Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[CrippleThreat]

Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me if blob didn't wipe his ass at all.

What's his strategy for getting off of the bowl? I don't even have to look at him to know he has no leg muscles.

 

[Mr Snek]

What's his strategy for getting off of the bowl? I don't even have to look at him to know he has no leg muscles.

Most fat people I know have one or two bars beside the toilet to pull themselves up.

 

[LordofCringe7206]

Probably does due to being too fat to wipe properly at this point.

I've known many fat people who will just hop into the shower to wash themselves off after taking a shit. They'll pretty much structure their entire bathing schedule around whenever they have to shit.

 

[ColorfulCassowary]

Oh no, he sucks complete shit at games in general, and it took him years to beat this game designed for children. He just is a big sped fanboy of it because of the TV show more than anything from what I can tell. He probably got into gaming because of commercials about his favorite TV show guy being in games.

To be fair, those tank levels are the worst. 3 year long auto scrollers with no checkpoints? Really? That's what you call good game design?

The fact he couldn't beat Super Mario World is incredibly silly tho. That game is far easier, with the most broken power up in any Mario game, the cape.

He might've also got into it from the cartoon series.

 

[Mimicry]

...the sad thing is I have a good idea what happened here, because I've seen it happen to other people: he was probably flushing baby wipes (because fatasses don't do well with normal TP) and they clogged the pipe, causing a back-up.

I'm sure Bob's basement apartment is quite the bouquet after everything brought on by poor maintenance of it and him.

To be fair most people only have to worry about shit coming out their ass, but Bob has to worry about shit coming out of his mouth too, he must get through a lot of baby wipes...

 

[The Littlest Shitlord]

OMG I'm an unwieldy sperg, but I bet you I could do a much better job of making a book about SMB3 than Bob. Like, WAY better. Like "You'll want to save those P wings for REALLY annoying levels, like those tanks in the water in the part where the hand grabs you in on the way to Bowser in the last world" or "Kuriboh's shoe/Goomba's Shoe is the best accessory ever, amirite?" And I could probably also do it with minimal powerlevelling.

But that would be boring though. The only reason that anyone even remembers that Brick by Brick even exists is because of the extensive, embarrassing, and inappropriate powerleveling. I bet half the thread has completely forgotten about his other shitty books that are just compilations of his boring old columns. I could finish and print my homebrew TTRPG and probably sell more than any one of those. Hell, probably more than all of them put together. Being a better author than Bob is only half a step above being a better author than CWC.

You are right. I remember the Amazing Atheist mentioning that in a vlog. He's morbidly obese, and said that his baby wipes caused a backup, and the landlord had to hire a plumber. He got charged money for it too. Wish I could go back and find the video.

He deserves to get charged money for it. Don't those things say right on the container not to flush them down a toilet?

 

[Positron]

I've mentioned the ways Luke takes after Bobby (e.g. they are both impotent losers who imagine themselves as Machiavellian princes). Here are two more:
1. Luke claims he cares for the environment but refuses to dial back his polluting, high-tech life.
2. Luke thinks his perfect life was somehow "robbed" of him by society (admittedly this is regular troonthink).

I have no idea what is "offworld life", or how abolishing borders and deserting your parents ("fewer non-chosen connections") will help the environment. Bobby is doing exactly the same thing he accuses other of: sticking up an eco-friendly label to his own ideology -- and he does it far less convincingly, because he is a moron.

To both of them, Liberalism means "giant glowing cities and spaceships"


And to Bobby at least, the whole direction a country is heading can be changed simply by plug-n-playing a new synod of elites -- this answers the question on everyone's mind: why does Bobby equates Hillary Rodham's presidency with moonwheat?


+ + + +
Brunch libs:



Ahem. Obama. Middle East.

Now even you, the "center-right normie", are fascists!


Let's DEFEAT IT! Let's drone-strike a republican gathering!


Zzzzzzz.


Totally not a bigot:


Fedora:

What about cults that worshipped fire, agriculture, and math?

+ + + +
Auteur Theory and Film Twitter:


Bill Maher:



Who?


Who?

+ + + +
WandaVision:








+ + + +
Bobby gratuitously inserts his fat ass into some Peter Coffin drama -- and ends up lamenting how he is obsolete in Youtube terms:


Coffin disrespects AOC by demanding her to tell the truth:


Naked ass in video game is problematic, unless of course it is tranny ass in TLOU2


Fake Tits got dogpiled over something something Uyghurs. Bobby simps:

 

[Godzilla@1989]

I honestly would love to see Luke pull a Lindsay Ellis on Bob because it’s getting creepy he’s simping on a troon.

 

[DZoomer]

What about cults that worshipped fire, agriculture, and math?

One thing I don't get about Bob is: how can he genuinely think he's one of the "thinkers" and not a "believer"? The man is a movie critic. He isn't a scientist or an engineer helping mankind evolve scientifically. Nor is he a writer or philosopher making people think about life. He sits on his fat ass all day, locked in his basement, and talks about movies.

Does he think that what he does is in any way an intellectual work that makes his viewers better people? Does he see himself as a Dostoievski of movie reviews or some shit like that? He isn't even successful as a movie critic for fuck's sake.

 

[Caustic Gelatin]

...the sad thing is I have a good idea what happened here, because I've seen it happen to other people: he was probably flushing baby wipes (because fatasses don't do well with normal TP) and they clogged the pipe, causing a back-up.

I'm sure Bob's basement apartment is quite the bouquet after everything brought on by poor maintenance of it and him.

Counter theory: Bob took a normal shower for once and the unholy combination of grease, fast food crumbs, and wrappers that happened to get caught in his folds clogged the drains.

 

[Pokemonquistador2]

One thing I don't get about Bob is: how can he genuinely think he's one of the "thinkers" and not a "believer"? The man is a movie critic. He isn't a scientist or an engineer helping mankind evolve scientifically. Nor is he a writer or philosopher making people think about life. He sits on his fat ass all day, locked in his basement, and talks about movies.

Does he think that what he does is in any way an intellectual work that makes his viewers better people? Does he see himself as a Dostoievski of movie reviews or some shit like that? He isn't even successful as a movie critic for fuck's sake.

He spergs autistically on the internet and enough people pay him so he can afford to eat Mountain Dew chicken in a flooded basement apartment. He's also a Narcissist, and part of being a Narcissist is embracing a false version of the self that's superior to other people and entitled to whatever it wants. Bob must believe that he's a champion of social justice living an enlightened existence and beloved by big-tittied Asian women because to know the truth would destroy him.

 

[instythot]

You are right. I remember the Amazing Atheist mentioning that in a vlog. He's morbidly obese, and said that his baby wipes caused a backup, and the landlord had to hire a plumber. He got charged money for it too. Wish I could go back and find the video.

Lol. These fatasses are bankrupting themselves with fast food deliveries and then paying at least double to wipe up after it

Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me if blob didn't wipe his ass at all.

I could see Bob letting his bowels schedule his bathing. It's all in the same room after all

Most fat people I know have one or two bars beside the toilet to pull themselves up.

You seem to know far people who own rather than rent. Bob probably has some sort of cane or walker that he brings to the commode

 

[Arthur Morgan]

Does he think that what he does is in any way an intellectual work that makes his viewers better people? Does he see himself as a Dostoievski of movie reviews or some shit like that? He isn't even successful as a movie critic for fuck's sake.

Yes, yes, and in his own mind, yes he is.

 

[Archeopthryx]

If he's so smart and superior he would've bought a bidet. Even the one that is just a hose you stick beside the water closet. Unless he's so fat that he couldn't reach his own ass without a stick.

 

[Meriasek]

He might deserve it, but i honestly don't want anything bad to happen to him. Call it overexposure or whatever, but it's happening the same with me that happened with DSP: even if they are shit people that deserve everything bad that happens in their lives because they bring it on themselves for being dumbasses, i still don't want anything bad to happen to them. And i mean bad in the sense "They lose everything they have" or "They are at risk of dying". I guess that they grew fond on me or that they provide so much hilarity and amusement that i don't want them gone for good, even if that would be for the best. I know i should say "As long as there is life, there is hope", but all of us know that Bob is past hope and redemption unless he does some serious soul searching and faces the worst in himself, which will probably cause him to break down for quite a while.

But so far i would say that there are 2 things that would make Bob have a weapons grade meltdown: Either get rejected and denounced by one of his sacreed cows (or angels) much in the same way Lindsay did, but this time Lindsay joins in to pour salt on the wound; or he gets Coronita and he goes on a savage tirade about how the Mayo Ghouls made that happen and that every working class person in America made an attempt on his life for that.

Yeah, I wouldn't want him to get beaten up or something, but if shit happened entirely due to his own fault? Can't say it wouldn't result in increased airflow out of my nose.

 

[Carlos Thin]

OMG I'm an unwieldy sperg, but I bet you I could do a much better job of making a book about SMB3 than Bob. Like, WAY better. Like "You'll want to save those P wings for REALLY annoying levels, like those tanks in the water in the part where the hand grabs you in on the way to Bowser in the last world" or "Kuriboh's shoe/Goomba's Shoe is the best accessory ever, amirite?" And I could probably also do it with minimal powerlevelling.

Someone already did, and on youtube no less

 

[R.E.O. Spedwagon]

Fedora:

I'll never get over how these soy golems manage to completely overlook all the benefits religions offered to society throughout history, including fundamental stuff like offering social cohesion, happiness (if only by granting people a purpose in life), legal frameworks, and social welfare.
Even if you believe that religion should be a relic of the past and has no purpose in a modern society, it takes a special kind of stupid to believe that religion has only ever made the world a worse place and that many of the positive aspects of our current society don't have their roots in the same religious traditions they loathe so much.

I would like to have seen Bob be put in charge of an early society, though, as he inevitably establishes a (pseudo)religion based solely on hedonism and consuming, and be surprised as his fledgling tribe is lapped by the other tribes that value hard work, loyalty, and restraint.

 

[FunPosting101]

All this talk about Blobbo's personal hygiene and bathing habits is taking my mind to places I really don't want it to go. Have there been any new twitter posts from the lardass full of impotent rage about how the fraud in chief hasn't ushered in the superior moon future yet? Or would that be too introspective for the blobman? How about more of him wishing death and suffering on everyone outside of urban/suburban areas?

 

[Positron]

Chris clarifies our misunderstanding:

 

[XtrmGamr719]

I'll never get over how these soy golems manage to completely overlook all the benefits religions offered to society throughout history, including fundamental stuff like offering social cohesion, happiness (if only by granting people a purpose in life), legal frameworks, and social welfare.
Even if you believe that religion should be a relic of the past and has no purpose in a modern society, it takes a special kind of stupid to believe that religion has only ever made the world a worse place and that many of the positive aspects of our current society don't have their roots in the same religious traditions they loathe so much.

I would like to have seen Bob be put in charge of an early society, though, as he inevitably establishes a (pseudo)religion based solely on hedonism and consuming, and be surprised as his fledgling tribe is lapped by the other tribes that value hard work, loyalty, and restraint.

I mean I’m pretty sure that public school history is just going to say “religion of all kinds, except for Judaism, has turned the world to shit and has made us into backwards somehow sentient beings.” So unless you’re going to a school that shows actual benefits of religion in the past and the shittiness of religion, fedoras and trillbys will always be sold.