Diseased Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

[fuzzyrodent85]

I am currently stable thanks. my back isn't great but it's not getting worse so that's a plus.
I've already seen the entire thread. as I said, im not fussed about you making fun of witchcraft, I just came to ask everyone to stop speculating about my personal life.
yes, im aware now, the mod already said you don't reach out, as a rule.
I am sorry for double posting, I only signed up today, I dont know how to do the multiple quote things, and I double posted because I saw another comment after I responded. I promise I won't be a pain in the arse for long lmao

Yeah, you don't have to worry about us pestering you on dumblr. By the way, what do you think about this picture I painted of you?

 

[angiethewitch]

See the little "Quote" thing in the bottom right corner? Click that and it will change from + to -. That means a post has been added to your multi-quote. Then you can go to the bottom, click on "Insert quotes" and they'll all be in the post and you can add comments.
Also, if you read the whole post, I still stand by my stretch recommendations from earlier.

those stretches were actually very helpful, so thanks. and thanks for helping me out with commenting

 

[verygayFrogs]

Jesus wtf happened in this thread?

Spoiler

https://lofijazz.tumblr.com/post/186222866125/i-took-this-from-twitter-because-its-no-joke-a for once someone has good info.

The tumble app has group chats so I found this

this feels like a Pinterest meme

I’m not sure what’s worse, the demon or the emoji spell

 

[angiethewitch]

Jesus wtf happened in this thread?

Spoiler

https://lofijazz.tumblr.com/post/186222866125/i-took-this-from-twitter-because-its-no-joke-a for once someone has good info.

View attachment 1855573
The tumble app has group chats so I found this
View attachment 1855577
this feels like a Pinterest meme
View attachment 1855581
I’m not sure what’s worse, the demon or the emoji spell

just wanna say, as someone from witchblr: emoji spells are one of the most ridiculous things to come out of witchblr and they're bullshit. they could just call them affirmations.

 

[Mepsi Pax]

I am sorry you feel that way.

In response to accusations of being egotistical, I dunno I ljl'd anyway

I love it when the weirdos actually show up, really makes everything come full circle, a truly meta(static) experience.

 

[EyelessMC]

Yeah, you don't have to worry about us pestering you on dumblr. By the way, what do you think about this picture I painted of you?

View attachment 1855559

No period blood, no buy. Although you did catch her lovely gaze perfectly, and her hair gives that "I'm one with nature" vibe

I am currently stable thanks. my back isn't great but it's not getting worse so that's a plus.
I've already seen the entire thread. as I said, im not fussed about you making fun of witchcraft, I just came to ask everyone to stop speculating about my personal life. [...] I promise I won't be a pain in the arse for long lmao

What made you turn to witchcraft in the first place?

 

[NoReturn]

It's currently 2am in Wales, ergo, while we wait on baited breath for Angie's return, let's watch some idiots (great suggestion, @Nagibatel):

Real witches react to Witchtok

The black lipstick gives her power.

Hai spirituul baybes!

This video is just her smiling and acting like someone's "chill big sister" for 15 minutes.

Compilations

First video made me curious to find this person and she's something special. If anyone knows how to embed tiktoks, go to town: https://www.tiktok.com/@jessie_streek

Spoiler

 

[EyelessMC]

Real witches react to Witchtok

I wish...

 

[Rotter]

Do these girls have a favourite Grand Inquisitor?
Diego de Deza looked like a friendly bloke.

 

[angiethewitch]

What made you turn to witchcraft in the first place?

it's a long story. but essentially, I'd always been pretty interested in that stuff. when I was like 11 or something i found 2 books on witchcraft in a charity shop and I took them to my best friend's house and we mucked around with them, I kept the books at her house because my mum was Christian. I faded out of that phase but had a passing interest in it. then I watched the BBC merlin show and got really fascinated by the history of the druids and the arthurian legends. I think that's the first time I ever felt hiraeth (a welsh term).

then when I was like 16 I went to college and took a fine art course and did my final exam project on witchcraft and welsh mythology. I did a lot of research for it and then when I was 18, after my breakdown and starting trauma therapy, I turned to witchcraft. I liked the idea of having power when I had none, I was dealing with trauma and idk I liked it. it felt like I was taking something back. I felt in control again. since then I've been practicing.

 

[NoReturn]

hiraeth

Hiraeth is kind of like Fernweh, right? That sad, empty "I want to go home but I can't" feeling for a place you've never been.

 

[angiethewitch]

Hiraeth is kind of like Fernweh, right? That sad, empty "I want to go home but I can't" feeling for a place you've never been.

yeah, here is a bit I wrote about hiraeth in answer to a question I received about someone wanting to reconnect with their heritage:

it doesn't really translate to English but that's the best explanation I can give

 

[EyelessMC]

it's a long story. but essentially, I'd always been pretty interested in that stuff. when I was like 11 or something i found 2 books on witchcraft in a charity shop [...] got really fascinated by the history of the druids and the arthurian legends.

Sounds fairly normal so far.

then when I was like 16 I went to college and took a fine art course

Found the problem.

I'm just kidding.
It's actually interesting that you felt such a deep connection to your ancestry after learning about ancient druids and King Arthur, let alone that you kept such affection for it after going through college. When did you suspect you might be connected to the druids? Or is it more of an adoption aspect, that you feel at home with this really intriguing culture which was once part of the Welsh?
Also is it common where you are for 16yr olds to get into college or did you just ace it and get a scholarship?

And "hiraeth", huh? Reminds me of old Celtic speak. Always so expressive and falls beautifully on the ear.

and took a fine art course and did my final exam project on witchcraft and welsh mythology. I did a lot of research for it and then when I was 18, after my breakdown and starting trauma therapy, I turned to witchcraft. I liked the idea of having power when I had none, I was dealing with trauma and idk I liked it. it felt like I was taking something back. I felt in control again. since then I've been practicing.

Ah, I see. I come from a family of mental illness so I know how terrible a mental breakdown can be, especially one tethered to inborn trauma. Do you mind if I ask what caused the breakdown? I know sometimes there are certain triggers, even things like turning a certain age or something bringing someone to recall a long buried memory, or in the case of someone I love it was intense stress and loneliness.

As for finding witchcraft to give you that sense of control and agency again, I'm interested. You said your mother was a Christian and often people who endure a trauma and have a religious background often turn to that familiar faith for hope and security, and in that control and reclamation. Is it that you felt uncomfortable with Christianity or that, after becoming so enamored with folklore and druid culture, witchcraft felt more familiar to you?

 

[angiethewitch]

Sounds fairly normal so far.

Found the problem.

I'm just kidding.
It's actually interesting that you felt such a deep connection to your ancestry after learning about ancient druids and King Arthur, let alone that you kept such affection for it after going through college. When did you suspect you might be connected to the druids? Or is it more of an adoption aspect, that you feel at home with this really intriguing culture which was once part of the Welsh?
Also is it common where you are for 16yr olds to get into college or did you just ace it and get a scholarship?

it was more of an adoption thing, funnily enough I was actually adopted (born in wales though, lived in Wales all my life) by an English family and as a result of colonialism I lived in a pretty English area, so I was estranged from my heritage. when I started learning I never wanted to stop, it felt right. I reconnected with my culture.

yeah, we finish high school at 16 and then go to college, then university. its different in America, I think.

And "hiraeth", huh? Reminds me of old Celtic speak. Always so expressive and falls beautifully on the ear.

absolutely agree.

Ah, I see. I come from a family of mental illness so I know how terrible a mental breakdown can be, especially one tethered to inborn trauma. Do you mind if I ask what caused the breakdown? I know sometimes there are certain triggers, even things like turning a certain age or something bringing someone to recall a long buried memory, or in the case of someone I love it was intense stress and loneliness.

I had a breakdown because I was dealing (or not dealing) with trauma. I don't particularly wanna go into it here but ive been through a lot of shit, including gangs and drugs and awful stuff. im also schizophrenic which contributed, and i was in rehab for drug and alcohol addiction. my liver was on the brink of failure so it was recover or die. a lot of things culminated into just Too Much for me to deal with, as well as working 60 hours a week (and that was the paid hours).

As for finding witchcraft to give you that sense of control and agency again, I'm interested. You said your mother was a Christian and often people who endure a trauma and have a religious background often turn to that familiar faith for hope and security, and in that control and reclamation. Is it that you felt uncomfortable with Christianity or that, after becoming so enamored with folklore and druid culture, witchcraft felt more familiar to you?

witchcraft always felt more familiar to me, but it was more the welsh mythology aspect that appealed to me. the witchcraft is kinda an add on to that, but im first and foremost a welsh polytheist.

I definitely suffered due to Christianity, but my mum had odd phases where she would get very interested in the metaphysical. we would have some interesting conversations about past lives, magic, that kinda thing. she lent me some interesting biographies by a woman named Joan Grant who claimed to have past lives. so although my mum was Christian, she had odd interests.

 

[The best and greatest]

Its funny, actual study of magick isn't nearly as sexy as Tumblrinas make it out to be. Its mostly a lot of reading and quiet contemplation over symbols.

Almost like a religion or something.

Meanwhile you have a bunch of Crowley wannabes making a mockery of the entire concept with thier gaudy, showy, overly elaborate 'rituals' that do nothing but impresses the local idiots, maybe that hot goth chick you're into.

 

[EyelessMC]

I reconnected with my culture.

Legit almost brought a tear to my eye. I wish more people felt like this.

yeah, we finish high school at 16 and then go to college, then university. its different in America, I think.

Definitely different. Americans are given final statewide tests at 17 or 18 which entail Maths, Writing and Competitive Eating. Once it's down to the last burger it becomes an American Gladiators match on the cafeteria table. Winner goes to college.

I had a breakdown because I was dealing (or not dealing) with trauma. I don't particularly wanna go into it here but ive been through a lot of shit, including gangs and drugs and awful stuff. im also schizophrenic which contributed, [...] as well as working 60 hours a week (and that was the paid hours).

Wow! You've really been through a war zone and back. Don't worry I won't pry. Considering all that, though, I'm surprised (and glad) worse didn't happen for the mental breakdown. I assume you still see a doctor, at least for the schizophrenia, which is healthy. On this site we have a lot of people who are either schizophrenic themselves or know someone who is; my own uncle is schizophrenic for example. He was diagnosed in his teen years shortly after a terrible family incident involving his horribly abusive father and a brick. It isn't the type where there's auditory hallucinations but rather a kind of progressively manic form of disordered thinking, partly from genetics but mostly from the kind of abuse he suffered since a child (being woken up by a baseball bat, etc.)
Thankfully he still sees his doctor and stays on top of his medicine, but he has to be in a facility to this day. He's very dear to my heart.

Again if you don't mind me asking, what kind of schizophrenia do you have?

witchcraft always felt more familiar to me, but it was more the welsh mythology aspect that appealed to me. the witchcraft is kinda an add on to that, but im first and foremost a welsh polytheist.

So do you earnestly worship the old Welsh gods? If so, in what way?
This is the kind of thing we in this thread often stutter over since you'd be surprised how some tumblr witches (witchblr) choose to worship their chosen deities...and how little they choose to know about said deities. Considering your heart for Wales I think we can rest assured you don't take your polytheism from TV shows like "Supernatural" or Doctor Who like they seem to.

I definitely suffered due to Christianity

In what way? Did you feel like it was erasing your druid ancestry or was there something more specific about it, or perhaps how it was practiced?

but my mum had odd phases where she would get very interested in the metaphysical. we would have some interesting conversations about past lives, magic, that kinda thing. she lent me some interesting biographies by a woman named Joan Grant who claimed to have past lives. so although my mum was Christian, she had odd interests.

Odd interests yes, though it does sound like interesting and rather heartwarming bonding. Was your father into it, too?
Also, is it true that you're married?

 

[angiethewitch]

Legit almost brought a tear to my eye. I wish more people felt like this.

Definitely different. Americans are given final statewide tests at 17 or 18 which entail Maths, Writing and Competitive Eating. Once it's down to the last burger it becomes an American Gladiators match on the cafeteria table. Winner goes to college.

haha, very funny

Wow! You've really been through a war zone and back. Don't worry I won't pry. Considering all that, though, I'm surprised (and glad) worse didn't happen for the mental breakdown. I assume you still see a doctor, at least for the schizophrenia, which is healthy. On this site we have a lot of people who are either schizophrenic themselves or know someone who is; my own uncle is schizophrenic for example. He was diagnosed in his teen years shortly after a terrible family incident involving his horribly abusive father and a brick. It isn't the type where there's auditory hallucinations but rather a kind of progressively manic form of disordered thinking, partly from genetics but mostly from the kind of abuse he suffered since a child (being woken up by a baseball bat, etc.)
Thankfully he still sees his doctor and stays on top of his medicine, but he has to be in a facility to this day. He's very dear to my heart.

yes, im currently in therapy for my schizophrenia. it took a while because the welsh NHS is in shambles, but I really like my therapist. im glad your uncle is doing well, I hope one day he can re enter the world.

Again if you don't mind me asking, what kind of schizophrenia do you have?

not entirely sure, im still in the process of getting an official diagnosis. but my birth mother has paranoid schizophrenia so I might have something similar.

So do you earnestly worship the old Welsh gods? If so, in what way?
This is the kind of thing we in this thread often stutter over since you'd be surprised how some tumblr witches (witchblr) choose to worship their chosen deities...and how little they choose to know about said deities. Considering your heart for Wales I think we can rest assured you don't take your polytheism from TV shows like "Supernatural" or Doctor Who like they seem to.

well considering how little we know about the welsh gods, we don't really know how they were worshipped except for the druids throwing people off cliffs as offerings. im not exactly about to do that.
so I worship them by caring for the environment (reducing my carbon footprint, gardening, growing my own food, donating to environmental causes, that kinda thing). I also pray to them and give standard offerings, like wine, bread, mead. I research into my history and use that time as a dedication to them, if that makes sense. I observe traditional celtic holidays.

In what way? Did you feel like it was erasing your druid ancestry or was there something more specific about it, or perhaps how it was practiced?

religious trauma. I grew up very repressed and God fearing. it really damaged me.

Odd interests yes, though it does sound like interesting and rather heartwarming bonding. Was your father into it, too?
Also, is it true that you're married?

I don't have a father, my mums husband died in the 70s and my birth father was estranged, ive never met him. my mum decided to foster after she lost her husband and her parents. and yes, I am married.

 

[Bixnood]

just wanna say, as someone from witchblr: emoji spells are one of the most ridiculous things to come out of witchblr and they're bullshit. they could just call them affirmations.

honestly I'm starting to think this whole witchcraft thing is bullshit.

 

[EyelessMC]

yes, im currently in therapy for my schizophrenia. it took a while because the welsh NHS is in shambles, but I really like my therapist. im glad your uncle is doing well, I hope one day he can re enter the world.

Me too. Thanks for the sentiment and I'm sincerely glad you found a good therapist you can trust. Does she know about your practice?

well considering how little we know about the welsh gods, we don't really know how they were worshipped except for the druids throwing people off cliffs as offerings. im not exactly about to do that.

lol Funny, and glad to hear it. Honestly with your love of nature you sound like someone who would do great in a wildlife preserve.
Also glad to see the standard offerings make sense. No crazy additives like bodily fluid; you'd be shocked at how often we keep coming across that on witchblr. I wonder why more of witchblr doesn't discourage that stuff. Maybe then we wouldn't wind up with period blood paintings of baphomet or whatever.

I research into my history and use that time as a dedication to them, if that makes sense.

Sure it does. Pretty much any faith considers study of said faith to be a time of spiritual meditation--Christians with their Bible, Muslims with their Quran, so on. I can see it being the same for druids and their culture.

religious trauma. I grew up very repressed and God fearing. it really damaged me.

Sounds genuinely horrible. I'm sorry to hear that. Reminds me of the "dirty pillows" line from the mother in Carrie. In abstract that line is funny but in context it's not. It's part of protracted abuse from an unwell mother who finds her daughter's natural development to be sexually impure (only worsened by her supernatural powers developing).
Was it something like that, where natural development was harshly misunderstood? Or was the repression of a different stifling nature? The way you wrote that brings me to assume it was far worse than, like some parents, just banning Pokemon from the house because they thought Pikachu was demons.

I don't have a father, my mums husband died in the 70s and my birth father was estranged, ive never met him. my mum decided to foster after she lost her husband and her parents. and yes, I am married.

Again I'm sorry to hear that. Thankfully the marriage seems like a silver lining. Does your husband get involved in your practices?

 

[angiethewitch]

Me too. Thanks for the sentiment and I'm sincerely glad you found a good therapist you can trust. Does she know about your practice?

my therapist is a man, but yes. my old trauma therapist knew about it too. they think it's a healthy coping mechanism, but my current psychosis therapist likes to check in with me regarding it, because I've had religious delusions in the past. so he likes to check on my state of mind when practicing, to ensure its not detrimental to my mental health and recovery.

lol Funny, and glad to hear it. Honestly with your love of nature you sound like someone who would do great in a wildlife preserve.

yeah I'd love to work in a nature reserve. theres loads near me, one down the road I like to walk in. however I'd have to work officially with Cadw, these places aren't owned independently, and theyre largely left untouched besides maintenence like cutting down trees, and they use private companies for that. ive always wanted to visit the nature reserves in America, especially the PNW.

Also glad to see the standard offerings make sense. No crazy additives like bodily fluid; you'd be shocked at how often we keep coming across that on witchblr. I wonder why more of witchblr doesn't discourage that stuff. Maybe then we wouldn't wind up with period blood paintings of baphomet or whatever.

I mean I can kinda see where those witches are coming from. blood has always been used as an offering, and menstrual blood is very sterile. I personally think its a bit gross, especially painting with it, where it would go mouldy and stink. in my uni art course, we were shown an artist who uses his own blood to create life size sculptures. his first sculpture got all gross, so now he has to keep his work in very carefully regulated refrigerator units in galleries. so I think using period blood is weird, but downright gross when they paint with it and not use any preservatives or anti fungal techniques.

Sounds genuinely horrible. I'm sorry to hear that. Reminds me of the "dirty pillows" line from the mother in Carrie. In abstract that line is funny but in context it's not. It's part of protracted abuse from an unwell mother who finds her daughter's natural development to be sexually impure (only worsened by her supernatural powers developing).
Was it something like that, where natural development was harshly misunderstood? Or was the repression of a different stifling nature? The way you wrote that brings me to assume it was far worse than, like some parents, just banning Pokemon from the house because they thought Pikachu was demons.

I actually identified with Carrie a lot. it's hard to explain, and it comes back to me in flashes. it was just standard Catholic indoctrination and upbringing. when I came out as bisexual for example I wasn't allowed near my baby nieces and I had to eat food separately. to be honest I don't really want to go into it, it's still something I'm coming to terms with. it was very culty, just not an actual cult.

Again I'm sorry to hear that. Thankfully the marriage seems like a silver lining. Does your husband get involved in your practices?

my marriage is definitely my silver lining! I love my husband and my stepdaughter.

my husband is a bit of a skeptic. he enjoys hearing about my practice, we enjoy debating about how real it is. he's not sure what he believes, and I think that healthy dose of skepticism is good for my practice, as I can analyse my results through a critical lense and see if it was just wishful thinking. he enjoys observing welsh traditions with me though. he's a historian and archaeologist, he has a degree in them. so his work actually helps me with my work, like when he finds info on something that has been used in druid rituals or whatever. on our hikes we enjoy talking about it. its surprising how much science ties in with witchcraft. for example, we went to a lake and I loved swimming in it, I was convinced it was magical because of how good it made me feel, how clean the water was. turns out the lake is on top of an old iron mine, so the "magic" i was feeling was actually all the minerals in the water that made it so refreshing.