Ngl kiwis. I'm in a low place.
I was already pretty isolated and depressed before all this, but I at least went out to dinner a couple times a week or to craft stores.
Now I don't even have that. Big things like holidays are cancelled so the literal weeks if prep for Xmas is too. I've cleaned my house out of boredom and there's nothing really left to clean. I can't afford to get stuff for my hobbies like cosplay and even if I did... I'm so beat down I don't even want to anymore.
Like a poster a few posts up said... The only reason I haven't an heroed is bc I couldn't do that to my grandma.
I've looked for low cost/affordable mental health care in my area and either I'm retarded and haven't found anything online, or it's few and far between around here... Plus all the big covid warnings that take up half the page on every website just chizzles a little more if my sanity away.
I don't know what to believe anymore.
I just keep telling myself "don't do that to grandma. Don't make grandma go through that..." Over and over.
Thanks for listening to my ted talk.