Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Fatal Walter]

Remember when Goldaor tried to explain to Lucas that Chris Hansen doesn't know who he is? After seeing that fail several times I don't know why people even try anymore.

 

[Coach McGuirk]

And the idiot STILL thinks ACAB is a group

I mean this is the guy who views Gen Z (anyone born between 1997 and 2012/15) as one singular group with one singular political and social alignment. He really seems to break everything down into categories, with no back up plan when his stereotype visions don't play out.

 

[IceQueen]

HE IS SO STUPID. Like we have all said a million times — ACAB IS NOT AN “ORGANIZATION” AND IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH CLASS (except how class intersects with race).

Also “these aren’t gender roles they’re adult in relationship roles” hey what do you know, my fiancé and I both do all of those things. We both also have full time jobs and contribute to bills. Cooking his disgusting slop, rubbing someone’s feet with his hands that have no feeling in them, and folding clothes/vacuuming once a year ain’t gonna cut it for equally contributing to a relationship.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

It's easier to understand Lucas' political views when you read them as Leftist Buzzword Salad meant to impress zoomer baes and nothing else.

 

[Da Dude123]

He could be your "generation x dad"...

 

[AbraCadaver]

It's easier to understand Lucas' political views when you read them as Leftist Buzzword Salad meant to impress zoomer baes and nothing else.

Lucas strikes me as a man in a foreign country who does not understand the language, but picks up certain phrases and repeats them for certain responses. However, he is incapable of fully learning the language for some reason. He knows “yumma dawarrr” at a restaurant will make the waiter bring him water. He knows “eekalacka” makes people move out of his way. He repeats these things after hearing other people say them, though he has no idea what they mean.

He knows the words “ACAB” “socialist” and others are vaguely associated with a younger group and he repeats them to try and be liked by said group.

He’s a man who will never understand WHY or HOW the language of socializing works, or ever be able to truly speak it, so he memorizes bits and pieces and repeats them without understanding their meaning, hoping to make some sort of connection or incite recognition in fellow humans.

Or he’s like a big ugly emu that wants to mate with tiny doves so he imitates small bits of the tiny dove mating call over and over but he does it badly and all the tiny doves can see he’s a big fucking ugly emu and none of them want that shit, they want to mate with other doves because they’re not idiots.

Either way.

 

[Wernology]

Remember when Goldaor tried to explain to Lucas that Chris Hansen doesn't know who he is? After seeing that fail several times I don't know why people even try anymore.

That bit was gold, especially Lucas' reaction of, "...maybe." after having Cameo explained to him.

Also, tonight reminded me of my all time favorite Lucas quote:

"For apple trees the apple rots the seeds go into the ground as sapling comes up and the bees transfer pollen from a the female part of the plant which is the flower to the sapling which comes from the seed which is the male part of the plant."

But he'd have everyone believe he's getting an 80% in remedial biology.

That gem is from this old video.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

Lucas strikes me as a man in a foreign country who does not understand the language, but picks up certain phrases and repeats them for certain responses. However, he is incapable of fully learning the language for some reason. He knows “yumma dawarrr” at a restaurant will make the waiter bring him water. He knows “eekalacka” makes people move out of his way. He repeats these things after hearing other people say them, though he has no idea what they mean.

He knows the words “ACAB” “socialist” and others are vaguely associated with a younger group and he repeats them to try and be liked by said group.

He’s a man who will never understand WHY or HOW the language of socializing works, or ever be able to truly speak it, so he memorizes bits and pieces and repeats them without understanding their meaning, hoping to make some sort of connection or incite recognition in fellow humans.

Or he’s like a big ugly emu that wants to mate with tiny doves so he imitates small bits of the tiny dove mating call over and over but he does it badly and all the tiny doves can see he’s a big fucking ugly emu and none of them want that shit, they want to mate with other doves because they’re not idiots.

Either way.

Still stand by not poking the cows, but I'd fuckin die for a chance to see Lucas get catfished to a foreign country that doesn't speak english. I'd love to see fatty get flown to South Korea and MAYBE find one person that will point him to a barbecue place. Hell, if he's ever gonna find a young fertile zoom it's in that part of the world anyway.

Asia is the only place where any woman could even accidentally find him slightly attractive and even then she probably just assumes he's got that American guap.

Hell, he's even in Washington, perfect spot for a flight to Asia.

 

[WonderWino]

Still stand by not poking the cows, but I'd fuckin die for a chance to see Lucas get catfished to a foreign country that doesn't speak english. I'd love to see fatty get flown to South Korea and MAYBE find one person that will point him to a barbecue place. Hell, if he's ever gonna find a young fertile zoom it's in that part of the world anyway.

Asia is the only place where any woman could even accidentally find him slightly attractive and even then she probably just assumes he's got that American guap.

Hell, he's even in Washington. That's the connecting flight from Asia if you've got no business in Guam or Hawaii

Sweden would be a better choice.....if only so he could make a video eating 10 pounds of lutefisk after dousing it with siracha mayo, pickle juice and hot sauces. and recooking it in a toaster oven.....and then shitting his pants uncontrollably

All while ranting about how no socialist in name only swedish teens want to have his babies

 

[Wernology]

Sweden would be a better choice.....if only so he could make a video eating 10 pounds of lutefisk after dousing it with siracha mayo, pickle juice and hot sauces. and recooking it in a toaster oven.....and then shitting his pants uncontrollably

All while ranting about how no socialist in name only swedish teens want to have his babies

I'd be willing to be he'd be dumb enough to get catfished to Sweden if the catfish put on a good show of pretending to be Greta Thunberg.

It'd be a funnier version of the Catfished episode where the guy thought he was dating Katy Perry.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

Sweden would be a better choice.....if only so he could make a video eating 10 pounds of lutefisk after dousing it with siracha mayo, pickle juice and hot sauces. and recooking it in a toaster oven.....and then shitting his pants uncontrollably

All while ranting about how no socialist in name only swedish teens want to have his babies

Swedish women would be much more disgusted by him than Americans. Lucas might be the only one disgusting enough to handle large amounts of lutefisk though. I cant see him going there as much as somewhere where he *might* score some young poonaner at a reasonable distance. International flights suck ass, not that he has enough foresight to even think about that part of it though.

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

What's on the menu for the next episode of hobo kitchen?

A cornish hen doused in tiger sauce?

A duck with duck sauce?

Calamari and ketchup?

Horse flank and horseradish?

Sword fish and worchestershire?


When you're an autist with a toaster oven and the taste palette of a possum the possibilities are endless!

Duck a l’oRage

I'd be willing to be he'd be dumb enough to get catfished to Sweden if the catfish put on a good show of pretending to be Greta Thunberg.

It'd be a funnier version of the Catfished episode where the guy thought he was dating Katy Perry.

It wouldn’t be hard to do and convince him with a plane ticket. But fuck me I really hope there aren’t any other weird pricks wanting to get with her or some shit. She does her climate strike every Friday and judging by pictures was really accessible outside the Swedish parliament for a time though her guardians are pretty close. But I think I’d die of cringe seeing Lucas actually go up to her trying to get an autograph.

 

[IceQueen]

He could be your "generation x dad"...

I love that for that “meme” he chose a picture of himself eating a steak covered in mayo with his hands. I’ve literally never seen someone as delusional as him.

 

[Mertor]

I wonder how sad this year valentine day is going tobe for him

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

Sweden would be a better choice.....if only so he could make a video eating 10 pounds of lutefisk after dousing it with siracha mayo, pickle juice and hot sauces. and recooking it in a toaster oven.....and then shitting his pants uncontrollably

All while ranting about how no socialist in name only swedish teens want to have his babies

At least in Sweden he might get forced into the mental health system and put away for the good of humanity. God knows that isn’t happening in the states.

 

[Club Sandwich]

Asia is the only place where any woman could even accidentally find him slightly attractive

lmao no. he'd instantly get caught by an enterprising woman to take advantage for a visa to the US, or get robbed and killed for insulting the king (Myanmar), crossing the wrong narco group (Thailand), get beheaded as an infidel (Philippines), or be shunned by everyone (literally every asian country everywhere other than China or Japan or maybe S. Korea which would love some pics of the carnival attraction before ditching him.

unlike incel fantasies, asian women tend to not take shit from anyone unless they're already married to them or their parent and even then, it's limited. respect (and wealth) and family (and who you are friends with, connections et c) is everything and someone that has no respect for others will not last long. women in all the asian countries i've been to (over a dozen) were either the tiger-mom style, wealthy trophy wife style, or backstabbing business women style. ambitious social climbers that put themselves and their families first.

i would pay real money to send him to Vietnam (one of the friendlier countries) and see how long it'd take him to be declared a subversive element to the government.

 

[Dumpsterfire Enthusiast]

He managed to ruin a steak by coating it in a thick layer of seasoning salt and pickles

Also.....What the fuck. I don't even know what to say about this

and he put fucking siracha mayo on the steak. Fucking hell

Somethings just bizarre about hearing the cyberpunk soundtrack in the background of the wern cooking. Its just so unfitting for the disgusting food videos he makes

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

But I think I’d die of cringe seeing Lucas actually go up to her trying to get an autograph.

Oh but didn't you know? Lucas is a celebrity himself. Why would he need her autograph, after he approached her with the "Hi I'm Lucas" she'd belong to him after that. Case closed.

women in all the asian countries i've been to (over a dozen) were either the tiger-mom style, wealthy trophy wife style, or backstabbing business women style.

You obviously didn't interact with them very much. That sounds like something Lucas would say tbh. They're probably just communist in name only too, right?

 

[Poop Shoot]

I’ve been browsing through the earlier parts of this thread and ran across a post of lucas’ I forgot about.

View attachment 95230

Just found it interesting because it’s out of his own mouth. He’s rewritten history denying he was ever diagnosed with this, saying it’s something his mother only claimed, but here it is.

Might be something to remind him of next time he claims bipolar disorder is his (only, hah) problem.

 

[Da Dude123]

I’ve been browsing through the earlier parts of this thread and ran across a post of lucas’ I forgot about.



Just found it interesting because it’s out of his own mouth. He’s rewritten history denying he was ever diagnosed with this, saying it’s something his mother only claimed, but here it is.

Might be something to remind him of next time he claims bipolar disorder is his (only, hah) problem.

When presented with evidence like this Lucas will just start autistically screeching and saying: "No, reeee! That is photo shopped! I never posted that! You photo shopped it! Reeee! Moooo! You bigot! Mooove on! Mooove on!"