Diseased Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

[EnemyStand]

At this point I'll settle for anything that isn't
1) naive sheltered farm boy gets caught up in big villainous plot when he's saved from raiders by mysterious stranger.
--or--
2) tough street-urchin girl learns she has Super Special Kewl Powers and gets involved in political intrigue fuckery.
Seriously, it's like this shit is churned out by trained chimps. And the worst part is, my friends keep gifting me this shit because 10 years ago I was into GoT and Lord of the Rings. And I just don't have the heart to tell them it's all shit.

Yeah, might be my bad (or RPG aficionados, anyway). Look, we all loved aSoIaF and LOTR, it was fun to read even if the text went off on weird tangents. Problem is, when the normies started playing D&D thanks to Critical Role the show and movies was their frame of reference (which left a lot of stuff out and simplified the plot). Anything that wasn't in a published module was some blatant LOTR/aSoIaF rip off because normies had no other frame of reference. Furthermore, most normie GMs didn't get how to actually RP their NPCs in an engaging manner, so there was a lot of metagaming with PCs. Normie PCs mostly didn't know how to build an actual backstory, so a lot of it was ripped off from something else. It didn't help we were already having problems with a Munchkin invasion because as the rules simplified they got a lot easier to game. Then the troons showed up so they could pretend their fantasy was reality. This all came together into an unholy clusterfuck that spilled into fantasy writing, as every GM with a half-cocked story thought they could turn their bluebooks into shekels. And some fucking managed it, which just encouraged more and more normie GMs to put their self-insert Mary Sues safely away from their gaming table.

On the subject of witches/pagans, honestly before the rampant troonery they were usually pretty cool to RP with. A good RPer could make a CoDzilla somewhat engaging, and they were normally great at it.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

1. You're whining about anons right now. That's not how you ignore something.
2. Your hugbox is on tumblr, you wouldn't post them here.
3. You were probably expecting the guy to admit to some great ween plan because we are evil.
There is no reason not to believe you aren't sending them yourself, that or it's the Amegaotaku person.


You were here for barely a week. What do you know about "the nature of kiwifarms"? Who was patronizing to you anyway? I mean, I guess I was kind of rude in the beginning because I guessed that this was just a plan for asspats, which turned out to be correct.

 

[NoReturn]

At this point I'll settle for anything that isn't
1) naive sheltered farm boy gets caught up in big villainous plot when he's saved from raiders by mysterious stranger.
--or--
2) tough street-urchin girl learns she has Super Special Kewl Powers and gets involved in political intrigue fuckery.
Seriously, it's like this shit is churned out by trained chimps. And the worst part is, my friends keep gifting me this shit because 10 years ago I was into GoT and Lord of the Rings. And I just don't have the heart to tell them it's all shit.

God, Kek. I remember that.

Good times.

That and isekai, though that's not as common in the west... Yet.

 

[RazorBackBacon]

Yeah, might be my bad (or RPG aficionados, anyway). Look, we all loved aSoIaF and LOTR, it was fun to read even if the text went off on weird tangents. Problem is, when the normies started playing D&D thanks to Critical Role the show and movies was their frame of reference (which left a lot of stuff out and simplified the plot). Anything that wasn't in a published module was some blatant LOTR/aSoIaF rip off because normies had no other frame of reference. Furthermore, most normie GMs didn't get how to actually RP their NPCs in an engaging manner, so there was a lot of metagaming with PCs. Normie PCs mostly didn't know how to build an actual backstory, so a lot of it was ripped off from something else. It didn't help we were already having problems with a Munchkin invasion because as the rules simplified they got a lot easier to game. Then the troons showed up so they could pretend their fantasy was reality. This all came together into an unholy clusterfuck that spilled into fantasy writing, as every GM with a half-cocked story thought they could turn their bluebooks into shekels. And some fucking managed it, which just encouraged more and more normie GMs to put their self-insert Mary Sues safely away from their gaming table.

On the subject of witches/pagans, honestly before the rampant troonery they were usually pretty cool to RP with. A good RPer could make a CoDzilla somewhat engaging, and they were normally great at it.

Nah man, it's older than that. I remember trying to find a descent fantasy novel to read back in 2002 and I kept running into the same boring riffs on LOTR but without the writing ability or deep worldbuilding. Hell, Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson are both guilty of falling into the same old boring cliches I mentioned earlier, and those guys were the big names of Fantasy in the 00's.

That and isekai, though that's not as common in the west... Yet.

Isekai would be better if it wasn't all stupid power/harem fantasies for retarded teenagers. Hell, one of my favorite animes is an isekai.

 

[NoReturn]

Nah man, it's older than that. I remember trying to find a descent fantasy novel to read back in 2002 and I kept running into the same boring riffs on LOTR but without the writing ability or deep worldbuilding. Hell, Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson are both guilty of falling into the same old boring cliches I mentioned earlier, and those guys were the big names of Fantasy in the 00's.

Isekai would be better if it wasn't all stupid power/harem fantasies for retarded teenagers. Hell, one of my favorite animes is an isekai.

I'm going to write my own not-isekai. "I died and didn't get reincarnated in another world. Now I'm a dumbass ghost haunting my high school forever."

 

[WinchesterPremium]

I'm going to write my own not-isekai. "I died and didn't get reincarnated in another world. Now I'm a dumbass ghost haunting my high school forever."

I saw a hentai like that once.

Spoiler: Ace Aphrodite Autist

 

[EnemyStand]

I saw a hentai like that once.

Spoiler: Ace Aphrodite Autist

View attachment 1891487

I'm sorry, but you are the weakest link! Goodbye!

Aphrodite was fully based around the concept of Eros, or romantic love as we call it now. They had other goddesses for the other types of love, (predominantly Hestia, but as she's basically the Goddess of Housewives these empowered wahmmen likely don't like her) and her son, Cupid, was less a god in his own right and more of Aphrodite's messenger boy when the dumb mortals wouldn't just get with the program (or she was pissed for some reason). Therefore, by being aromantic you are literally committing blasphemy against the second most bitchy goddess in the pantheon, and that never ends well for mortals. As for passion itself, yeah, that's more or less accurate. Artists and sculptors paid tribute for this reason, as well. But I have to tell you, Aphrodite was also the most self-absorbed meangirl psychopath that ever set foot on Olympus. She don't love you. Hell, she cheated on Hephaestus with Ares all the damn time because volcano boy was your typical nerdboy who found his next big project more interesting...for some reason. So, on the whole you picked a bad goddess to worship, and I eagerly await you being turned into a frog or something once she gets enough prayer to do so.

Oh wait, that won't happen because my God has a bigger dick than your god! Hahaha!

 

[STN]

The internet was a mistake.

 

[NoReturn]

I'm sorry, but you are the weakest link! Goodbye!

Aphrodite was fully based around the concept of Eros, or romantic love as we call it now. They had other goddesses for the other types of love, (predominantly Hestia, but as she's basically the Goddess of Housewives these empowered wahmmen likely don't like her) and her son, Cupid, was less a god in his own right and more of Aphrodite's messenger boy when the dumb mortals wouldn't just get with the program (or she was pissed for some reason). Therefore, by being aromantic you are literally committing blasphemy against the second most bitchy goddess in the pantheon, and that never ends well for mortals. As for passion itself, yeah, that's more or less accurate. Artists and sculptors paid tribute for this reason, as well. But I have to tell you, Aphrodite was also the most self-absorbed meangirl psychopath that ever set foot on Olympus. She don't love you. Hell, she cheated on Hephaestus with Ares all the damn time because volcano boy was your typical nerdboy who found his next big project more interesting...for some reason. So, on the whole you picked a bad goddess to worship, and I eagerly await you being turned into a frog or something once she gets enough prayer to do so.

Oh wait, that won't happen because my God has a bigger dick than your god! Hahaha!

Hestia is one of the "eternal virgin" goddesses, so she's actually be way better for an "asexual" though this person is also bragging about being sexy so what the fuck do I know.

 

[EnemyStand]

Hestia is one of the "eternal virgin" goddesses, so she's actually be way better for an "asexual" though this person is also bragging about being sexy so what the fuck do I know.

Really, if you want to go for maximum man-hating lesbian/aro points Artemis is your girl. Nature lover, literally hated men, and never punished female followers if she could help. Hestia was a virginal, but she was also a fertility goddess. Hestia just didn't sleep around herself because she never found a man that she wanted to cook for.

 

[NoReturn]

Really, if you want to go for maximum man-hating lesbian/aro points Artemis is your girl. Nature lover, literally hated men, and never punished female followers if she could help. Hestia was a virginal, but she was also a fertility goddess. Hestia just didn't sleep around herself because she never found a man that she wanted to cook for.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Hestia is one of the "eternal virgin" goddesses, so she's actually be way better for an "asexual" though this person is also bragging about being sexy so what the fuck do I know.

Tumblr is full of people who collect identities they think are cool so I'm unsurprised it has asexuals who aren't asexual.

 

[RazorBackBacon]

Tumblr is full of people who collect identities they think are cool so I'm unsurprised it has asexuals who aren't asexual.

Are you kidding? That's like every single Tumblr asexual. It's not even that unusual to find an 'asexual' who constantly talks about how much sex they have.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

Angie, you really hurt my feelings. We were nice when you came to visit, and we didn't spam your pms with cheese pizza. I even gave you a picture I painted of one of your rodents to you as a peace offering. Then, you lied about how we were sending you mean anons so you could have some asspats and called us "miserable, bitter people that want to drown in hatred." How could you say that?! I'm not the one drowning, all the hot bitches are, in my cum.
Maybe instead of sperging endlessly about the evils of some New Zealand flightless birds and how people are "liddurly hunting me down with pitchforks guize!" You could, I don't know, get off of the internet if you're constantly having panic attacks, going to starve yourself because of a produce supplier maybe, not, oh I don't know. . . stop being an attention whore? Well, I guess you can take the girl out of tumblr, but you can't take the tumblr out of the girl.


I hope it's not one of those hideous hairy line sigils she's planning to get tattooed.



The Twisted Cottage
The Deep Dark Woods
United Kingdom

To Gwenyth Bogsnort,

Please stop sneaking your period blood into everyone's food, because no one wants to taste your nasty ass cunt fluid. That shit is NOT "chunky ketchup" as you have told us when we ran out of condiments to go with our mcnuggets last week. Do you think we're retarded?

Thanks.


hekateanwitchcraft is right when she says to not take her word for anything, because she is yet another advocate for playing with your menstrual blood:


I'm going to cast this spell on @NoReturn, she hasn't been answering my texts lately and I'm scared that her love for me is gone. Please, @NoReturn I'll do anything for your affection, even tattoo a magickal sigil on my dick!

 

[NoReturn]

View attachment 1893155View attachment 1893149
I'm going to cast this spell on @NoReturn, she hasn't been answering my texts lately and I'm scared that her love for me is gone. Please, @NoReturn I'll do anything for your affection, even tattoo a magickal sigil on my dick!

I haven't been answering your texts because I'm too busy fighting the curses of the tumblr witches with tattoos on their foreheads. This witch in particular is especially powerful:

Spoiler

 

[EyelessMC]

Spoiler

View attachment 1890472View attachment 1890473View attachment 1890474
1. You're whining about anons right now. That's not how you ignore something.
2. Your hugbox is on tumblr, you wouldn't post them here.
3. You were probably expecting the guy to admit to some great ween plan because we are evil.
There is no reason not to believe you aren't sending them yourself, that or it's the Amegaotaku person.

Angie, I genuinely feel betrayed. You know we have stringent forum rules and you saw how nice we treated you. When I saw you were gone I even made this video:

Remember all the good times of us talking about Wales and druidry? Remember when we made fun of psycho witches collecting graveyard bones and how retarded wiccans were? We're like porcupines, Angie. We just want to hug you, but you need thicker skin because we're just full of pricks.

But now you're fingering us as folk who not only broke the rules but harassed you with "sexual threats"? I made you a video Angie. Fuzzybro made your ham-ham a painting. How could you?

Well, I guess you can take the girl out of tumblr, but you can't take the tumblr out of the girl.

I haven't been answering your texts because I'm too busy fighting the curses of the tumblr witches with tattoos on their foreheads. This witch in particular is especially powerful:

Spoiler

View attachment 1893385

She must be so strong because of her apparent adherence to Buddhism.

At this point I'll settle for anything that isn't [...] And I just don't have the heart to tell them it's all shit.

Well at least you have friends who read. You've got a great point, too, but it also sounds like your friends are just picking up stuff they find great in the Young Adult fiction section. Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if that's just the high fantasy genre in a nutshell now. The cross section between "marketability" and "familiarity" breeds unoriginality. It's part of why the publishing industry sucks ass.
Here's free Dune novels (the first is all you need anyway): https://archive.org/details/DuneSeriesPDF/Dune 1 - Dune/page/n3/mode/2up
That said, I felt an almost instinctive nausea from you listing GoT and LotR in the same sentence.

Good times.

I hate you so much...

 

[RazorBackBacon]

Spoiler

View attachment 1892797

Angie, you really hurt my feelings. We were nice when you came to visit, and we didn't spam your pms with cheese pizza. I even gave you a picture I painted of one of your rodents to you as a peace offering. Then, you lied about how we were sending you mean anons so you could have some asspats and called us "miserable, bitter people that want to drown in hatred." How could you say that?! I'm not the one drowning, all the hot bitches are, in my cum.
Maybe instead of sperging endlessly about the evils of some New Zealand flightless birds and how people are "liddurly hunting me down with pitchforks guize!" You could, I don't know, get off of the internet if you're constantly having panic attacks, going to starve yourself because of a produce supplier maybe, not, oh I don't know. . . stop being an attention whore? Well, I guess you can take the girl out of tumblr, but you can't take the tumblr out of the girl.

View attachment 1892854
I hope it's not one of those hideous hairy line sigils she's planning to get tattooed.

View attachment 1892857View attachment 1892858

The Twisted Cottage
The Deep Dark Woods
United Kingdom

To Gwenyth Bogsnort,

Please stop sneaking your period blood into everyone's food, because no one wants to taste your nasty ass cunt fluid. That shit is NOT "chunky ketchup" as you have told us when we ran out of condiments to go with our mcnuggets last week. Do you think we're retarded?

Thanks.

View attachment 1893151View attachment 1893150
hekateanwitchcraft is right when she says to not take her word for anything, because she is yet another advocate for playing with your menstrual blood:

View attachment 1893155View attachment 1893149
I'm going to cast this spell on @NoReturn, she hasn't been answering my texts lately and I'm scared that her love for me is gone. Please, @NoReturn I'll do anything for your affection, even tattoo a magickal sigil on my dick!

If this is how witches back in the day used to act, I completely understand burning them at the stake now holy shit.

Well at least you have friends who read. You've got a great point, too, but it also sounds like your friends are just picking up stuff they find great in the Young Adult fiction section. Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if that's just the high fantasy genre in a nutshell now. The cross section between "marketability" and "familiarity" breeds unoriginality. It's part of why the publishing industry sucks ass.
Here's free Dune novels (the first is all you need anyway): https://archive.org/details/DuneSeriesPDF/Dune 1 - Dune/page/n3/mode/2up
That said, I felt an almost instinctive nausea from you listing GoT and LotR in the same sentence.

I appreciate the thought, really I do, but I've already read them all.
And would it help or damage my case if I revealed I was also into Sword of Truth?

 

[Nazz]

Tumblr is full of people who collect identities they think are cool so I'm unsurprised it has asexuals who aren't asexual.

Imagine being told to your face that your partner doesnt find you attractive and was just using you to cum and not thinking that was the most degenerate shit you'd ever heard
Congratulations, youve mind-melded with the sexual asexual

Trickster gods are specifically about the metaphorical power of inversion. Inversions of authority and inversions of societal norms both have substantial social and religious implications, because they change the status quo and cause strife to occur (usually).

Women turning a highly culturally relevant tale of transgression and boundary-breaking, which was used to instruct people about the divine and their own society, into mpreg fanfiction is like a tincture of blackpill essence. One drop is enough to turn the most proud Religion Ph.D into a broken alcoholic.

People worshipping Loki who clearly just think he's the indie band version of Satan make me want to commit die

 

[PuffyGroundCloud]

People worshipping Loki who clearly just think he's the indie band version of Satan make me want to commit die

Won't be surprised that people worshiping Loki because of Tom Hiddleston

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

View attachment 1894562
Imagine being told to your face that your partner doesnt find you attractive and was just using you to cum and not thinking that was the most degenerate shit you'd ever heard
Congratulations, youve mind-melded with the sexual asexual

My head hurts.

People worshipping Loki who clearly just think he's the indie band version of Satan make me want to commit die

On that note, people who worship Satan also make me want to bring back the Inquisition.

Satan is not going to reward you for doing evil. Please read the Bible and understand Sacred Tradition before you try and use it for your own ends.