Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

I really wish youtube hadn't auto deleted this comment.

He doesn't have anger issues or anything though.

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ThomasAudley said:
I vote that Lucas is too incompetent to get on the plane, but a SoCal saga would be amazing.
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That depends on how literally you mean getting on the plane. He's likely too stupid to be able to get through security or get his boarding pass, but I could see him getting desperate enough to try to hold on to the wing to get to california

I can see it now, lucas freezing and suffocating to death with a deathgrip on the wing as someone looks out their window and, horrified, calls the flight attendant over to see for herself:

'Miss! Miss! There is a gremlin hobo on the side of the plane! Its trying to tear the wing apart and make us crash!'
'Don't worry, its just the wern, desperate to get to california to meet his imaginary zoomer bae. He'll die and slide off the wing and fall into some wilderness area smashed into a big red stain any minute now. Can I get you another drink?'
 
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People keep saying "SFO." Does he have a layover? Because the airport code for Spokane Intl is GEG. Seattle-Tacoma is SEA. SFO is San Francisco. I didnt look too closely at the flight info posted a few pages back.
 
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GleamingTheQ-Bert said:
What time does his flight leave tomorrow? Can we get an estimate of when he would need to leave to make the flight? If it's the same as the airports I've been to, don't you have to arrive at least an hour before your flight, otherwise they won't let you board?
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You need to be checked in 45 minutes before boarding (or departure? Fuck I forget). If checked in beforehand, on a light day, you might get by getting to the airport 30-45 before departure in a small/medium size airport, but your would have to move quick. I dont know how big GEG is. Holiday you want at least 90 minutes (the generally advised 2 hours is good to avoid running/powerwalking and sweatily staring at your watch as you wait for security). If you need to check in at counter probably tack on another 30.

If he accidentally leaves his knife in his bag, they'll just take it out and tell him he can't fly with it and run the bag again, so long as he says "oops, didnt realize it was in there" (if they even catch it). No biggie.
 
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Particle Bored said:
People keep saying "SFO." Does he have a layover? Because the airport code for Spokane Intl is GEG. Seattle-Tacoma is SEA. SFO is San Francisco. I didnt look too closely at the flight info posted a few pages back.
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He has a layover in San Francisco, you’re looking at the itinerary of the last leg of his flight in the texts.
Sevan Vosgi said:
As much as I want this saga to happen, I don't think Lucas is competent enough to get to the airport, through security, to the gate, etc all on his own. Disappointing but I think true. I guess we'll see tomorrow though. Hopefully we at least get some more details and preferably a freakout when he misses the flight or whatever else.
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According to United Airlines’ website he can reschedule his flight if he misses it. It isn’t clear if it costs money but I know Southwest you can catch the next plane out at no cost.
 
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ThomasAudley said:
I vote that Lucas is too incompetent to get on the plane, but a SoCal saga would be amazing.
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+1

Does he even have valid ID? You CAN fly without a traditional ID (license, passport, whatever), but typically you need to be incredibly polite, cooperative, and consent to a full private pat down, as well as showing credit cards, prescriptions, or anything else where your identity would've been checked already. I'm not sure Lucas has any of those things (I don't think an EBT card counts...) and he definitely WON'T be calm enough for TSA to let no traditional ID fly.

I anticipate this being the biggest problem even if he does e.g. catch the bus to the airport on time miraculously.
 
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WonderWino said:
That depends on how literally you mean getting on the plane. He's likely too stupid to be able to get through security or get his boarding pass, but I could see him getting desperate enough to try to hold on to the wing to get to california

I can see it now, lucas freezing and suffocating to death with a deathgrip on the wing as someone looks out their window and, horrified, calls the flight attendant over to see for herself:

'Miss! Miss! There is a gremlin hobo on the side of the plane! Its trying to tear the wing apart and make us crash!'
'Don't worry, its just the wern, desperate to get to california to meet his imaginary zoomer bae. He'll die and slide off the wing and fall into some wilderness area smashed into a big red stain any minute now. Can I get you another drink?'
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And then when they cart Captain Kirk away, wearing a straitjacket and screaming about hobos on the wings, the camera will pan up to the wing where we'll see the wrapper for a single cocktail pep. End scene.
 
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Sevan Vosgi said:
+1

Does he even have valid ID? You CAN fly without a traditional ID (license, passport, whatever), but typically you need to be incredibly polite, cooperative, and consent to a full private pat down, as well as showing credit cards, prescriptions, or anything else where your identity would've been checked already. I'm not sure Lucas has any of those things (I don't think an EBT card counts...) and he definitely WON'T be calm enough for TSA to let no traditional ID fly.

I anticipate this being the biggest problem even if he does e.g. catch the bus to the airport on time miraculously.
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If he gets food stamps and disability, he will have ID, he needs proper ID to get on those programs.
 
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GleamingTheQ-Bert said:
And then when they cart Captain Kirk away, wearing a straitjacket and screaming about hobos on the wings, the camera will pan up to the wing where we'll see the wrapper for a single cocktail pep. End scene.
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Speaking of which you just know he's going to try to get all the free cocktail peanuts, pepsticks and drinks he can squeeze out of the stewardess
 
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My prediction: Lucas won't have the wherewithal to get himself to the airport, go through check-in, boarding, security, etc. BTW United charges 30 bucks per checked bag and is VERY strict about size restrictions for carry-ons. Of course, there are no "carry-ons" on an Embrarer jet, which the flight from Spokane to SFO will be. Those things are TINY and I doubt he could fit his fat ass in a seat. Oh, and they don't take EBT. Oh, and it's Christmas week, Oh, and COVID.

We shall see.

WonderWino said:
Speaking of which you just know he's going to try to get all the free cocktail peanuts, pepsticks and drinks he can squeeze out of the stewardess
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They only serve water and alcoholic beverages now (they can't open soda cans because COVID). And they don't take EBT.
 
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darkwingosonichugorl said:
Yes, to get on those programs which I assume he did many years ago with help from others. Lucas probably loses everything regularly.
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Dispensaries require you to have government ID in order to be allowed to walk in the door, legal states have statewide databases that track a person’s purchase history so they can monitor for things like illegally selling weed, trafficking to other states, etc etc etc.
 
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mothman96 said:
Given that the Freak is still demanding to be hooked up/introduced to a Gen Z girl, it doesn't look like he'll be making the trip to California. King Roy will have to make do without being grandfather to a little wernling.

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If the catfish really did fall apart, then I'm going to have to laugh at the idiot who dropped money on a ticket for Lucas that he didn't even use.

And also, drop your receipts. No reason to hold off any longer.
 
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