Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.


Josh is sniping some ciggy buts from his ashtray |
1:20 people were trolling him saying Sydney Watson doesn't like his videos |
2:00 lots of shirt sales |
7:10 Josh wants to buy a tapestry but needs to buy other things first |
8:15 patience finding a single goth girl - single awareness day |
10:22 getting harassed on his phone by trolls |
14:20 his last livestream is blocked for copyright |
16:50 asking for beats from DJ Choice |
18:00 Josh watches a shoe on head video |
22:34 listens to DJ Choice beats |
25:12 Josh's older album got taken off iTunes for using a sample from Cradle of Filth |
36:00 gets sent a picture of tits and they claim it's Sydney Watson - that's not her |
38:50 his trolls are pretending to by SW |
41:20 you're only good at rapping text |
45:25 guitar playing |
55:38 guys out there pretend to be nice to get pussy |
59:55 only wants kids when he gets his mansion and talks about his kids wanting to ring the bells in his clocktower |
1:03:40 Josh talks about bullying Carl in high school |
1:06:10 Josh lies and says he didn't make fun of Carls mom dying of cancer | gender relations talk watching shoe on head video |
1:23:00 kids now are going trans at a young age to get approval from their parents |
1:30:30 if you want to take a girl out on a date, make sure you have £100 in your wallet |
1:45:00 if you can't handle rejection, get a sex doll - eating a girls pussy out and she sprays you in the mouth with her pussy juice |
2:11:45 women complain when they get called a cunt |
2:21:58 are you ready to quit tobacco? NO! |
2:55:50 takes a shit playing his music |
3:06:38 fuck homophobia - his trolls are gay |
3:15:30 Josh's neighbor knocks on his door to tell him that he's been getting food with Josh's name on it |
3:16:55 Josh tells people to stop sending things to him |
3:19:40 he appreciates his fans sending him food but send him money to buy food for himself |
3:35:10 please stop sending him food, send him money instead |
I hate whoever told him to watch "shoe on the head"
It took Kobes 2 hours and 40 minutes to realise that nice guys/ nice girls was sarcasm :story:
At 2 hours 50 minutes he makes a legit funny joke about showering with tactical soap
 
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Coin Ops said:
In a short stream from last night, he mentioned his dick being 7 1/2 inches long with a 2 inch girth. This is a half inch less then the 8 inches he used to brag about. Did the years of spray paint inhalation hurt the hog? Or is it just being like a cobra, hiding and patiently waiting for the right time to strike?
[/SPOILER]
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So his dick is slightly above 1.5 cm "thick" (diameter). These proportions are decidedly uncommon.
 
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TurdFondler said:
I've got $20 that says he was picking at his skin after smoking spice
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The subreddit seems to be growing increasingly annoyed with "meth speculation" but between his quivering, weird vocal pitch, and this, the little fucker did something out of the usual. Apparently he had it prior in 2019 but it's a series of very convenient coincidences that he just so happens to be behaving and appearing as someone on a specific substance.
 
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Dick Pooman said:
Cobra said during tonight's "chillin" stream that the big red blotch on his jaw is from "picking out whisker hairs" and scratching at it has made it worse.
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I can't stop looking at it now since I noticed it
SnusBurns said:
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Showing the phone to the camera.
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Zero sympathy for anyone who gets their number doxed by Kobes. It's not like this is the first time he's done that on stream so no reason to act surprised when he does it. That's what fucking with people online gets you.
 
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KillThemCrackasBabies said:
The subreddit seems to be growing increasingly annoyed with "meth speculation" but between his quivering, weird vocal pitch, and this, the little fucker did something out of the usual. Apparently he had it prior in 2019 but it's a series of very convenient coincidences that he just so happens to be behaving and appearing as someone on a specific substance.
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I doubt it is crystal meth but I can totally see him just eating whatever random pill one of his sketchbag friends give him methylphenidate or something similar to that. Is it possible he just has like fleas or mites or something? I can't imagine him NOT having bedbugs or something in his old apartment.
Ellesse_warrior said:
I can't stop looking at it now since I noticed it

Zero sympathy for anyone who gets their number doxed by Kobes. It's not like this is the first time he's done that on stream so no reason to act surprised when he does it. That's what fucking with people online gets you.
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Really though, I'm surprised he doesn't just say "If you call my phone I am putting your number out there" I guess that would require some critical thinking.
 
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Ellesse_warrior said:
Zero sympathy for anyone who gets their number doxed by Kobes. It's not like this is the first time he's done that on stream so no reason to act surprised when he does it. That's what fucking with people online gets you.
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This. Anyone who falls into that trap this fucking late into the game gets what they have coming, to say nothing of the wits of people cold calling retards with their actual phone numbers to begin with.
 
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I haven't caught up yet but here's the streams from yesterday
Josh said there were 'technical difficulties' in his last stream and deleted it |
1:10 Josh shows his phone to the screen. It's a drawing by tophgrass from the subreddit of Josh balding looking into the mirror |
1:20 this picture is what people do with their pathetic lives |
2:25 Josh won't dox his trolls anymore, that makes him a hypocrite and says he hates rapists |
3:20 Josh was watching a girl called hope_daily on chaturbate |
3:46 Josh deleted his last livestream because youtube would have banned him |
4:55 Josh wishes sick fuck rapists would get a pocket pussy or something |
5:50 the only people Josh offends, is the trolls |
6:50 can go live whenever he wants |
7:20 Josh fucks with demons, trolls aren't shit |
9:00 after all the years of bullying, he's developed a thick skin |
10:10 made well over $100 selling shirts |
10:30 shoutout to Sydney Watson in chat |
13:00 Josh is happy to mod Sydney Watson but can't click to check to see if it's the real Sydney Watson |
17:40 friendship is more than getting laid |
18:00 he's been pulling the hair out of his beard |
19:30 would rather get the cure to COVID then get laid |
20:28 Josh isn't sure if spookygirl is real on her youtube |
21:00 Sydney doesn't need to mod him on her channel |
21:44 Josh's first Sydney Watson video was about obesity and plugs her channel |
23:00 fake SW plugs Josh's paypal |
23:30 would date a black goth girl as long as she was of age and pretty and clean |
24:00 hates rapists, he has to specify of age |
26:55 some women lie about being raped for pussy privilege |
27:20 Josh calls Amber Heard, Amber Reed |
30:25 snorts tobacco snuff |
32:05 would collab with Jeffery Star |
33:45 hat comes off and Josh talks about pronouns |
35:55 some troll sent him a pic of Sydney Watson naked |
37:40 drugs aren't the problem, addicts are |
38:15 whoring yourself out for drugs? sort your life out |
41:40 finding out Lemmy did cystal meth |
45:50 Ozzy should smoke weed for his parkinsons |
47:29 Ozzy wears a cross to be ironic |
50:39 Josh is grateful for his parents putting up with him |
51:20 doesn't hate his biological mother, she's not bothered to reach out to him |
51:55 wonders if his real mom saw him on youtube and thought holy shit, he's a celebrity now |
56:20 make wands when the weather is nicer |
Josh is on Richie Reit's Discord |
00:30 was going to upload a GTA5 video but has to re-record it |
2:30 Josh plays a voicemail telling him not to go live |
3:33 wants to scan his hat and 3D print them to sell |
4:10 Josh reads off dirty jokes with Shon |
19:56 suicide joke - fuck suicide |
31:20 Sydney Watson won't get blocked, thanks for the shoutout |
33:22 British accent |
34:41 Josh puts his hat on Shon |
38:00 when the weather gets warmer, he will make more wands |
42:29 Bill Clinton - chick with jizz on her dress |
44:44 if Josh went to Hogwarts, he would only be able to cast a dry spell and Shon calls him a smelly autistic boglim |
46:00 Josh pours water on his dick and gets his dick wet |
51:00 Josh has a scab on his face from picking out his hair |
52:11 Josh is packing down there but is a good listener |
54:00 plan a romantic picnic at a graveyard |
56:11 FUCK TERRANCE POP |
58:32 Josh turned his comments off and on to get a reaction from his trolls |
1:12:20 monetisation is off, but he wont change who he is to get it back
Josh got a text telling him not to go live |
0:45 made over $100 from selling shirts |
1:20 shoenice is the reason why we have idiots eating tidepods |
2:00 Josh relates girls not giving guys a chance to going to a bar and not ordering a drink |
4:00 not telling you how to lvi your life, live it like you are |
5:25 loads of girls in town like him but wont ask him out |
6:17 Casper has a good collection of adult goth chicks in town |
6:50 first question he would ask a girl is their age - they must be 21 so she can drink and say she's his |
8:15 recording GTA5 gameplay soon |
8:40 theres a goth chick out there for him |
9:40 women are the gatekeepers of sex |
10:10 guy budies hypothetical getting a girl at the bar |
12:15 Josh gets his phone spammed with 'christian bullshit' |
13:40 love sucks, we all die alone | 15:20 not here to do one of his 'classic' gender relation rants |
15:55 plays the first completed song off his new album Love and Vanity |
20:27 texts from trolls |
22:00 vocal layering |
28:00 got one song left on his new album, will work on the rest eventually |
28:50 how can you tell if a chick is clean and of age? just ask but women can lie about that | 29:25 make her show her ID | 29:47 some of these girls look 21 but are actually 16 |
30:15 Josh says they added hormones in food and make girls look older |
30:50 the FDA regulate tobacco instead of food |
23:50 Sydney Watson in chat! (Josh mods a troll thinking it's her) |
35:55 goes over the shirts he's sold |
36:45 Josh got a $6 PayPal donation and says if he ever has a daughter, she can't wear makeup until she's 16 years old and wouldn't let her have a Barbie |
38:35 would only have kids if he has his mansion - he would make sure his kids are humble about being rich |
40:50 going to teach his kids to swear when they get mad instead of throwing a fit |
42:50 Josh is happy he's clean and has no kids |
44:10 loves getting him some of age pussy |
46:00 Josh doesn't care if his dryspell lasts another year |
46:45 Josh went to the health clinic and found out his condom size - extra large and tried one out watching chaturbate |
48:25 Josh talks about barely passing high school at Natrona County High School and calls himself a social justice warrior |
50:05 everyone in his old highschools knew who he was and they all know he's a youtube celebrity now |
51:10 Professor Snape impression |
51:30 losing his hair on top, doesn't care though, the hair doesn't make the man |
 
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Did anyone else not realize Talon "Beatboxin'" Johnson was a Darf cousin, or am I just really really slow on the draw?

(also Kobes has a wiki)

Talon Johnson - The Cobrapedia

thecobrapedia.miraheze.org thecobrapedia.miraheze.org
Talon.PNG


Between Warlord knocking up another one of his cousins it seems like Casper is like Six Degrees of Darflny.
 
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Ellesse_warrior said:
I haven't caught up yet but here's the streams from yesterday
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As soon as he made "Sydney Watson" a mod, they started deleting most of the chat comments from his actual fans. His only response was a sheepish "Uh, Sydney, you don't have to mod right now if you don't want to..." Starts around 17 min into the first video and really picks up around 20 minutes in.
 
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KillThemCrackasBabies said:
Did anyone else not realize Talon "Beatboxin'" Johnson was a Darf cousin, or am I just really really slow on the draw?
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I didn't know that, either. I honestly don't remember seeing anyone bring it up when that news story blew up about him being responsible his kid dying.
 
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