I used to be like it. Fuck, as far back as Grade 4 I had a fucking list of crushes. A top 7. lol.
I was rejected up until I graduated. I had to call in a favor to have a date to the Grad. Whats worse, my dad dropped in, in full military formal dress no less. Fucked the whole night up.
I used to be resentful. I ended up deciding "They either are afraid I'm gonna ask them to fuck me or they know I dont want to fuck them yet".
It all ended when I went to college. I got a girlfriend that lasted till february just before Valentines day. Then I got cucked. The joke here is that I was the orignal cuck because I got her from her old boyfriend who she never did anything with. I got real resentful after that. But then I started dating someone else. We were on and off for a little while but then like three or four years ago she died of a brain aneurysm (she had Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome plus a couple of small strokes. She was like 22.)
I have a wonderful girlfriend now that taught me it's all to do with personalities. I'm friends with the first one again (she has two kids now, so I'm not interested in anything further, she's grown up a lot and she has a wonderful man now that is a good guy and a good father to the kids) and now I'm living it up trying to further myself after a slump whereby I got diagnosed with depression (in remission), Specific Learning Disabilities (my short term memory and my decision making skills suck but my apparent intellect (verbal comprehension is one facet that is really strong in this) and long term memory is off the charts) and Aspergers Syndrome.
And the best part? I never begged my psychiatrist for sex!
You can always better yourself. You just have to shed your hatred and your prior convictions and start paying the fuck attention to how the world works and how your mind works.
I only once chased after the "super hot" types. After a while I stopped seeing them as hot when I realized personality and interests feature greatly as a contributing factor to being together for a lasting period.
Maybe you should start getting interests that you can share, Holden. Forget about sex for a while. It's not a basic need. It's not necessary for survival. You'll get it when you start earning respect and trust. It's not something to be given out for free. It's worth effort. If you can't understand that, and that the underdeveloped shithole you live in does not reflect anywhere else on the planet, nor does the crappy 1-star porn you subsist on (which means rape and brutality is fucking ILLEGAL and nobody wants it).
Personally I think you'd be into goth girls. But you gotta fuckin learn that women have consciousness and aren't property. Rape is not a property crime. It's basically the same thing as assault.