The Game Oversimplification Thread - Take any game and intentionally make it sound boring

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

Castlevania

Summon monsters by shooting yourself in the head

Correct.

Persona 3 I think.

New one: War has never been so much FUD.

 

[Screw Danlon]

Right, mine: Worst Trans Siberian Railway trip ever.

The Last Express?

1. Girls get ready. Girls cause problems. Girls solve problems. Girls have party. All in a day’s work. (Repeat 15 more times, give or take).

2. Spend money hiring people to clean up vomit just because you wanted to use a corkscrew.

3. A long, slow, rafting ride down the longest river in the world. As long as you avoid the wolves and boars and carry dandelion tea, you’ll probably be fine.

 

[Iä! Iä!]

2. Spend money hiring people to clean up vomit just because you wanted to use a corkscrew.

Rollercoaster Tycoon?

 

[Safir]

3. A long, slow, rafting ride down the longest river in the world. As long as you avoid the wolves and boars and carry dandelion tea, you’ll probably be fine.

The Flame in the Flood

 

[tigergrinder]

A man points and disagrees strongly.

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

A man points and disagrees strongly.

Ace Attorney

 

[Overcast]

Guy goes through monster infested ruins to put a tiny statue back. Potentially dies in lava within the first three steps.

 

[Toilet Grenade]

Birds fly at pigs just to get eggs.

 

[Unyielding Stupidity]

Luddite child destroys consumerism with the power of love.

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

Luddite child destroys consumerism with the power of love.

Mother 3

Treasure hunter goes to creepy little village, encounters cosmic Lovecraftian horrors and insta-kill soap.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

The Last Express?

1. Girls get ready. Girls cause problems. Girls solve problems. Girls have party. All in a day’s work. (Repeat 15 more times, give or take).

2. Spend money hiring people to clean up vomit just because you wanted to use a corkscrew.

3. A long, slow, rafting ride down the longest river in the world. As long as you avoid the wolves and boars and carry dandelion tea, you’ll probably be fine.

Ahhh no. Wrong locale. Good guess though.

2 is Theme Park, because RCT had visitors refuse to get on rides if they thought they were too intense. Theme Park just let them on any way.

How about this: Tourist almost murdered by clown and ends up mixing with Holy Blood, Holy Grail larpers.

 

[Syaoran Li]

An ex-con singlehandedly and unintentionally brings down a major religion while being berated with a litany of ethnic slurs

 

[The Last Stand]

1. You're stuck in a old house alongside your coworkers and you must find a bunch of keys to find your way out but your boss keeps fucking you over the whole time

Resident Evil 7

 

[Syaoran Li]

Resident Evil 7

Resident Evil 1, actually

 

[The Last Stand]

Resident Evil 1, actually

Damn. I fucked up trying to be specific. I'm counting it as a win.

Casino simulator.

The boys and a computer playing some cards because... reasons.

 

[Meat Target]

Damn. I fucked up trying to be specific. I'm counting it as a win.

Casino simulator.

The boys and a computer playing some cards because... reasons.

Poker Night at The Inventory?

An ex-con singlehandedly and unintentionally brings down a major religion while being berated with a litany of ethnic slurs

The only games I know of that involve both ex-cons and ethnic slurs are Elder Scrolls titles.

Moonman Simulator 2009: Global Hentai

 

[The Last Stand]

Poker Night at The Inventory

2!

"Casino simulator" is separate from the second oversimplification.

An ex-con singlehandedly and unintentionally brings down a major religion while being berated with a litany of ethnic slurs

Hitman Absolution?

 

[Overcast]

Birds fly at pigs just to get eggs.

Angry Birds

Travel Agent pursues a client and takes on mundane jobs along the way.

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

Travel Agent pursues a client and takes on mundane jobs along the way.

Syberia?

 

[Kosher Dill]

Casino simulator.

Trump Castle II