Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votes: 26 1.0%
  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votes: 146 5.5%
  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votes: 379 14.2%
  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votes: 545 20.5%
  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votes: 394 14.8%
  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votes: 318 12.0%
  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votes: 192 7.2%
  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votes: 661 24.8%

  • Total voters
    2,661
The bloody fat toddler pose is too much for me.

I want diet coke 4 life to rip these a new one... my amateur mobile fag can only do so much.

Sorry I've been remiss. Obligations and shit.

The fat toddler pose is lovely. Fight me.

So let's start with the fuckery that's her hair.
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My eyes were instantly drawn to this. What the hell is this? That's the wrong color of gray for a piece of the background. It appears to be some sort of off-white clip.
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At 800% magnification, you can clearly see it's a clip of some sort. Odd. Is this an extension that's on its way out?
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Two notes here. First - the hair that is permanently stuck as part of her back. That's what the lower arrow's pointing at. The upper arrow is pointing at the perfectly. Straight. Line. You know, those perfectly straight lines that Tess and her filters can never seem to get away from that never occur in nature.
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Now this... is too perfect to be a piece of the background. It's too straight of a line. I suspect it's a fabric element from where her filters attempted to construct her a new back.
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I couldn't help but giggle that she missed a patch of gray.
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This has to be the weirdest overlay of hair and ear ever. Either she has goofy as fuck Dumbo ears that extend off her head like a set of wings, her hair is erupting from a piece of flesh on her ear, or that's some dirty filter work there.
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Played with color and contrast just a smidge here to bring out the red so we can all see this horrible looking fatty abscess under her manly cleft chin. Yikes.
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Now fiddling with brightness and contrast really brings out all the pixelation where she had her filters doin' some massive body pushing. Look at that wonderful gradient absolutely littered with a muddy sea of flesh-colored pixels where she pushed in her fucking arm (there's the blue and black artifacts there, too, mingling with fleshy bits) to make her boob separate from her gunt and her arm! It gave her arm an unfortunate, unnatural dip, but who the hell's gonna notice that other than idiots like me?
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I like having the brightness/contrast do some work for me. Behold the pixelation around her blubbery ass. Specifically, behold the line of white pixels where her underwear were shoved all over the fucking place around the top of her supposed ass. It's beautiful. I am in particular adoring the cloud of 3 pixels that's just hanging out in mid-air above the curve that erupts after the pixel-perfect straight line the filter made her rear into. This shit's simply magical.
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Behold the difference in the crispness of the line. Tells ya where the blur tool dun her dirty. Her vertical ass is so soft and blurred compared to her cellulite thigh region.

And apologies, but that's all I've got the patience for right now. Got some serious lag and drinks going on right now.
 
I wonder if she ever goes to McClintocks when shes in SLO. It's a steakhouse with a bar/burger location downtown on higuera and their traditional ranch house in shell beach. Schlocky, campy, right up her alley.

Good food though, all you can eat onion rings, homemade salsa, and deep fried turkey nuts. Yup.

The salsa is really fucking good.

Eta: website https://mclintocks.com/ I was gonna order salsa but their ecommerce is currently closed (sad peasy)
 
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I wonder if she ever goes to McClintocks when shes in SLO. It's a steakhouse with a bar/burger location downtown on higuera and their traditional ranch house in shell beach. Schlocky, campy, right up her alley.

Good food though, all you can eat onion rings, homemade salsa, and deep fried turkey nuts. Yup.

The salsa is really fucking good.

Eta: website https://mclintocks.com/ I was gonna order salsa but their ecommerce is currently closed (sad peasy)
The food at McLintocks is actually fucking good and half the price of the Madonna Inn.

Schlock aside, you know she's never set foot in there. Too much taxidermy, not enough pink and gilt. Also they don't have her extra special retard cake.
 
The food at McLintocks is actually fucking good and half the price of the Madonna Inn.

Schlock aside, you know she's never set foot in there. Too much taxidermy, not enough pink and gilt. Also they don't have her extra special retard cake.
I have a champagne cake sized craving for that damn salsa all of a sudden and can't order any!! Ugh Firestone's is good shit too. And Woodstock pizza.

I figured she'd love the western vibe of the ranch house but it's not as insta worthy as the madonna, and like you said, no champagne cake
 
I have a champagne cake sized craving for that damn salsa all of a sudden and can't order any!! Ugh Firestone's is good shit too. And Woodstock pizza.

I figured she'd love the western vibe of the ranch house but it's not as insta worthy as the madonna, and like you said, no champagne cake
GORL. I haven't had Woodstock's in decades. And now the pizza I had for dinner pales in comparison to a Garlic Bird. Stupid inferior pizza.
 
More cake and random sweets
Hoo boy.

So now, in a 72 hour period, Tess has consumed:
3 cakes
12 doughnuts
12 twinkies
18 mini cupcakes
24 pieces of hard candy
12 pieces of chocolate candy

We added up the candy, cupcakes and doughnuts and were up to around 9,600 calories. But the cakes jack that total up significantly: each slice of homemade cake - with frosting! - will come out to approximately 500 calories. The cakes look like the don't exceed 8" in diameter, so let's estimate they make 6 chunky slices each.

Leading to an approximate visible sweets only caloric total of 18,600 calories.

Edit: ah shit, I forgot to add in the twinkies - I was too memorized by the cakes calories! Twinkies are 270 calories for two twinkies. So with 12 twinkies being 1,620, our new 72 hour visible sweets caloric total is:
20,220.
 
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So waited for the farmers to come back with more insta posts. It was valentines day yesterday definitely been and gone and not one lousy easy bullshit love my boys post confirmed.

(:_(

Rylee and Bowie - don't worry Mawm is busy eating herself to death so you don't have her 400lb narc drain bullshit on your life for much longer.

I can't be mad at this. It is so sad. Where is sad on the Internet?

Oh well back to Chantals onlyfans... and @Diet Coke 4 Life excellent and triumphant return :shit-eating:
 
It's official: Ryann and Olly are doing the fake-gay "platonic life partner" act and declaring today their one year anniversary.
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Countdown until Olly can find a better social rung on the ladder to leech from... how many "my trans partner abused me!" posts will Ryann make?
 
It's official: Ryann and Olly are doing the fake-gay "platonic life partner" act and declaring today their one year anniversary.
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Countdown until Olly can find a better social rung on the ladder to leech from... how many "my trans partner abused me!" posts will Ryann make?

Call me cynical, but both very public love letters read to me: "Thanks for being my emotional trash can." And in this year of platonic love we already had a minor incident where Tess bitched out because Olly ghosted her.
 
No, most of us don't want to watch fat people fuck. Gross. Nor do we want to "emulate" her 400 lb "curves".
I'm not even going to get into the trash tattoos and blown-out silicone filler lips.

It's official: Ryann and Olly are doing the fake-gay "platonic life partner" act and declaring today their one year anniversary.
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Countdown until Olly can find a better social rung on the ladder to leech from... how many "my trans partner abused me!" posts will Ryann make?
Tess: Either eat Olly's pussy or STFU. I'm so tired of "queers" pretending to be gay, but not actually doing anything gay. Tess is just another heterosexual trying to score SJW points.
 
Oh fucking PUH-LEEZE, RYANN.

The porn and the fucking = "Look what I can get this fat pig to do."
There's a thing with some men hold "contests" with each other. They go to bars/clubs in groups (usually co-workers) and they deadass WILL award cash prizes and/or cut a check to the bro who nets the biggest, fattest 4H HAWG at the bar. I used to work in an auto plant and among the guys, whether it's skilled trades or assembly did this shit constantly. They next day, you'd hear them laughing and cutting up about it at least half the shift.

And curves?? Yeah, we know ROUND and BEACHBALL and BEANBAG I guess are "curves" but no, RYANN, men want proportional with perky round breasts and a firm round ass.

I mean, I know you think you're hot shit on a silver platter, Ryann, but you're really just cold poop on a paper plate--a Family Dollar paper plate at that.
Can't wait for this new "relationship" to bite Olly in the non-ass.

EDIT: I've always had a pet theory that fat fetishists were men who had major performance and meeting expectation problems. You know Ryann can't logistically perform sexually herself, so not out of the realm of possibility to see some guy straight from "One Hour Photo" taking a shine to this slam pig. He doesn't have to admit he has erection issues or that he's a sad sack trying to grift for DRS caretaker money as opposed to getting a real job.

Don't believe me? Watch the Penny episode of my 600LB life.
 
Hah! Knew they would pull this shit, and of course, they're platonic. I won't be surprised if next they declare they're in a poly amorous relationship, so Tess can keep on banging men (besides her feeders), and Olly can go fuck someone who's normal sized (I'm assuming that Olly is actually bi) and hopefully get to move in their place to leech off them.

Also...

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🤔 I wonder how Olly thinks Tess is stupid. Could it maybe the fact Tess invited a literal stranger to come live with her, rent free,then got ditched by Olly, then when Olly couldn't find someone to mooch off of, Tess lets Olly come back, once again rent free, just so long as she helps Tess's LARP of being a queer woman?
 
It's official: Ryann and Olly are doing the fake-gay "platonic life partner" act and declaring today their one year anniversary.
View attachment 1923207View attachment 1923208

Countdown until Olly can find a better social rung on the ladder to leech from... how many "my trans partner abused me!" posts will Ryann make?
When a Narcissist and a Borderliner meet and fall into opportunistic infatuation...

Olly's mention of "spiralling," her evident neediness, her desire for attention, the self-harm of her eating disorder, the overinflated drama in the way she talks about her emotional life--it's all Borderliner shit.

They deserve each other; they really do. The only reason they're still infatuated with each other is because they don't live anywhere near each other, and the relationship is largely carried out online. And when it all implodes--as it inevitably will--Olly will be the one to spill the tea. I can't wait.

Nobody tries to emulate your curves, Tess. Maybe Kim Kardashian's, but she's hardly plus size.

Fucking fat chicks in private--do you not yet know that a lot of men out there will literally fuck anything, or anybody willing to have them? Any woman bragging about getting men to have NSA sex with her is on the level of a teenage boy bragging about how many potato chips he can eat--it's a given, not an accomplishment.

Saying that men want to have sex with you, while at the same time admitting that they don't want it to be public knowledge, or that they refuse to have any kind of genuine relationship with you, isn't something to brag about. It's pathetic. Especially coming from a woman whose one short-lived marriage was to a con artist who targets lonely fat women because they're such easy prey, and who would rather be fucking men anyway.

And the people who watch fatty porn either do it for the lulz, or because they're into degradation. Surpassingly few do it because they truly worship fat goddesses. If there were men out there who truly desired her "curves," and thought they were beautiful, she wouldn't be all alone on Valentine's Day again.

She should know all this, and know it well enough by now to realize how stupid it is to post it. But she is dumb, and frankly, whatever she posts isn't meant for smart people, or men--it's meant for lonely fat women just like her who want to keep the fantasy going that they are desirable.
 
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