Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Ralph Barnhardt]

For a guy who keeps typing "NATRUAL SELECTION" over and over - This nigga does remember he has the beetus, right?

Self inflicted beetus too. The superior man's way to loose a foot.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Surely, someone who's lived on the mean, crime-filled streets of Lynn, MA all his life has got to know how to handle himself! Just look at this dangerous, filth-ridden hive of villany:

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From Wikipedia:

Lynn is the 9th largest municipality in Massachusetts[3] and the largest city in Essex County. Situated on the Atlantic Ocean, 3.7 miles (6.0 km) north of the Boston city line at Suffolk Downs, Lynn is part of Greater Boston's urban inner core.[4] Settled by Europeans in 1629, Lynn is the 5th oldest colonial settlement in the Commonwealth.[5] An early industrial center, Lynn was long colloquially referred to as the "City of Sin", owing to its historical reputation for crime and vice. Today, however, the city is known for its contemporary public art,[6][7][8][9] immigrant population, historic architecture, downtown cultural district, loft-style apartments, and public parks and open spaces,[10] which include the oceanfront Lynn Shore Reservation; the 2,200-acre, Frederick Law Olmsted-designed Lynn Woods Reservation; and the High Rock Tower Reservation. Lynn also is home to Lynn Heritage State Park,[11] the southernmost portion of the Essex Coastal Scenic Byway,[12] and the seaside, National Register-listed Diamond Historic District.[13]

Unless Bob was somehow alive in the 1920s when this place was being overrun by mobsters, he's completely full of shit about "living in a dangerous area" all his life.

I hope I'm not being a retard, but I thought Blob lived in Revere?

Unless there are two people called Robert Chipman who were born on 20 February 1981, live in Mass and are registered Dems, I'm sure that he's on the electoral roll as living in Revere:

This private information is unavailable to guests due to policies enforced by third-parties.

 

[Mola Ram]

I hope I'm not being a retard, but I thought Blob lived in Revere?

Unless there are two people called Robert Chipman who were born on 20 February 1981, live in Mass and are registered Dems, I'm sure that he's on the electoral roll as living in Revere:

This private information is unavailable to guests due to policies enforced by third-parties.

I think he grew up in Lynn but now lives in Revere. Is Revere a bad neighborhood?

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

I think he grew up in Lynn but now lives in Revere. Is Revere a bad neighborhood?

I don't know the area personally, but I found this.

 

[BubbleButt]

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Note he didn't even shop away the sebaceous cyst on his nose.

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If any artistically-inclined Kiwi wants to improve on them, please don't hesitate!

I gotcha, Boo



Interesting note: The framing is not the same in these two images, for some reason, and fuckin' Chris didn't crop his own goddamn ugly dome correctly. What a spectacular failure!

Ah, well, at least I made some exploitables for you crazy kids.

 

[Jetpack Himmler]

For a guy who keeps typing "NATRUAL SELECTION" over and over - This nigga does remember he has the beetus, right?

One of the myriad things that Bob does not understand is that humans effectively say, "Fuck you!" to natural selection by altering the environment to suit our needs. His entire existence is sustained by easy access to food, medicine, and most importantly to him, entertainment that an industrial society provides. This morbidly obese fuck would be absolutely useless in a hunter-gatherer or an agrarian culture and natural selection would have taken him out decades ago if it were still in play.

 

[Oh Long Johnson]

I think he grew up in Lynn but now lives in Revere. Is Revere a bad neighborhood?

Revere is basically mini-Staten Island.

 

[SinEater]

(Mexican Kiwi btw)

Seemingly?!

SEEMINGLY?!

Bitch, Mexicans love Speedy. That's a pure fact. If you were to come down to Mexico and ask about it. 9 times out of 10 you'll find people that heard of him and love the guy. That's because the character represents how fun, and even light-hearted we can be, We never gave a shit about stereotypes. Only that the character was fun, and enjoyable to watch since the LT are very much well known, and quite beloved.

Holy shit, I can't believe Bob actually comes out as the sane one in this. Damn.

How do you feel about Speedy's cousin Slowpoke Rodriguez? I know it isn't Bob related, but I've never ahd a good time to ask.

 

[Mola Ram]

Revere is basically mini-Staten Island.

So, only remotely dangerous in very specific areas? Awash in guineas and micks and Trump voters? Man, no wonder Bob is so angry all the time.

 

[EarthquakeMachine]

Really impressed with the fat distribution on Bob here. Soft, slouchy shoulders and a weird pill shaped head. Totally absent any definition for a neck.

 

[Judge Dredd]

Long-time lurker, first-time poster (in this thread, at least).

One thing I've never understood about this guy is this: how did he EVER come to believe that he's a part of the "vaunted" elite? He doesn't come from an "important" family, he didn't go to some hotshit private highschool, he didn't go to an Ivy League university (did he even go to college at all?), he doesn't work in investment banking, entertainment, or politics. He can't even dress himself in formal wear properly, going off that picture of him at his sister's wedding. Does he really not understand that he's as far from the aristocracy as anyone else? I just don't get it at all.

Expanding on what others said, he thinks he's rubbing shoulders with industry giants. He thought he was best friends with Lindsey until she burned him publicly. That picture with Anita? He's on the top floor of the progressive movement! After all, he's besties with the woman who tells EA and Activision how to make games. The only reason they don't talk to him when he's not working at The Escapist is because they're busy doing their own thing.

This could be why he's so upset about cinemas closing down. He can't attend preview screenings, so he doesn't feel like an important industry insider.

What continually astounds me about CinemaBert is the staggeringly low engagement he seems to get on all of his hot takes.

Despite having 30k followers and tweeting almost non-stop every single day, and despite constantly spewing the kind of shit that would make Josef Mengele have a 'bruh' moment, every time I look up one of his tweets expecting to see him either getting his ass lit up or patted there are rarely more than half a dozen replies.

How much of a fat failure do you have to be that you can't even reliably get ratioed properly. The funniest part is the MovieBob Posting His Ls account seems to average way better engagement with only a 1/5th the follower count.

Razorfist had a great take on this. I'm not going to find the clips where he said it (was during an interview, and during one his game livestreams), but it was something like this.

Bob has been signal boosted by the biggest names in his industry. He was on screw attack during their height. He was on The Escapist during their height. He was name dropped on Howard Stern, and he's had a couple of videos go viral (his reviews of Pixels and Transformers), but his subscriber count and engagement is lower than that of some no-name YouTuber who hasn't had those benefits.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

Bobby has believed "some people don't deserve to live" ever since he was a child.
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Why did he (and apparently he alone) had to endure so much betrayal, pain, and horror? And why didn't he write about them in Brick By Brick?

I've always found Bobby discussing his childhood, specifically his childhood thought patterns, extremely bizarre.

I didn't give a shit about anything when I was a kid. I just wanted to play video games and watch cartoons.

But Bob over here was thinking about who should live and who should die, and fuming that other people weren't as obsessed with Mario as him, and that Sonic had the absolute temerity to challenge his throne.

 

[EarthquakeMachine]

But Bob over here was thinking about who should live and who should die, and fuming that other people weren't as obsessed with Mario as him, and that Sonic had the absolute temerity to challenge his throne.

The parallels with Chris Chan keep mounting. Doesn't Chris similarly hyper fixate on his childhood? Time to countdown until the day we find out about the Lego model of BobVille he still has in his closet.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Time to countdown until the day we find out about the Lego model of BobVille he still has in his closet.

He's going to call himself the CPU goddess of Super Mario, isn't he?

 

[Quixotic Man]

I've always found Bobby discussing his childhood, specifically his childhood though patterns, extremely bizarre.

I didn't give a shit about anything when I was a kid. I just wanted to play video games and watch cartoons.

But Bob over here was thinking about who should live and who should die, and fuming that other people weren't as obsessed with Mario as him, and that Sonic had the absolute temerity to challenge his throne.

Bob has a tendency to overplay things in his own head until it becomes his new reality.

Thus why his middle school bullies deserve death and why Ellis was his bestie even though they talked for seconds once.

 

[make_it_so]

Do Bob and Chu seriously believe that if the Dems act in the way that they want them to act, that it will not result in the most catastrophic loss of life on American soil since the Civil War, or are they such vile, hate-filled fucks that they don't care how many people have to die in order to bring about their neoliberal utopia?

Yes.

Lindsay Ellis dislikes right-wingers, but unlike Bob she probably doesn't think they're subhuman apes who deserve to have no rights. She also probably dislikes how Bob talks about women that disagree with him. Then there's the way he talks about rural areas/the south and midwest...she's from Tennessee. That's where her problems with Bob come from. And him just being a creep overall.

As @EarthquakeMachine mentioned, Bob simply says the quiet part out loud. Plus as a few people have suggested in the actual Ellis thread, Lindsay is of that particular section of the Millenial generation that grew up despising George W. Bush and "Red States" while seeing "Blue States" as cosmopolitan utopias - not unlike Bob. She's moved to California, and I doubt she has any real fondness for her home state.

I think so, but all he talked about was that the little girl was overdressed and clearly coded as a lesbian but Fox didn't have the guts to show it.

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https://twitter.com/oracledante/status/1368321774794940419 (Archive)

LOL "provides people with enjoyable media". No one watches Robert's trash videos and there countless movie/ media reviewers who do what he does a million times better. The only entertaining thing that Robert provides is his terrible political takes and consoomer sperging.

The only people that are a bigger a-log test than Blobbert are his dipshit fans.

Long-time lurker, first-time poster (in this thread, at least).

One thing I've never understood about this guy is this: how did he EVER come to believe that he's a part of the "vaunted" elite? He doesn't come from an "important" family, he didn't go to some hotshit private highschool, he didn't go to an Ivy League university (did he even go to college at all?), he doesn't work in investment banking, entertainment, or politics. He can't even dress himself in formal wear properly, going off that picture of him at his sister's wedding. Does he really not understand that he's as far from the aristocracy as anyone else? I just don't get it at all.

Bob grew up in a generation that was told that being a geek or having geeky interests meant that you were smart, and that meant that one day you would be wealthy and powerful - the most common example of this was "Bill Gates was a nerd in high school, and look at him now!." What they didn't mention was that not only were people like Bill Gates actually smart, but they applied themselves and probably had more than a few sleepless nights with the risk of failure constantly hanging over their heads before earning their success. Bob and many others like them instead grew up believing they were destined for greatness, that their "geekiness" and thus "smartness" meant that they didn't actually have to work, but that success would land in their laps due their inherent nature of being smart and having interests in more "intellectual" pursuits, unlike those dumb high school jocks.

Now, 20-30 years later, when Bob sees that the "dumb jocks" have successful careers and families, while "elites" like him live in flooded basement apartments having to live off of patreon pity bux, he wonders what the hell happened. But instead of concluding that the people that told him that he was destined for greatness lied to him, or that he didn't apply himself like he should have, he concludes instead that the problem is that there is "someone" holding him back from greatness and the future that he earned!

He really thinks he's a famous internet celebrity huh.

Delusion of grandeur

A delusion that's probably at least partly fueled by the fact that he was one of the earliest YouTube movie reviewers/e-celebs and was able to parlay that in to employment at a web publication. He doesn't appreciate the fact that the times have changed and that his style of movie review has gone the way of the dinosaur, as can be seen from his ever dwindling viewership numbers.

What continually astounds me about CinemaBert is the staggeringly low engagement he seems to get on all of his hot takes.

Despite having 30k followers and tweeting almost non-stop every single day, and despite constantly spewing the kind of shit that would make Josef Mengele have a 'bruh' moment, every time I look up one of his tweets expecting to see him either getting his ass lit up or patted there are rarely more than half a dozen replies.

How much of a fat failure do you have to be that you can't even reliably get ratioed properly. The funniest part is the MovieBob Posting His Ls account seems to average way better engagement with only a 1/5th the follower count.

I think that's partially the result of Twitter creating self-reinforcing bubbles, and partially the result of a number of his followers no longer having active accounts.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

Bob has a tendency to overplay things in his own head until it becomes his new reality.

Thus why his middle school bullies deserve death and why Ellis was his bestie even though they talked for seconds once.

Yeah, he's probably full of shit.

Seriously, what kid thinks like that?

 

[EarthquakeMachine]

Bob grew up in a generation that was told that being a geek or having geeky interests meant that you were smart, and that meant that one day you would be wealthy and powerful - the most common example of this was "Bill Gates was a nerd in high school, and look at him now!." What they didn't mention was that not only were people like Bill Gates actually smart, but they applied themselves and probably had more than a few sleepless nights with the risk of failure constantly hanging over their heads before earning their success. Bob and many others like them instead grew up believing they were destined for greatness, that their "geekiness" and thus "smartness" meant that they didn't actually have to work, but that success would land in their laps due their inherent nature of being smart and having interests in more "intellectual" pursuits, unlike those dumb high school jocks.

This poster, and the attitude that created it, has been disastrous on so many levels. Moviebob as we know him today and his particularly breed of consumeristic pop culture obsessives would be very different if they hadn't fallen victim to this thinking. I'm man enough to admit that for a big swath of my life I fell victim to it as well.

 

[make_it_so]

This poster, and the attitude that created it, has been disastrous on so many levels. Moviebob as we know him today and his particularly breed of consumeristic pop culture obsessives would be very different if they hadn't fallen victim to this thinking. I'm man enough to admit that for a big swath of my life I fell victim to it as well.

Same here.

Also, Mike Rowe was doing God's work a few years ago trying to get people re-invested in trades. Is he still making efforts and having success in that, or has he been cancelled for having the wrong politics?

 

[BScCollateral]

Yeah, he's probably full of shit.

Seriously, what kid thinks like that?

Confession: I did, sometimes. However, I grew out of it.