DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Massively Strong Greed]

I suck ass at chess and yet I bet I could beat Phil.

 

[Iron Hamster]

Agreed. I think his stupid narrative is that he needs to refund it right away AND block the person from tipping, so that they can't keep doing it, and in turn cost phil even more money in potential "refund fees" (2.9% of tip + 0.30 or whatever number it is). I can *kind of* understand the blocking part (assuming it's true), but there really is no reason he cant refund them after the stream. Maybe his mentality is "if I have to suffer through these fake tips, then so do you".

He knows how to subvert all this and he's said he would do it but for some reason is reluctant.............stop taking tips.

Phil is the kind of player that at the end of season awards night they would come up with some bullshit like "most well behaved player" so that he doesn't feel left out. And he would go home brimming with joy thinking he was valued and at the top of his game.

He is the reason participation trophies exist now.

 

[AWorthlessHuman]

There were at least a handful of games DSP's played where he went "to the bathroom" and came back instantly knowing what to do in an attempt to hide the fact he went straight to the internet to get a gameplay guide, right? I feel like I remember that.

He did this with Dark Souls 1 for sure. There's an optional area you can only reach after going through multiple illusory walls in a row, he attempted to hide the fact that he knew about the second illusory wall by pretending he was trying to hit a chest to check if it was a mimic, but he hit it repeatedly until his weapon eventually passed through it and hit the illusory wall behind it. Cue the hammed up "OH THERE'S ANOTHER ILLUSORY WALL?", which he then used as justification for checking the next room for one too. It would have fooled people if he didn't run directly to to spot he had to hit...


Edit: now that I think about it, he happens to show almost uncanny foresight throughout his playthroughs of Soulsborne games, foresight he is curiously bereft of in more casual games. But then again, I'm probably just being a fuckin' morahn lifeless criminal detractor, and am not the guy.

 

[Very Honest Content]

New Phil lore dropped, he tried out for the basketball team and was the best the coach had ever seen, he was sinking shot after shot, the coach was like "omg you're amazing kid!" but he couldn't dribble very well so he didn't make the cut.

To be honest, since the high school was apparently a recruiting front for their basketball team, I can see a coach deciding to pass on the height challenged white guy with bad handles and instead finding a taller more athletically gifted project to teach how to shoot and keep possession with dribbling drills instead. (Also if you want to become better at dribbling a basketball it takes the mastery of four simple basic drills, three of which have to be done on the other hand as well as your dominant one, the last one is literally a crossover dribble which engages your right and left hands alternately, Phil couldn't even bothered to try any of those first apparently, which is why you know the entire story is bullshit.)

 

[Zappin’ And Spazzin’]

He did this with Dark Souls 1 for sure. There's an optional area you can only reach after going through multiple illusory walls in a row, he attempted to hide the fact that he knew about the second illusory wall by pretending he was trying to hit a chest to check if it was a mimic, but he hit it repeatedly until his weapon eventually passed through it and hit the illusory wall behind it. Cue the hammed up "OH THERE'S ANOTHER ILLUSORY WALL?", which he then used as justification for checking the next room for one too. It would have fooled people if he didn't run directly to to spot he had to hit...


Edit: now that I think about it, he happens to show almost uncanny foresight throughout his playthroughs of Soulsborne games, foresight he is curiously bereft of in more casual games. But then again, I'm probably just being a fuckin' morahn lifeless criminal detractor, and am not the guy.

Don’t forget that time he reacted to Lautrec murdered the Fire Keeper...before it actually happened.
“Look who’s here! And look, oh shit...there’s blood!”
Or Hell, the absolute circus show of him pretending to not know what would happen during the Orphan of Kos fight.

 

[AWorthlessHuman]

Don’t forget that time he reacted to Lautrec murdered the Fire Keeper...before it actually happened.
“Look who’s here! And look, oh shit...there’s blood!”
Or Hell, the absolute circus show of him pretending to not know what would happen during the Orphan of Kos fight.

I completely forgot about both of those. It's so hard to keep track of the Dark Souls 1 DSP lore because of the multiple runs of the original and the remaster. Absolute comedy gold! Funniest part is his wheelchairs not noticing or calling him on it.

 

[marlintan]

The classic Phil lie with just a tiny sprinkling of believable truth on top.

Sinking shots nonstop to the point the coach commented positively on it? That's the classic Phil trying to raise himself up like a chad that we all know is bullshit through and through. But fucking up at dribbling the ball? You know, dribbling the ball, the one primary fundamental act in basketball, that anybody can figure out how to do after going outside and fucking around with a basketball for just a few minutes? Yeah, Phil being such a tardlet that he couldn't even wrap his head around dribbling the ball is the part I believe.

I'd be happy to provide what I theorize really happened, if Phil ever bothered to play for a basketball team: He walked in, couldn't even dribble the ball properly nor even figure out how to shoot the ball, and the coach told Momma Burnell that Phil was "a little too special" to play for their team, then she bought him two McDonald's Happy Meals on the way back home where he continued to fuck up repeatedly at World 1-1 of Mario for the rest of that day.

Most if not all of the pop warner leagues I was in as a kid had guaranteed time for the kids so the coaches didn't have to hear the parents bitching... like in football you'd be guaranteed to be in like 5 plays a game at least. For kids basketball, I made like 1 basket the entire season, I just liked guarding the ball and trying to steal it. For soccer I got constant cards for slide tackling from behind... this is a long way of saying that kids athletics are pretty damn inclusive, and if he didn't make the cut for like under 12 sports, then he was absolutely either as toxic or lazy as a kid as he is today.

EDIT: if his claim was for 12+ YO sports, there is a reason schools have varsity, and JV divisions, they want kids to be active and not smoking/drinking, so scheduled practices and games allow loners (DSP) to find a place for inclusion if they put in a modicum of effort to support the team... for some reason Paul is not the personality that comes to mind when thinking of altruism.

 

[Forbidden Math]

Hmm, I found more chess lore but will you look at that suddenly the story is different. I wonder why the story would change?

DSP claiming no one in chess club in high school could beat him is another example of really pathetic clout chasing. Of course he's a master at chess, it's a game for smart people you see and Phil is very smart don't you know. I really want to see that clip of him playing chess in a game.

Speaking of which did Paypiggo get eradicated? I can't seem to pull it up anymore.

 

[AWorthlessHuman]

Hmm, I found more chess lore but will you look at that suddenly the story is different. I wonder why the story would change?

DSP claiming no one in chess club in high school could beat him is another example of really pathetic clout chasing. Of course he's a master at chess, it's a game for smart people you see and Phil is very smart don't you know. I really want to see that clip of him playing chess in a game.

Speaking of which did Paypiggo get eradicated? I can't seem to pull it up anymore.

works fine for me, an ISP issue?

 

[leChinkyRaccoon]

To be honest, since the high school was apparently a recruiting front for their basketball team, I can see a coach deciding to pass on the height challenged white guy with bad handles and instead finding a taller more athletically gifted project to teach how to shoot and keep possession with dribbling drills instead. (Also if you want to become better at dribbling a basketball it takes the mastery of four simple basic drills, three of which have to be done on the other hand as well as your dominant one, the last one is literally a crossover dribble which engages your right and left hands alternately, Phil couldn't even bothered to try any of those first apparently, which is why you know the entire story is bullshit.)

Don't need handles, he could have literally been the beta of Duncan Robinson version 0.8, because HS basketball is all about spot up shooting and not minimizing basic mistakes.

 

[Forbidden Math]

works fine for me, an ISP issue?

Could be, it is paypiggo.net right? Maybe I'm just entering the wrong address.

 

[AWorthlessHuman]

Could be, it is paypiggo.net right? Maybe I'm just entering the wrong address.

yeah https://www.pigpiggo.net/

 

[Just Use Tiger Drop]

Can chess get lag?

you would think no, because people used to play via mail and all, right? but *clears throat* uhm, achtually...

 

[Massively Strong Greed]

WTF is PayPigGo? It’s PigPigGo.

 

[Nurse Ratchet]

Could be, it is paypiggo.net right? Maybe I'm just entering the wrong address.

It works for me. Lol, it's PIGpiggo, not paypig. But I totally understand mixing that up.

 

[Forbidden Math]

yeah https://www.pigpiggo.net/

Ah, there we go, I'm a derich. Now to look through hours of content to see if I can find any footage of DSP playing chess.

Edit, may add more later:

Fair warning, the AI is retarded. Holy shit he tries to take his own piece.

 

[Jonny Rico]

you would think no, because people used to play via mail and all, right? but *clears throat* uhm, achtually...

Aww mah Gawd! That checkmate woulda nevva worked offline! What a scrub!

 

[Filthy Greenskin]

Aww mah Gawd! That checkmate woulda nevva worked offline! What a scrub!

*eyes bug out* Huuuh? Dood, did yoo see dat? *looks at chat, arms held up* Like c'maaan dood, how is that even fair? Since when did bishups move like that? *panic snort* Seriously! Such bullshit...Stoopid indians don't know what ak-chew-ul war is like! It doesn't even make laahgikal sense! *rocks back in his chair* Okay, looks dumbasses in chat don't know whut ak-chew-ul chess is supposed to be like.. *LIMB*

 

[actually]

Or Hell, the absolute circus show of him pretending to not know what would happen during the Orphan of Kos fight.

Don't forget what happened right before the Kos fight as well--Phil just "randomly" decided to go exploring an underground labyrinth of passages and managed to, by total happenstance, find an item in one that gave significant boosts to all his resistances! What a coincidence.

 

[Kosher Dill]

no dood

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93Cl-wGomxM&t=173

he joined the chess club in high school and was totally better than everyone else

I don't know why everyone's so skeptical that Phil was the best chess player at Basketball High. I'm sure he did beat Tyrone, Daquan, and Lashonda.
Of course, as achievements go that's slightly less impressive than winning a mall Tekken tournament.