Community Munchausen's by Internet (Malingerers, Munchies, Spoonies, etc) - Feigning Illnesses for Attention

Their Type I Diabetes cards say "mmol/L" so at least this one isn't America's fault.

"The card holder will have a blood glucose meter and you will need to check their blood" -- the instructions on these cards assume a lot out of some poor bystander.


mollusc.jpg
 
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Aunt Carol said:
Their Type I Diabetes cards say "mmol/L" so at least this one isn't America's fault.

"The card holder will have a blood glucose meter and you will need to check their blood" -- the instructions on these cards assume a lot out of some poor bystander.


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I think if someone handed me this card, I’d punch them in the face before going to wash my hands.
 
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Aunt Carol said:
Their Type I Diabetes cards say "mmol/L" so at least this one isn't America's fault.

"The card holder will have a blood glucose meter and you will need to check their blood" -- the instructions on these cards assume a lot out of some poor bystander.


View attachment 1974702
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Nothing says "I have respect for people who don't want to catch my contagious skin disease" like demanding they clean up after your nasty ass.

edit: and yeah, this "as a stranger you are obligated to take care of me" thing is bullshit. There's a reason the airlines tell you if you're not comfortable being the one who has to kick out the emergency hatch, please change seats with someone who will. Some people just aren't the kick-out-the-hatch type, they're the useless in emergencies type.

Plus, maybe I'm just totally ignorant to diabetes but if the person is so incapacitated by beetus that they can't check their own blood sugar wouldn't you just call 911? I don't know how to operate a glucometer, I don't know what an okay reading is, and I don't know how to fix you if there is a problem. This is not my responsibility and you will be in much more danger if you're relying on me.
 
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Aunt Carol said:
Their Type I Diabetes cards say "mmol/L" so at least this one isn't America's fault.

"The card holder will have a blood glucose meter and you will need to check their blood" -- the instructions on these cards assume a lot out of some poor bystander.


View attachment 1974702
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This is literally a "do not fuck this person" warning. Somehow, I imagine that wouldn't be a problem even without the informational card.

Also, I love the concept of having a business card with TINY print that says "btw don't touch this card" midway through a paragraph about how you can cater to the cardholder. Like, what exactly is the expectation here? Does the person with the card just hold it out at arm's length while the other one bends down, squinting, to read the instructions? What is the purpose of this? If you have a contagious condition, why is it anyone else's responsibility to sanitize stuff you touch?
 
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Thomas Eugene Paris said:
If you have a contagious condition, why is it anyone else's responsibility to sanitize stuff you touch?
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Even worse, the C.diff card says "LEMME USE BATHROOM" but never mentions that uh, you might want to bleach it afterward.
cdiff.jpg


(Blurry in the original. Also note: "holder of this can.")
 
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Aunt Carol said:
Even worse, the C.diff card says "LEMME USE BATHROOM" but never mentions that uh, you might want to bleach it afterward.
View attachment 1974756

(Blurry in the original. Also note: "holder of this can.")
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If you have C. Diff why the fuck are you going out in public spreading your incredibly contagious fecal bacteria everywhere?!

another idiot said:
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If someone is retarded enough that they need a random stranger to tell them to move away from smokers and make sure they don't eat raw meat, maybe they shouldn't be pregnant in the first place.
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Wait. What? The holder of this card is pregnant and might require assistance keeping away from smokers? Please cook my food properly?

Under what circumstances is this used? "Hello, random person smoking in the 5 feet outside the back door of the bar where you are still allowed to smoke, please stop because I am PREGNANT!" "Hello, 17-year-old making $7 an hour ringing up my mickey d's order. Please ensure the meat is cooked thoroughly because I am PREGNANT!"

How self-centered do you have to be to think that you get to dictate everyone else's behavior with a stupid card?
 
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Aunt Carol said:
Even worse, the C.diff card says "LEMME USE BATHROOM" but never mentions that uh, you might want to bleach it afterward.
View attachment 1974756

(Blurry in the original. Also note: "holder of this can.")
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I'm beginning to think these are a pretty subtle satire. They have to be. Right? There's no way that this can be real.
 
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Thomas Eugene Paris said:
I'm beginning to think these are a pretty subtle satire. They have to be. Right? There's no way that this can be real.
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If you catch me at a low moral ebb, I would have no objection to setting up a system whereby munchies gave me money in increments of $9.99 for some print-on-demand junk.

You know what's weird? There's no "I have an ostomy" card, which is the very first invisible disability that should be on the list of "I know it's employees only but I seriously need a bathroom."

I wish this were a grift, but the poorly researched "take care of me, kind stranger" directions written in the subjunctive case and the diagnosis-of-exclusion ailments just stink of sanctimony and the worried well, catering to extremely-online munchies. Look how many tell you to give a rando a "quiet place to rest." Ma'am, this is a Wendy's.
 
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Aunt Carol said:
Even worse, the C.diff card says "LEMME USE BATHROOM" but never mentions that uh, you might want to bleach it afterward.
View attachment 1974756

(Blurry in the original. Also note: "holder of this can.")
Click to expand...

I sympathize with the issue of a general lack of public restrooms. I really do. But if anybody handed me one of these I'd just read it as "Hello underpaid service worker! :) Please let me do weird sick person infection poops in your bathroom! :) I am very special! :) Also my crotch smells like fish! :) Why did I tell you that? :) No reason! :) Your cooperation is appreciated! :)"
 
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CamiRose said:
Not that we know of. I know she started smoking weed but nothing harder
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Plus she'd had some real serious health problems in the last year that seemed like just residual effects of the ED and really bad luck. My first guess was something like a pulmonary embolism that stopped her already fucked heart before she even realized what was happening.

inb4 "kiwifarms killed her"
 
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