"people are freaking out that I forgot my glasses.. big deal! big fucking deal!!"
After getting a $101 dollar tip, and his life is now miraculously saved again..
Edit: I fully expect him to clear $250+ tomorrow as well. The real test will be Friday. Lets see if Jaxx faggot comes in with the stream saving tip again for street fighter, but that still leaves Fridays first stream. I can already see it coming, he's gonna use this mini 6 vest streak to start putting the pressure on come Friday or Saturday. It's gonna be a return of "we cant let the streak end guys, we have to beat the Detractors. This vest is a symbol for the underdog" etc etc. There's no shame in this man's "game"
He clocked out sooo fast. You could hear him speed through his words so he could shut off the stream and bounce. His gatcha addictions are showing physically.
Regarding the Rafters=/=Phil dilemma, I think it's interesting to not just take into account why Phil is Rafters, but the circumstances that would have to be in play, all at once, for Phil NOT to be Rafters:
For Rafters to not be Phil, we have two possible routes, plus Phil's own "It's a fan" theory. In either route, we would have to hit ALL of the points at once. The odds of this are astronomically slim. This is a really in depth reverse analysis, so to speak. A lot of devil's advocacy going on to prove a point at the end, so feel free to skip it.
The Liquid Phil theory: An incredibly wealthy troll wants to incriminate Phil, started playing the game a long time ago and whaling, in the vague hope that some day, Phil would be burned by it.
-Liquid Phil's entire life and income revolves around fucking with Phil. Or he's so incredibly wealthy that the investment is peanuts to him. Wealthy people have better shit to do than fucking with strokefaced streamers, I would think.
-Liquid Phil synchs up his schedule perfectly with Phil's. Sometimes even pops into Champions at exactly the same time Phil's caught, on camera, fiddling on his phone. Doesn't miss a single second of Phil's streams to be able to achieve this, which means around six/seven hours six days a week. It's basically this dude's job to take Phil down. But he still has the money to whale, somehow.
-He has learned to type exactly like Phil does to the point a text analyzing AI thought it was being fucked with. Liquid Phil's not just wealthy, he's also a hardcore method actor so incredible he'd get all the acting oscars every year without contest.
-Liquid Phil has foresight to make Nostradamus look like a fucking chump. Was able to start playing years back, before he was ever found. Kept a low profile, in spite of wanting to hurt Phil. Some would call this nonsensical; This guy calls it galaxy-brain play. The escort story came forward and got dismantled: This guy knew, before even the escort story happened, that to make it believable he would have to act like an ashamed gacha fiend, I.E keep it hidden from everyone. Undercover abilities that would make top notch CIA operatives consider honorable sudoku, they just got THAT beat the fuck out.
-Liquid Phil keeps it hush-hush and denies being Phil, but provides no proof, in an active effort to hurt him more. He is just that dedicated to his craft. Again, hardcore method actor. This is how a man who was begging for dimes on the internet to EAT would act, because the revelation that he was blowing his wads on something not just unnecessary but frankly fucking stupid wouldn't go over well. Coincidentally, the same thing Phil would resort to in this type of situation. Radio silence, nunya biznus, etcetera. When you give me money, that's MY money. It all goes to groceries and bills though. Liquid Phil knows this, and acts accordingly. After all, his plan was to hurt Phil from the start and revealing that he isn't Phil would just end things prematurely. This is the only way the whole thing makes a lick of sense, not Phil's "Just a fan chasing the Gout Clout™" theory.
-Liquid Phil has Phil's phone number, that he snagged immediately after Phil changed it. Troll had the time and resources, while watching Phil six hours a day and learning to type exactly like him, to chase a specific phone number, and managed to get it. Troll immediately went to deepfake his voicemail message by taking in the cleanest, most high quality clip of Phil stating his name calmly in a way he has never done on stream. Seriously, some youtuber called it on video once and it was almost like Phil recorded it himself. Truly commendable. To me, this was the nail in the coffin. To Phil, this is just circumstancial evidence. Okay.
All in all, Liquid Phil is bar none the most impressive gay op to ever exist in the internet. Guy will probably get his own title, King of Autism. Hell, I'll mail him a little Burger King crowned painted green with a kiwi on top.
Phil's own proposed theory, his particular way of handwaving this whole thing away. Let's delve deep and see if we can prove if it's true. Just like the Liquid Phil theory, it would require a truly astounding amount of sheer statistic motherfuckery to make this even remotely plausible, but let's go for it:
Darryl Somersault Penbus, hard working man, comes home after a long day at the horse milking factory. It's hard work, but it pays well. Things have been a little rough with the thrice damned coof and all that, but horse breeders still pay top dahller for some horse juice. Gambling's nothing but on the up and up, and that's how the horse care industry stays afloat. Darryl's not the guy who jacks off the horse, he's some middle management type. It pays good. Sunken eyes, bad posture, balding. Darryl's a little ashamed of his looks. He's always loved wrestling and chooses to blow most of his disposable income on a mobile game. The amount of hours he spends on it suggests it's his only hobby. Darryl's a cool, non judgemental guy and outside of his gacha addiction there isn't much wrong with him.
His handle, TheyCallMeDSP comes from his name being a little embarassing. He chose it many years ago, but he just doesn't really have that much social media presence. No Tinder profile, no Facebook, he's always kept to himself. No Twitter and no Youtube, nothing. Darryl recently changed his phone number and happened to get Phil's old one. However, recently he's been thrown into the autism vortex as a victim, and he's just really scared and wants to whale in peace.
-The first hurdle came when the guild leaders asked Darryl for confirmation he's not Phil. Darryl just doesn't have a Facebook. This has been a little to his detriment, since a lot of the top whale factions communicate over it. So he had no facebook to show. Darryl also has a really good reason to not give voice confirmation that he isn't Phil. Cleft palate, speaks like a stereotypical cartoon gay from the 90's, something. Point is, he's very ashamed of this. Ashamed enough to not provide a little clip.
-Darryl can also not provide picture confirmation that he isn't Phil. A simple porn page like verification would suffice, a picture of him holding up a bit of paper saying "Not DSP, sorry guys!" with his face on it. Darryl however either looks as bad as he sounds, is terribly ashamed of his gacha addiction, or wants to avoid getting doxed by Sweet Deranged Nigel. Ultimately, Darryl's just scared out of his skull to come forth. I think if Darryl did come forth, this would just go away and he could go back to whaling for top factions again. After all, a gacha addict with no internet presence may be pathetic in it's own way, but it's not fun to follow or comment upon. Just a little sad. Bad lahlcau thread, next. This all in spite of you know, being basically a hermit, and having nothing to lose, as the next point will show.
-Darryl somehow got Phil's old voicemail message when he got the number. Perhaps feeling the warmth of a kindred spirit, Darryl chose to keep it instead of changing it. It doesn't matter, after all. Darryl's pretty much an island. He doesn't even talk to anyone, and this is his personal phone. That little message of Phil calmly starting his name, "Phil Burnell~" makes his back tingle, for some reason. Maybe it's a little wrong to keep it, but... Such a soothing, nasal voice. How could Darryl get rid of that? Any other person with friends, or someone who calls you ocasionally, hell, job opportunities, telemarketers, your mom... Would probably do better to just have a generic or their own voicemail. Darryl doesn't care, though. "Phil Burnell? I thought I was calling Darryl Somersault Penbus, horse spooge marketer! Damn, I must have got the wrong number." people would say. Not for Darryl. He has a different phone line for his day jahb, and no one wants anything to do with him personally. He prefers it this way. He's a gacha monk. Maybe this phone number is his gacha phone.
-Darryl's sympathetic towards Phil's plight, and so is Phil towards Darryl's. Darryl defines Phil as "Some streamer." Not "The Guy". Darryl clearly isn't in the gaming scene. Phil doesn't want poor Darryl trolled or banned, either. He's just a guy trying to whale his little heart out. He doesn't deserve to be harassed or doxxed. On his end Darryl's not judgemental and he doesn't think Phil's incident is his most remarkable achievement or anything. Maybe Darryl can relate to pulling his pud in inappropriate places. Maybe he's just used to all the jerking off going on at his workplace and doesn't see it as something inappropriate to do in public. After all he sees around 40 horses getting the 5 star bronze hand treatment every morning on his way to his little desk.
-Darryl types just like Phil. This is pure coincidence. Darryl uses the same terms and turns of phrase Phil does. Darryl probably also speaks like a valley girl. Maybe Darryl T and Y poses. Who knows.
-Darryl had acess to Phil's twitter pic that was in an exclusive resolution. It came with the, uh, phone number. Somehow. Maybe he just bought the whole functional phone from Phil, service provider and all. I mean, we've seen Phil's phone in his hand. It's still the same phone he's had for a while, and his phone number checks out, but Darryl somehow had access to it, the picture, and the voicemail? Okay? Sound good? Oh-kay!
All in all, Darryl's had a run of bad luck that would make the Pariah Dog from Fallout 2 look tame in comparison, and he's just caught in the crossfire and a poor victim. Maybe if one of the big names, like Sweet Deranged Nigel guarantees his safety if he comes forward, he would feel encouraged enough to do so. Then Nigel would likely dox him, and post that image of Trump shrugging. But we wouldn't get any content out of him. Hell, maybe he IS undoxable. He seems to have no internet presence at all. At this point, guy probably just wants and to be honest, deserves a break.
Little Jonas is a rare creature. An unironic Phil fan. But he's not one of the Derichs. He's not in a wheelchair. He's in a well-paying job. He doesn't whale out for Phil, choosing instead to spend on shit he wants, namely gacha cards. Found Phil a few years back through their shared love of oiled men wrasslin' and stayed a fan into his twenties. In spite of being employed, as evidenced by his gacha funds, he's got the time to never miss a Phil stream.
As a little aside, I gotta hand it to Phil, I'm playing this out in my head and it has a SHITLOAD of potential for making Phil into a great guy. Phil can say he knew who Rafters was all along and willingly took the heat for him. Phil can explain that their schedules lined up because Jonas was just such a good Derich, he was always on stream when Phil was. Phil didn't give in and rat him out, and in turn Jonas stayed true to his Pigroach master. What an inspiring story. Doesn't hold up, but it's beautiful. In a young twink meets aging beat down alcoholic homo, inspirational love story ensues way.
-Little Jonas is always at DSP's chat, but never draws attention to himself, and of course Champions and Gacha are verboten. In spite of this being one of Jonas' prime pastimes, he can't discuss it. You would think that this would lead Jonas to more gacha whale friendly khammunities, like Guersan's, but he loves Phil, so he stays with Phil. He's just another Derich, he's always contributing positively and being well behaved.
-Little Jonas had access to Phil's exclusive picture from Twitter. This makes sense! He's a diehard fan. Of course he would grab pictures of Phil to use as an avatar later on! Derich also uses pictures of other people. This is not in any way creepy or weird. It's normal DSP fan stuff. Alternatively, Phil's sending his headshot to his inner circle so they have... Jerkoff material, or something? -Shudder-
-Little Jonas has Phil's phone number. Of course, being a fan, he would want that phone number. Maybe Phil even graciously gave it to him. You know, Phil, the guy who is NOT your friend, but appreciates your khantributions. The guy who does NOT want to talk to you outside stream hours, hang out, play some fun vidya. The guy who famously doesn't do giveaways or anything that his fans ask for. Been putting Divinity on hold for seven months now. The guy who literally promises you he will dress like an autismo if you give him your tardbuxx, then puts it off and finally decides he's not dressing like an autismo because you took too long to give him your tardbuxx. That's the type of guy who will definitely help out his fans when they need something from him, even if it's something pretty big like getting his old cellphone number. Being a fan, he kept the voicemail message.
-Little Jonas talks just like Phil does because in Jonas' head, Phil is the epitome of cool. Why a 20-something with a well paid job goes around imitating a shitty streamer is a mistery for the ages, but you know, DSP fan. I don't know about you, but I keep my detractor memes to detractor circles. The ocasional I was blahcking with gamer friends is fine, but I wouldn't bust out a KAHMAN DOOOOOD at my job.
-This is where the hurdles come: When Little Jonas got found out whaling, he decided the best course of action would be to just play dumb, like Phil would. No confirmation, in spite of him arguably doing it for the clout. However, he would have gotten MORE clout, and far more attention, with a "Sorry guys, I didn't mean to lead you on" post, or a "HA GOTTEM" post. 15 minutes of fame, then they would pass, etcetera. Keeping this charade going for this long would be fucking autistic as shit, yes DSP fan and all, but come on. If he wanted Gout Clout™, Jonas wouldn't have locked himself out of getting any sort of clout by having to forever pretend he's not DSP. He's plutonium now. There have been consequences. His faction mates get doxed. Stepping forward as Jonas would only bring positive things.
-Jonas is a fan but chose to define DSP as "Some streamer" and had a picture of him in his Discord. Maybe Jonas chose to feign ignorance, but it doesn't really hold up. Why would you deny knowing who DSP is if you're a fan so rabid you perfectly mimic his typing style? To avoid the double shame of being both a gacha fiend and a DSP fan? And if you wanna avoid the stigma, why would you use DSP pictures and DSPisms?
In the end, maybe Phil can even claim he helped Jonas handle his gacha fiend problem, and that's why Jonas did what he did. Not fessing up to not being DSP, that sort of thing. Really weird of DSP to help somebody he doesn't wanna fly to his khando for cooking and cleaning, but hey, weirder shit has happened, right? Clownworld and all.
And after all that theorizing, all that sleuthing and devil's advocacy...
Phil, you scamming dipshit. This is what you're trying to sell to us. This that I just typed is the amount of absolute horseshit that must necessarily have happened for you to have a chance of not being Rafters. The phone number. The picture. The perfectly alligned schedules and typing style. All that holds up. None of these theories have a leg to stand on.
YOU are the crazy conspiracy theorist, not us. You being Rafters basically amounts to "Sounds like a duck, walks like a duck!" None of the posts stating why you ARE Rafters have been even half as long as this fucking triple-spoilered behemoth of an autism a-bomb. Of course, in spite of being a career conman, there's no way you could come up with half this shit even if you brainstormed all night.
Unrelated, but if Phil wasn't such a prude nowadays, wouldn't he enjoy catfights in Yakuza 0? Maybe it has too much gameplay for him.
TL;DR: Phil's Rafters, Rafters is Phil, it sounds and walks like a duck. Phil trying to call us conspiracy theorists while he himself is pulling shitty conspiracy theories out of his ass is par for the course for him. Keep brainwashing your cashslaves, Phil. No one with half a neuron believes your lying ass. Fuck, it seems like most of your very own North Korean chat is dedicated to memeing on your ass 24/7 now. You're losing your grip, buddy. Beg harder, only more sweet e-beefcake can silence the voices.
EDIT: The way he's just gaslighting MoraMoria is making me slightly MOTI. That was a guy who supported you for years, dude. If you can't be straight with him, at least don't be a massive piece of shit and tell him he needs help. If the best defense you got is "I'm not lying, you're actually crazy" you probably should just shut up. It's a pretty fucked up look.
This was gold. If it walks like a pig and snorts like a pig, it's a fucking pig. He loves to call all of us (and other 'tractor hotspots) insane conspiracy theorists that ignore facts etc and sure we're all autistic as fuck but one thing that does not survive on Kiwi Farms are flimsy theories. If there's a theory and new evidence is discovered that completely contradicts said theory, the theory is adjusted or even completely scrapped. He loves to bring up the Escort Theory but neglects to point out that it was also debunked here.
Of course DSP has one response that he will always fall back on:
Anything else would be an admission to his cult of retards on an an endless cash milking cycle that he has been scamming the absolute fuck outta them solely because he's addicted to a pathetic mobile gambling game for fags who never grew out of sweaty steroid gymnastics. All his other grifts pale in comparison to this ongoing money sink addiction and he knows it.
DSP has always had this weird thing about rushing through games as soon as possible while still wanting to 100% them.
I would say it's for the sense of accomplishment, but I don't think that's it because he never seems happy when he accomplishes anything; he just seems upset that it took so long or was too hard.
DSP has always had this weird thing about rushing through games as soon as possible while still wanting to 100% them.
I would say it's for the sense of accomplishment, but I don't think that's it because he never seems happy when he accomplishes anything; he just seems upset that it took so long or was too hard.
ah yes, the "non ya bee wax" also phil: MY LIFE IS FALLING APART, THIS IS HAPPENING. THAT IS HAPPENING. BLAH BLAH BLAH! but nope, when it comes to present, notta. and he wonders why he gets shit on. CAUSE YOURE A LIAR PHIL, AS LONG AS YOURE NOT RETARDED ANYONE CAN SEE IT PLAIN AS DAY
Apparently, Phil goes through each post on Twitter and blocks anyone who likes a post criticizing him. Pretty obvious it really gets to him that people agree with the "Deetractors". Then again this is Phil so I shouldn't be surprised his only defense is when he is using the block button.
Apparently, Phil goes through each post on Twitter and blocks anyone who likes a post criticizing him. Pretty obvious it really gets to him that people agree with the "Deetractors". Then again this is Phil so I shouldn't be surprised his only defense is when he is using the block button.
Is that really a surprise, though? This is the same guy who ran away crying from Justin Wong and other FGC members when he ran his mouth and when confronted about it, and couldn't do a damn thing because he's such a spineless coward.
Is that really a surprise, though? This is the same guy who ran away crying from Justin Wong and other FGC members when he ran his mouth and when confronted about it, couldn't do a damn thing because he's such a spineless coward.
Internet hardman Phil is always my favourite brand of Phil. The fact he's such a complete bitch in real life, then plays the big man from behind the safety of his block button never fails to make me laugh.
Internet hardman Phil is always my favourite brand of Phil. The fact he's such a complete bitch in real life, then plays the big man from behind the safety of his block button never fails to make me laugh.
Apparently, Phil goes through each post on Twitter and blocks anyone who likes a post criticizing him. Pretty obvious it really gets to him that people agree with the "Deetractors". Then again this is Phil so I shouldn't be surprised his only defense is when he is using the block button.
"There was nothing I could do" He's such a blatant liar. He looks like a fucking addict trying to explain this lie and why he cant do it. Relevant timestamp is 1:16:12 - 1:16:39
Edit: Can anyone tell me how I get it to start at the timestamp when I copy and paste the URL?
some tweet he didnt like.