Gardner taught fiction writing most of his life, and is the author of a novel that redoes Beowulf from the monster's POV, among many other short stories and novels. Serious bidness, @Connor. I really endorse these books.

I second this notion. Grendel (the novel in question) is a Goddamn tour de force. It's evocative, insightful, very thought-provoking & all-in-all a wonderful read.
 
Last edited:
Say, anyone remember Redesigning Eva? I hope to work on a new, significantly improved, full-blown draft of it during the dark winter months.

Nobody cares what you hope to do, plan to do, aspire to do, are going to do, or any of the other future tenses. The world is full of people who hope to write novels, very few of them actually write one.
 
Say, anyone remember Redesigning Eva? I hope to work on a new, significantly improved, full-blown draft of it during the dark winter months. I've been thinking about the plot, filling in the holes. One thing that always bothered me was why Eva would want to volunteer for Catharsis in the first place, other than "to find happiness". Well, I think I've found the answer.

>Does anyone remember redesigning Eva.

I'd be impressed if anyone forgot it. How could anyone forget such a wonderful story containing characters such as Abe the gorilla and Gendo Lecter?
 
Back