How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Miss Tommie Jayne Wasserberg]

I found a wad of dog crap on the sole of my brand new sneakers in the morning and then on the way to the bus stop to catch the #18 down 6th Ave., a really skeevy tweeker lurking in a doorway called me a "faggot" in a threatening way. That's only the second time in my life I've ever been called a faggot by a stranger on the street. My presentation is pretty gender neutral and most people don't notice that i'm trans, seeing either a pretty ordinary cis male or female in hippie colors going by. I usually don't have to explain myself when i get misgendered either and most people apologize for getting it wrong, which is when i explain that i totally understand that i'll register as male in somebody's mind's eye. Everywhere should be as hip as Tucson and safe to be whatever you want to be. There are even packs of furries able to openly cruise the entertainment district safely.

Then, the #2 bus up 22nd St. to the clinic on Cherrybell was running real late and just barely got me there on time, but they were checking people in very slowly and i ended up ten minutes late for an appointment with the head of el rio's behavioral health department to get my treatment plan back together. It went real well. She'll be writing letters of medical necessity for some minor GAPs (gender affirmation procedure) ; hair replacement, hair removal and contour liposuction and channeling me into some much needed PT to get some weight off.

Back in my studio, things are really looking good. I have three moldavite specimens listed at Ebay and all three have bids, with several days left to the auction. I've already turned down five or six offers and have five more smaller pieces to list tonight. My friend just left after delivering a sack of some really heady hybrid grown in Sonora. I'll probably light up a stream around 8 or 9 and make some noise for a while.

I stumbled on this thread looking for a place to post this meme and a discussion about it. These are hard times. Stay honest and keep smiling no matter what. Much respect to @milk Mage for starting this excellent thread. Was anybody kind enough to perform the euthanasia they were requesting?

Happy Day

Peace

Tommie Jayne.

 

[Curt Sibling]

I'm tempted to be the third stranger to call the above poser a chunk of wood.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

I am desperately unhappy. My wife and I haven't had sexy times in months. She told me on Valentines day to not bother shaving my junk, because I'm not likely to get any, unless it's from a coworker.

The universe has a sense of humor for sure though. New girl started work last week, and we got talking on Tuesday. Her mum and my sister were best friends, I didn't recognize her at all, but she recognized me. We always said she'd grow up to be a heartbreaker, but I didn't ever expect it to be MY heart thats breaking.

I want to be loyal to my wife, but I've gotten more affection from my coworkers than my wife over the last few years and it's wearing me out. Can't shower or eat before work, that wakes up the wife. Can't sit on my couch, the light wakes up the wife. I work, she doesn't, yet I have to do cleaning when I get home or I get screamed at. I'm so unhappy, but it's not like I want to hurt her or my kids, so I just... exist.

Because of the way the lockdowns are here, I can socialize with my coworkers, noone else. Not a suprise to me to see some of the younger people at work start to hook up. I just wanna be happy again. It isn't right that the only affection I get right now is from my coworkers, gotten more hugs at work from my male coworkers than from my wife in the last year.

I don't want to divorce her and have her rape me in child support/alimoney, so I keep trying to make her happy.

My memory has been shitty since I got two concussions in one day a few years ago, but I don't know how to improve it. I can forget two things out of four within 5 minutes, and have no idea how to improve it.

Thanks for this thread. I needed to vent.

You are unhappy now, you will be resentful soon and that will turn even more sour. Fuck your wife, fuck your coworker instead or at least test the waters so you don't feel as trapped. Give it some time and your wife will dump you the moment she's got an in on a guy she fancies, she is as unhappy as you are. Think of it this way: she acts like a sullen teen that can't move out yet.

Save yourself, man.

 

[Agarathium1066]

I am desperately unhappy. My wife and I haven't had sexy times in months. She told me on Valentines day to not bother shaving my junk, because I'm not likely to get any, unless it's from a coworker.

The universe has a sense of humor for sure though. New girl started work last week, and we got talking on Tuesday. Her mum and my sister were best friends, I didn't recognize her at all, but she recognized me. We always said she'd grow up to be a heartbreaker, but I didn't ever expect it to be MY heart thats breaking.

I want to be loyal to my wife, but I've gotten more affection from my coworkers than my wife over the last few years and it's wearing me out. Can't shower or eat before work, that wakes up the wife. Can't sit on my couch, the light wakes up the wife. I work, she doesn't, yet I have to do cleaning when I get home or I get screamed at. I'm so unhappy, but it's not like I want to hurt her or my kids, so I just... exist.

Your wife clearly despises you, it's likely best you make plans to separate from her. She's likely already doing so as well given she is bluntly sending warning signals like that.

I'm not going to pretend to know everything but there's a strong possibility that she's waiting for the lockdown to end so she can find someone else or return to spending time with someone else. You deserve to be happy and if she's clearly so bitter then it will even improve her life as well if that is any considerable benefit to you. By making the first move and being frank about it you can potentially avoid serious issues with the kids as well.

 

[Not a local]

I said something I shouldn't have to someone I care about deeply. They don't seem to mind now that there's been some time, but it's eating away at me. I know I hurt this person and my nights have changed from happy peaceful sleep to somber regret. It's a horrible feeling to have, and I hope someday I can move on.

 

[Curt Sibling]

I said something I shouldn't have to someone I care about deeply. They don't seem to mind now that there's been some time, but it's eating away at me. I know I hurt this person and my nights have changed from happy peaceful sleep to somber regret. It's a horrible feeling to have, and I hope someday I can move on.

Is it feasible to discuss it with them and clear the air?

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

Still can't stop drinking, still alone, still go to bed 8 PM out of boredom, yet started meditating. Weird combination.

 

[A Grey Cat]

Got plastered on pina coladas and jager last night. Expected to wake up with a raging hangover but I'm actually just kinda feeling meh.

Though looking back at what I posted last night I'm glad I said what I said on kiwi farms, anyplace else and the cancel mobs would be soooooo after me even If I didn't mean any of it.

 

[Foltest]

ringfinger is full of pus. need to go to my gp for this.

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

ringfinger is full of pus. need to go to my gp for this.

Film that release for me, I love that kind of shit.

 

[Not a local]

Is it feasible to discuss it with them and clear the air?

We already talked about what happened. I'm the one who is unable to deal with what I did. (I know without context this sounds weird, but that would be tmi)

 

[Queen_Ree]

This is oddly specific but I found out today that my town is most likely going to build a new wastewater treatment plant very close to my parents property. It’s such a shame because the property is in a great location otherwise, minutes away from the interstate and civilization but on a dead end road surrounded by fields that give you the illusion you are out in the country. I’m probably stressing about it way more than I should but they had the house built 30 years ago and I spent most of my childhood there. It’s such a calm, peaceful spot that has held its value well. But in ten years who the hell knows..

 

[Coffee Druid]

My car can be such a pain. It’s around 20 years old, and had an engine replaced so I guess I shouldn’t expect a lot. If I don’t drive it every few days the battery will die. I’ve made sure to unplug anything from the charging port when not in use(I’m spoiled by newer cars not draining the battery with those when off) make sure no lights or wipers or anything are on. But still, even after buying a new battery a couple months ago. I bought a trickle charger to see if that will help? I have an auto parts store near me that offers free battery charging but I’ve done that a few times in the same amount of months.

Oh, to have enough money to buy a more recent car (at least within the last decade). Eventually.

In more positive news the baby chicks I mentioned earlier are doing well. I’ve even got a few to eat some food crumbles from my hand, though they’re still skittish. Slow progress.

 

[The Curmudgeon]

I'm doing better now that I have a new job which has helped me move on. I used to be an election worker, but got really burnt out with this last year. This new job has good pay and benefits. It's also remote work which is great!

I needed a big change in my life and it finally happened!

 

[Fools Idol]

I am desperately unhappy. My wife and I haven't had sexy times in months. She told me on Valentines day to not bother shaving my junk, because I'm not likely to get any, unless it's from a coworker.

The universe has a sense of humor for sure though. New girl started work last week, and we got talking on Tuesday. Her mum and my sister were best friends, I didn't recognize her at all, but she recognized me. We always said she'd grow up to be a heartbreaker, but I didn't ever expect it to be MY heart thats breaking.

I want to be loyal to my wife, but I've gotten more affection from my coworkers than my wife over the last few years and it's wearing me out. Can't shower or eat before work, that wakes up the wife. Can't sit on my couch, the light wakes up the wife. I work, she doesn't, yet I have to do cleaning when I get home or I get screamed at. I'm so unhappy, but it's not like I want to hurt her or my kids, so I just... exist.

Because of the way the lockdowns are here, I can socialize with my coworkers, noone else. Not a suprise to me to see some of the younger people at work start to hook up. I just wanna be happy again. It isn't right that the only affection I get right now is from my coworkers, gotten more hugs at work from my male coworkers than from my wife in the last year.

I don't want to divorce her and have her rape me in child support/alimoney, so I keep trying to make her happy.

My memory has been shitty since I got two concussions in one day a few years ago, but I don't know how to improve it. I can forget two things out of four within 5 minutes, and have no idea how to improve it.

Thanks for this thread. I needed to vent.

People often say that you should try to stick it out and fix your relationship, that running away isn't the solution, and that's something that I broadly agree with. Too many people just give up when times get tough, but sometimes there is nothing to fix and you end up stuck here until one of you calls it quits.

The only advice I can give you is to sit down and talk to your wife about this mess and decide where to go from here. If she is uninterested in talking though these problems then it might time for you to move on. I would also suggest against affair, a clean break would be in both you, your wife and your child's best interest.

Also you should she a doctor about your memory problems, that sound really bad.

 

[Foltest]

Film that release for me, I love that kind of shit.

As long you don’t jerk off to it, I am happy.

 

[soft breathing]

My partner and me kinda want to settle down in the next few years, so I made the big mistake of looking at prices for houses. Yeah... I feel kind of sick to my stomach now and feel an existential crisis coming at me full-force.

For some reason I can't stop thinking about people who are 10-20 years younger than us. And how much they're going to have to pay for houses when they're old enough and want to settle down. This just somehow sends me spiralling. I don't even know.

 

[Megatardingo]

My partner and me kinda want to settle down in the next few years, so I made the big mistake of looking at prices for houses. Yeah... I feel kind of sick to my stomach now and feel an existential crisis coming at me full-force.

For some reason I can't stop thinking about people who are 10-20 years younger than us. And how much they're going to have to pay for houses when they're old enough and want to settle down. This just somehow sends me spiralling. I don't even know.

Don't do that, don't play oracle. When you try to see what will happen in the future not only will you be wrong most of the time you also skew the scale of things by seeing the whole as a single point in time. It's like 1st time parents when they sit down with the newborn baby in their arms and they're already planning how much cash college is gonna cost and how they can barely afford diapers as it is.

While I'm not an american and I don't know of your house market I'll try to assuage a bit your worries: if your anxiety steems from the lump-sum of whatever your house costs bear in mind that prices are always orientative and you can haggle down (sometimes a lot if the house has been listed for a while and if the conditions are right) and also the mortgages monthlies can be way cheaper than you might imagine (specially considering at the very least they'll be cheaper than rent and considering how many banks are desperate for some cash injections and dumping physical assets things are wild). Don't know if it's the case in america but I know in my country banks were selling houses they got after executing mortgages that couldn't be paid just for the difference of the debt remaining (say they paid like 70k out of a 100k mortgage on a house and then got evicted due to not paying, you could buy a house for 30k which is a steal) of course said houses were in areas that weren't as coveted as others and it varies if you wanna live near a particular place or not but trust me, the market is wide and there's always opportunities out there.

Quoting my favourite paragraph from lotr:

Sam: It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer.

No matter how bad things get, it'll always pass. There's always a way to happiness, now and forever and even if it's a bumpy ride you'll get your happy ending if you never lose hope. Hope this helped and you can relax a bit

 

[JimiHendrix]

bad, but better than before i think. it's been 24 days.

 

[soft breathing]

While I'm not an american and I don't know of your house market

I'm not American either, let's just say I live in a quite expensive city in a quite expensive country right now.

I know in my country banks were selling houses they got after executing mortgages that couldn't be paid just for the difference of the debt remaining

They're not doing that here as far as I'm aware. But my partner just said it as well - the prices of the houses that are 'still' online are probably blown out of proportion to a degree - otherwise they wouldn't still be on sale.

And thank you so much for your kind and uplifting words, man. I should really stop overthinking about stuff that'll possibly happen in around two years from now and that I cannot change anyways. And instead focus what I can change right now. Aka - save up money and keep going forward.