Name: Constance Rose Haley
Age: 22-23
Occupation: obnoxious notlikeothergirls
Location: Huntsville, Alabama then later somewhere in the Orlando area.
The main reason I'm choosing to tackle her now is I
fucking hate poodles to an irrational degree, for absolutely no reason. I would rather look at 100 more poorly-bred golden retrievers than 1 more poodle, and i'm already in a sour mood after staring at Nimbus for hours so I might as well roll with it. Some of these are out of order in places just because it was easier to group them with similar posts of the same era since she documents every single thing that happens to her.
When was was youngin' her dad developed early-onset Alzheimers. He died in late 2014 when she was 17(ish). They were very close and per her posts his death had a huge impact on her life and mental health. She also had a brother who passed before her dad although she doesn't talk about him and it's unclear if she knew him. He may have died before she was born or when she was too young to remember, something like that. I can find no information on him except a mention in his dad's obituary. Rose's account starts in March 2016 with a service pit bull for strictyl psychiatric tasks, primarily deep pressure therapy for panic attacks. I always assume when someone has a pit bull working as service dog they're trying to bait people into telling them the dog can't come in somewhere because they think all pit bulls are vicious baby eaters and Rose does nothing to change this assumption. I know they can be great companions/snuggle fiends, they enjoy working, and they are very motivated and athletic, but too many people see one and think they're inherently bad dogs.
MRI on her hips, reason unspecified. Question goes unanswered.
The dog needs to alert her to her shaking her leg because she doesn't know and it always leads to a panic attack, somehow the dog telling her she is shaking her leg will prevent the attack from happening. How do these girls take themselves seriously?
I love how they act like training this is hard work, especially with a pit bull. They absolutely thrive on this. My dad's pit bull will lay like this on anyone who lets him.
At this point Rose is working (at a froyo joint I think) and the dog does not come with her, but he does go on errands so he can somehow prevent her from having panic attacks and uh, I guess hold her keys. Obligatory sitting on the grocery store floor photos.
Dizzy from all the medications she takes. Still only psychiatric problems.
Now #spoonie #invisibledisability #invisibleillness and another attention seeker in the comments whose evil parents won't let her bring her puppy to wommart. Multiple posts after this complain of using her spoons up or having a low spoon day.
First time mentioning something other than muh panic atax: some passing gastrointestinal thing.
There we go. First post whining that people don't think pits should be service dogs, right after a post about how she's training him to work off-leash. This woman also apparently called her a faker, gave the vegan talking point about how dogs should be allowed to dog, and followed her through the store. Has a very /thathappened ring to it, it's like every single thing people in the service dog subs on reddit complain about all in one post. Anyway, this is why service dogs for anxiety are a dumb idea - the confrontation over the dog made her panic.
Remember that we first met rose at Disney as you read these posts about how she can't be in crowds without constant panic attacks.
Rose is active in her early account, taking the dog out hiking fairly regularly. Complains of pain of unspecified origin for the first time.
Obligatory "your service dog is fake and mine was a perfect angel!" post
Attention-seeking at her sister's college graduation, of course. Gotta ruin someone else's special moment cause it's not about me!
Still only tagging psychiatric problems but now she wants a pull strap for his vest.
Another one who is teaching her dog to nudge her when she cries because apparently this minor distraction will make her stop crying.
Rose: I need spoonz. I need pull strap. I have pains. Rose, one week later: I climbed a mountain!
Can't do anything unless dog.
In June we finally get an introduction post. Rose is 18 and has a bunch of psychiatric disorders and fibromyalgia. Ollie is now being used for counterbalance, something that could seriously damage his joints and back if she's yanking him around too much.
Oh wow, your dog likes to go walkies and gets excited when you put on his leash and harness? How incredible.
Dog sitting on your lap when you consistently reward him for sitting on your lap = alert.
Rose gets walking pneumonia. Ollie has a tumor on his foot that is growing quickly. Medication for insomnia, #chronicpain enters the chat.
Less than a week later, back to hiking.
The tumor saga ends up being nothing, it's benign and starts to shrink on its own so they elect not to have it surgically removed. Rose's primary concern is that if Ollie gets surgery he can't work and she might have panic attacks without him. Whattabitch.
They might have been taking pictures of your shoes with the giant holes in the toe, jussayin.
Starts her own etsy shop so you, too, can yank on your dog's joints!
another /thathappened story about mean people who are mean calling her out for not needing a service dog and telling the DOG that Rose is lying.
Mom's having surgery pay attention to
me now. #fibromyalgia - around this time she starts talking less about panic attacks and more about her awful pain and how she can't leave her bed ever.
next day; my vitamin d levels are low!!! More prescriptions! Cause you can't just get the $5 bottle of 100 softgels from Walmart or.. like.. get some sun.
Continuing to shift the narrative from muh mentuls to muh chronic pain.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA rose's art, oh god it's beautiful.
MuttButt Gear was the one Jaquie was obsessed with back then, patch in the middle has a POTS awareness ribbon.
Rose takes Oliver out "naked" (i.e. without a vest on) to many different places because it's too hot for him to wear a vest... from the air-conditioned car to the air-conditioned shop. After two days with no issue the third day someone finally takes the bait and tells her he needs a vest or she needs to leave. REEEEEEEEEE
Convinces her boss to let her bring him to work.
But don't look at him while he's working!
Rose, who calls people out for fake service dogs, is mad that an insta account is calling out fake service dogs (and
her fake service dog specifically.)
Now crowds are fine, but yoga causes panic attacks requiring dog assistance.
Rose chimping out for 9000 words because someone said "poor puppy" in her presence.
My dog does this to alert me to the fact that I'm eating food and he is not.
/thathappened If someone is the type to think the dog is naturally vicious they're not getting close enough to you to ask a question about it. I swear this girl lies about every interaction she has with other humans.
So. If you don't realize the panic attack is going to happen, and the dog "deflects" (by cuddling) so that it doesn't happen, how do you know it was going to happen? Honest question. I am trying so hard to understand these idiots who think their dog magically knows when they're about to have an episode of _____ and prevents it from happening.
Dog is sensitive to loud noises, allergic to grass.
Rose once again telling a /thathappened story that illustrates why a service dog for anxiety is a bad idea.
dizziness, pain, insomnia, panic attacks, and another weird confrontation while shopping.
Don't really wanna get into it but I'm fine. Passes out while hiking in September heat.
Lol she got ringworm from her cat.
Hmm. Dizzy, passing out, teal awareness ribbon, "my heart rate!"... where ever could this be going?
Random wrist brace. Most dogs don't like walking over grates because they are afraid they/their foot will fall through. This is normal.
Another natural alerter to heart rate, because obviously you can't feel your heart is racing. And another one who doesn't understand DogLogic and thinks instead their dog is psychic. Dipshit, your dog is nudging you because he's a dog and you have rewarded him for doing this so he believes it is good boy behavior.
As you can see for weeks it was all "MY HEART RAAAATE!" and any time Ollie came near her it was an alert to that, when previously any time he came near her it was an alert to her impending panic attacks. This one is particularly funny because you can see at the top there's a timer and at the bottom a calorie counter. She's been doing some fairly strenuous exercise. She's asked if she has POTS and responds that she has a Mayo Clinic trip to test for that coming up.
The big Mayo Clinic trip rolls around and after a week of testing, monitoring, and being poked and prodded it turns out her high heart rate and syncope are caused by . . .
Anxiety! But, rose assures us, POTS is not off the table as a diagnosis! She just has to make sure she fails to improve from the changes to her anxiety medication.
A few more doctors appointments over the next week and...
#POTS #Dysautonomia. You know, that disease Mayo clinic just told her she didn't have?
Another photo she definitely didn't post specifically to show off her wrist brace.
"Always at the doctor." "WHY DO I KEEP GETTING RESPIRATORY INFECTIONS?"
"Passed out" in the middle of the store.
Drink some water, Rose. You'll be fine. "Psychiatric service dog" has been replaced by "cardiac alert service dog" and Rose stops going to psych appointments.
Your heart rate is supposed to be elevated at the gym because you are exerting yourself. Again her HRM gives away that she's been strenuously exercising and that is why her heart rate is up. These girls are honest to god retarded, I swear. Anyway, this story is so hilariously over-dramatic. "Gonna pass out at any second, lemme document it for posterity!" Ruth in the comments telling her to drink water and eat salt. Love it.
Never in a million years would I post this publicly what the fuck is wrong with these kids.
Ahh a little foreshadowing. On December 31, 2016 (yes we're still in 2016) Rose makes a post about she's excited that now that she has her diagnoses she can go to school and start living! ...and also posts a drawing she did of a zebra. A few days later, Oliver dons a zebra print sweater.
At least she tried compression garms before going right to demanding a port.
Starting class HAHA NOPE she mysteriously got pneumonia again. How? Is she having sick people cough into her mouth? Licking doorknobs?
EDS Awareness ribbon!
Boss doesn't want the dog at work because she works with food. Takes him to work anyway.
THE WORST CASE THE DOCTOR HAS EVER SEEN
Attention Seekin' at the gym. These are supposedly two different days but she's wearing the same leggings and sitting in the same spot.
Another ER trip and the mean awful nurses wouldn't bring her a drink! Claims she has a concussion and will remain "as sedentary as possible" (perfect treatment for POTS!) Someone who passes out all the time should not be driving. She never goes back to school, to my knowledge.
Lol "worst case the doctor has seen" was code for "I'm not giving you a port, go away"
Ooh another preview of coming attractions! Rose is amazed that Ollie walks next to her wheelchair nicely at the hospital. The next day: I bought a wheelchair!
You have sciatica, Rose.
Rose has purchased the
Drive Blue Streak (she's taken the foot rests off), a $100 clunker that doesn't require any sort of doctor or insurance authorization to obtain, usually used by people who broke their leg and only need it for a few months. She's very sad it's come to this.
Next day: People actually believe I'm disabled now and wait on me hand and foot! Already planning on a custom. #eds and #ehlersdanlossyndrome finally join the hashtag parade
teehee dislocated a rib! Smiling selfie time!
another passed out - er - concussion story.
Sadly this does not turn into a MCAS saga. She starts taking all these photos that show juuuuust enough of her wheelchair to let you know she's using it but nope it's totally of my dog
Scored an appointment at Vanterbilt. POTS, EDS flare.
Now claiming hemiplegic migraines that land her in the ER multiple times in a few weeks' span. And now despite having never mentioned them in a year of whining about her every ailment, they are the WORST (she types into her phone while taking fake-sleepy selfies with sunlight beaming in her face.) Got an MRI to check for Chiari Malformation.
Same vest Jaquie had on Harlow at the time. Spoonie bullshit.
Mean actually disabled people took the disabled parking and poor fragile Rose had to roll uphill both ways in the snow.
Rare Disease Day! So in her little intro around this time last year she named only psychiatric conditions and fibromyalgia. Now she's claiming EDS, POTS, and Thalassemia Minor, but not hemiplegic migraines.
cutting one vegetable sapped her energy and appetite. She's been getting steadily fatter since she started her account a year ago, has stopped hiking, stopped going to the gym, and now uses a wheelchair.
Someone threw a puppy at her. why does this never happen to me?
Literally no one said any of this. Tattoos are so normalized now my boomer bosses all have them. If anyone contacted her it was like "hey what does that purple awareness ribbon tattoo mean?" (alzheimer's awareness for the record, and she made a post about it a few days prior that got all positive engagement)
Again, same one Jaquie was using.
Rose makes about her 100th post about some RUDE IGNORANT PERSON asking her about the dog/if the dog could be pet, someone outside of the entitled spoonie community tell her lmao calm down, rose chimps out, is told to lmao calm down again. Official notlikeothergirls haircut alert.
Ugh, migraines. Time to go sit out in the sun, take smiling selfies, and post them on social media.
These kids have no idea how excruciatingly painful a dislocated elbow is and that's funny.
Yoga, while claiming to have EDS and dislocate her everything. If you're wondering what the occasion is when she's sworn off all exercise, it's because her big appointment at Vanderbilt is coming up and she wants to make sure she can show off how bendy she is.
Another day, another concussion (which she diagnosed herself). Black eye looks more like she smudged on some grey eyeshadow. I barely saw it in a photo taken the next day.
Plumping up nicely and pulling off the "look mommy I dressed myself!" look.
In April the big Vanderbilt appointment comes! The fact that she says nothing about it other than 'I couldn't find a spot to take my dog peepees' should tell you all you need to know about how it went.
Definitely took this to show off her dog and not the reflection of her in a wheelchair.
With Vanderbilt a dud and her cheap Amazon wheelchair no longer giving her a dopamine hit, Rose starts to really turn up the munching to 11, sitting with her dog on the floor of every store, becoming an even more frequent flyer at the ER, blowing through her medications faster than she should, and finally getting admitted to the hospital which she HATES so much she has to post a thousand pictures (there were more) to remind people she's there. She stays for four days, complains that the doctors won't see her, and then is discharged. Never says why she was there or what, if anything, happened.
Zebra print smartcrutches, baby!
And now she's on disability and can give up any pretense of ever becoming a productive member of society.
In July she claims to have a five-day long migraine and goes back to the ER.
A little appetizer, Rose visits the sunshine state to get a taste of Florida Woman life. Amazingly her terrible migraines and EDS/POTS symptoms let her enjoy days of fun, theme parks, the aquarium, and the beach. Not even one concussion or pic of her sitting on the ground! No panic attacks from the mid-summer crowds at Universal.
lusting after a service dog that won't get her told that he's not really a service dog.
she's now a chewy influencer. I guess they get sent dog stuff for free and review it.
Or maybe your heart rate wasn't high and your dog wanted cuddles.
Rose continues to transform herself from almost cute in an SJW way to amorphous genderblob. Nice stretch marks on your inner thighs gorl. From hiking up mountains just a year ago, we've evolved into her heart rate spiking every time she moves at PT and being unable to walk half a mile. The POTS awareness thing is worth reading if only for the lines "I used to be a mountain climber. One morning I blacked out. I had suddenly developed POSTURAL ORTHOSTATIC TACHYCARDIA SYNDROME." I don't really think that's how it works but sure, Rose. A week later: Camping!
hahaha "dislocated my hip and couldn't get it back in for 20 minutes." A dislocated hip is excruciatingly blindingly painful, usually the result of a car accident or other traumatic injury, requires medical assistance, and takes weeks of rehab and maybe surgery to heal. You don't just pop it in and go back to life. They just make it so obvious they haven't dislocated anything, ever, not even the tip of their pinkie let alone a major joint like a hip. This is also like the 5th time she's claimed to knock herself out on the coffee table. She lives with her mom who loves her enough to drive her all over the country to see specialists, and you're gonna tell me she hasn't removed the coffee table her daughter keeps getting concussions from? "It really ties the room together?"
Rose gets a chameleon (NOT a beginners' reptile by any means), kills it in two weeks, blames someone else, gets another chameleon. i am pretty sure this one died quickly too.
Going to target to take selfies every day like she's the Lich Queen. Somewhere in there gets another wrist brace.
WORST DOCTORS EVER!!!
