What number of sexual partners is too much, in your opinion?

[JudgementKazzy]

Personally, it is best for her to have 0-1 partners prior to our relationship, but my absolute maximum is three. Three strikes and you're pretty much out.

Also here are some studies about sex partners:
More sexual partners correlate strongly with higher rates of divorce
Among women, higher amounts of sex partners negatively correlate with level of educational attainment
Article listing a compilation of studies on sexual partners.

 

[NerdShamer]

Basically, polygamy doesn't really pan out, in the long run.

 

[Queen Elizabeth II]

I said 2-4, but that's more of a proviso for "It depends on what those previous relationships were like".

There are some folks out there who do just have rotten luck and pick the worst people; I know men and women who've has every partner theyve ever been with cheat on them. Conversely, there are people who have been in toxic marriages for 15+ years with their childhood sweethearts who are nothing short of warped in their expectations.

I would also add that how many women the man has been with is also neglected as a factor in relationship breakdowns. A man who sees women as disposable and sex as recreation alone isnt likely going to be able to sustain a relationship of any kind for long.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

It depends, it really fucking depends. What are we defining as "sexual"?
I really could care less who a potential partner rubbed off in highschool or what she did with her LTR in college. However, if she routinely gets spit-roasted and lets randos run train on her, not only is it not gonna work out but she's also health risk to myself and our potential future children.
Alternatively, I'd rather my hypothetical wife have rubbed off/got fingered by 20 normal dudes in college than have been fucked in the ass by 1 rando from POF/Tinder

If I were a woman, I would take a guy who banged 10 straight girls in the pussy over a guy who had gay poopy disease sex with 1 one other man.
(Its also weird, because considering females are the sex to be penetrated/have foreign fluids put in them, you think they would be pickier about how many former sex partners their potential mates would have?)

While I think there is something to the "more sexual partners = less effective pair bonding", there are two issues to that theory 1) implying that more sexual partners is the cause, and not vice-versa (e.g. if you suck at forming meaningful relationships, you are more likely to sleep around and bounce into and out of relationships), and 2) its proponents rarely apply the same standard to men (who are arguably just as, if not more affected by it).

 

[Kosher Dill]

I expect my partner to be a virgin before, during, and after sex with me.

 

[JudgementKazzy]

It depends, it really fucking depends. What are we defining as "sexual"?
I really could care less who a potential partner rubbed off in highschool or what she did with her LTR in college. However, if she routinely gets spit-roasted and lets randos run train on her, not only is it not gonna work out but she's also health risk to myself and our potential future children.
Alternatively, I'd rather my hypothetical wife have rubbed off/got fingered by 20 normal dudes in college than have been fucked in the ass by 1 rando from POF/Tinder

If I were a woman, I would take a guy who banged 10 straight girls in the pussy over a guy who had gay poopy disease sex with 1 one other man.
(Its also weird, because considering females are the sex to be penetrated/have foreign fluids put in them, you think they would be pickier about how many former sex partners their potential mates would have?)

While I think there is something to the "more sexual partners = less effective pair bonding", there are two issues to that theory 1) implying that more sexual partners is the cause, and not vice-versa (e.g. if you suck at forming meaningful relationships, you are more likely to sleep around and bounce into and out of relationships), and 2) its proponents rarely apply the same standard to men (who are arguably just as, if not more affected by it).

I think the general preconception of "sexual partner" means penetration. At least that is what my definition is. Fingerbanging doesn't count as having a sexual partner in my opinion.

And yeah, I do agree with the fact that there are just as important, if not more important factors, with choosing partner besides their body count.

And to your issues with that theory, I think to a certain extent that a high body count indicates a really liberal choosing of what partners you have. Some people, like myself, find that really undesirable, but it all boils down to personal preference. I don't put generally judge people just purely because of how many sexual partners they have, it's not a factor when I decide who I pick as friends or not. However when it comes to choosing who I want to be with for at least a very significant amount of my life and to have children with, that's a very different ball game. I am not very interested in the risk of having a divorce, not only it would be a really bad struggle that I have to face with, but potentially my future children I would have to face as well.

Yeah and I also agree that it is a bit worrying that this standard is not applied to men as well.

 

[Just A Butt]

premarital sex is a sin.
adultery is a sin.
divorce is a sin.

two or more makes you a dirty sinning slut.

 

[Dysnomia]

For which gender?

For Men: unlimited

For Women: 5

What about anal? Can women have unlimited anal as long as the vag is limited to five different dicks max

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

For which gender?

For Men: unlimited

For Women: 5

Interesting take, but I tend to agree because it parallels my own life experience. There are lots of women I had sex with that didn't want a "relationship," they just wanted sex and I obliged. Felt no moral underpinnings about it whatsoever. Along the old line -- everyone wants a lady in the streets but a freak in the bedroom.

"How many people have you slept with?" is not a question that should be asked by either party in the relationship to determine the merit of said relationship. Age also plays a role here -- it's one thing to be in your early 20's and both partner's sexual lives are young. It's another thing when you're my age and/or dating women of my age -- if you haven't had a few serious or just sexual relationships, it's likely you're damaged goods.

Some questions are better left unasked.

 

[JudgementKazzy]

Added the option of "No Number is Too Much"

 

[Ruin]

Americsn promiscuity is greatly exaggerated by the internet. According to the PEW global attitudes survey the average number of sexual partners over a lifetime is five for men and seven for women.

 

[Cope or Rope]

i hate promiscous women. If she can ditch them then you know damn well she's capable of ditching you.

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

the average number of sexual partners over a lifetime is five for men

I would certainly skew their statistics! Hahahahaha!!!!

Still, I find those numbers generally believable, based on what I've seen of family and friends overall. Even less in most cases.

 

[JudgementKazzy]

I would certainly skew their statistics! Hahahahaha!!!!

Still, I find those numbers generally believable, based on what I've seen of family and friends overall. Even less in most cases.

Although it could be argued that since these are self-reported studies, men could lie usually to be higher and women lie to be lower.

But yeah I think that stat is closest to the truth.

 

[OrionBalls]

For a dude, I would prefer no more than five. Same as for a woman. That allows for several long term relationships (E- Three years or longer is what I consider a long term relationship.) and also an occasional hook-up. But I'm a fucking prude cis woman.

 

[A Cardboard Box]

It literally does not matter lmao.

 

[NerdShamer]

premarital sex is a sin.
adultery is a sin.
divorce is a sin.

two or more makes you a dirty sinning slut.

You left out the part on using contraceptives is the biggest sin of all.

 

[Lady Adjani]

Hard to say, it's the type of question you never want to ask your partner, or have one of your friends bring up during your weekly D&D campaign. What you want to watch out for is how long each relationship lasted, assuming it wasn't just casual sex, and if he / she has ever cheated.

 

[Local Fed]

Went with 2-4, but to be clear 4 would have been my max number. I can understand having a high school boyfriend or something, maybe even a little fling. Maybe a couple of serious relationships too. Context matters a lot. If the 4 were all just drunken fucks in some bathroom of a bar then it's a whole other story. An ideal number while staying realistic would be 3, but in the age of birth control, social media and far looser standards regarding sex even that seems borderline unrealistic unless you're looking for a swamp creature. The few who may be out there that are decent enough looking, well adjusted and haven't been with a bunch of guys are probably well above considering me anyway.

 

[Reverend]

Practice makes Perfect. Virgins are terrible and I'm tired of teaching.

Doesn't matter how many people they've banged as long as they know what they want and doing good to go.